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̶W̶H̶O̶ ̶W̶I̶L̶L̶ ̶A̶W̶A̶R̶D̶ ̶M̶E̶ ̶M̶Y̶ ̶2̶̶̶0̶̶̶0̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶ ̶3̶0̶0̶T̶H̶ ̶R̶E̶P̶U̶T̶A̶T̶I̶O̶N̶ ̶P̶O̶I̶N̶T̶?̶?̶ I WANT TO THANK ALL THE LITTLE PEOPLE . . .


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@Madelaine McMasters

You're not intimidating as far as I know. You may be in RL, I don't know, but it's hard to be intimidating here in the forum. It's just that I've noticed through the years how you frequently put yourself across as being very knowlegeable/brainy/that sort of thing, which you may well be, but I don't think it's good to shove in people's faces. This time it was pretty blatant to the point of being conceited/arrogant, so I decided to mention it.

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I prefer discussing/debating various points of view (ideas), not attacking them. Attacking them can only deteriorate into badness. I don't know where the idea of attacking ideas came from but it's a bad idea. Attacking anything can only be bad.

Edited by Phil Deakins
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Phil, when I run into someone that brags a bit my first thought is that they might not be having a good day and so a 'good brag' makes them feel better.
Or maybe their parents valued certain characteristics in them and so emphasizing those boosts their ego a bit.
I don't always think they're just trying to say they are better than me, and so feel offended.

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9 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Phil, when I run into someone that brags a bit my first thought is that they might not be having a good day and so a 'good brag' makes them feel better.
Or maybe their parents valued certain characteristics in them and so emphasizing those boosts their ego a bit.
I don't always think they're just trying to say they are better than me, and so feel offended.

No matter the reason, don’t have to be obligated to “call someone out” or “knock them down a notch” over every little thing. Agree?

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5 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

No matter the reason, don’t have to be obligated to “call someone out” or “knock them down a notch” over every little thing. Agree?

I agree. This didn't do that though ;)

ETA: In all the years I've seen it, this is the only time I've posted anything about it, so it doesn't qualify as "over every little thing".

Edited by Phil Deakins
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7 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

Heck, I've never felt offended by any of it from anyone, or taken it personally in any way. I might (only might) if I thought I was better, but I'm not lol. I just don't think it's good to keep doing it, that's all.

I agree it would feel off-putting to me if somebody did it a lot...but I would always take into account a bigger picture of the person too...and what their bragging might mean for them..

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6 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:
17 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Phil, when I run into someone that brags a bit my first thought is that they might not be having a good day and so a 'good brag' makes them feel better.
Or maybe their parents valued certain characteristics in them and so emphasizing those boosts their ego a bit.
I don't always think they're just trying to say they are better than me, and so feel offended.

No matter the reason, don’t have to be obligated to “call someone out” or “knock them down a notch” over every little thing. Agree?

True, if somebody does that they're probably bugged about deeper things regarding that person, or maybe it has to do with their past. I've noticed about myself that the things which bug me the most about another are often the things I don't like about myself! :)

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It's funny, we (as humans) can become angry at another when we think they like us just for our looks, money, smarts (or insert any quality here). Yet on another level we very much want them to like us for those qualities! lol

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37 minutes ago, Qie Niangao said:

It's heartening that Maddy has finally forsworn false modesty, so there may be hope for us all.

As she's pointed out many times, it's not exactly false modesty. It's a conversational tactic and one that can be seen (and used) as either a defensive maneuver or an assault preparation. In Maddy's case it can also just be a way to keep an interesting conversation going, and in that respect it is something a lot of knowledgeable people learn to do. As for conceit: I wouldn't call it that although I can see Phil's point. It's just that she really does know how smart she is and she's not usually bashful about it. Most people tolerate it because she's so cute.

Even if she doesn't really forswear the tactic I do think there's still hope for us all, especially if we can count on an occasional intervention from Snugs.

Edited by Dillon Levenque
resolving ambiguity
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1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I don't find you intimidating so much as...

  • Sharp
  • Quick
  • Funny.  No, make that, "hilarious"
  • Insightful
  • Challenging

And, dang it, I did the math and my Z is only 0.642 to your 0.780.  (Phil is 0.228.  /me titters!)

