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Any advice on how to move on after being hurt in SL , speaking of a relationship that ended over a month ago, yet i find myself staying out of SL, or when in i don't go to any clubs

just shop, explore alone. i did buy land and two homes ( the land and first home i bought thinking it would be a forever relationship), well things were wonderful until he all of a sudden

left, only a short note that he was leaving SL, took off all his pictures , words , etc.  i found out the next day he had changed his name and has a new SL. ( I don't want to know more )

 

so, i have abandoned the linden land i bought and deleted the house. How do i go on and be happy again? Any advice appreciated

 

Edited by desireu2
removed picture

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2 minutes ago, desireu2 said:

. How do i go on and be happy again?

just that... go on, move on, go out to the places you like... don't hunt for relationships, friends that are worth that will show that in time.

tbh, nice pic but why add that to this question? ... if it's meant to attrackt  a new bf/f it will work better when you'r out of the current misery.

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Thank you for your words. Oh my picture. Sorry not looking for a new boyfriend.  Just to show I am not a wild lady. On my phone or would remove it.Am new to this forum. Excuse my lack of skills on posting. 

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I found the addition of a picture odd too and agree with Alwin.  Take your time, get yourself out and about, pretty much like you would in RL. Up days down days but move forwards

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I have removed that picture,  not use to forums and I do make mistakes it appears. Not looking for a new bf, just to get myself out of this slump and make some friends

I didn't add that in that partnership he had me remove all my old friends. So, am starting over with no friends. I will survive not seeking pity at all , just some advice on

how to get over a SL love, move on and be happy again. 

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Look in your calling cards folder in your inventory. Unless you've deleted them, you have an address book to start getting back in touch with them. Hopefully with a brief apology and explanation, they'll understand.

Anyone who forces someone else to get rid of friends is a manipulative bastard and should be fed to Klytyna. (Alwin isn't grumpy enough by half :) )

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Every relationship requires a little time to grieve when it is over.  Don't push yourself if you don't feel it.

When you are ready to move on. Find some new people to talk with, maybe join a group or two with a common interest.  Just, move on and enjoy your SL.  Only you are responsible for your happiness.  No one knows you like you.  Do what you think is fun and move on.

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5 hours ago, desireu2 said:

  he had me remove all my old friends.

If anyone tries this with you again, keep moving on.

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10 hours ago, desireu2 said:

he had me remove all my old friends

It needs saying a third time, 'cause it's super important. This is a huge warning sign. If anyone ever asks that again, please run as fast as you can. It's a dead certain guarantee the person will cause hurt down the track. In real life these are the actions of person who moves on to spouse-abuse. 

And, although it hurts right now, this is the sort of person you are going to better without.

Give yourself time, explore some of the pretty things in SL, head into Calas Galadhon  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Calas Galadhon/128/128/2 and ride a horse, or just sit and enjoy watching people.

 

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I have a more worse experience than u at least he just left.  Mine ask me to go back to the house and pick up my stuff because his new sl wife cannot return it to me, can't delete the junk.   Anyway been there, what u can do is find a better guy.  U can decorate your place, sl is big he is not the only guy out there.  Lastly, don't take things too seriously.  Many people just regard this as a game.  They play with u like a toy, once they are bored with u.  Just throw u in a bin, to avoid getting hurt again.  Do not ever commit in any sl relationship.  No sex unless is friends with benefits.  If u are not emotionally attached.  U don't get hurt. Just my opinion, I hope I do not offend anyone here.  I know not everyone is a scumbag, but I learned my lesson well.  

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12 hours ago, desireu2 said:

I have removed that picture,  not use to forums and I do make mistakes it appears. Not looking for a new bf, just to get myself out of this slump and make some friends

I didn't add that in that partnership he had me remove all my old friends. So, am starting over with no friends. I will survive not seeking pity at all , just some advice on

how to get over a SL love, move on and be happy again. 

I won't bother with any of his friends too.  He removed u from the friends because he is so Afraid that u will hang on to him like a glue. For me is totally the opposite, I removed myself completely from all the people he knows.  I didn't block then, I want to start new.  Leave my SL home, build a new one.  Look for new friends.  I do not need anything that reminds me of him.  Or even hear anything about him.  

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That now is no longer a problem I am still single as I wish to be for now , perhaps one day ,, but am back in SL again , just wanting nice friends, changed my name and look somewhat, I would never try to see what he is doing now. That is over and I am free of any pain. :)

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On June 11, 2018 at 2:42 PM, desireu2 said:

 

I didn't add that in that partnership he had me remove all my old friends. 

