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Forum becoming more negative?


Annabell Wandsworth
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Just now, Rya Nitely said:

But anyway I'll try not to joke anymore ?

Daww, humour and having fun is important, both for oneself's mental health and as an icebreaker. Sometimes they fall flat (quite often in fact) but when they work it's worth it! Don't give up on that.

FWIW I would have said it "No blanket for you... 10 years!! :P" and to any complaints just gone pffft

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1 hour ago, Rya Nitely said:

very unsuccessful attempt at making jokes

Well, although I got out the 'joke interpretations be gone' spray bottle, I have to comment :)

I thought your joke was verrry funny -- a little slap and something funny @ the same time -- which is a good way for a joke to diffuse tension.

No warm blankets for you! 

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1 hour ago, Rya Nitely said:

Some people are carefully scanning my posts for anything they can be use to pull me up. And yes, the emphasis on the words 'proud' and 'born with' were aimed at a certain post in another thread. I'm definitely not the only one who does that, and it's being done to me all the time and nobody cares. People knew what the emphasis referred to, so there was no need to mention names. I made an example of how wrong that post was.

It is not a matter of carefully scanning for things to use against you.  It is a matter of calling out people when they are being hypocrites.  Your dig about 'proud' was nothing more than passive aggression, which directly conflicts with everything you posted previously.  Or are you only against overt aggression in posts?  And once again, you try to justify things by saying "I'm not the only one and it's been done to me".  I don't care how sensitive you might be - it is still not okay to try justifying behavior by throwing out the 'somebody else did it' card.  Being polite in the forums does not mean that we have to tolerate that type of behavior without pointing it out.

ETA: Though based on your comment about blocking people, you will likely never see this post and thus not ever understand why I called you out to begin with.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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9 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:
10 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

lol I have yet to read them….I guess I should do that!

Yes you should!!!

RTFM didn't enter the world's lexicon for no reason. I didn't read the ToS, Community Standards, and Community Participation Guidelines until looooooong after I joined the forums and saw others being pulled over for breaking the law. As it turns out, most of the laws are common sense and I was in little danger of breaking them. I think you're similarly safe.

I can't look down on someone for not doing what I'm not doing, unless they show no remorse when corrected. That's when they become tempting targets and I start biting my lip.

lol I can't STAND to read directions...that's why I never express anger when a customer doesn't read mine...though I have to say, on impatient days I am sometimes thinking... 'would u pleaaaaase just RTFM!'  :)

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23 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Rya it is painfully obvious that fora in general simply aren't for you.

Not meant to be a dig, not at all. Some are quite simply too sensitive to be exposed to the general populace.

I find the sop in here is for people to bait someone they don't like, hoping to get them to respond in a heated manner, then report the post to the mods.

 

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2 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

It is not a matter of carefully scanning for things to use against you.  It is a matter of calling out people when they are being hypocrites.  Your dig about 'proud' was nothing more than passive aggression, which directly conflicts with everything you posted previously.  Or are you only against overt aggression in posts?  And once again, you try to justify things by saying "I'm not the only one and it's been done to me".  I don't care how sensitive you might be - it is still not okay to try justifying behavior by throwing out the 'somebody else did it' card.  Being polite in the forums does not mean that we have to tolerate that type of behavior without pointing it out.

LittleMe, respectfully, I think you are misreading Rya's sense of humor. He has a very playful almost hyperbolic sense of humor, and diffuses aggression via his style of joking. Don't try to make him into how you would joke, or insult his jokes please.

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9 hours ago, Roxy Couturier said:

Congratulations you macho, macho man. You aren't a very good human being. Those are the best words I have for you. The rest are unprintable on this forum.

Roxy, I just don't think we would ever be able to get along, so if you don't quit messaging me I'll have to block you.

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9 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:
10 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

So we are trained or socialized as children to fit into our overarching social structure (patriarchy), and this creates our psychological makeup, and hence can affect our behavior on the forum.

Yep, though I was raised in a makeriarchy (you are what you make) and have little patience for other social structures.

That's really cool, to have such an inspiring upbringing. That reminds me I need to do my mediation, clear those ruts that social brainwashing imposes on us from early on..

BTW...noticed you mentioned getting rid of the social constructs that kept you in your marriage...I'm curious if u don't mind...what caused you to get out of those ruts...?

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4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

LittleMe, respectfully, I think you are misreading Rya's sense of humor. He has a very playful almost hyperbolic sense of humor, and diffuses aggression via his style of joking. Don't try to make him into how you would joke, or insult his jokes please.

I never posted anything about his humor and that part of his post was never something that I ever commented on.  I am talking about his passive aggressive comments, which are in direct conflict with the concept of posting "nicely".

Reread his words below - the part I bolded - where he admits that he did intentionally put emphasis on a set of words specifically aimed at that previous argument.  That is not humor, but poking the bear, trying to dredge up that argument again.

