Would you inform the partner?

[Orwar 18,104]

At least no one's said they'd take them up on the offer, lol.

Anyway, I did actually end up writing her - the response I got was 'I am that partner, this is my GF's account and she's laying on the bed behind me laughing as we're just fooling around to see if people will show us their pixels'.

Whilst I'm no fan of drama, and whilst I've read what everyone has to say I think I'll lean towards either scolding the person who does that, and/or perhaps even informing the partner on occasion. It's easy to complain about bad manners and bad morals, but observing and complaining doesn't bring change - and though I don't think I'll eradicate infidelity in SL single-handedly, I might just thud a few people over their noggins along the way and make them reconsider, if only temporarily.

Besides, if I do succeed in properly pissing off someone halfway across the globe... Well, I do that all the time anyway. 

[Skell Dagger 20,469]

55 minutes ago, Orwar said:

the response I got was 'I am that partner, this is my GF's account and she's laying on the bed behind me laughing as we're just fooling around to see if people will show us their pixels'.

So the two of them were approaching random guys in SL in the hopes of getting some amusement out of them that they could then laugh and joke about afterwards? Charming.

I'm not sure what's worse, to be honest: the fact that the avatar was (supposedly) 'cheating', or the fact that they set out to have some fun at the expense of someone else's potential humiliation. While I wouldn't offer any excuses for any guy who would jump at the chance of some shiminy-hoo with a partnered avatar, I dislike the whole 'laughing at someone else's expense' type of entertainment that has become prevalent over the last few years.

[Sukubia Scarmon 2,938]

That's kind of Ironic - usually people do that kind of stuff so they  feel better about themselfes. But in doing that, they've just proven to be worse. Heh.

Edited May 3, 2018 by Sukubia Scarmon

[Janet Voxel 5,488]

Tangential story: I’m hanging out on my land yesterday and crosshairs are locked on me. I do a countdown and sure enough I get inboxed. The conversation starts off causally enough, we’re both into pictures. His crosshairs were on me so he must be close by, oh he’s my neighbor! I walk on over. I get there and he’s in a threesome with another guy and a furry. I didn’t notice the other two dots because they were stacked on top of each other. I do a 180 and head home. He responds “I didn’t want you to see that, that must’ve been an awkward situation for YOU.” Perving someone on their land, while having sex with two other people and god knows what else....yeah, that’s an awkward situation for someone ;but not me.

The only thing that was really surprising was the fact that he was able to do all of those things and carry on a normal conversation as if it wasn’t happening. I used to think SL was out of sight out of mind; apparently you can be in sight and still be cheated on.

[So Whimsy 2,881]

51 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

The only thing that was really surprising was the fact that he was able to do all of those things and carry on a normal conversation as if it wasn’t happening. I used to think SL was out of sight out of mind; apparently you can be in sight and still be cheated on.

Sounds like a random hook up gone wrong, not cheating per se. Imagine finding someone to pixel bump with and all they write in chat is "Uuuuuuuugh!" "Ngggggghhhh!!!" "Oh ya bby!!" and it's so utterly boring and you get nothing out of it yet you can't leave or things might get too awkward or you're simply too nice to tell them they suck - and not in the good way - what's one to do? Open up your web browser and watch a youtube video or check out that cutie neighbour. I totally get it.

 

[Kristen Beornssen 1,341]

6 hours ago, Syn Anatine said:

Sounds like a random hook up gone wrong, not cheating per se. Imagine finding someone to pixel bump with and all they write in chat is "Uuuuuuuugh!" "Ngggggghhhh!!!" "Oh ya bby!!" and it's so utterly boring and you get nothing out of it yet you can't leave or things might get too awkward or you're simply too nice to tell them they suck - and not in the good way - what's one to do? Open up your web browser and watch a youtube video or check out that cutie neighbour. I totally get it.

 

I guess I'm kinda of mean, because his feelings would definitely get hurt. LOL

Without getting too graphic, the condensed scenario usually goes something like this: 

Him: *leans forward and kisses your lips*

Me: *I think I'll go locate a skybox so I don't have to get dressed in a sandbox*

Him: *holds you and keeps kissing you..pushing my tongue into your mouth*

Me: *Oh that's nice.. Wow, it's been raining all day today! Brb, I think I'll go take a peek outside.. *

Him: *mmmmmmm ...your lips are so soft*

Him: *holds you in his strong arms*

<insert random failed attempt at x-rated chat here>

Him: *Slides my hand underneath your shirt to undo your bra*

Him: * Mmmmmmmmmm... oh baby... you are making me so hot.. are you getting hot too?*

*CRICKETS*

Him: *Hello?*

Him: *Are you there?*

Me:  * Oh, sorry I stepped away for a minute, but I see you carried on without me*

Him: *Sorry, am I boring you?*

Me: *Yeah, just a bit*

Him: *Oh  Should I stop then?*

Me: *Um yeah, that would be a good idea*

Him: * Ok... I guess I should be going then.. it's getting late*

Me: *Alrighty, catch you later! Nighty night!*

 

[Kristen Beornssen 1,341]

22 hours ago, Orwar said:

At least no one's said they'd take them up on the offer, lol.

Anyway, I did actually end up writing her - the response I got was 'I am that partner, this is my GF's account and she's laying on the bed behind me laughing as we're just fooling around to see if people will show us their pixels'.

Whilst I'm no fan of drama, and whilst I've read what everyone has to say I think I'll lean towards either scolding the person who does that, and/or perhaps even informing the partner on occasion. It's easy to complain about bad manners and bad morals, but observing and complaining doesn't bring change - and though I don't think I'll eradicate infidelity in SL single-handedly, I might just thud a few people over their noggins along the way and make them reconsider, if only temporarily.

