harassed verbally by owner of a public spot

[Alyona Su]

42 minutes ago, Ansiri said:

Sandy got it first.

This was interesting thread, need to remember to find rules always and read them first. It's so boring to read them...if on some notecard with waalls of teext. 

Not really if you always err on the safer side. Was I in that situation (and I have been a few times before) - when contacted I always apologize and ask for a moment to comply (though I use an outfit manager so it's easier and faster for me now).

It never hurts to be polite or, at the very least, indifferent or stoic without a word other than acknowledgment then compliance. After all, they had the courtesy to contact her and give the opportunity to correct herself to be in-line with their rules. That's better than the (hopefully rare) ones who eject first and IM later.

I always try to be on my "best behavior" when entering a sim (by any means) that I am not immediately familiar with. Then look around. If there are others there ask yourself "How are they dressed, acting, etc.". because when in Rome....

[Ansiri]

14 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

Not really if you always err on the safer side. Was I in that situation (and I have been a few times before) - when contacted I always apologize and ask for a moment to comply (though I use an outfit manager so it's easier and faster for me now).

It never hurts to be polite or, at the very least, indifferent or stoic without a word other than acknowledgment then compliance. After all, they had the courtesy to contact her and give the opportunity to correct herself to be in-line with their rules. That's better than the (hopefully rare) ones who eject first and IM later.

I always try to be on my "best behavior" when entering a sim (by any means) that I am not immediately familiar with. Then look around. If there are others there ask yourself "How are they dressed, acting, etc.". because when in Rome....

I am on my best behaviour also.

I always go naked everywhere and once landed, start shouting my perversions to all and run around with adult parts in my hands and do all that kind of fun things. It's so fun, isn't SL made for just that? Actually i'm wondering why OP is so surprised and got her first ban only after 12 years, getting banned is normal and daily thing in SL, many times a day.

[ellestones]

sounds like OP was force teleported semi-naked in by their owner

if so and it was my place then I would have banned their owner for doing a force teleport before informing OP to get dressed

[Faie Chrome]

You come here fully knowing you did something wrong? You or your owner teleported you somewhere that is against the rule to be almost naked. I am sure they asked you to change into something more appropriate and by seeing how you react on your profile alone, I am inclined to think you started the verbal abuse in the first place and declined to change. 

Like the person above me stated, your owner should also be to be blame here for teleporting you before letting you know how to get dressed.

[Tari Landar]

I'm sorry (ok, no I'm not really) but "owner" or not...a grown adult knows, or should know, how to appropriately dress anywhere that isn't his/her own parcel. This isn't rocket surgery.

Whether there are rules posted or not, dressing appropriately, which includes covering up your bits, should be common sense for grown adults.

The whole "let me get into a pissing match with the person telling me to get dressed..and then complain that they were mean to me", always gives me a good chuckle.  Maybe if there wasn't so much wind blowing up their nether bits, thinking wouldn't be this difficult. 

 

[ellestones]

@Tari Lander

yes agree about OP not doing what was asked after the fact

force teleport can be a pain when a person with force teleport rights is a dumb head.  OP can take some blame for that also if force teleport was the trigger

can work out how that kinda conversation went:

landowner: Hiyas sweetie! could you get dressed please

subbe: I am subbe

landowner: yes you are dear. But we do require everyone to be dressed here

subbe: Do you not understand. I am subbe

landowner: <click>

me as landowner: <click> Hmm! where is the dumb head who owns I am subbe. Ah! there they are <click>

[Madelaine McMasters]

15 hours ago, Gadget Portal said:

Rats don't just fall out of the sky and start eating us. Something's gotta lead up to it!

 

[Tari Landar]

51 minutes ago, ellestones said:

@Tari Lander

yes agree about OP not doing what was asked after the fact

force teleport can be a pain when a person with force teleport rights is a dumb head.  OP can take some blame for that also if force teleport was the trigger

can work out how that kinda conversation went:

landowner: Hiyas sweetie! could you get dressed please

subbe: I am subbe

landowner: yes you are dear. But we do require everyone to be dressed here

subbe: Do you not understand. I am subbe

landowner: <click>

me as landowner: <click> Hmm! where is the dumb head who owns I am subbe. Ah! there they are <click>

Doesn't matter, common sense dictates grown adults know how to dress themselves appropriately when leaving home...forced tp, not forced, owned, not owned..doesn't matter, lol.

I would no more hold the "owner" responsible for whomever he/she/whatever is bringing to the party dressing appropriately than I would any other guest. 