You commented on a post of mine earlier in the thread, saying you'd agreed with me, but that Scylla had said it first, and better. True on both counts. Though I have liked every post on this thread, I particularly liked that you called it as you saw it. It's nice that you don't find me intimidating. I try to make me worth the effort. I'm not always successful.

51 minutes ago, Qie Niangao said:

It's heartening that Maddy has finally forsworn false modesty, so there may be hope for us all.

Finally? I have said that my self deprecating sense of humor is a defense mechanism.

When I was a teen, I became aware of the Mensa organization, and wanted to join it. I had the necessary qualifications, as did both Mom and Dad. Dad demurred, saying "IQ is only a small part of the equation." He also refused to tell me what his IQ was (I've since learned it) stating "If I told you what it was, you'd wonder why I haven't been more successful. I don't need that." I now share his understanding.

I enjoy deep dives with people who share my curiosity, if not my beliefs. I like having my mind changed by a compelling argument. Yet I go through most days quite happy without that, enjoying the company of those people who carry themselves through life far differently than I do. I try to make them smile, because they make me smile, and do it effortlessly. For them it's a talent, for me it's a skill. And, as you can see, I've got room for improvement. I always will.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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2 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I don't find you intimidating so much as...

  • Sharp
  • Quick
  • Funny.  No, make that, "hilarious"
  • Insightful
  • Challenging

And, dang it, I did the math and my Z is only 0.642 to your 0.780.  (Phil is 0.228.  /me titters!)

You commented on a post of mine earlier in the thread, saying you'd agreed with me, but that Scylla had said it first, and better. True on both counts. Though I have liked every post on this thread, I particularly liked yours for calling it as you saw it. You've never been shy about doing that.

I'm happy you don't find me intimidating. I try to make me worth the effort.

Now I have to read back and discover what this "Z" thing is, because... math!

ETA: You're right... 0.78. But, more importantly, it's falling. Look out Phil, Lindal and I are coming your way!

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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2 hours ago, Dillon Levenque said:

As she's pointed out many times, it's not exactly false modesty. It's a conversational tactic and one that can be seen (and used) as either a defensive maneuver or an assault preparation. In Maddy's case it can also just be a way to keep an interesting conversation going, and in that respect it is something a lot of knowledgeable people learn to do. As for conceit: I wouldn't call it that although I can see Phil's point. It's just that she really does know how smart she is and she's not usually bashful about it. Most people tolerate it because she's so cute.

Even if she doesn't really forswear the tactic I do think there's still hope for us all, especially if we can count on an occasional intervention from Snugs.

I have pointed it out many times, and I use self deprecation for all the reasons you've described. When I wanted to join Mensa, it was clear everyone in the family would meet the requirements. Yet Dad demurred, saying "IQ is just a tiny part of the equation." He also refused to divulge his IQ. "If I told you, you'd wonder why I haven't been more successful. I don't need that." I now share his understanding.

ETA: I won't fix this repetitious post. I apparently got lost in copying and pasting.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Well yes yes. Fiiiiine.

I don't really do mornings, though.

ta ta!

I don't do mornings either. Which is why my interview isn't until this afternoon. Being in the PNW does have the advantage of afternoons being later than most everyone else's. :PxD

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1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Finally? I have said that my self deprecating sense of humor is a defense mechanism.

When I was a teen, I became aware of the Mensa organization, and wanted to join it. I had the necessary qualifications, as did both Mom and Dad. Dad demurred, saying "IQ is only a small part of the equation." He also refused to tell me what his IQ was (I've since learned it) stating "If I told you what it was, you'd wonder why I haven't been more successful. I don't need that." I now share his understanding.

I enjoy deep dives with people who share my curiosity, if not my beliefs. I like having my mind changed challenged by a compelling argument. Yet I go through most days quite happy without that, enjoying the company of those people who carry themselves through life far differently than I do. I try to make them smile, because they make me smile, and do it effortlessly. For them it's a talent, for me it's a skill. And, as you can see, I've got room for improvement. I always will.

The bolded parts. So much the bolded parts.

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