1 hour ago, Rya Nitely said:

Me too. 

And I started my very unsuccessful attempt at making jokes because I was just starting to feel more comfortable and accepted here, now there is that familiar feeling of - just let go, don't come back.

In all my years here, I have never felt a need to block so many people until just now. In fact I had a completely empty block list, and now I have 5. Well, I guess that was the advice right at the start - I didn't think I would need to actually use it.

Some people are carefully scanning my posts for anything they can be use to pull me up. And yes, the emphasis on the words 'proud' and 'born with' were aimed at a certain post in another thread. I'm definitely not the only one who does that, and it's being done to me all the time and nobody cares. People knew what the emphasis referred to, so there was no need to mention names. I made an example of how wrong that post was.

Now comes the very hard job of not coming back, see how long I last. And yes, I imagine a few people will go YAY.

 

And constantly throwing out "but someone else did it first" is also not misunderstood humor.  That is nothing more a childish method of trying to justify something.

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3 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

And constantly throwing out "but someone else did it first" is also not misunderstood humor.  That is nothing more a childish method of trying to justify something.

I took it to mean that he was describing a process between himself and Ethan, not justifying his actions....he was trying to explain the process that lead to the joke..

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1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

I took it to mean that he was describing a process between himself and Ethan, not justifying his actions....he was trying to explain the process that lead to the joke..

 

You honestly took the below (bolded part) to not be him justifying why he was being mean back?

9 hours ago, Rya Nitely said:

 

Yes, I have noticed that jokes are often taken seriously. But It sort of takes away the humour if you need to explain that it's a joke. Like the angry face, well it wouldn't be the soup nazi with a smiley face. And Ethan did keep insisting he didn't want a warm blanket, and he was being mean to me first with my other attempt at a joke about Dakota saying ' And we are done' like she did in the other forum where people started to argue, and that was my other failed attempt at joking, because he took it so seriously and you did too. But anyway I'll try not to joke anymore ?

 

And you do not see this (bolded part) as him justifying why he posted something specifically poking at a previous argument?

1 hour ago, Rya Nitely said:

Me too. 

And I started my very unsuccessful attempt at making jokes because I was just starting to feel more comfortable and accepted here, now there is that familiar feeling of - just let go, don't come back.

In all my years here, I have never felt a need to block so many people until just now. In fact I had a completely empty block list, and now I have 5. Well, I guess that was the advice right at the start - I didn't think I would need to actually use it.

Some people are carefully scanning my posts for anything they can be use to pull me up. And yes, the emphasis on the words 'proud' and 'born with' were aimed at a certain post in another thread. I'm definitely not the only one who does that, and it's being done to me all the time and nobody cares. People knew what the emphasis referred to, so there was no need to mention names. I made an example of how wrong that post was.

Now comes the very hard job of not coming back, see how long I last. And yes, I imagine a few people will go YAY.

 

If those statements are read within the full context of the paragraph surrounding them, they are nothing more than a justification for why he posted what he did.

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Littleme, what in the world would be wrong with referencing another argument from a few days ago?

Goodgod I have someone on this thread referencing squabbles from 6 years ago! lol

And that makes it okay?  

Intentionally referencing a recent argument in that way is nothing more than flaming/trolling -- specifically trying to get the argument going again.

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Just now, Phorumities said:
10 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yes, but the law protects all types of social injustice...

Can you define what you mean by "social justice"?

I'm more curious to know what you mean by "social injustice". 

Well you are the one who originally brought up this topic, and these terms, so I think you should start it off..

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Just now, LittleMe Jewell said:

And that makes it okay?  

Intentionally referencing a recent argument in that way is nothing more than flaming/trolling -- specifically trying to get the argument going again.

I'm not sure what the statute of limitations is on this...I guess you have it all figured out?

And who says what he did by bringing it up again was "nothing more than flaming/trolling"?  Maybe he's trying to process something still...like he doesn't have it all figured out yet.

But what if he did it in this case to get an argument going again? I can't count how many have done this, so not sure why you pick on him and not others..

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3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well you are the one who originally brought up this topic, and these terms, so I think you should start it off..

no thank you, i'll pass, I know what it means, and you know what it means, if you wish to share with the others, be my guest

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35 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Roxy, I just don't think we would ever be able to get along, so if you don't quit messaging me I'll have to block you.

Dude, I haven't messaged you. Are you off your meds again?

ETA: You know what? Please do. We both know how long that will last.

Edited by Roxy Couturier
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1 minute ago, Phorumities said:

no thank you, i'll pass, I know what it means, and you know what it means, if you wish to share with the others, be my guest

you don't know what it means, and I don't either.

I spent about 4 hours reading law books about 'justice vs the law', 'justice and the law', 'no law without justice', and 'no justice without law'... and I still can't say I understand fully.

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