People have brains, there's not much sense in not using them  

Ftr...I heard all the same things from all the same kinds of angles on my own land... "but I'm a sub(and a few other "labels" people had for themselves", "but I dress how he/she wants me to", "but I can't change my own clothes", "but I didn't tp in to the landing point".....yeah, no, not buying it. You're grown, you make your own decision to not wear panties when wearing a skirt or dress...that's on you, no one else. That's a choice people make..and good on them for making it, but don't be surprised when others don't wanna see your bits and boot ya for it. 

 

[Callum Meriman]

15 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

People have brains,

I used to think that Tari. SL has corrected my view of humanity.

You can't escape the fact that most of the population is on the lower part of the IQ bell curve.

[Pamela Galli]

4 minutes ago, Callum Meriman said:

 

You can't escape the fact that most of the population is on the lower part of the IQ bell curve.

Seems that way because those on the high end don’t come here to report every time someone hurts their feelings. They know it’s not a big deal, happens to everyone, not remarkable just because it happened to them. 

Edited July 17, 2018 by Pamela Galli

[Faie Chrome]

I am with Tari. Even if your owned, you should know better and the sim owner doesn't have to even listen to your reasons or excuses as to why your not dressed appropriately in public. Even in Second Life there is a dress code for good reasons and if you don't want to respect them, expect this to happen more often than not cause we really do not need nor want to see your bits while venturing in world.

[Klytyna]

54 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

forced tp, not forced, owned, not owned..doesn't matter, lol.

It does matter, to a certain extent...

With a forced TP, you literally get NO warning other than whatever the "owner" might say to you before they drag you across the grid.

None.

No friendly "vanilla" popup  saying "dingbat.asshat would like you to join them in Dumbland  - Accept / Deny?"

None, one min you are standing around naked in a dungeon someplace, next you are standing in a kids play area on a g rated sim, and getting AR'd...

No option to refuse the TP, or delay while you slip on some clothing. "Forced TP" means exactly what it says on the tin.

Forced TP by a careless inconsiderate buffoon is a bloody PITA at times, especially if when you arrive you CAN'T observe the dress code because, inventory access / dressing are restricted by that same clueless buffoon of an owner...
 

[Drake1 Nightfire]

17 minutes ago, Faie Chrome said:

I am with Tari. Even if your owned, you should know better and the sim owner doesn't have to even listen to your reasons or excuses as to why your not dressed appropriately in public. Even in Second Life there is a dress code for good reasons and if you don't want to respect them, expect this to happen more often than not cause we really do not need nor want to see your bits while venturing in world.

The only "dress code" put forth by LL is the one in the maturity ratings guidelines.. Sim owners can have any guidelines past those they want. Adult land and full dress required, yes. M land and nudity allowed, yep. Hell, my store is on Adult land, I dont really care what you wear there. ts up to the Sim owner to decide what they want to restrict. 

[Faie Chrome]

I know. I didn't specify that it was by LL either but there's pretty much a dress code everywhere you go within the sim owners policy like in clubs and such.

Edited July 17, 2018 by Faie Chrome

[Paul Hexem]

4 minutes ago, Klytyna said:

It does matter, to a certain extent...

With a forced TP, you literally get NO warning other than whatever the "owner" might say to you before they drag you across the grid.

None.

No friendly "vanilla" popup  saying "dingbat.asshat would like you to join them in Dumbland  - Accept / Deny?"

None, one min you are standing around naked in a dungeon someplace, next you are standing in a kids play area on a g rated sim, and getting AR'd...

No option to refuse the TP, or delay while you slip on some clothing. "Forced TP" means exactly what it says on the tin.

Forced TP by a careless inconsiderate buffoon is a bloody PITA at times, especially if when you arrive you CAN'T observe the dress code because, inventory access / dressing are restricted by that same clueless buffoon of an owner...
 

Yeah, but it's still your fault, you gave the clueless buffoon way too much control over your viewer.

Edited July 17, 2018 by Gadget Portal

[Drake1 Nightfire]

Guys, she said it was a date.. I highly doubt a they gave a date the ability to force TP them.. Actually, if they came here expecting sympathy for a one sided "I did nothing wrong" story i guess they might. But giving the benefit of the doubt, let say it was a regular tp. It really doesnt matter what kind of TP it was. The sim manager said "you are out of the required dress code for this sim, please put on some panties." She decided to flip out and cause a ruckus. 

