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pandorabellatrix

Daling with rl and sl partners...

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I like a guy in rl, been dating, I feel encouragd to start a relationship.

But... it's also happening in sl with another guy! I think this won't be good at all (for me) , so

How many people have one sl partner and a different one at rl?

Is this hard to deal with? Do you keep in secret?

 

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Just now, pandorabellatrix said:

I like a guy in rl, been dating, I feel encouragd to start a relationship.

But... it's also happening in sl with another guy! I think this won't be good at all (for me) , so

How many people have one sl partner and a different one at rl?

Is this hard to deal with? Do you keep in secret?

 

I'm married in RL.  I have had a boyfriend or partner in in SL at the same time.  Some people can do it and some don't want to.  I always tell my SL person that he has toi understand my RL comes first, my husband comes first, always and no exceptions.  And I make it clear I am not looking for us to move into RL.  Not everyone wants that, even if they say they do.  But if he breaks the rules I have always been clear about then he goes bye bye.

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 some people can have 10 alts and 10 different partners on them)) i m always make it clear that i have partner in rl and no need to make SL relationships more in rl)

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Not that my husband would ever set foot in SL, but if he did, he would be very sorry if he got himself a girlfriend. 

Do unto others...

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2 minutes ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

My RL husband introduced me to my SL wife.

I had an SL boyfriend introduce me to his RL wife.  

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41 minutes ago, pandorabellatrix said:

I like a guy in rl, been dating, I feel encouragd to start a relationship.

But... it's also happening in sl with another guy! I think this won't be good at all (for me) , so

How many people have one sl partner and a different one at rl?

Is this hard to deal with? Do you keep in secret?

 

RL over SL all day.

The average SL relationship lasts about 3 weeks to a month.

Do both, you only live once....or twice.

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40 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

The average SL relationship lasts about 3 weeks to a month.

So glad I am not average then

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My SL relationships are usually friendship oriented rather than romance. I've got quite a few problems by not being romantic enough but that's how I like things. I prefer deeper emotions to be RL related.

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5 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

So glad I am not average then

Me too.

Clover and I will be together 10 years this December.

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2 minutes ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

Me too.

Clover and I will be together 10 years this December.

Congrats!  Ki and I will be 10 years in March next year :)

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1 hour ago, janetosilio said:

The average SL relationship lasts about 3 weeks to a month.

from 24h to 2yrs... and everything in between  🤔

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27 minutes ago, Ethan Paslong said:

from 24h to 2yrs... and everything in between  🤔

I remember staying up to 3 am to be a bridesmaid for a waste of money HUGE  wedding in SL.   By the time I woke up in the morning they were unpartnered,  blocked and muted each other for some sl drama  indiscretion

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My SL Wedding / partnering was the shortest of all of my relationships.  I had always said SL weddings were ridiculous - not even sure why the heck I agreed to one.  The others did not involve a partnering and lasted quite a bit longer.  I still keep in touch in RL with 2 of them, though it is all just a normal friendship now.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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I you have to do it in secret, you already know it's wrong, or some part of you does anyway (exceptions exist, I'm certain, but they are far fewer in number than most want to admit, lol).  You do you, but don't be surprised if you get judged for it, or if your actions/desires don't mesh well with the other party(ies). The same applies to loads of things, though, really. 

 

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I dated a gentleman who was married IRL. Soon, his wife became one of my closest and loved friends. For the longest time I would IM her (while her husband and I were together) "omg are you sure you're ok with this??" because at the time I couldn't understand how a married couple could do it and still be happily married. Seriously.

Now, after having some experience with it in SL (previous lover and I were quite Poly after a while) that if both parties are fine with it, and there is a strong trust and unbreakable bond, then it doesn't matter and everything becomes much smoother and both parties enjoy themselves and use the experiences to strengthen their own relationship. Plus, oodles of friends.

HOWEVER... The gentleman I am with now, we have talked about going into RL and seeing what happens. With this man, I have no interest in sharing him in RL or SL and he feels the same.

Edited by Laoise Rumsford
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6 hours ago, pandorabellatrix said:

I like a guy in rl, been dating, I feel encouragd to start a relationship.

But... it's also happening in sl with another guy! I think this won't be good at all (for me) , so

How many people have one sl partner and a different one at rl?

Is this hard to deal with? Do you keep in secret?

While everyone else is quite right that it's possible to do both at the same time, they're talking about people in a settled relationship or marriage that then branch out into a SL partnership that is always inferior to the established RL one. That's totally different to being torn between two brand new, budding relationships. I'd strongly recommend that you choose the RL guy over the virtual one, and I think it's going to be difficult to focus on the two for you right now. Possible, but difficult. 

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5 hours ago, janetosilio said:

Do both, you only live once....or twice.

I considered warning you about possibly infringing upon my copyright,

but since I infringed upon Ian Fleming's title (to say nothing of a whole lot of his plot elements) I have decided to to let it slide ;-).

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Keep in mind this is only my opinion, and opinions are like assholes , everyone has got one.... here goes, try being honest with both, don't be specific , just say i am seeing someone else if you feel obligated to get it off your chest or if one wants to be committed,otherwise.. it.is not wrong to see multiple people, it is only wrong to lie and tell them you are committed to them, when you are not.If you become committed that is a whole different journey , until then it is casual dating, you don't have to choose your life mate tomorrow.... or even better get them both guns and have a good old fashioned fight to the death...

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Asking people who have been married for ages isn't a good indication. At the start of a relationship things are very different communications and trust wise. Ultimately you can get to the point you can have both, but right now it seems logical the new, RL one, should (even must) take priority. And it needs to be exclusive for a while.

My opinion is it's time to tell your SL lover that your RL has changed for the better, and you can't remain the same.

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I'm of the opinion that a real person is a real person, doesn't matter if I'm talking to them with my voice or my keyboard. You have to decide if it would bother you if the roles were reversed.

Personally, If I want a digital girlfriend, there are plenty of VR and games out there that'll give me one- bonus that I can hit the power button and turn her off if she nags too much.

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