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1 minute ago, Cindy Evanier said:

If you know it won't go down well, why say something and 2.  You know nothing about the OP's life. Maybe going out clubbing is not an option

1. Because many (most?) things that are true don't go down well. 

2. Ok, fair enough. Replace "clubbing" with "something fun offline because dammit you are 22 years old and when I was your age, Pluto was a planet."

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I don't think age has all that much to do with why someone's here rather than venturing out in RL.  You might be surprised at how many  young people are not only enjoying SL but are active and appreciated members of this forum.

This—inworld, the forum, other forums and countless blogs, all  of it—is a society, a city, a world even. I'm an old fogey, but it pleases me greatly to see there are younger fresher minds to share in our socializing. I say welcome, and the more the merrier.

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It's not that I think young people shouldn't be welcome in SL or don't have anything to contribute. It's more that I really wish I'd spent more time off the screen when I was 22. You don't realise how valuable and short those years are until they're gone.

I'm an SL old timer (check my rez date), so I very much understand what the appeal is and what the possibilities are. But, and I did say I knew this wasn't going to go down well but dammit it's true... it is really, really not the best, most fulfilling or enriching way for a young vibrant person to spend their best years. Go to real sex clubs, wear real gorgeous clothes while you still can (you can, you haven't got a clue how gorgeous you are, you're 22), make real life messes and mistakes with real life people while you're still young enough for your life to be un-*****upable. 


Of course there are going to be some exceptions to this but they're not the norm. Barring some very specific circumstances, 22-year-olds should be out having fun, clubbing, cross stitching, whatever. Turn the computer off and go have some real life fun with your 22 year old self.

 

1 hour ago, Dillon Levenque said:

You might be surprised at how many  young people are not only enjoying SL

I was indeed surprised when I came back in after a hiatus of a few years. When I was here last time, most people seemed to be in their 30s, 40s and beyond. Now, there are more and more  in their 20s. Perhaps it was always like this and I just gravitated towards the older crowds last time, I don't know. But yes, it definitely was a surprise. Jeez, if I were 22 again...

Anyway, it's a moot point because OP is obviously going to continue investing in SL, as is her perfect right. Damn, though. If I could relive my 22nd year, you wouldn't find me on here.

*goes to bleach liver spots*

Edited by Amina Sopwith
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We'll just disagree slightly and (hopefully) amicably, then. I think there's plenty of time in any young person's life (assuming no familial or marriage responsibilities) to include the exploration of Second Life as a pastime. I would agree wholeheartedly that the real is to be experienced and explored first and foremost.

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Absolutely. I wouldn't be having this reaction if the (clearly intelligent and articulate) OP was talking about building or plot-based RP. It's the looking for OOC relationships to fulfil a personal need that concerns me a bit. SL relationships can be intense and addictive largely because they really don't function in the way that RL relationships do, and they can make it harder to be happy in RL. I just don't think a young, vibrant person at the start of their journey of self discovery and the world, in a formative phase, should make the SL experience their benchmark. I also think that if you've got a 22 year old, functioning body, you should be bloody using it all the time. 

I know there are people who meet their true life partner in SL, but the dynamics still change when they take it into the real world, with its mess and mundanity. 

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I am absolutely giddily following this thread. The optimism and sense of self worth shown here are that bit of magic we could -all- do with these Holidays.

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On 12/2/2018 at 1:32 PM, Amina Sopwith said:

I know this won't go down well but OP, you're 22 years old. Turn the computer off and go out clubbing. 

 

Haha, that made me laugh. I am not a fan of clubs - too loud, to anxiety inducing - and like I said, I am not looking for a real life relationship. There are things I want to explore here first, within the relative safety of my own home, with stakes that are a lot lower. I have a real life play partner who I adore, friends and all that. And I have RP partners in other platforms but SL has it's own appeal, if it makes sense? 

On 12/2/2018 at 1:37 PM, Cindy Evanier said:

If you know it won't go down well, why say something and 2.  You know nothing about the OP's life. Maybe going out clubbing is not an option

It actually isn't! Different people have different experiences, and people need to realize that not everyone is able to do things that are um.. relatively easy for them.

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On 11/30/2018 at 12:24 PM, pandorabellatrix said:

Haven't you thought of seducing any Linden Labs staff member in world? xD 

Ooo, gotta  get me one of those 👀👀👀👀

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On 11/30/2018 at 1:22 PM, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe start with a “Splenda Daddy”..

Mama wants her very own Tony Stark. 😛 

I mean, I am down for anything at this point? I wanna experiment and stuff. Expand my experiences.