That right there should have been a red flag

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On 6/11/2018 at 3:42 PM, desireu2 said:

 

I didn't add that in that partnership he had me remove all my old friends. So, am starting over with no friends. I will survive not seeking pity at all , just some advice on

how to get over a SL love, move on and be happy again. 

Omg, the minute he told you to get rid of your friends you should have said bye bye loser.

He sounds like he is/was a control freak.

You are so better off without him.

p.s. all your friends calling cards are still in your inventory, contact them, hopefully some will be willing to resume your friendship

Edited by Phorumities
added a p.s.
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27 minutes ago, Phorumities said:

Omg, the minute he told you to get rid of your friends you should have said bye bye loser.

He sounds like he is/was a control freak.

You are so better off without him.

p.s. all your friends calling cards are still in your inventory, contact them, hopefully some will be willing to resume your friendship

I think this is the only time we will ever be in 100% agreement. 

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So many stories like this around SL. I haven't been in something serious for a year now. With good reason. The best advice I can give is to do YOU. Take time to heal and get over it. Don't rush yourself just ride out the storm. Meet new people make new friends and never let someone become priority over them again. If I didn't have my very close friends here I would have little reason to come online so I totally get what you are going through. Friends are very important here as lovers come and go so quickly. A good friendship can last forever <3.

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1 hour ago, desireu2 said:

Thank you, am just going slow now only seeking nice friends , nothing more 

YES! YOU GO, GIRL!

This is what I have resorted to and you know what? It's a lot more FUN! You don't have to be a trollop or strumpet to have fun, make friends and hey, so some of those friends (as in you actually know each other decently, not some bum camping on the hunt) get "benefits", right? And when it's just a booty call or a 'play session' (I know you know what I mean) there is no drama afterward. My favorite is having "cuddle call", I'm open 24/7 for that. well, when I'm in-world, anyway. ~snorts~

This is the best-kept relationship secret of SL, my dear.

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Thanks, really just letting myself enjoy SL ,,,, and not wanting any drama , good friends can last , lovers seem to cause drama and pain, Am into no pain ever again. Smiles:)

 

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31 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

YES! YOU GO, GIRL!

This is what I have resorted to and you know what? It's a lot more FUN! You don't have to be a trollop or strumpet to have fun, make friends and hey, so some of those friends (as in you actually know each other decently, not some bum camping on the hunt) get "benefits", right? And when it's just a booty call or a 'play session' (I know you know what I mean) there is no drama afterward. My favorite is having "cuddle call", I'm open 24/7 for that. well, when I'm in-world, anyway. ~snorts~

This is the best-kept relationship secret of SL, my dear.

Cuddle calls sound like fun!  I am always up for a good movie/game night. Of course if the cuddles turn into more, that works too. 

2 hours ago, desireu2 said:

Thank you, am just going slow now only seeking nice friends , nothing more 

I learned long ago never to fully open my self to someone in SL. Several really bad SL relationships. Not just with myself but with my wife as well. When there are rocky road every relationship travels, the online "perfect partner" looks more and more attractive, even if its just fantasy. I had a SL partner show up at my RL house once. We had traded RL addresses for xmas cards. She had on a winter coat and lingerie. My wife was less than amused. I was less than amused. It was at that moment we both decided that SL stays in SL. As little RL info as possible. 

Now, we both have booty calls, snuggle buddies and friends. All parties involved know they are just that, and we like it that way. 

If anyone wants a snuggle and movie, just hit me up.

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4 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Cuddle calls sound like fun!  I am always up for a good movie/game night. Of course if the cuddles turn into more, that works too. 

I learned long ago never to fully open my self to someone in SL. Several really bad SL relationships. Not just with myself but with my wife as well. When there are rocky road every relationship travels, the online "perfect partner" looks more and more attractive, even if its just fantasy. I had a SL partner show up at my RL house once. We had traded RL addresses for xmas cards. She had on a winter coat and lingerie. My wife was less than amused. I was less than amused. It was at that moment we both decided that SL stays in SL. As little RL info as possible. 

Now, we both have booty calls, snuggle buddies and friends. All parties involved know they are just that, and we like it that way. 

If anyone wants a snuggle and movie, just hit me up.

Yes, yes, all this. And sometimes a cuddle-call can turn into a booty-call under the right circumstances and right person and the best part is no obligations, you know? LOL

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Get yourself a new piece of land. Buy a house and throw yourself into decorating it. For me thats very relaxing and I feel a sense of accomplishment, when I'm finally done with my garden and home. It also helps with feeling not so lost anymore and it gives you time on your own, instead of going to places and instantly deal with people (who may want to flirt) again.

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