Just now, Faie Chrome said:

I know. I didn't specify that it was by LL either but there's pretty much a dress code everywhere you go within the sim owners policy like in clubs and such.

No there really isn't.. Most clubs give less then a damn what you are wearing as long as you tip. 

[Faie Chrome]

I dont know which clubs you go but where I go the only one allowed to dress the way she was dressed are the dancers and maybe hosts but definitely not everyone else.

[Tari Landar]

7 minutes ago, Klytyna said:

It does matter, to a certain extent...

With a forced TP, you literally get NO warning other than whatever the "owner" might say to you before they drag you across the grid.

None.

No friendly "vanilla" popup  saying "dingbat.asshat would like you to join them in Dumbland  - Accept / Deny?"

None, one min you are standing around naked in a dungeon someplace, next you are standing in a kids play area on a g rated sim, and getting AR'd...

No option to refuse the TP, or delay while you slip on some clothing. "Forced TP" means exactly what it says on the tin.

Forced TP by a careless inconsiderate buffoon is a bloody PITA at times, especially if when you arrive you CAN'T observe the dress code because, inventory access / dressing are restricted by that same clueless buffoon of an owner...
 

That is 100% on the person that allows another to force TP them at will, or have total control of what they can wear. It's pretty easy to not get yourself in that position. 

It also doesn't change my stance on people needing to use their noggins and dressing appropriately  

[Callum Meriman]

2 minutes ago, Klytyna said:

No option to refuse the TP, or delay while you slip on some clothing. "Forced TP" means exactly what it says on the tin.

Forced TP by a careless inconsiderate buffoon is a bloody PITA at times, especially if when you arrive you CAN'T observe the dress code because, inventory access / dressing are restricted by that same clueless buffoon of an owner...
 

The power given over is why I always ask before tping mine every time. I guess it's one of things that can only be learnt over time like, unleash your sub before you log out, don't stand next to a cliff and yoyo teleport a sub on a leash (boing, boing, boing), and make sure you unlock their cuffs before taking a weeks holiday.

 

But my thought on nakedness after forced Tp is.... even if they are owned by MasterSnuSnu.Resident (7 days old with a blank profile), the sub /can/ hit Ctrl-Alt-H should they find themselves naked, nadu, and leashed in a kid's playground.

[Klytyna]

1 minute ago, Tari Landar said:

That is 100% on the person that allows another to force TP them at will, or have total control of what they can wear. It's pretty easy to not get yourself in that position.

It also doesn't change my stance on people needing to use their noggins and dressing appropriately

Oh don't misunderstand me...

It's just that it's easy to say "you should have put on a dress before Masta Machismo decided to drag you halfway across the grid with no warning that you'd need a dress".

And as for the "you gave the buffoon too much control" thing, well, giving control is kind of what the whole D/s Thing is about. The problem isn't that the sub gave control away, it's that the Dom was not a clued up Dom, but some talentless faux-dom who did something stupid with that control.

That being said... When Masta Dumbass drags your ass into the fire, you do NOT throw back with attitude at the parcel admins, you tp out and get dressed, or if you can't TP out, you politely explain that you haven't got the option because... Masta Dumbass is a dumb ass.

Then you see about revoking the Dumbass's owner rights because if they can't manage something as simple as an IM saying "...you need a dress here, tell me when you have one on so i can force tp you safely..." then Masta Dumbass isn't WORTH subbing to.

I've seen this sort of thing all too often and its usually "I R Masta in RL an natraly dumbinant" types, guys who feel their paranoid over control is more important than anything practical like not getting their sub banned from sims or AR'd right out of SL.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't ban BOTH of their asses from the venue if I was admin there and thy were breaking the rules and giving me attitude into the bargain.
 

[ellestones]

 

1 hour ago, Tari Landar said:

Doesn't matter, common sense dictates grown adults know how to dress themselves appropriately when leaving home...forced tp, not forced, owned, not owned..doesn't matter, lol.

I would no more hold the "owner" responsible for whomever he/she/whatever is bringing to the party dressing appropriately than I would any other guest. 