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7 hours ago, FollyToBeWise said:

Haha, that made me laugh. I am not a fan of clubs - too loud, to anxiety inducing - and like I said, I am not looking for a real life relationship. There are things I want to explore here first, within the relative safety of my own home, with stakes that are a lot lower. I have a real life play partner who I adore, friends and all that. And I have RP partners in other platforms but SL has it's own appeal, if it makes sense? 

The comment was a bit glib and not intended to be taken completely literally. You can substitute "go out clubbing" with "doing something enjoyable and satisfying in real life because you're 22 years old, for frig's sake".

I absolutely understand where you're coming from and it would be hypocritical of me to say nobody should have relationships in SL. But in your case, I do stand by what I said. You're 22 years old, and you're obviously bright and vibrant. SL can be a bit of a rabbit hole, particularly where sexual fantasies and relationships are involved, and may not be quite as "safe" as it appears to be at first. People may not agree with me on this, but I do not think it is the best place for a curious, smart young adult to be looking as they go along their journey of self discovery. Especially not if they've already actually got someone in RL with whom they have a mutually trusting and caring relationship, at whatever commitment level suits them. SL has a way of making you dissatisfied with what you have, and potentially warping your view of what people are really like. I made a comment elsewhere the other day about the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter...don't know if you're a fan, but if not, look it up.

I certainly wish I'd spent less time on the screens when I was 22. You don't realise how short and precious those years are until they're gone, and they go fast, trust me.

Anyway. You're a grown up and obviously it's your life and your decision. But in response to this thread and some posts elsewhere, coupled with my own experience of SL...well, that's what I think.

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20 hours ago, FollyToBeWise said:

 

 I wanna experiment and stuff. Expand my experiences.

I can lend you my  bunsen burner (don't worry it's burns other stuff not just bunsen)  and a lab coat if you want to experiment. 

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2 hours ago, Derekmate said:

I can lend you my  bunsen burner (don't worry it's burns other stuff not just bunsen)  and a lab coat if you want to experiment. 

Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker. 

6D72E23F-0D8C-4868-BA45-8012D94BD970.jpeg

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On 1/27/2019 at 3:15 PM, Amina Sopwith said:

The comment was a bit glib and not intended to be taken completely literally. You can substitute "go out clubbing" with "doing something enjoyable and satisfying in real life because you're 22 years old, for frig's sake".

I absolutely understand where you're coming from and it would be hypocritical of me to say nobody should have relationships in SL. But in your case, I do stand by what I said. You're 22 years old, and you're obviously bright and vibrant. SL can be a bit of a rabbit hole, particularly where sexual fantasies and relationships are involved, and may not be quite as "safe" as it appears to be at first. People may not agree with me on this, but I do not think it is the best place for a curious, smart young adult to be looking as they go along their journey of self discovery. Especially not if they've already actually got someone in RL with whom they have a mutually trusting and caring relationship, at whatever commitment level suits them. SL has a way of making you dissatisfied with what you have, and potentially warping your view of what people are really like. I made a comment elsewhere the other day about the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter...don't know if you're a fan, but if not, look it up.

I certainly wish I'd spent less time on the screens when I was 22. You don't realise how short and precious those years are until they're gone, and they go fast, trust me.

Anyway. You're a grown up and obviously it's your life and your decision. But in response to this thread and some posts elsewhere, coupled with my own experience of SL...well, that's what I think.

Oh, I am more than aware. I've been on the internet for the majority of my life and I've grown so much over the years. I used to be that trusting, doe-eyed person who saw good in everyone. I was too... nice and at the expense of my own well-being. After turning 18 and getting away from my abusive family, I began to recognize that some people don't deserve my time and energy. Slowly, I began to learn to put my well-being first and recognizing abusive behavior for what it is. I've grown so much, even in the months I've been on Second Life. Partially because of Second Life, mostly because I found great mentors and educators in the BDSM community. In a sense, I found myself.

The internet is a double-edged sword -- it has great resources, connects you with great people you wouldn't have otherwise met, but also bring harmful people closer as well. It's why I don't mix real life with Second Life and why I don't want to commit and be exclusive with anyone. I know there will be bad experiences, but to quote Arya Stark quoting Syrio Forel: A bruise is a lesson and each lesson makes us better. 

I appreciate your concern and how kind you've been but I promise, I can take care of myself. ❤️ 

14 hours ago, Derekmate said:

I can lend you my  bunsen burner (don't worry it's burns other stuff not just bunsen)  and a lab coat if you want to experiment. 

I have to spend hours upon hours in labs as is. Please, noo. 😧

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