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GuyJee

Have you ever been ghosted by someone?

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You got along well with someone, suddenly he/she stops replying, ignores you, or blocks you from everywhere.

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

Edited by GuyJee
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I just assume everyone else is as unreliable as me and comes and goes from SL whenever they choose, rather than feeling the need to be in-world all the time.

RL first SL second, unless you're lacking something in RL. Taking an SL relationship too seriously is a recipe for disappointment.

 

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sometimes it can be difficult for people to take No for an answer

like I have a SL friend who is good fun generally and able to have a conversation about pretty much anything.  The problem for me is that every conversation invariably has him wanting to do the naughties with me. When I have said on a number of occasions this is not going to happen, he still persists and laughs it off as a a bit of fun for him to bring it up. like is somehow amusing for me. So I don't reply to his IM Hi! anymore. I haven't blocked or defriended him and still chat to him inworld when we see each other. I just ignore his IMs

not saying that this is your issue, just that it is a common reason for why IMs stop getting responded to

what he thinks about this I dunno as he never mentions it when we do see each other inworld. Neither do I. He hasn't defriended me either

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11 hours ago, GuyJee said:

You got along well with someone, suddenly he/she stops replying, ignores you, or blocks you from everywhere.

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

one of reasons can be that this friend was too deep is his-her lies and decided just dissapear.I will try to forget that and move on

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11 hours ago, GuyJee said:

You got along well with someone, suddenly he/she stops replying, ignores you, or blocks you from everywhere.

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

I did it with annoying folks? Wanna hear why people do it?

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I rarely IM anyone first, so I don't know if they are ignoring me.

I really wish there were still 6 check boxes beside  people's names, so I could see who was hiding from me. Hiding? Unfriended :)

On the other side though, I had one of my best friends IM me and ask why I was hiding my online status from her. Since i never hide from anyone I told her I had no idea. But looking at her name, the show online status box was unchecked. I told her it was a glitch and checked the box again.

I never hide from anyone, however I do unfriend annoying people. If I'm lucky, they won't notice for months. When they ask I say it was a mistake, apologize profusely and re add them.

 

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I had this friend, my best friend ever here (no he didn't ghost me) He was like  a brother to me, we had lots of adventures. One day I met another guy, and he and I became a couple. Well my good friend, I guess thinking it would be awkward to hang all by himself with me and my new boyfriend, found a girlfriend. His relationship with her went much better than my relationship with the new boyfriend. Soon I was the single person hanging out with them, I got along great with his girlfriend, who had partnered with him. She had my art gallery on her picks, and she and I even said that they adopted me and I started calling my old friend Daddy. I knew it bugged him but it was fun. One day my friends partner told us that her RL was getting stressful, her Mom was very sick and work was getting demanding, she wouldn't be coming to SL much anymore, eventually she stopped coming  all together.

Then months later he and I figured out that she was back on SL, she had unfriended both of us, and removed the pick about my art gallery. She unpartnered him and partnered with someone else. She never responded to my IMs, eventually he did get her to talk to him, and she just apologized for having moved on, but didn't take him back into her SL social  circle. I never heard from her again.

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1 hour ago, Phorumities said:

 

I really wish there were still 6 check boxes beside  people's names, so I could see who was hiding from me. Hiding? Unfriended :)

On the other side though, I had one of my best friends IM me and ask why I was hiding my online status from her. Since i never hide from anyone I told her I had no idea. But looking at her name, the show online status box was unchecked. I told her it was a glitch and checked the box again.

I never hide from anyone, however I do unfriend annoying people. If I'm lucky, they won't notice for months. When they ask I say it was a mistake, apologize profusely and re add them.

 

If your check boxes could glitch, maybe theirs can also?  Or at least until it happens multiple times.  You don't really need all of the old boxes to see it either. Just buy one of those cheap scripted devices that can tell you if someone is online or not - or create you own if you can script.

Regardless of whatever reason I might unfriend someone, if I do so, I'm sure not going to later claim it was a mistake and re-friend them, just to avoid hurt feelings or anger on their part.  If I unfriend someone, there obviously was a good reason in my mind, thus the unfriending will remain.

 

I've had a few folks unfriend me over the years.  Since I'm not a very communicating type person inworld, I can totally understand it.  It has never happened with anyone that I actually talk to a lot, so I've never worried about it.

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3 hours ago, Fionalein said:

I did it with annoying folks? Wanna hear why people do it?

I am talking about well established, daily relationship? About people poofing for no aparent reason?

Edited by GuyJee
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6 minutes ago, GuyJee said:

I am talking about well established, daily relationship? About people poofing for no aparent reason?

yes it's "normal" behaviour, not only in SL but at all virtual and social platforms

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Most relationships are never completely equal. One person usually values the friendship more than the other. Never been ghosted or ghosted someone.

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On 10/27/2018 at 3:57 AM, GuyJee said:

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

 

Perplexity, then sadness in proportion to how good the friendship, then I move on.

I don’t think much about the “why”, though. If they won’t tell me, and actually mute me just so I won’t ask, I’m very much disinclined to even want to know.

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On 10/27/2018 at 2:57 AM, GuyJee said:

You got along well with someone, suddenly he/she stops replying, ignores you, or blocks you from everywhere.

