Jump to content
Respectful1lady

vanilla relationship

Recommended Posts

53 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Not to get up in your business but, if it's a new term to you, perhaps some further reading may be advised before you jump into it. There are of course variations to the Daddy Dom/Babygirl model, but I think a lot of people will expect immature, bratty behavior from your part if that's the parameter you seek by. At least in my experience of Babygirls/Little Girls is that they tend to be obnoxiously attention-seeking both towards their partner and to whomever is around them. Whilst this doesn't include 'all' of them, it's often the norm. Business (clothiers) catering to babygirls also often tend to offer juvenile fashion 'with a twist', a lot of pink, a lot of unicorns and sparkles. Whilst I don't know you, it seems pretty far off from the 'lady seeking a gentleman' in your earlier thread. 

   But that's just my experience, it's not a lifestyle I'm personally interested in or have spent a lot of time researching. When people describe themselves as a brat on their profile, I just avoid them - too much drama.

Not necessarily. I have yet to accept a brat as a sub. There are Bg that are not brats, just as there are subs that are brats. I have seen more princess, brat, bitchy subs than i care to think of. Most of which were not Bg. The sheer number of "You arent MY dom so piss off" attitudes in the BD/sm scene in SL astounds me. Most seem to think respect is something that they only give their Dom/Domme. 

I am one of the non princess seeking Daddy Doms. I don't want a little. I have teens of my own and really don't have the patience for it a third time. I would prefer someone that is an adult and wants to spend time doing adult things rather than coloring or acting as a child. Brats make my head hurt. Most of them dont ever turn it off. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes Vanilla has nothing to do with it but those that choose not  to live it not 24/7 more like time and place and soft D/s people go to the lines taken in hand 1950s lifestyle and D/s meaning they may only do things as soft and sensual not really all in the kinks list. Yes its complicated. As I said time and place you know you live your normal life during the day vanilla then when you get home you can be the D/s vixen everyone lives it different. People that are really in to it D/s are more hardcore. I give advice advice in real and live it many people have diffren't titles you don't have to go by labels you live how you want it. 

Edited by Dreamerra
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Respectful1lady said:

Dreamerra,  thank you for your words, what you describe is exactly what I am looking for . Again thank you 

Yes vanilla means plain more as missionary style but those that choose not to live 24/7 as why I said time and place your lady by day and vixen by night live your life normal during the day and when you come home your D/s style. It may be soft sensual D/s not so hard BDSM.

 

Edited by Dreamerra
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Orwar said:

   Not to get up in your business but, if it's a new term to you, perhaps some further reading may be advised before you jump into it. There are of course variations to the Daddy Dom/Babygirl model, but I think a lot of people will expect immature, bratty behavior from your part if that's the parameter you seek by. At least in my experience of Babygirls/Little Girls is that they tend to be obnoxiously attention-seeking both towards their partner and to whomever is around them. Whilst this doesn't include 'all' of them, it's often the norm. Business (clothiers) catering to babygirls also often tend to offer juvenile fashion 'with a twist', a lot of pink, a lot of unicorns and sparkles. Whilst I don't know you, it seems pretty far off from the 'lady seeking a gentleman' in your earlier thread. 

   But that's just my experience, it's not a lifestyle I'm personally interested in or have spent a lot of time researching. When people describe themselves as a brat on their profile, I just avoid them - too much drama.

Bolded the part I wanted to touch on. I am a baby girl in a DaddyDom/bbg relationship and I can assure you I am not bratty or obnoxious toward my daddy or anyone else. If I were you can bet I'd definitely be disciplined. Yes I have seen some really bratty and obnoxious girls but in my opinion they are just RP'ing what they perceive a baby girl should be. Sometimes, if I am tired, I can be a bit of a brat and I'm quickly reminded that baby girls do NOT act like that.  Just my thoughts and opinion. Carry on, everyone!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Orwar,

  thank you for explaining more about a daddy dom /sub , I am not at all a silly little girl type, I am a lady, as you can see if you look at my picture I am not a child

oh my seeking perhaps what I do not know ,,,, yes I am a classy lady with the earnest need to be cared about and also to care of someone with tender affections

 

I am not sure where I fit in, perhaps I am a hopeless romantic at heart. Willing to please the right man, meaning to make him happy and yet be happy myself.

