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Marut72

Looking to become a master and need a female sub

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I’m pretty conservative in real life and a long time introvert but I’m leaning that as long as you are kind and respectful here there are no limits. 

I’m looking for a woman who wants to be submissive and live out her fantasies. I could wonder around SL trying to get to know people and I intend to do that but I figure I might as will give this forum a chance too. 

My intent is to push them to be themselves and ty new things. I think it would be a lot of fun and it would give me great pleasure in return. I can be stern and demanding  I have a strong intellect and a good vocabulary  

If this interests you at all, I would like to hear from you.

I am also open to any advice anyone might have

Thanks everyone.  It has been a very wonderful experience for me. Everyone is so kind and helpful  a real community  

 

Edited by Marut72
Typo. Changed the heading. Wrote it too fast.

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Marut, without offense, I get the feeling that this path in SL is new to you. If that is the truth, can I please suggest that you will need to put in a lot of effort to master yourself before you can take on the additional responsibility of a submissive.

My suggestion is you don't continue along the path of introversion and passively search for a submissive on the forums, but to head to any number of BDSM regions and start your search there. There is no shortage of people who would be willing to spend time with you.

You will most certainly find any number of wise, experienced submissives who, on a casual basis, can help to develop your own skills and capabilities.

3 hours ago, Marut72 said:

I am also open to any advice anyone might have

When you finally have someone's trust you hold their heart, please treat that gift with the utmost respect.

Outside of that, and again, if you are new to this, I would seriously suggest you get an opencollar, and wear it around your own neck for a few months. You don't need to submit to people, but you should aim to be fully proficient. As an example, know how to undo any restriction that badly scripted furniture might lock you into. The true collar is a bond from the heart, but from experience, you will still have to use the props.

3 hours ago, Marut72 said:

as long as you are kind and respectful here there are no limits. 

That's the phrase that sparked this reply. I know that it's likely clumsy language on your part, but in my eyes this is a well defined word with a very rigid meaning for a dominant. I don't believe it's a word that should ever be used clumsily.

There are limits, they are her limits and quite seriously those limits be they spoken or unspoken are your god, her wellbeing is your god. Your submissive is a real person, with real feelings. Feelings that can be seriously hurt by a bad or clumsy dominant.

 

If you are not new to this, then I am sure you are aware of the number of submissives who have been hurt and broken by clumsy dominants, and you can understand why I said all that.

 

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Hi Callum,

Thank you for this response. You have given me food for thought. I guess I didn’t really consider the deeper implications of what I was asking. 

I am fascinated by the scene and having never really been in it. Thanks for your kind words. There is absolutely no offence taken. You helped me see something I was simply incapable of seeing on my own. 

I think I’ll dabble and chat with people for now. 

I am am very grateful that you spoke.

Thank you. 

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1 hour ago, Callum Meriman said:

That's the phrase that sparked this reply.

Yeah... I almost opened a fresh can of kickass, when I read that...

I've seen WAY too many "Noob Mastas" in SL, who basically decided that since they wear trousers, and once slapped a drunk chick, in the cab of their pickup on the way home from the Roadhouse, for spitting instead of swallowing...

That they are fully prepared to ROLEPLAY being a "Masta" in SL, because they are "natraly dumbinant"!

5 hours ago, Marut72 said:

as long as you are kind and respectful here there are no limits.

Rule 1: Subs drive the scene... There are LIMITS, it doesn't matter how "kind and respectful", if you try to make a sub do something they really hate, loath and despise, they WILL break RLV, remove and reset their gear, use the /runaway command, and leave you, usually with a pile of drama and a lot of badmouthing you for your failings to the other subs...

5 hours ago, Marut72 said:

My intent is to push them to be themselves

Many "Noob Mastas" claim its their "job" to break a subs limits, to "push them"... Many "Noob Mastas" are completely wrong. You're not there to be some sadistic Stalinist Gulag Guard, or some sinister North Korean POW camp brainwasher (except in very specialised niche market sub genres of the SL kink scene). The sub is already trying to "be themselves" by being a sub in SL.

Just because the TYPE of sub they are isn't the TYPE you expected or wanted, doesn't make it your job to bully them into not being themselves.

40 minutes ago, Marut72 said:

I am fascinated by the scene and having never really been in it.

One of the worst Domme/Sub Weekend Drama-fests I ever saw started when a Vanilla Roleplayer, decided to ROLEPLAY being a Domme, based on... WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT...

