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MystiSin

Are there many other RL females playing males in SL?

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Posted (edited)

I'll add my two cents here. I've stated elsewhere on the forums that when I first joined SL my account was male. I am in real life a female. So *shock horror!* I was one of those RL women playing a male in SL. At the time, I didn't see any problem with it. At the time, as other posters have said, it was actually rather fun. Liberating, in fact. I know SL is a make-believe world, but I did enjoy the ability to be someone else I could never be and do things I could never do in the real world. SL has been promoted as a world in which players can be and do what they want limited only by their imagination. And then it stopped being fun for me.

Initially I was a role player. My avatar, let's call him "S", was a RP character. He went on dates. Got married. Fathered children, all in RP. And then he started wandering off-sim to non-RP sims or regions, and started getting hit-on by female avatars. In RP it's apparently fine to pretend to be something you're not. When you're not in RP or you're OOC, the general belief seems to be that if you look like a man then you must be a man in RL. "S" had his share of female attention. When these ladies started wanting RL photos and information, things felt weird. I didn't want to be accused of catfishing, but neither did I want to tell them the truth. I felt offended I even had to. Couldn't they just let me have fun? Eventually I confessed and told them that I was female. As I anticipated, the backlash was harsh. "S" was accused of lying (by omission, clearly) though under no time I think is anyone actually under any obligation to answer to anyone anyway. In RP his actions were questioned. How could he/I know what it felt like to be a man when he/I wasn't? OOC people wanted to know the appeal of me playing as a male. I wasn't experiencing SL as a man, but as a female playing a man; those are two very important distinctions. It completely stripped immersion for me, and so I shelved him. "S" no longer participates in RP and I rarely log him on anymore, but I do bring him back on occasion to help test out scripts or animations that I'm working on.

When I first joined SL 8 years ago, the general attitude in SL felt a lot different than it is today. I remember back then asking questions regarding RL and people looked at me strange. Now the opposite is true, or at least it feels that way to me. The fact people even have to question if men are playing as women or women are playing as men, and getting emotional about it, says a lot. And this is a question that just seems to keep rearing its head, so the issue isn't going anyway any time soon. I mean sure, we can be curious, but we don't really need to know. Personally I don't want to know. I don't look at furry avatars and expect them to be furries in RL, just the same as I don't expect every muscle-bound avatar that wants to have virtual sex is a bodybuilder in RL; in short, I don't take any of it on face value. But an awful lot of people in SL seem to.

Edited by RaeLeeH
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2 hours ago, RaeLeeH said:

In RP his actions were questioned. How could he/I know what it felt like to be a man when he/I wasn't?

Those people were idiots, not roleplayers. Because I really hope that a roleplayer would a) be able to read and understand the word Roleplay, and b) understand the single most basic principle of roleplaying. Other than that, I really hope they only played as humans with the same job they have in RL - anything other would be extremly hypocritical. If I were in a bad mood when they sputtered such moronic bs towards me, I'd probably ask them why they play as pretty people in that case. 

In SL, I don't really have experience with using a male avatar. I have a male alt, which exists soley to look pretty for me, and to log into when I, for whatever reason, am unable to log in with Sukubia. My best friend switches genders a lot, although on one avatar, which started out as a male while she herself is female. She usually get's ignored when male, and hit on when female, and that's about it.
The only experience I have with playing as a male, is from roleplay in wow, where I sometimes do play a male character. Good enough to get swarmed with ladies who missunderstand rp with a dating app and get super angry because my guys aren't interested in the low hanging fruits, heh. 

Also, why would anyone be unable to play as the opposite gender. Boogles my mind.

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When I first started playing online games, I never thought about the other person's gender, because it didn't matter and it still doesn't matter to me. I played  World of Warcraft and had a guilty that was a female human Mage named “Krista”. when I went on Ventrilo, “Krista” turned out to be a 40 year old man. he said that if he was going to play video games for 8 plus hours a day, he wanted something cute to look at. I just like playing dress-up too much to play  a male character. lol

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3 hours ago, Catrie said:

if he was going to play video games for 8 plus hours a day, he wanted something cute to look at

Nothing wrong with the "cute to look at" bit, but the eight-hour-a-day bit leaves one to question this person's priorities in life. LOL

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1 hour ago, Alyona Su said:

Nothing wrong with the "cute to look at" bit, but the eight-hour-a-day bit leaves one to question this person's priorities in life. LOL

 

I can't talk, I played just as much as he did if not more per day. I also later worked at the company, so it was like I had two jobs but I was only getting paid for one. 😛

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6 hours ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

The only experience I have with playing as a male, is from roleplay in wow, where I sometimes do play a male character. Good enough to get swarmed with ladies who missunderstand rp with a dating app and get super angry because my guys aren't interested in the low hanging fruits, heh. 

Hey, there were times, where (at least for bloodelves) a male heterosexual character was hard to come by! 🤣

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6 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

Hey, there were times, where (at least for bloodelves) a male heterosexual character was hard to come by! 🤣

 

Dancing like Napoleon Dynamite did not help. lol

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A hint to RL females who want to try roleplaying with a male avatar but think they do not know how to act - find a RL male with a female avatar for a RP partner ;)  And don't try to hide your RL gender, there are guys playing girls that would love to find a girl playing a guy - and he could give you helpful hints!  Example - "you don't have to know everything, just act like you do" ;)

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On 4/16/2019 at 2:14 PM, MystiSin said:

A hint to RL females who want to try roleplaying with a male avatar but think they do not know how to act - find a RL male with a female avatar for a RP partner ;)  And don't try to hide your RL gender, there are guys playing girls that would love to find a girl playing a guy - and he could give you helpful hints!  Example - "you don't have to know everything, just act like you do" 

I couldn't agree more! I had that opportunity one time and would give almost anything for it again. To the outside world we were a M/F couple, even though we were in RL a F/M couple. very liberating for both of us. of all the experiences Ive had in SL, that was the best. We did give each other tips on how to act etc, and our adult activities were very liberating and "safe" because we knew who the other was. We did occasionally switch back to our RL genders however that was rare and it's funny because our RL genders felt odd to us in SL 😱

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I'm  pretty much myself no matter my avi or in RL (though no blue hair in RL... for now!)

However, I have created a male avi in memory of someone, and a male avi for RL my SO... and I use them both occasionally, but i have very few friends on either... none as my SO, except my own alts and one friend he knows b/c it is a pain not being able to see her or have her see me if I'm on. 

The one i created in memory of someone, has a handful of his own 'friends', but deliberately no one close who isn't a friend of my avi already.  Since he's helped a few male newbies, I haven't outed him as an alt b/c I just don't want to go there with newbies, nor do i want to be hit on by anyone either gender. 

I find I act like that person when I wear his avatar and it is a healing experience.  I don't pretend to be a guy to catch girls (or gay men) I mostly interact with a handful of my main avi's friends.  I do find i am treated differently in chats (and for obvious reason I belong to a few groups for things like men's clothing).  Men talk differently to you.  It is interesting to observe, but I don't go out of my way to form any serious relationships (even friendships) with anyone who doesn't know who i am.  But that's just me.  But it's interesting how different i feel when I wear that avatar.  partly b/c I am remembering someone not here anymore (in real life) and partly b/c even in casual conversation, men are treated differently by both genders.  It is an interesting experience.  And yes, I do find myself channeling my late friend's masculine way of speaking and behaving... and it isn't even intentional.  :-)

 

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