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Marut72

female companion wanted

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Hi everyone,

I am a 45 year old male looking to navigate this new found world with some friends. I'm not looking for anyone exclusive. I'm not looking for anything in particular. I am open to anything that finds me. I guess I'm looking for a woman between the age of 35-50 that would like to go places together. Feedback on my avatar would be great too.

It's my second day here so I thought this might be easier than forcing conversation in game.

Thanks for reading

Marut

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30 minutes ago, Marut72 said:

Hi everyone,

I am a 45 year old male looking to navigate this new found world with some friends. I'm not looking for anyone exclusive. I'm not looking for anything in particular. I am open to anything that finds me. I guess I'm looking for a woman between the age of 35-50 that would like to go places together. Feedback on my avatar would be great too.

It's my second day here so I thought this might be easier than forcing conversation in game.

Thanks for reading

Marut

just a tip...

start with your profile.. it's totally empty

add things you like, groups, interests....and pics

and perhaps add some places you like to visit.

Empty profiles are the worst invitations to start a talk.

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Thanks Alwin. I filled it out. I neglected to do that when I started. Thanks for the reminder. It will help a lot.

 

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Well, it's not all THAT necro a post.  Marut's original post, and its resurrection, gives me an opportunity to comment here on How to Make Friends in Second Life for Newbies.

  • Fill out your in world Profile, as Alwin suggested.  Your profile should contain all the information you want people to know about you...and none of the information that you DON'T want right out there in public.
    • Most people in SL want to remain anonymous.  For that reason, you will seldom see any detailed information in the "First Life" tab of people's Profiles.
    • Because of this desire for anonymity, it's impolite to start quizzing a new acquaintance about their Real Life as soon as you meet them.  A polite way to bring up the subject is to volunteer some information about yourself.  (Hi!  Nice to meet you.  I'm from the United States.")
    • Real Life age doesn't matter all that much in SL.  I have friends who are under 18 in real life, and others who are senior citizens.  And both sorts can look like 20-somethings in SL!
    • Real Life gender doesn't matter all that much either.  Quite a few people in SL use an avatar which doesn't correspond to their RL gender.  Don't limit your friends search to "someone who is female, age 30-55."  You may meet a delightful lady who will eventually prove to be a wonderful friend...and they might be a 250 lb. trucker named Steve in Real Life.  And that doesn't matter two cents, when it comes to being someone whose personality resonates with yours.
    • Don't dismiss nonhumans.  Some people like to be a dragon in SL, or a tiny fairy, or a teddy bear or a horse.  Regardless of their avatar, some of these unconventional folks might be just the friends you're looking for.
      • Note:  These things DO matter to some people.  If you are one of them, you can still make friends in SL, but you'll be working from a more limited pool.  Look for people who have RL info in the First Life profile page.  But on the whole, you might be better off looking for friends on Facebook.
  • Use the Search function to find groups that you're interested in.  There are groups for just about everything in SL.  Every store and every club has its own group, to let people know about events and sales.  There are groups for people who want to meet up with fellow citizens of their RL countries, groups for learning another language, groups for various sorts of roleplaying, or people who are interested in the Tarot, or who simply like to explore SL.  Join a few groups, and then say "hi" in the group chat.
  • Go to places where there are people.  You will probably run into some folks you don't care for, but you can also meet some people who will become very good friends.  Both the Destinations Guide and the "What's Hot Now" page will help you find popular spots with a good chance of meeting folks.
  • Go to "newbie-friendly" places.  You can learn a lot about Second Life at resident-run help areas like New Citizens, Inc. or Caledon Oxbridge University.  Most of these places also have live helpers who can answer your questions about SL, and you can frequently find people who are closer to your own "age" in SL.
  • Use the Forums.  You can meet lots of people right here, without even logging in to Second Life itself.
  • When meeting someone new, DON'T just send them a Friends offer out of the blue.  Most people in SL consider this impolite.  Instead, open up a conversation in Nearby Chat.  If you seem to hit it off well, after a while you can suggest moving the conversation to IM for a little more privacy (especially in a crowded area).  At the end of your conversation, you can ask, "May I add you?"  If they say yes, THEN send your Friends offer.
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4 months is long enough to guarantee that the OP won't be checking the thread for replies, especially with no quote to notify them.

Even so, that's a very good advice post for everyone else reading it.

I would add a couple of things though:

It's always okay to have preferences. There's nothing wrong with preferring to meet people of the opposing gender but of a similar age/maturity to yourself, but it's always good to be open minded. If you start demanding to see some ID before you get past the "hello"s, that's where there's a problem, please don't be that guy.

Likewise I don't think things are as binary as "you are either avatar-blind, or looking to use SL as a RL dating website". Preferences are okay. At the same time, that's not something you have to shove down everyone's throat. Don't put "human only, no weebs or furries" on your profile, it makes you look like a jerk, don't be that guy.

Don't use shop groups as pickup spots, for the love of God. Sure, I've made one or two (female) friends from chatting in a couple of the major brands I shop at; and I've also had several dozen guys who IM me because I spoke up in the group - obviously me trying to sort out an auto-alpha issue means I'm gagging for it ? please don't be that guy.