I do love a gentleman, one that treats his lady well, and in return I would adore him and be faithful only to him. I am old fashioned that way, just want to be with 

the one I care about not many. Thank you for your words, You are most kind 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Respectful1lady

i think you are looking for a tango relationship

tango relationship is pretty much the same as tango dance. Man leads/steps forward in the tango because positive male energy. Woman yields/steps back because positive female energy

in tango is not a dominant or submissive per se. Is just a man who leads positively and a woman who yields positively. When the man is not leading positively, is hesitant or undecided, or the woman is not yielding positively, is dismissive or inattentive, then is not tango. Is something else
   

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, anniepany said:

If I were you can bet I'd definitely be disciplined.

   This tends to be the apparent cause for brats to misbehave. Being disciplined equals attention and aftercare, after all. Again, I try to be clear that whilst I generalize based on empirical conclusion, I don't consider it absolute truth that applies to everyone; I've met several well-behaved Bg's as well.

6 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Not necessarily. I have yet to accept a brat as a sub. There are Bg that are not brats, just as there are subs that are brats. I have seen more princess, brat, bitchy subs than i care to think of. Most of which were not Bg. The sheer number of "You arent MY dom so piss off" attitudes in the BD/sm scene in SL astounds me. Most seem to think respect is something that they only give their Dom/Domme. 

I am one of the non princess seeking Daddy Doms. I don't want a little. I have teens of my own and really don't have the patience for it a third time. I would prefer someone that is an adult and wants to spend time doing adult things rather than coloring or acting as a child. Brats make my head hurt. Most of them dont ever turn it off. 

   Well, I do instruct my subs not to care whether another person claims to be a dom/me or not in their interactions with them. They're to be respectful of everyone, until a transgression is made. The sheer number of wannadom/mes who don't respect the boundaries of others relationships is equally astounding to me, and the amount of times some guy has tried to get one of my subs to 'stray' with them saying 'he's not here, he won't find out'; my subs tell me before they even tell them off, whether I'm there or not. It happens fairly regularly. Unfortunately, not all BDSM communities become the sort of place where people can go to relax without fear of being judged for their lifestyle choices and socialize with like-minded people - just like so many other places in SL they often become zones of predatory behaviour and drama. 

   However, I also make it clear to them that causing drama and seeking conflict is not okay. If someone gets pissy about not being called 'Sir', which I find silly and immature to begin with, they can refer them to me - and I'll personally tell them how silly and immature they are.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, ellestones said:

tango relationship is pretty much the same as tango dance. Man leads/steps forward in the tango because positive male energy. Woman yields/steps back because positive female energy

Hmm.. perhaps add foxtrot, and start with whiskey.

  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Hmm.. perhaps add foxtrot, and start with whiskey.

is a man who lives on our sim who has a whiskey relationship. His relationship is so good he can do the foxtrot without even standing up :D

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, ellestones said:

is a man who lives on our sim who has a whiskey relationship. His relationship is so good he can do the foxtrot without even standing up :D

Horizontal Bop!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My after reading all these I find most interesting the different viewpoints and experiences 

Seems I have been missing out ,,,,,?

 

Edited by Respectful1lady
to change a few words

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Respectful1lady said:

My after reading all these I find most interesting the different viewpoints and experiences 

Seems I have been missing out ,,,,,?

 

You don't need a label on it.  I would just advise you to do a lot of reading and research and you will find what clicks with you.  For sure I cross into many different labels but I found the man that fits me without even looking.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Orwar said:

This tends to be the apparent cause for brats to misbehave. Being disciplined equals attention and aftercare, after all.

I do agree with this statement as I have seen this happen, and when asked why they do what they do, they simply say "Because I wanted to be spanked" which says a whole lot about the person. To me they are simply after the kink of being spanked and not the whole experience that can come with being a bbg. In my opinion it's just the roleplay which gives us true bbg's a bad name. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, anniepany said:

I do agree with this statement as I have seen this happen, and when asked why they do what they do, they simply say "Because I wanted to be spanked" which says a whole lot about the person. To me they are simply after the kink of being spanked and not the whole experience that can come with being a bbg. In my opinion it's just the roleplay which gives us true bbg's a bad name. 

There are different levels of submission, none of them wrong. One could argue that so-called self-proclaimed "true" babygirls give the rest a bad name, no? There is no right or wrong in it, only different flavors of the same thing at varying degrees of saturation. As for the degrees of submission, the "babygirl" is just shy of the midway point, not too deep and not too shallow. As for "vanilla", a.k.a. "downtime": Even DD/bg relationship are 75% "vanilla" the way I've always seen it.

