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3 hours ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

I know it's hopeless, but I wish more people were honest and upfront about what significance they give sexual and romantic activity in SL, both with themselves and with prospective partners.

 

unless the persons profile says they are available and open to the possibility that a RL relationship could grow from a SL relationship, they should assume any kind of relationship with that person is and will be forever more restricted to SL only

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That's often added to profiles as a polite way of saying "no I will not voice sex you, nor will you get real life pics off me, stop asking for all this info you creep". RL/SL separation isn't a b

I know it's hopeless, but I wish more people were honest and upfront about what significance they give sexual and romantic activity in SL, both with themselves and with prospective partners.  

I don't want to sound rude...but this doesn't sound like you understand what roleplay is or have some things completely mixed up, which would suprise me, judgeing by the fact that your account must be

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On 9/30/2018 at 8:51 PM, crissy Carolina said:

I am trying to find out thoughts and feelings of others in the community about lying during RP. Is it okay? Normal? Expected? etc. As a general rule and a matter of conscience and character I believe in 100% honesty in my RL. But does SL count the same way? For example, if a character in SL tells me "i love you", do I say it back simply because I know thats what they want to hear, or do I only say it if I in fact love them? If immediately after SL sex, someone asks me, "did you ***** in RL", and I didn't,  do I say yes, because thats what they want to hear? I would just like some feedback on how others handle situations like this and possible ways to deal with them in the future.

I'm not gonna touch on the whole RP thing since so many have already talked about it..

But I do see where you're coming from with the whole lying thing, I get really annoyed when someone I've spoken to a few times and maybe hooked up says I love you, I just ignore it tbh lol I only have a few people in SL I will say that too and that's a couple of my siblings that have been apart of my SLife for almost 8yrs. We talk on the phone and if one of us takes a break we all still stay in contact on our other games. As for the "Did you **** in RL" I just say yes lol, yeah sure, It was so good I need to go have a smoke now ?

A couple people spoke about the whole RL/SL Separate, which I feel I do, but mainly, I'm not going to voice w you, during sex or during normal time and I ain't sending you no pictures of myself or giving you my RL facebook or my RL name, other than that i'll talk about work or general stuff like that but I only mic with family and only one of my siblings has my RL FB, i think they all have my instagram though lol ?‍♂️

I mean if you don't want to lie, then don't. I usually don't unless it's to get out of a situation I really don't want to be in or it's sex cause I know they'll be happy thinking I got off when really I'm laying in my bed patting my cat w my boyfriend on his computer next to me living his best SLife

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4 hours ago, Seth Saeed said:

I'm not gonna touch on the whole RP thing since so many have already talked about it..

But I do see where you're coming from with the whole lying thing, I get really annoyed when someone I've spoken to a few times and maybe hooked up says I love you, I just ignore it tbh lol I only have a few people in SL I will say that too and that's a couple of my siblings that have been apart of my SLife for almost 8yrs. We talk on the phone and if one of us takes a break we all still stay in contact on our other games. As for the "Did you **** in RL" I just say yes lol, yeah sure, It was so good I need to go have a smoke now ?

A couple people spoke about the whole RL/SL Separate, which I feel I do, but mainly, I'm not going to voice w you, during sex or during normal time and I ain't sending you no pictures of myself or giving you my RL facebook or my RL name, other than that i'll talk about work or general stuff like that but I only mic with family and only one of my siblings has my RL FB, i think they all have my instagram though lol ?‍♂️

I mean if you don't want to lie, then don't. I usually don't unless it's to get out of a situation I really don't want to be in or it's sex cause I know they'll be happy thinking I got off when really I'm laying in my bed patting my cat w my boyfriend on his computer next to me living his best SLife

Personally I start to lose interest when the guy says, "so what do you look like"?

You are looking right at me you moron, you tell me what I look like.

Oh you mean in RL?

Well... I tried long and hard, but I managed to make my avi the exact image of my RL body.

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? ?Time and place for it but truly its how far you want to take it with that person both ways in that mode in between role play and outside of it.  Communication  in that trust of role play how far you want to share with that person as of them and agreeing on things and limits. I mean its virtual world you make it what you want you create that happiness get in the mood of role play visualization the right energy and connection. But it up to you and those who you role play with some things don't have to go so far what you agree on if you want it to be real or role play like a movie a good actor has to play a role then when its done they go back to there normal life.  Everyone may have their own option but you may have to open more doors. Know one is perfect its what is in the mind and the soul how you carry it value others and yourself be positive but have boundaries. But role play is  made up so its a fairy tale  but you make it as real as you want it.  But unless others want to open more of their real that is up to them some things maybe but not everyone is going to dish it all out trust is earned not just given. Be what you want to be its Halloween.? ?

 

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To me, SL is a fantasy. I could adopt any SL character and an RL persona to go with it, but for me and my alts I am almost always pretty close to being the same person every time, just variations in appearance as the avatars have individually developed over time.

In terms of lying, I'd prefer to say it's a case of not telling the truth. However, all my answers, my style, my persona and my opinions remain within my avatar's character.

So am I lying? - No. because I am the person within SL I chose to be. Even questions relating to RL are always answered the same, as RL is an extension of my SL character in the fact I can, again, be who I chose to be with my RL persona.

I find it extremely easy to play these characters within SL and my RL extension from within SL because I like them and and I like playing them, my RL stories always remain consistent. I've even made notes on a few specifics (dates etc.) in case someone who's spoken to me has a good memory or has kept the conversations and decides to check.

How can I lie when I am playing my character? - Not possible.