So yeah in short don't be that guy; don't stalk clothing shops for prey, don't make real life info your second question, don't advertise yourself as a jerk, don't friend request spam, don't act like the creepy uncle everyone pretends to tolerate, just act like a normal human being and you'll be okay.

Edited by AyelaNewLife
I did a typo
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3 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:

4 months is long enough to guarantee that the OP won't be checking the thread for replies, especially with no quote to notify them.

It's not always about answering the OP directly - it's about answering the OP for the benefit of *everyone*, including those who see it long after said reply.  This thread is not a "necro" - if that were the case, half the still-active threads would be "necro". And as for "necro'd" threads - I'll add a reply to one that is three years old if I feel my reply will add to the discussion in a positive way - just to revive it (some really are worthy of it).

People who reply with "you've revived a dead thread" type posts are only adding to their own frustration, no one else's. LOL

Remember: "Necro" is an "N" word.

Edited by Alyona Su

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Just now, Alyona Su said:

It's not always about answering the OP directly - it's about answering the OP for the benefit of *everyone*, including those who see it long after said reply.  This thread is not a "necro" - if that were the case, half the still-active threads would be "necro". And as for "necro'd" threads - I'll add a reply to one that if three years old if I feel my reply will add to the discussion in a positive way.

People who reply with "you've revived a dead thread" type posts are only adding to their own frustration, no one else's. LOL

Remember: "Necro" is an "N" word.

While you're not wrong in general; asking the OP "What is your favourite place?" isn't for the benefit of anyone.

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21 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

While you're not wrong in general; asking the OP "What is your favourite place?" isn't for the benefit of anyone.

That's true. But also notice that @Stephyii is a *newbie* and wouldn't know better. And your immediate response was an insensitive, nay: abusively insulting response without any explanation what it means (to them). So, to be frank about it, this is me calling you out on that. It was rude and, dare I say, wrong.

This is the negative, toxic angst I refer to whenever I mention it. I don't think you did it with malice, I think it was more likely just a knee-jerk reaction to express your frustration. I get it. I hate to admit I've also posted a knee-jerk reaction or two here.

I just think we should give newcomers a little slack, that's all. And not all of them are new alts. There really are many genuine new users in SL every day. :)

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42 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

While you're not wrong in general; asking the OP "What is your favourite place?" isn't for the benefit of anyone.

The person who posted that has 3 posts total. Experience will help.

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42 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

Would you like a gold star?

No.

Though since this appears to be some kind of an ego race, you win.

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1 hour ago, Alyona Su said:

Though since this appears to be some kind of an ego race, you win.

If it is an ego race, it's one you started. For no reason.

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Back on topic; also don't be this guy:

[03:55] That Guy smiles gently
[03:55] Ayela (ayelanewlife): hiya
[03:56] That Guy gives that hot ass a spank

I'm at a shopping event.

Don't do this.

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4 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

Back on topic; also don't be this guy:

[03:55] That Guy smiles gently
[03:55] Ayela (ayelanewlife): hiya
[03:56] That Guy gives that hot ass a spank

I'm at a shopping event.

Don't do this.

Maybe he was giving you Spanx, the popular pants..?

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On ‎9‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 3:52 PM, Love Zhaoying said:

If I see someone with a thing I like, I try to make friend!

49A6CD51-DC12-4E47-9FA3-9CB9E1AB8D87.jpeg

This is why before I send out a friend request I check to see if they have payment info on file.

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8 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

This is why before I send out a friend request I check to see if they have payment info on file.

Maybe they have successful job as stripper/escort, or are an alt..and don’t need payment info.

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2 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe they have successful job as stripper/escort, or are an alt..and don’t need payment info.

This is true, so I do make exceptions.

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1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Maybe they have successful job as stripper/escort, or are an alt..and don’t need payment info.

In that case it could also mean they barely log on their "non stripping alt" and why bother adding someone who's never online ? that's my personal opinion though.

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5 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:

Back on topic; also don't be this guy:

[03:55] That Guy smiles gently
[03:55] Ayela (ayelanewlife): hiya
[03:56] That Guy gives that hot ass a spank

I'm at a shopping event.

Don't do this.

Please tell me that phrase just popped into your head and nobody actually ever said that. Barf.

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1 minute ago, Dillon Levenque said:

Please tell me that phrase just popped into your head and nobody actually ever said that. Barf.

It's a depressingly common thing. /me smiles gently, /me smiles, /me smiles at you, all kinds of variants.

I can count the number of times it's not been a red flag on my fingers.

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1 minute ago, AyelaNewLife said:

It's a depressingly common thing. /me smiles gently, /me smiles, /me smiles at you, all kinds of variants.

I can count the number of times it's not been a red flag on my fingers.

It was the 'gently' that got me; it seemed such a contrived thing to say. I know that (tragically) the indirect "/me" approach is used all too frequently for first contacts. I much prefer direct talking for that. You know, something like, "Hello. I hope you don't mind but I was reading your profile and couldn't help but be impressed with your wit and creativity. That's a great outfit, by the way." That sort of thing ;-).

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