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I'm sorry if this has been asked before, I didn't find any posts when I searched. The question is, has anyone here been in a long term, more than mere friends, sl relationship like for 8 to 11 or even more years? Has sl created such strong bonds that it endures and can last a lifetime beyond the existence of this platform? Was it hard to keep it going or was it easy for you? Were there breaks in between? How did you make it last long? What was the circumstances of both parties, if you care to share those too if not that's alright. If it was purely online or if you got to see each other in the physical world. If it ended and why? How did you feel about it? Others with less than the specified number of years can answer too.

The same questions can be applied to sl friendships. I'm asking because the longest sl relationship that I have heard of was 6 years. Mine has gone on for nearly as long as my avatar has been in world, which is three years and nine months. I tend to get attached with the people that I form deep friendships, romantic relationships with, investing a lot of time, care and emotion into them. The idea that it's going to end is rather devastating. This isn't a survey, I'm genuinely interested and hopeful that long term bonds such as friendships, companionship, or romantic relationships in sl do exist.

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I was with my former partner in Second Life, another site before coming here together for almost 4 and half years; he is based in same time zone as SL and I am still based in UK.  We made it last by communicating on Skype, back when Yahoo Messenger was still active and if we both were not going to be in world then regular e-mails. Only ever was online, it ended because his situation in life which mean't no more second life however we still friends almost 8 years on, still send odd e-mail back and forth to each other and we had no breaks in between. My ex partner is married in life albeit not happily so, won't disclose more than that as not my place to say and myself I am single young woman; and he was one of my bestest friends guy wise I made online.

Now onto friendships I have made on this account in almost 5 years of being here; I have 3 people I call my best friends however one I knew before coming here and Holly has been my friend now almost 8 years online as we met elsewhere online and she has stood by me regardless of what has happened plus I try to be good friend and do same for her - we both each other is not perfect however we accept each other as each as we are and we communicate outside of SL to boot using various communication mediums.  

My other two friends; Angel and Akira both I known within a few days of making this account and been friends with both of them almost 5 years - again I call them my best friends; both have stood by me throughout chaotic times in my time online including when aforementioned ex partner left Second Life as I will admit very devastated because wasn't just losing my partner but one of my closest male friends I have had in my life for almost 5 years by that point and both have been there when I was very seriously ill in life with life threatening condition and pulled through - thankfully; both talk to me on mediums outside of Second Life again and both have supported me through various ups and downs in life and virtual life which I try to do same back.

So I have some amazing friends online, but the bonds go far beyond just being online friends as I like to hope one day I get to USA and meet Holly; Akira and Angel as the three of them have been amazing to me so thanks if they see this post. I think I rambled enough as can think of other friends but those 3 are my longest friends I had on here to date.

FYI Seren was born on 28th Sept 2013 to give you idea of time span and met my ex partner in 2011 in another place and Holly in same place in 2010.

 

Edited by MrsSeren
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4 hours ago, MrsSeren said:

I was with my former partner in Second Life, another site before coming here together for almost 4 and half years; he is based in same time zone as SL and I am still based in UK.  We made it last by communicating on Skype, back when Yahoo Messenger was still active and if we both were not going to be in world then regular e-mails. Only ever was online, it ended because his situation in life which mean't no more second life however we still friends almost 8 years on, still send odd e-mail back and forth to each other and we had no breaks in between. My ex partner is married in life albeit not happily so, won't disclose more than that as not my place to say and myself I am single young woman; and he was one of my bestest friends guy wise I made online.

Now onto friendships I have made on this account in almost 5 years of being here; I have 3 people I call my best friends however one I knew before coming here and Holly has been my friend now almost 8 years online as we met elsewhere online and she has stood by me regardless of what has happened plus I try to be good friend and do same for her - we both each other is not perfect however we accept each other as each as we are and we communicate outside of SL to boot using various communication mediums.  

My other two friends; Angel and Akira both I known within a few days of making this account and been friends with both of them almost 5 years - again I call them my best friends; both have stood by me throughout chaotic times in my time online including when aforementioned ex partner left Second Life as I will admit very devastated because wasn't just losing my partner but one of my closest male friends I have had in my life for almost 5 years by that point and both have been there when I was very seriously ill in life with life threatening condition and pulled through - thankfully; both talk to me on mediums outside of Second Life again and both have supported me through various ups and downs in life and virtual life which I try to do same back.

So I have some amazing friends online, but the bonds go far beyond just being online friends as I like to hope one day I get to USA and meet Holly; Akira and Angel as the three of them have been amazing to me so thanks if they see this post. I think I rambled enough as can think of other friends but those 3 are my longest friends I had on here to date.

FYI Seren was born on 28th Sept 2013 to give you idea of time span and met my ex partner in 2011 in another place and Holly in same place in 2010.

 

Thank you. I am very grateful for this reply. It's inspiring to know that there are deep long term sl or online relationships that exist, be it friendship or romantic ones. Knowing that yours endured for as long as it did and as you say still goes on as friendship, despite of the distance and in spite of it being merely online gives me hope that the time I spend and the emotional investments that I make aren't all going to be futile . It's hopeful to learn that sl relationships doesn't have to be shallow or fleeting as what has been impressed on me by common perception and from what I've seen, heard, and expressed as opinion by others.