When it comes to matters of the heart people lose track of what is real within this online fantasy land, which is SL. Leave your true RL the heck out of it, unless you're so naive that you believe everything people ever tell you.

Yes, there have been examples of people meeting in RL who first met on SL, but they re a minuscule percentage of players. Second Life is not a dating website.

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22 minutes ago, Candice LittleBoots said:

To me, SL is a fantasy.

~Point up to the quoted statement~ This is the very first item listed in the Second Life ingredients, which means it is the foremost ingredient and everything that comes after it is a minor, lesser addition to it to add flavor.

You can be truthful and you can be honest. Being honest does not mean you don't lie. Being truthful means you don't lie. The real difference is honesty means you tell more, frankly, bluntly, etc. Being truthful is not lying just because you omit some information.

As to the OP scenario specifically: if I responded to such questions with only a simple :) - does that mean I'm lying? It is up to you to choose which information you share and by how much. Therefore, if you feel the urge to lie about anything, perhaps it's better to just not respond with words or if the situation requires it, then use tact to phrase it in a way that is more ambiguous.

They're going to read it the way they want to read it anyway. That happens all the time here in the forums. ~snickers~

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Asking about lying in RP is the same as asking about lying in the movies. Why are all these people lying in all movies ever made? They're not really in love! They're not really killing each other! Why all the lies? If you've watched Galaxy Quest there is a scene about this.

When you log into Second Life you are stepping onto a stage and you don't stop acting until you log out. If someone chooses to not perform and to live a truthful real life on that stage they are in the wrong. They don't have any right to judge or call the actors liars.

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I've done very little RP, and to be honest, the little bit of RP I've participated in was in World of Warcraft and not in SL. But as far as I understand RP it is acting and basically writing a script as you go. How can any of that be lying? I think the significance is whether what you are participating in is actually RP or is it just taking part in a community with SL residents going about their everyday SL? And then there's the viewpoint that SL is separate from RL, which in itself doesn't require RP but it also doesn't require an individual to disclose anything that is going on in RL whether during your encounter or otherwise. Personally, while I am me both in RL and SL, so you might get to know my personality and what makes me tick, but I'm not going to disclose any of my RL info to most people in SL. So again, not disclosing isn't lying IMO. It's just keeping the two separate. 

Then you get into a whole other situation if you decide to mix RL with SL, and in that case I think it must be something that is agreed upon by all involved. But then it's not really SL anymore as far as I see it. Once you step over that boundary it's RL. Only then does lying become an issue. 

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Some types of RP have out of character discussion about what's going on. Might I gently suggest that this is appropriate for sexual and relationship 'RP' as well?

Honesty in this doesn't mean a full RL bio unless that's wanted, but enough to know that all involved are on the same page.

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5 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

Asking about lying in RP is the same as asking about lying in the movies. Why are all these people lying in all movies ever made? They're not really in love! They're not really killing each other! Why all the lies? If you've watched Galaxy Quest there is a scene about this.

When you log into Second Life you are stepping onto a stage and you don't stop acting until you log out. If someone chooses to not perform and to live a truthful real life on that stage they are in the wrong. They don't have any right to judge or call the actors liars.

Movies are lies? Next, you’ll tell me that my parents lied to me about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Boogeyman. Ohhhh I get it, they were role playing!

????

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18 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

When you log into Second Life you are stepping onto a stage and you don't stop acting until you log out. If someone chooses to not perform and to live a truthful real life on that stage they are in the wrong. They don't have any right to judge or call the actors liars.

I agree fully with these bolded parts. There's an awful lot of people (almost entirely men in my experience; obvious bias as I don't get hit on by anywhere near as many women) who think that they are being "truthful", when in reality they are acting out what they perceive themselves to be. It's still an act, and yet they will insist that everyone around them be "honest" or be outed as a liar. 

Exhibit A is the "voice verification or you're a man" crowd, although that's usually also the result of paranoid homophobia; but there's plenty more that think a/s/l is an appropriate way to start a conversation. And while this is a sweeping generalisation, they are usually low-effort system avatars that see SL as the 3D lovechild of Facebook and Ok Cupid. And sure I guess, they can approach SL like that if they want; but as you said, they don't have any right to judge or call the actors liars.

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6 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

These days, “ASL” stands for American Sign Language. Anyone who still asks for a/s/l on the Interwebs is either really old (and never grew out of it), or really immature, or lives in a culture where such things are still “important”.

Fully agree; I was paraphrasing, they usually stretch it out over a couple of questions so they can pretend to be classy gentlemen :P

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Just now, AyelaNewLife said:

Fully agree; I was paraphrasing, they usually stretch it out over a couple of questions so they can pretend to be classy gentlemen :P

“Might I inquire as to your gender? It doesn’t really matter to me. Just so you know, I’m a huge Trans ally.” 

That’s how I would do it. 

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21 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

When you log into Second Life you are stepping onto a stage and you don't stop acting until you log out. 

Exactly, this is the meaning behind those words under my name in the forums.

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On 10/3/2018 at 4:33 PM, Bree Giffen said:

When you log into Second Life you are stepping onto a stage and you don't stop acting until you log out. If someone chooses to not perform and to live a truthful real life on that stage they are in the wrong. They don't have any right to judge or call the actors liars.

Are you honestly saying you believe I'm "in the wrong" because I don't act inworld?

I really hope I'm misunderstanding something here. My avatar is currently running around in full pirate regalia with an octopus on her head but the conversations I have are as much of myself as my health allows on the day. There's no acting.

If anyone's offended by that, maybe you should just block me or something because I don't have the creativity or stamina to live my SL differently these days.

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