Edited by Alyona Su

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Alyona Su said:

There are different levels of submission, none of them wrong. One could argue that so-called self-proclaimed "true" babygirls give the rest a bad name, no? There is no right or wrong in it, only different flavors of the same thing at varying degrees of saturation. As for the degrees of submission, the "babygirl" is just shy of the midway point, not too deep and not too shallow. As for "vanilla", a.k.a. "downtime": Even DD/bg relationship are 75% "vanilla" the way I've always seen it.

Notice i said "In My Opinion" and in many cases that I've seen they are doing nothing but Roleplaying. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/21/2018 at 2:34 PM, Respectful1lady said:

Are there any true vanilla dom/sub relationships in SL. Where there is tenderness, caring, not all control and being dominated?

I would love to know if this exists . Plus, no crude bondage items . Suppose it may be unreal to even think this exist.

Yes, it exists.  Every relationship I have ever had in SL has been like this.  Being a little subbie to a strong alpha male is how I am in RL and I brought it to SL with me.  I've tried other guys, but I always run back to this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, anniepany said:

when asked why they do what they do, they simply say "Because I wanted to be spanked" which says a whole lot about the person. To me they are simply after the kink of being spanked

To me at least, the lack of any physical contact in the SL relationship means that it takes an exaggerated virtual contact to give the experience any emotion. I can enjoy experiences in SL, which if they happened in RL would have me calling 911, and filing abuse charges. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/21/2018 at 1:34 PM, Respectful1lady said:

Are there any true vanilla dom/sub relationships in SL. Where there is tenderness, caring, not all control and being dominated?

I wouldn't call my relationship with Clover vanilla ... maybe more Neapolitan.  I enjoy the duality of most things so tenderness and caring is joined with slapping and spitting.  We haven't had the chances to scene RL or SL for a while but I always plan Aftercare like I do for the scene. Not only can it take more time but it is beautiful and something I do not want to miss savoring every little morsel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/22/2018 at 3:28 PM, Orwar said:

some no-life nerd who can afford to spend 18 hours a day sitting in their dirty underwear pushing on, fueled by Jolt Cola and snacks.

You said you weren't going to mention that!?!?!?!?!!?   ?  and my underwear is clean, thank you very much. lol

Edited by Catrie
  • Haha 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/21/2018 at 8:34 PM, Respectful1lady said:

Are there any true vanilla dom/sub relationships in SL. Where there is tenderness, caring, not all control and being dominated?

I would love to know if this exists . Plus, no crude bondage items . Suppose it may be unreal to even think this exist.

yes, they do - so how´s your progress going? ;) HAve you met anybody? Tell us, tell us we´re curious :P

On 9/22/2018 at 12:05 AM, Sukubia Scarmon said:

I kinda don't really get why it's called vanilla and why it's somehow inferior to other flavours. 

As for the question whether or not something like op wants exists: It certainly does, I'm sure. Whatever someone can imagine, it'll exists. I think your terminology may just a bit off. :) 
It sounds like you're looking for an oldschool relationship with a a few sprinkles of kink! I'd suggest you just jump into the dating pool and when a potential partner comes along, just talk to them about it. Tell 'em you like certain aspects of BDSM, like the leashes for example, but you're not into the whole package - no big deal! :D

I know why I referred to myself as dark-vanilla with raw cocoa nibs in it^^

On 9/22/2018 at 12:52 AM, Dreamerra said:

I will put it this way for you. Yes there is a time and place for it you can still have vanilla side and D/s time. I live a 1950s lifestyle taken in hand with D's in real you have to also live your life as well as there time for D/s and vanilla. When your looking for long term or looking for a mentor yes you start vanilla like as dating and build in to it but you will all way's as your normal like and D/s. Really it whatever you make it. BDSM is built with trust and bond like marriage where you are open you find your wants needs desire. •Dominance is not about control over a submissive. Dominance is about leading and the submissive following. These words have been said thousands of times by thousands of people. I have been in the lifestyle 17 years I did go real with my Dom in the path lasted 3 years on my main we meet in sl then meet in real I travel back and forth. Love has to build that two people are on the same page. BDSM is really not all about sex its more then that. Physical attraction are common. But a genuine mental connection is rare. Intimacy is about trust making an emotional connection many confuse it with nudity don't. Sensual Dom's and Sensual Sub's are soft romantic kind that is some what vanilla with D/s. But the thing is you have to be really open have mind set to D/s  this means being upfront both ways people don't have to tell everyone but when you find the one when they earn your trust and heart both ways. Someone will want to get to know you take you on dates get in your mind not your pants. Even being human in D/s ether someone is sub,Master , slave people have to be treated equally and treated with respect. BDSM is not about pain its about trust. If you do not feel conferrable about something speak up having a mind is good and someone that can understand you learn you protect and guide not abuse. He looks at her as though she's the only women in the room. He protects her as if she's the world most valued treasures. He respects her because to hurt her would hurt him that much. Don't train your submissive, teach and empower them! It's not just about sex. Don't get me wrong Sex is  great. But when you have connection with someone. When you feel so strong for someone. Just a kiss is a enough to make your knees weak. You just can't beat that.

Sex is truly not everything romance and passion but intestacy not all sex Hold hands. Not mindlessly, but really hold your partner’s hand. Be forever grateful to be able to intertwine your fingers with theirs, skin against skin… feeling the heat that your hands create together… feeling the powerful intimacy created from one simple gesture..

Gotta have connection with communication and romance even in relationship. If its all sex its a two way street you have to date someone like you first meet them and spice it up.

Their so many words to say it. 

The leaders Job isn't to have all the idea's it's to make sure all the idea's are heard and that the best one wins. -Chris Hawker
She doesn't crave vanilla love she craves to be touched with Intent Intensity,Ingenuity, And Indecency.( meaning time and place for everything.)

Protect,Her Guide Her, Respect her, Grow her, take care of her, treasure her, lead her, be the man she needs she will be the women you want.

beautifully written!

On 9/22/2018 at 3:28 PM, Drake1 Nightfire said:

No spankings ever? Every relationship has a bit of it in there at some point.

 

EVERY Relationship? Every single one? Any type of relationship? Is that so *grins* Well if that´s the case... *chuckles

On 9/22/2018 at 7:54 PM, Love Zhaoying said:

I’ll take chocolate.

 

On 9/22/2018 at 8:28 PM, Madelaine McMasters said:

With nuts.

this isn´t make a wish you two nutcases :P You get what´s served and that´s vanilla :P

On 9/22/2018 at 10:28 PM, Orwar said:

  usually some no-life nerd who can afford to spend 18 hours a day sitting in their dirty underwear pushing on, fueled by Jolt Cola and snacks.

1

but they do have at least one life then - the life of their char^^

On 9/23/2018 at 4:39 AM, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Brats make my head hurt. Most of them dont ever turn it off. 

1

but... ok I´d be waaaaay too lazy but I´ve been referred to as a brat (by some idiot  XD)

On 9/23/2018 at 8:58 AM, ellestones said:

@Respectful1lady

i think you are looking for a tango relationship

tango relationship is pretty much the same as tango dance. Man leads/steps forward in the tango because positive male energy. Woman yields/steps back because positive female energy

in tango is not a dominant or submissive per se. Is just a man who leads positively and a woman who yields positively. When the man is not leading positively, is hesitant or undecided, or the woman is not yielding positively, is dismissive or inattentive, then is not tango. Is something else
   

tango - new term for me, interesting though^^

23 hours ago, Respectful1lady said:

My after reading all these I find most interesting the different viewpoints and experiences 

Seems I have been missing out ,,,,,?

 

ohh you have no idea^^ Grab some tea and start exploring :)

19 minutes ago, Catrie said:

You said you weren't going to mention that!?!?!?!?!!?   ?  and my underwear is clean, thank you very much. lol

you should know him by now ;) 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
49 minutes ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

you should know him by now ;) 

You would think so, wouldn't you?  ? How can you truly know the full extent of a man, though?  I just share my chocolate with him, and I don't share my chocolate with just anyone.  lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Catrie said:

You would think so, wouldn't you?  ? How can you truly know the full extent of a man, though?  I just share my chocolate with him, and I don't share my chocolate with just anyone.  lol

ohhh the volumes your statement speak dearest Catrie....I´m blushing XD

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

ohhh the volumes your statement speak dearest Catrie....I´m blushing XD

I didn't mean it THAT way...exactly.  I meant like actual chocolate. You know...um.. yeah..now I'm blushing too. >.<

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...