So she came to our hangout, spotted a sub, new account a couple of weeks old, grabs the public leash and away they go.

Two days later the sub comes back, woeful and angry, because the Domme wasnt't a domme at all, just a clueless ,worthless, para-rp trash vanilla, who had decided that their "character" would be a domme, and that meant ignoring limits, and basically acting like a bloody serial killing sociopath (in RP only of course), and who, wwhen the sub called an ((occ timeout)) and explained that their LIMITSA about no males, no death or mutilation etc, were HARD limits, the RP-Trash simply did not understand that...

Subs in SL are not automatically "roleplayed game characters", that the subs are just "being themselves".

Consensual BDSM is a "game" the game is "I will pretend to make you do what you want to do, and you will pretend to not want me to do that". So the first thing a dominant needs to do is FIND OUT what the sub wants to do and pretends not to want.

BDSM isn't about interrogation camp psychological warfare...

"I R Masta in RL an natraly duminant! U will respect mah trousers or I nail ur nipples to ur knees"

Remember Rule 1.

Subs Drive the Scene


 

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21 hours ago, Marut72 said:

I’m pretty conservative in real life and a long time introvert but I’m leaning that as long as you are kind and respectful here there are no limits. 

I’m looking for a woman who wants to be submissive and live out her fantasies. I could wonder around SL trying to get to know people and I intend to do that but I figure I might as will give this forum a chance too. 

My intent is to push them to be themselves and ty new things. I think it would be a lot of fun and it would give me great pleasure in return. I can be stern and demanding  I have a strong intellect and a good vocabulary  

If this interests you at all, I would like to hear from you.

I am also open to any advice anyone might have

Thanks everyone.  It has been a very wonderful experience for me. Everyone is so kind and helpful  a real community  

 

M, I will go with the consensus and say “look around and talk to some people”.

The BDSM group in SL is not a monolithic entity. You will discover that a variety of behavior is considered “acceptable” in some groups and Unacceptable within others. It generally takes a while to find out where you fit best and what kind of Play suits you.

Complicating this, you will discover that RL regional mores impact this as well, so I would advise some careful conversation with prospective Submissives before engaging much.

SL used to have several schools that specialized in training prospective Dominants and Submissives, which was helpful to new Residents - but fell victim to the Internet Flame-fest as other groups who practiced a different discipline sought to prove they were “right” and essentially ***** them down.

Others have said this; that SL BDSM scening is essentially Submissive-driven. I agree with this wholeheartedly and would advise taking that to heart. I am more a fetishistic Scener than a Lifestyler (I go into a Role to Scene and back to Vanilla for everyday life) - but even at that; it pays to pay attention to what the Submissive needs to get out of the Scene.

”Dominants” who have to “have it their way” and consider Submissives as merely props often do more harm than good.

Personally, I would prefer all Dominants to start off on the Submissive side of the leash - but I consider “Dominant” or “Submissive” as a role to be played and not a hard extension of who people really are. People change over time.

Lifestylers and “True Dominant” believers will disagree with me vehemently.....

....which takes me back to “the BDSM community is not monolithic” :-)

Best of luck. Keep it SS&C :-)

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Edited by AmandaKeen
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2 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

I go into a Role to Scene and back to Vanilla for everyday life

Thank you for writing. I am really glad I posted this because I have discovered that I am not really interested in BDSM per se, but more of the fantasy of it. I think what I am looking for is a woman who wants to role-play a fantasy with me. A scenario that involves being dominant and submissive and the excitement to see how it would play out in the hands of two great minds.

Thanks for writing. I have enjoyed all the feedback. I man glad I discovered SL.

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Hi I'm an active submissive in real life, and looking for some fun in second life too. If anyone would like to be my Dom/partner to hv some fun in this world, i would really welcome it! :D

 

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On 6/1/2018 at 5:04 PM, Marut72 said:

Thank you for writing. I am really glad I posted this because I have discovered that I am not really interested in BDSM per se, but more of the fantasy of it. I think what I am looking for is a woman who wants to role-play a fantasy with me. A scenario that involves being dominant and submissive and the excitement to see how it would play out in the hands of two great minds.

Thanks for writing. I have enjoyed all the feedback. I man glad I discovered SL.

Yep the kind of roleplay u could not really get it good in RL, and kinda wants to make it work in SL.

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