Forum Self-Censorship from Criticism

[Luna Bliss]

So really, what helps one cope with criticism on a forum is the same in RL...

[Luna Bliss]

Love, have you ever felt such criticism in RL that you self-censored a lot?

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

Love, have you ever felt such criticism in RL that you self-censored a lot?

Oh, the stories I could tell!

[Luna Bliss]

Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Love, have you ever felt such criticism in RL that you self-censored a lot?

Oh, the stories I could tell!

Yeah probably a dumb question...everyone has been oppressed...sadly..

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yeah probably a dumb question...everyone has been oppressed...sadly..

Mostly for saying “inappropriate” things.

[Phil Deakins]

21 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I find lately, that after getting “corrected” by other Forum users (my term: “slapped down”) for posting on other’s threads - perhaps playfully, perhaps askance the topic - I find myself policing my own posts!

Now: this is not like me at all. Not sure if I am afraid of moderation, seeking positive feedback, or what. But I’m used to being an independent voice.

Does anyone else have this experience or any advice?

I can only say what I see. There are a few people in the forum who seem to delight in nastiness. Not bad nastiness though, because they wouldn't get away with it. It's just little nastinesses. Before you started this thread, I was chatting with someone about it in the last few days. I included you in those few people, but with the proviso that you are sort in an in-betweener, in that you appear all over the place, sometimes poking little nastinesses here and there, whilst at the same time, you frequently write some very helpful posts. So I'm a bit undecided about you. The person I was chatting with thinks that you target me personally, with little pokes that try to push my buttons and wind me up, and that might be true.

You wrote that you're not sure if you're looking for positive feedback, but, in case you are, I can assure you that poking people as you do can only get positive feedback from people who approve of that sort of little nastiness. Of course, some people want to be like that type of person, and you may be one of them, but, if you are, you can only expect positive feedback from others like that. You can't expect positive feedback from good-hearted people unless they haven't noticed that side of you.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Phil Deakins

[KanryDrago]

16 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

I can only say what I see. There are a few people in the forum who seem to delight in nastiness. Not bad nastiness though, because they wouldn't get away with it. It's just little nastinesses. Before you started this thread, I was chatting with someone about it in the last few days. I included you in those few people, but with the proviso that you are sort in an in-betweener, in that you appear all over the place, sometimes poking little nastinesses here and there, whilst at the same time, you frequently write some very helpful posts. So I'm a bit undecided about you. The person I was chatting with thinks that you target me personally, with little pokes that try to push my buttons and wind me up, and that might be true.

You wrote that you're not sure if you're looking for positive feedback, but, in case you are, I can assure you that poking people as you do can only get positive feedback from people who approve of that sort of little nastiness. Of course, some people want to be like that type of person, and you may be one of them, but, if you are, you can only expect positive feedback from others like that. You can't expect positive feedback from good-hearted people unless they haven't noticed that side of you.

I often argue with you Phil, its not out of personal animosity merely I do so when I feel you are wrong. Just in case you thought it was personal

[Phil Deakins]

There is a big difference between posting a different point of view and the sort of little nastinesses that I mean. If, before posting the different point of view (disagreeing with me), you'd taken the time to laugh at my serious post, then you'd just be being nasty. That particular form of nastiness seems to be spreading. It's one of Love's methods.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Phil Deakins

[KanryDrago]

2 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

There is a big difference between posting a different point of view and the sort of little nastinesses that I mean. If, before posting the different point of view (disagreeing with me), you'd taken the time to laugh at my serious post, then you'd just be being nasty. That particular form of nastiness seems to be spreading. It's one of Love's methods.

Phil I was merely saying as I know we have clashed a time or two

[Love Zhaoying]

Don’t forget, I have a pretty thick skin. I would enjoy debating with a certain someone until he would break down and call me names. So..my feelings aren’t hurt, I just don’t have to read abusive posts if I don’t care to. It’s all good!

[Blush Bravin]

Isn't having a filter the same thing as self-censoring? That's a good thing isn't it? I've always thought that using a filter shows signs of maturity. So filtering your comments based on your audience is using wisdom isn't it? 

[Callum Meriman]

2 minutes ago, Blush Bravin said:

Isn't having a filter the same thing as self-censoring?

It's a good point Blush! I'd forgotten about filters.

[Love Zhaoying]

19 minutes ago, Blush Bravin said:

Isn't having a filter the same thing as self-censoring? That's a good thing isn't it? I've always thought that using a filter shows signs of maturity. So filtering your comments based on your audience is using wisdom isn't it? 

Yes..but, until you know, you don’t know that your audience is umm..”sensitive”.

[Luna Bliss]

 

[Luna Bliss]

Green brownies for all!!!!!!

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

 

My “screen name” on AOL was CominOut for years!!

[Luna Bliss]

Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

My “screen name” on AOL was CominOut for years!!

Really?

[Love Zhaoying]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

Really?

Yes..

[Luna Bliss]

[Luna Bliss]

4 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

There are a few people in the forum who seem to delight in nastiness.

Phil, you were talking about a thread where Love and a couple others were ganging up on you. If you remember, I defended you as I did not see you taunting them. Yet I understood their frustration from past threads, and it made sense why they thought you might be taunting them.

Anyway, I have never seen Love behave like this on other threads, and so for you to generalize this to his behavior everywhere is an error. I understand why you were upset from that thread, but to come into this one where people are making judgments about Love and add to this bizarre evaluation of his behavior...….well it's just not fair.

[Luna Bliss]

4 hours ago, Pamela Galli said:

5 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Sometimes it’s obvious that no matter what you do, some people will never be happy.

 

Then why don’t you try doing what Kristen said to do yesterday and take politics and religion to some other venue?. It’s not that hard. Really.

Once again, she said nothing about religion. And has Love been discussing politics a lot? I haven't seen it.

Neither Love nor I want to start talking about religion a lot. I've posted 2 songs lately for christs sake....one to help Love and another was just a silly joke -- getting it in 'before the lock'....when I thought religion might not be allowed since someone else brought this up as something that should be banned....it was a playful joke.

But once again, she made no reference to religion. Do you want to start another 'Force A Linden To Make A Rule' thread over religion now?  I suggest stepping back a bit, getting a grip, and not trying to control everyone so much (and that includes on the threads you start and think you own).

Edited October 12, 2018 by Luna Bliss

[LittleMe Jewell]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

3 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

And you needed to come out and say this because????

And now you are calling names simply because you don't like what they had to say.  How does that fit in with your previous preaching about being nice on the forums?

LittleOne, <snip>

Tis "LittleMe", not LittleOne

That alone tells me much

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Tis "LittleMe", not LittleOne

That alone tells me much

What does it tell you? Do I have any input on the matter?

[Luna Bliss]

I really wouldn't have minded if you corrected me by informing me of my mistake, and I would have apologized.

But to say "that alone tells me much"...that's pretty creepy...

[LittleMe Jewell]

6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

What does it tell you? Do I have any input on the matter?

 

3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I really wouldn't have minded if you corrected me by informing me of my mistake, and I would have apologized.

But to say "that alone tells me much"...that's pretty creepy...

 

You were replying to a quote with the name right there but you didn't bother to proof read your post enough to ensure you were addressing me correctly - or intentionally addressing me incorrectly as a slight jab because I dared to say something against your posts.   I see it as a lack of respect.  My personal opinion.