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Orwar

Would you inform the partner?

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On 4/22/2018 at 4:04 AM, Orwar said:

I was down at a store today, just having a look at a few things, when someone walks up to me and sends me an IM: 'Hey, wanna have some fun? ;)' - being me, I of course open the profile to see what person this is, and apart from a fairly blank profile which tells me nothing about her, there is a partner and a couple of pics dedicated to him, with hearts and airy meme quotes about him being the greatest thing in her life. I also check his profile, and he has similar picks of her, on top of an otherwise fairly ordinary profile.

I turned her down, simply saying that I'm not interested due to her partnership. 

But the moral question is, do I tell him? I know I can't take a screenshot of the IM she sent me and give him hard proof due to Linden Lab's ToA. On the one hand it's hardly my business, and who knows - he might well be in on it. On the other hand, if it were my partner picking up strangers in a store, I would very much like to be made aware of it so that I could confront her about it.

Would you let him know?

NO...definitely DO NOT tell. The truth will come out on its own eventually (chances are it already has since this post is rather old). If you were to get involved, all that would happen is you'd be creating an opportunity to put drama on yourself, cause the person in question would most likely come back on you for saying anything.

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You sir are a gentleman, wish more were like you, sadly so many in SL lie, cheat , have open relationships that they enjoy. I am too old fashioned , just want one to be with and love,  no open relationships for me  But, as so many have said ,,, keep to yourself . 

 

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20 hours ago, Ciera Richez said:

NO...definitely DO NOT tell. The truth will come out on its own eventually (chances are it already has since this post is rather old). If you were to get involved, all that would happen is you'd be creating an opportunity to put drama on yourself, cause the person in question would most likely come back on you for saying anything.

Well, I was more curious about the social convention than the 'repercussions' of angering people. I do that all too frequently regardless, and have no problems dealing with it. I'm one of those annoyingly patient and emotionally detached people who can spend hours arguing with absolutely hysterical people; I suppose there's something that intrigues me about irrationality. Besides, whenever one has had enough fun prodding holes in the 'arguments' of a deranged mind and exhausted the poor creatures, it's easy enough to block them if they haven't had the sense to push the button or back off themselves.

I don't enjoy drama, but I don't fear it.

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I would've said "don't tell".  But then you came back with the rest of the story when you DID tell...and you know what?  Finding out that those people were just trying to use me would've made me feel...well, used.  Even though I did not (you did not) fall for it.  So now I am even more in the "don't tell" camp.

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10 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

So now I am even more in the "don't tell" camp.

Would some chocolate change your mind..?

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A quick glance at my profile will tell someone that they're barking up the wrong tree, lol.  USUALLY if I laugh at them, or even behave nicely and thank them but tell them no thanks, they back down. Some, however, do not. I tend to ignore a LOT of people that randomly IM me for seemingly no reason, and that's usually enough to get people to stop talking to me. 

If someone is partnered, hell not even partnered but has some significant other's name in their profile, and hits on me, to the point that I can tell what it is they are seeking immediately, or they don't back down immediately(when asked, or simply when not answered)....hell yes I am telling that other person. I don't give a fudrucker who that person is, or who the person I am telling is either, for that matter. I also don't care if it creates drama for that person and his/her/whatever partner/friend/lover/playtoy/whatever the hell they want to label themselves.  Good, I hope it does, and I hope it blows up in their face too. Not my circus, not my monkeys lol.  It's happened more than a few times, and I've aided in the ending of a couple relationships because of it (well one specifically I know of, the other, I'm not sure, but wouldn't surprise me, she never did like me, lol)....still don't care. Clearly, there was something amiss there to begin with and it wouldn't have mattered who he was hitting on, they were doomed from the start.  But, then I am super, super biased because I believe in being honest, faithful and monogamous, not testing every single drink on the bar to find one you like better while holding the one you know you like firmly in your fist.

As for the scenario of a couple just getting their jollies.....that's just too weird for my taste, I'll let them tickle their pickles in some other jar, thanks. 

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On 4/22/2018 at 10:04 AM, Orwar said:

Would you let him know?

No!

Its none of your f****** business.

Who are you to judge other peoples morals? Or to police them?

/me shakes her head

 

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On 8/25/2018 at 9:02 AM, carolinestravels said:

Who are you to judge other peoples morals? Or to police them?

Why shouldn't I judge people's morals? It's like my #3 favourite hobby.

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I'm passing right over the drama & getting to the important part. I think if I sent a lovely note along with some home baked cookies that would be a polite way of asking a gentleman or perhaps not so gentlemanly man to show me a his precious posterior.   But then again I'm new to SL so what do I know?

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To answer the titular question and overall premise of this thread: Partnered Avatar? "Partnered" does not precisely mean they are in a romantic or similar relationship and while I am quite well aware what "Partner" has come to mean in general, such was far more than likely not the intent of that particular field when Second Life came online a decade and a half ago - something I tend to keep in mind if perusing the profile of someone flirting/hitting on me or actively trying to do far more.

What sort of relationship (beyond friends or any other platonic type) they have with their Partner is None Of My Business (unless directly disclosed in their profile or in general conversation) - the same with any troubles they may or may not be having.

Drama unfolds? Block/Mute both parties (and potentially anyone they may send after you) and move on.

