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It has been pointed out to me that my ‘Attitude’ is not good. Am wondering if it’s a culture thing or idk what. I am half Scottish and half US maybe it’s just me. I am fiercely independent the men I have recently been European and just can’t handle me. My dad who was American told me to stand up for myself so sometimes I can be confrontational I guess when I think I am being played with. 

 

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

Am wondering if it’s a culture thing or idk what. I am half Scottish and half US maybe it’s just me. I am fiercely independent the men I have recently been European and just can’t handle me.

If culture was the case, then it would be a conflict with multiple cultures, because Europe has vastly different cultures within itself.

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1 hour ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

It has been pointed out to me that my ‘Attitude’ is not good. Am wondering if it’s a culture thing or idk what. I am half Scottish and half US maybe it’s just me. I am fiercely independent the men I have recently been European and just can’t handle me. My dad who was American told me to stand up for myself so sometimes I can be confrontational I guess when I think I am being played with. 

Who told you that?

If it's some knuckledragger interested only in some horizontal tango, his opinion is worth less than nothing. If some dude tries to treat you like garbage and then gaslight you into thinking you're at fault when you fight back, then he can go copulate with a cactus.

Which, by the way, was the line I gave the last dude to tell me that tending to his needs was more important than my real life job.

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Just be yourself, unless you really want to change that, but if you really want to change it you won't feel the need  to ask  others what they think. I think  a lot of  men outside the US have a hard time with US women.

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Not just US women Tali!!!!

Laika...if you had an attitude problem I think it would have shown up here on the forum. It hasn't. Don't let the pond life bring you down. Needy guys don't like independant women. Simple as that. 

You're ok in my book. *hugs and smiles *

Edited by BelindaN
Spelling duh!
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1 hour ago, Talligurl said:

Just be yourself, unless you really want to change that, but if you really want to change it you won't feel the need  to ask  others what they think. I think  a lot of  men outside the US have a hard time with US women.

This feels absolutely true.  Although I have to say it's hard to believe they are being absolutely honest either.  I get the feeling that men outside the US  make a statement, no matter how outrageous, and expect me to just do it.  If I want to, okay, they're fine.  But if I don't, they often get so confused, frustrated and angry that a woman would not do what they want right away.  I can't really believe that women outside the US are so different than me.  I am not hard to get along with, like to try new things.  If a man is interested in me and I don't want to do something he should just suggest something else.  Okay, so after all that, I really just want to say that men that act that way are not worth our time.  We all have our red flags for guys, but honestly I think we all need to able to say "Bye bye, jerk" and not feel bad about ourselves.

 

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1 minute ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

Last one was German and so charming but only when he felt like it. He said I was out of line because when he was not wanting to engage or voice when he was ‘busy’ I should just go away. Maybe he was right lol anyway he has muted me because I said things he obviously did not want to hear. 

He just sounds like a jerk to me.  If a guy actually tells me to go away, I go and he can do whatever it is guys do when they're alone forever for all I care

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54 minutes ago, Donna Underall said:

This feels absolutely true.  Although I have to say it's hard to believe they are being absolutely honest either.  I get the feeling that men outside the US  make a statement, no matter how outrageous, and expect me to just do it.  If I want to, okay, they're fine.  But if I don't, they often get so confused, frustrated and angry that a woman would not do what they want right away.  I can't really believe that women outside the US are so different than me.  I am not hard to get along with, like to try new things.  If a man is interested in me and I don't want to do something he should just suggest something else.  Okay, so after all that, I really just want to say that men that act that way are not worth our time.  We all have our red flags for guys, but honestly I think we all need to able to say "Bye bye, jerk" and not feel bad about ourselves.

I'm honestly not that comfortable with the idea that this is a "American women vs non-American women" issue. I wrote out a long paragraph explaining why, but I deleted it because I don't think you're intentionally being offensive, and my words came across kinda hostile. But anyone who has lived anywhere in Europe or Central/Southern America can tell you that the "meek non-US woman vs strong independent American" myth is just that; a myth.

There are overly-agreeable women (and men) everywhere, and there are predatory men (and women) ready to take advantage of them everywhere. This isn't a cultural thing, it's an arsehole thing. That's the thing to focus on.

Edited by AyelaNewLife
Your censor has no power here!
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1 hour ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

Last one was German and so charming but only when he felt like it. He said I was out of line because when he was not wanting to engage or voice when he was ‘busy’ I should just go away. Maybe he was right lol anyway he has muted me because I said things he obviously did not want to hear. 

Just avoid voicing if you can. I have trouble talking to my mother for five minutes on the phone without awkward silences. So to engage a person you hardly know is just speeding the whole communication thing up. I suppose it will expose the pond life sooner but for me, this is about keyboard chat.

I've only had three guys throw their dummy out of the pram so far, but the first one, who said he had reported me to Linden, really spooked me, because it came from nowhere after I told him I didn't want him "exclusively".........

Another guy went off on one when he realised I hung out (dancing) with other guys, and basically said "I'm number one or that's it"...........   Hey, I'm OK with "that's it". The last thing I want is a control freak...................

I'm a free spirit here and won't be suffocated by any guy wanting a real life relationship. It's just not why I'm here............?

So Laika, just have fun, don't worry about these guys, they are the losers!!!

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6 hours ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

It has been pointed out to me that my ‘Attitude’ is not good. Am wondering if it’s a culture thing or idk what.

No it is not your Attitude, nor is it cultural, It is that you are confident in what you want and who you are. I have wondered the same thing many times and it always comes down to the fact I am a mature women who knows what she wants, and is sick and tired of playing childish games. Your Father is right about standing up for yourself it is called self respect and dignity. Some thing my parents instilled in me when I was younger. When Men or friends can step up to your level they are worth keeping. 

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5 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:

Who told you that?

If it's some knuckledragger interested only in some horizontal tango, his opinion is worth less than nothing. If some dude tries to treat you like garbage and then gaslight you into thinking you're at fault when you fight back, then he can go copulate with a cactus.

Which, by the way, was the line I gave the last dude to tell me that tending to his needs was more important than my real life job.

Sounds like my ex....you don't want me to get started on him! But I agree Ayela. Some men could use a good copulating with a cactus

 

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It certainly isn't just 'foreign' men (what's foreign even mean, in a place like SL?) who exhibit the attitudes you describe. The US is littered with movements like the PUA, MRA, and Incel creeps (and if you don't know what those mean, lucky you!). Even without those extremes, there is no shortage of guys that somehow feel they have something owed them just because they're males, and you are the one owing. Might be an east/west thing in the US. My mother was always  telling my sister to avoid East coast guys because they were much more patriarchal back there than out west where we lived. My sister, who now lives back east with her California-born husband, says there's truth to that attitude.

In any case being independent, even fiercely so (that'd be the Scot side, I reckon), shouldn't be a hindrance to anybody worth a damn. It's a plus.

 

Edited by Dillon Levenque
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I'm first generation born American.. My pop was born right outside Glasgow. I'm a Scottish pain in the butt and I know it. Women who plain talk and not fiddle around and back step their opinions always are near and dear to me heart.. but Soy boy men might find it off putting. But, you know what? Frak 'em all.. we are who we are and we love man and women who love a challenge ?
 

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Sounds like he was one with attitude problem, not worth your time or worrying over. As I say in my first life, "my attitude is based on how you treat me"  - I can be lovely and polite when treated with politeness and respect, now if your rude and nasty to me then I will not hesitate to use my claws and being sarcastic madam back to ya!

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