People have brains, there's not much sense in not using them  

 

 

in the force teleport case where the recipient can't deny the teleport and it just happens, the owner of I am subbe is also accountable. In these events there is also what happens prior to the fact of force teleporting

prior to the fact it is incumbent on the owner to communicate with the subbe to be force teleported. Like an IM: "I want you to come here. Get dressed. Say when you are"

I live on a adult sim. Most of our community is into RLV in one way or another. Out of the 18 permanent sim residents, only 3 of us including me don't have RLV enabled and are just into the lesser restrictions of adult-rated regions. Altho in my case I turn it on when making and testing RLV-enabled stuff that other members want/have on their own parcels

what the subbes here expect is that their owners exercise sound judgment and not put them into compromising situations, both here at home and elsewhere inworld. Our expectation is that we are all grownups capable of exercising sound judgment before precipitating an event. Like you say, use our brains

if this was a force teleport and the owner of I am subbe did not tell I am subbe to get dressed before force teleporting to a venue with a dress code, then we as a community would also hold the owner responsible. Careless, thoughtless and a dumb head. Such a owner would get the hammer from us, for their inaction before the fact. And in this case I am subbe would get the hammer for their action after the fact

[Tari Landar]

4 minutes ago, ellestones said:

 

in the force teleport case where the recipient can't deny the teleport and it just happens, the owner of I am subbe is also accountable. In these events there is also what happens prior to the fact of force teleporting

prior to the fact it is incumbent on the owner to communicate with the subbe to be force teleported. Like an IM: "I want you to come here. Get dressed. Say when you are"

I live on a adult sim. Most of our community is into RLV in one way or another. Out of the 18 permanent sim residents, only 3 of us including me don't have RLV enabled and are just into the lesser restrictions of adult-rated regions. Altho in my case I turn it on when making and testing RLV-enabled stuff that other members want/have on their own parcels

what the subbes here expect is that their owners exercise sound judgment and not put them into compromising situations, both here at home and elsewhere inworld. Our expectation is that we are all grownups capable of exercising sound judgment before precipitating an event. Like you say, use our brains

if this was a force teleport and the owner of I am subbe did not tell I am subbe to get dressed before force teleporting to a venue with a dress code, then we as a community would also hold the owner responsible. Careless, thoughtless and a dumb head. Such a owner would get the hammer from us, for their inaction before the fact. And in this case I am subbe would get the hammer for their action after the fact

If you want to give full control over yourself to someone else, do so responsibly.

I'm most certainly not defending someone that simply forces a tp willy nilly without no regard for the sim, its rules or even the person they are tp-ing. What I am saying is that *I* am not holding that owner of said power-whoever that might be-for the piss poor choices of the person that gave them control in the first place. Not only is the person who is now dressed inappropriately guilty of breaking the location's rules, but that person initiated the entire problem in the first place by having piss poor judgment.  That's not to say I wouldn't boot/ban if necessary both parties, but I still personally prefer to hold individuals responsible for their own actions..not blame it on anyone else. There wouldn't *be* two parties if one of them hadn't chosen to relinquish power. So, yep, still stems from one person's actions. Which is why I don't accept the whole "he/she made me do it" crap line, never have, never will, lol. 

[ellestones]

1 minute ago, Tari Landar said:

If you want to give full control over yourself to someone else, do so responsibly.

yes

[Callum Meriman]

40 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

...but that person initiated the entire problem in the first place by having piss poor judgment...

While I respect your right not appreciate the lifestyle choices those in the D/s community make, I can't agree with this comment as it hits at me on a personal level. I do feel that such blanket statements are unwarranted, incorrect, and unfair.

While allowing a dumbinant as Kly properly terms them to own one's collar is a clear mistake, there are a lot of skilled owners who actually know what they are doing. Giving control of yourself to another person doesn't indicate "piss poor judgement" across the board. There are a hell of a lot of decent and knowledgable Dominants and subs who participate in this life style properly with respect to each other and respect to the greater community. If anything I'd warrant that a properly trained dominant and their skilled sub are more likely to be aware of other people's feelings then the 9 foot tall Mrs Display Name and her Hubby.

And yet, even with the best of us mistakes will happen. Thing with mistakes, own up to them, try to correct the wrong quickly, and be graceful about it, and 9 times out of 10 it's accepted and the world moves on.

[Alyona Su]

Force TP doesn't matter. Only "Mastah" can dress me" doesn't matter. "My inventory is blocked" doesn't matter.

No matter how much control one gives to another and no matter how restrictive RLV can be, no one and no gadget or tool, or RLV has any control over huds, other than locking them in place.

I'm willing to bet a dime to a dollar the OP is wearing a mesh body. Most mesh bodies that I'm aware of have this nifty little feature they call "Alpha". 

If the rules are about "showing genitalia" it's only a couple clicks to turn that genitalia off entirely.

 

Edited July 17, 2018 by Alyona Su