I wonder if it's possible to talk about it more with you sometime in world, if that's alright?

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I have some friends I made my first month in SL,  9 years 7 months ago ago and my partner, 9 years 6 months ago on his first day in SL.  My best friend I met over 7 years ago and next year he is flying all the way from OZ  to meet for real. 

My experiences with long lasting friendships are very positive.  Obviously there is a few bad apples but they soon get turfed out the barrel.  I think its worth mentioning too that my friendships are not gender specific either.  There is a childish misconception that if a guy and girl are close friends there is something else going on. 

10 years ago, before SL I used to laugh at online relationships pffft that won't work.  Then I found SL and happily was proved wrong.  

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I have friends I met when I started SL 10 years ago. Several of these friends I am now also in contact with on other social platforms or games. It's really no different from any other friendship - you get out of it what you put into it. It also depends on your definition of friend... My definition is someone to chat to, hang out with and do activities together. So long as your goals align, there is no reason for your friendship to end just because it was formed in SL. 

 

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7 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I have some friends I made my first month in SL,  9 years 7 months ago ago and my partner, 9 years 6 months ago on his first day in SL.  My best friend I met over 7 years ago and next year he is flying all the way from OZ  to meet for real. 

My experiences with long lasting friendships are very positive.  Obviously there is a few bad apples but they soon get turfed out the barrel.  I think its worth mentioning too that my friendships are not gender specific either.  There is a childish misconception that if a guy and girl are close friends there is something else going on. 

10 years ago, before SL I used to laugh at online relationships pffft that won't work.  Then I found SL and happily was proved wrong.  

Thank you for taking the time to share your uplifting experience with me, it means a lot to me right now.

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5 hours ago, Akane Nacht said:

I have friends I met when I started SL 10 years ago. Several of these friends I am now also in contact with on other social platforms or games. It's really no different from any other friendship - you get out of it what you put into it. It also depends on your definition of friend... My definition is someone to chat to, hang out with and do activities together. So long as your goals align, there is no reason for your friendship to end just because it was formed in SL. 

 

Wow! Ten years is amazing. I hope yours and those with existing friendships and relationships like this continue to go on for years to come, even for as long as one's lifetime. I hope mine will too. Thank you for replying to this topic and sharing your experience with me.

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I was not sure whether to add this since Clover and I knew each other in 1st Life before joining SL but then we only get alone time in SL any more :(

Anyway ... Clover and I have been partnered since the day these accounts were created.  It will be 10 years on December 21 this year.  Longer, actually but then again we don't use the old accounts. 

 

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9 hours ago, AstraHunt said:

Thank you. I am very grateful for this reply. It's inspiring to know that there are deep long term sl or online relationships that exist, be it friendship or romantic ones. Knowing that yours endured for as long as it did and as you say still goes on as friendship, despite of the distance and in spite of it being merely online gives me hope that the time I spend and the emotional investments that I make aren't all going to be futile . It's hopeful to learn that sl relationships doesn't have to be shallow or fleeting as what has been impressed on me by common perception and from what I've seen, heard, and expressed as opinion by others.

I wonder if it's possible to talk about it more with you sometime in world, if that's alright?

More than welcome to talk to me in world and it is very much possible - just always important to keep communication open whether in SL or outside of SL!!

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1 hour ago, MrsSeren said:

More than welcome to talk to me in world and it is very much possible - just always important to keep communication open whether in SL or outside of SL!!

Hi MrsSeren, thank you

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When I came to SL on my original avatar in late 2005, I met my partner soon afterwards in the old Amazon Nations (Freelon & Themiskyra).

Fast-forwarding to the present day, we have shifted avatars but have remained constantly together since then, despite being International, dealing with  RL illnesses, employment changes, pending retirement, the bumps of our children growing-up and RL drama. 

I have probably had more one-on-one conversation with my Partner than any other human being in my 5+ decades of living and despite being poster-girls for “opposites attract” - we are still doing the same old thing in the same old places ?

Skye is very much the reason I keep logging on after all these years ?

Honestly, when I was dealing with the consequences of a brain-injury (before things got much better with therapy)  - she may well be the reason I’m still alive.

Edited by AmandaKeen
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Yes. My partner and I have been partnered since 2012, and have met up in RL a few times. I won't go into that bit much more as I did on another post already. 

As far as friendships, I have an RP daughter who has been our daughter for nearly 5 years at this point, and I couldn't imagine my SL (or life) without her. She lives near Spain. Another friendship is a dear friend who I fully consider my soul sister whom I have known for nearly 10 years, and although she doesn't log into SL much anymore, we are friends on our RL Facebook and text each other often. We're hoping to be able to finally meet up in RL sometime in the next year. I feel closer to these people than people I considered my "friends" who I met through real life activities, so take that as you will. 

For time zone purposes, I have lived in various time zones the US and Japan AND was active duty military for some of the past 10 years. These people have sometimes gone without seeing me for months at a time, and yet I know they will always be just a message away. It's very possible to make lasting relationships in SL. 

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I have several friendships that have lasted well over 6 years, some very close ones for around 9 years without me even having seen their face or knowing their real first name.

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