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If you like drama, then tell the other person. But be prepared for it to possibly backfire in your face :)

If I hit on someone like that or had sex with someone else and they messaged my wife you can bet her name holds true. You will likely get a response like "and you are telling me this why" over and over until you have nothing left to say then she will rudely tell you to go F yourself and mind your own business followed by a block lol.

Guess it all depends if you want a little drama or not.

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On ‎4‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 4:04 AM, Orwar said:

I was down at a store today, just having a look at a few things, when someone walks up to me and sends me an IM: 'Hey, wanna have some fun? ;)' - being me, I of course open the profile to see what person this is, and apart from a fairly blank profile which tells me nothing about her, there is a partner and a couple of pics dedicated to him, with hearts and airy meme quotes about him being the greatest thing in her life. I also check his profile, and he has similar picks of her, on top of an otherwise fairly ordinary profile.

I turned her down, simply saying that I'm not interested due to her partnership. 

But the moral question is, do I tell him? I know I can't take a screenshot of the IM she sent me and give him hard proof due to Linden Lab's ToA. On the one hand it's hardly my business, and who knows - he might well be in on it. On the other hand, if it were my partner picking up strangers in a store, I would very much like to be made aware of it so that I could confront her about it.

Would you let him know?

I deal a lot with the SL adult entertainment community here myself.  A lot of people are partnered, but also they have open relationships.  And even away from the SL adult entertainment... Many people do have open relationships here.  Then that is usually a deeper subject and fetish. 

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6 hours ago, Kayla Whittaker said:

I deal a lot with the SL adult entertainment community here myself.  A lot of people are partnered, but also they have open relationships.  And even away from the SL adult entertainment... Many people do have open relationships here.  Then that is usually a deeper subject and fetish. 

   And there are countless venues and services through which one may live out one's swinger/cuckolding fetishes. A moderate, big-corporation's main store appears an odd choice of hunting grounds for participants of their fetishism. I'm all for people's freedom to pursuit whatever lifestyle they want, whether it's hetero-, bi- or homosexuality, vanilla, BDSM, feet or small dogs - but I don't believe that the freedom of speech covers the right to flaunt one's sexual interests in a public environment of a general-moderate rating. It's no wonder 'everyone' who doesn't 'play' SL thinks it's all about sex when people run around furniture shopping with a guy in a gimp suit and a large carrot up his posterior leashed to their side and the majority of random social interaction consist of people wanting you to assist them in cuckolding their partners.

   I can't be expected to presume that anyone who does something out of the ordinary could or should be excused because they have a 'peculiar' libido. Mainstream social convention, as much as I hate it, still sort of defines a relationship as a monogamist accord of two people - and if two people are as devoted to each other as to declare their over-the-top love for each other in cutsey-claptrap text walls on their profiles, and one of these parties walks up to strangers and ask if they want to 'have some fun', my instinctive reaction would be that the words on their profile are as empty as they appear, and wonder whether it's the same for the other party. As I mentioned - if my partner were doing this, I would be very keen to be made aware of it; and any 'drama' that might ensue of it would be directed at my partner and none other, and I can only assume that anyone else who is a monogamist and in a relationship would feel the same. 

   As for the adult community... The amount of drama caused by infidelity and jealousy vs. the amount of drama caused by anything else? 

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9 hours ago, Orwar said:

   And there are countless venues and services through which one may live out one's swinger/cuckolding fetishes. A moderate, big-corporation's main store appears an odd choice of hunting grounds for participants of their fetishism. I'm all for people's freedom to pursuit whatever lifestyle they want, whether it's hetero-, bi- or homosexuality, vanilla, BDSM, feet or small dogs - but I don't believe that the freedom of speech covers the right to flaunt one's sexual interests in a public environment of a general-moderate rating. It's no wonder 'everyone' who doesn't 'play' SL thinks it's all about sex when people run around furniture shopping with a guy in a gimp suit and a large carrot up his posterior leashed to their side and the majority of random social interaction consist of people wanting you to assist them in cuckolding their partners.

   I can't be expected to presume that anyone who does something out of the ordinary could or should be excused because they have a 'peculiar' libido. Mainstream social convention, as much as I hate it, still sort of defines a relationship as a monogamist accord of two people - and if two people are as devoted to each other as to declare their over-the-top love for each other in cutsey-claptrap text walls on their profiles, and one of these parties walks up to strangers and ask if they want to 'have some fun', my instinctive reaction would be that the words on their profile are as empty as they appear, and wonder whether it's the same for the other party. As I mentioned - if my partner were doing this, I would be very keen to be made aware of it; and any 'drama' that might ensue of it would be directed at my partner and none other, and I can only assume that anyone else who is a monogamist and in a relationship would feel the same. 

   As for the adult community... The amount of drama caused by infidelity and jealousy vs. the amount of drama caused by anything else? 

As for me... in SL, I just can't do the monogamist relationship and make it like my RL.  I like to have too much fun with my SL with men.  Oh yeah... One other thing... Cuckolds are whiny little snots.  LOL

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Nope, wouldn't tell. I might tell him/her that pickup line is lame unless accompanied by a store giftcard.. but I don't much care what their partnership status is. If they are flirting with random strangers in shops it's obviously not a very exclusive relationship.

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