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

That's happened a couple of times when a friend has got close to someone and is all wrapped up in them.  Neither of them explained or apologised.  One of them came up to breathe eventually and called me, the other went on to turn completely from being a friend to an enemy.  I feel less friendly to the first since she's still not talking much and it's obvious I was just handy to have around, but the second I'll never forgive.

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Yep, I've experienced this. It can happen a lot in SL for many reasons. Usually it is because the person is not willing to discuss the reason(s) why they are poofing. They may be just the non confrontational type or they are hiding the reason. 

It hurts, yes, to have that person in your SL life then boom they are gone. Sometimes they come back with some lame or an actual valid reason. Sometimes you never find out why they disappeared. It sucks but we need to grieve and move on. 

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Happened a few times to me, too.
When i really called it a friendship i couldnt just be quiet, sometimes. First i tried to understand why this was happening at all, and then i wrote them a notecard saying something like "I think i disappointed you, because you wanted A, but i just was in for B. So, i need to accept you want to move on. Im going to miss you. Take care."

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I think it probably has happened to everyone in SL but that does not make it any easier for you.  I try to focus on the fun times we had in world and not the quick exit without an explanation.  Some friends that i know now will (i think) tell me if they are leaving SL.   We have shared stories of friends disappearing so we know that doing that to each other would be mean.  We really try and keep SL supportive and caring with each other?

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Yup, I've been ghosted a few times. And unfriend those fools who did it.

If you cannot be honest about why you are avoiding me then you're better off not being on my list of contacts.

I'm too old to play childish games. No one should have put up with that.

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On 10/27/2018 at 3:10 PM, Phorumities said:

I rarely IM anyone first, so I don't know if they are ignoring me.

I really wish there were still 6 check boxes beside  people's names, so I could see who was hiding from me. Hiding? Unfriended :)

On the other side though, I had one of my best friends IM me and ask why I was hiding my online status from her. Since i never hide from anyone I told her I had no idea. But looking at her name, the show online status box was unchecked. I told her it was a glitch and checked the box again.

I never hide from anyone, however I do unfriend annoying people. If I'm lucky, they won't notice for months. When they ask I say it was a mistake, apologize profusely and re add them.

 

I think this is a shame, especially as you mention, SL can glitch sometimes.

I will show offline when I really need to be in SL, but am unable to talk with people, it isn't me hiding (after nearly 12 years here i'm well aware you can't hide), it's me saying 'pls treat me as if I were offline'. Yes, I know I can use an autoresponse, but I have the urge to read and respond to IMs & would also be driven nuts by the constant pings as they come in. Communication here can affect RL very badly, so if I need to be alone, then yes i'll set myself offline.

Luckily my friends all know and have no issue with it, it's not often I do it anyway. I guess I just wanted to point out that 'hiding' isn't the only reason, and people don't suddenly stop being friends because they wish to be treated as offline for a while

As for ghosting, i've had this happen once. I know she split up with her SL/RL guy, and so SL lost it's appeal, so suspect she just was so upset she left. I guess i'll never know

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I tend to think that most people try to avoid conflict, and sometimes it's just easier to walk away. Sometimes an unfriending isn't indicative of "I don't want to speak to you ever again."

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Well people vanish they can't do the job for the relationship/Friendship/Business or they have insecurities or don't want to hurt the person feelings they are not ready for that kind of thing or they have a lot of fears they think someone else will fill in the gap for you. These people are still trying to find them self's it happens in Real and Sl Just understand it not your fault they have their own things to take care of. The new ghosting is now Benching  something you have to be careful of also they lead you on you know hear what you want to hear but never go out in public or take you out or only in private and vanish and come back. This why friendship or anything is earned not given out like candy Don't go by words go by effect.  If they are hiding something and the some thing comes up in conversation they vanish then you kinda relies the truth use your gut feeling it will tell you. You don't have to friend everyone you talk to you give them your calling card from your inventory if you don't wanna deal with collectors then they vanish cause something came up or they may not feel they don't fit in there are more people out there. People come and true ones stay my list is very small. 

Edited by Dreamerra
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On 10/26/2018 at 6:57 PM, GuyJee said:

You got along well with someone, suddenly he/she stops replying, ignores you, or blocks you from everywhere.

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

Never had that happen but I can tell you this, if someone were to do that to me for no reason or without explanation I would just blow it off and be thankful that person is no longer in my life. The kind of people who do such things are not the kind of people I want as a friend. Life is too short.

Edited by Selene Gregoire
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On 10/27/2018 at 12:57 PM, GuyJee said:

You got along well with someone, suddenly he/she stops replying, ignores you, or blocks you from everywhere.

How was your reaction? What do you think about that?

I'd be the type to over-think it. It'd be more courteous if they had just let you know what was going on instead of just disappearing on you. Not that it's an excuse, but some people are no good at being confrontational or they just can't be bothered to deal with the situation so they take the easy way out and ignore instead.

You may never know why they did it.. but what you can do is try to stop caring about it, move on and make other friends. Time heals all wounds. Plus, any type of relationship should be a two way street. If it ever becomes one way, even if that person hasn't ghosted you, it would probably be a good idea to move on anyway.

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