Besides, if I do succeed in properly pissing off someone halfway across the globe... Well, I do that all the time anyway. 

That's how I feel about it. I've been the "partner" who got informed, and I've also had to do the informing. So I've been on both sides of that coin. I'd rather know than not , so that I can make an informed decision.

When it comes to certain things - even in RL - I'd rather take a proactive stance instead of saying "well, it's not my business, so I'm going to stay out of it". I'm that neighbor who will call the cops when I hear some domestic violence going on or child abuse. I'm that friend who will tell you if I've seen your significant other with someone else. I'm the person on the street who will try to help a stranger in trouble if I can, or give that homeless person a few dollars if I have it to spare and so on.

I dunno, that's just the way I've always been. When it comes to SL, it's no different. If it turns out to be nothing, then fine - at least I know that I took a chance and said something just in case he/she was really cheating and their partner didn't know.

[Asadora Summers 275]

Or maybe the person had partnered their alt and forgotten that they had done so when they saw you?

Over the years, people with names in their partner boxes would chat me up. I would simply just ask them if they are 'lonely' as they claim, then why is there a name in their partner box. The often response I would get would be:  'We have an open relationship' to which I've said, 'I perfer my relationships closed.'  Sometimes there would be an explanation of: 'They don't log  into SL anymore.' To which I have said, 'Then perhaps you should stop false advertising yourself.' Said in a polite tone of course!

The thing about SL is that is a fluid environment, where the only thing that is constant is change. Don't stir up trouble, just walk away or hit the X instead. 

 

[AyelaNewLife 2,933]

I think I would inform the partner, but it is not my place to pre-judge the rights or wrongs of the situation. I'd send a short IM that briefly explains that, while I don't know the specifics of your relationship, you might want to know about his/her activities. And that's it. No opinions, no judgement, no use of the word cheating. I would just politely state the facts, and leave everything else to the couple. 

As to how I'd treat the partner that approached me; my personal opinion is that it is not the duty of the "third party" to police a relationship. I do not like the concept of a "homewrecker", as the blame for cheating always lies with the partner committing infidelity, and no one else. I would treat them as single, and I'd engage with them or walk away as I'd treat anyone else. With one exception - I would personally never approach or initiate with anyone in a relationship, that is up to them. Once they've made the first move, they are fair game.

[Klaineanderson 1,359]

No reason to talk to partner.

[Klaineanderson 1,359]

Once i informed partner of  Guy who was IM me a lot,and after some days there was no partner in his profile.lol

[Zeta Vandyke 16,727]

I would not tell. Unless the person keeps being pushy and not accepting no or an answer, then I might get annoyed and if they have a partner inform them. But in general I consider it non of my business. Its not the most heroic or noble way to deal with it, but im non of those I guess.

And also, in my "naughty" business in SL I see a lot of guests who enjoy themselves but also have a partner in their profile. Would not be really discrete and good for my business if I would act on that.

[Orwar 18,104]

43 minutes ago, Zeta Vandyke said:

I would not tell. Unless the person keeps being pushy and not accepting no or an answer, then I might get annoyed and if they have a partner inform them. But in general I consider it non of my business. Its not the most heroic or noble way to deal with it, but im non of those I guess.

And also, in my "naughty" business in SL I see a lot of guests who enjoy themselves but also have a partner in their profile. Would not be really discrete and good for my business if I would act on that.

Ever considered the pecuniary benefits of blackmail? Smiles innocently.

[Zeta Vandyke 16,727]

3 minutes ago, Orwar said:

Ever considered the pecuniary benefits of blackmail? Smiles innocently.

Well, it would be bad for my current business. I did of course tape them all and archived them so I can start my blackmail campaign when I retire

[Kyrah Abattoir 1,823]

Snitches get stitches, or at least that's what they say.

In my opinion this is a pressure cooker waiting to blow.

You should stay away and not get roped into this.

[Maitimo 11,658]

Personally I wouldn't have said anything, given that they were both strangers. That's more drama than I care for.

However, if the person being cheated-on was a friend, I would tell, and I would hope that my friends would do the same if my partner was cheating on me.

[Jordan Whitt 5,071]

I so relate to what Dementia posted as my first SL partner did this to me.  He'd cheat, I'd catch him, we'd break up, he'd crawl back, I'd take him, he'd cheat, I'd catch him, we'd break up ad nauseum for three year!!!  Finally he cheated with the one person I wouldn't pee on if they were on fire, which broke his hold over me and I found some self worth!

All this being said, recently I was being intimate with my latest partner and a couple landed in our skybox and told us to vacate the bed so they could use it.  I profile perved and noticed the male was partnered and his naked female companion wasn't her.  After "politely" telling him that when he paid my rent he could fornicate in my bed, I sent his partner an IM informing her of what had happened and that she needs to let her man fornicate his skanks in his own bed and stay out of mine.

They weren't partnered the next day.

As someone in an open relationship, I usually do not pass judgment as many others in here are in them too, but they peeved me, hence the IM to his partner. 

[SamMoon777 515]

it s SL. nobody cares who cheats on who.

[Talligurl 41,868]

6 minutes ago, SamMoon777 said:

it s SL. nobody cares who cheats on who.

Not true, my first SL boyfriend didn't even want me letting other guys see my avi naked. I reacted very badly to that.

[LeriaDraven 4]

I'd tell. I'd want to know. Though the truth will come out eventually. They always get caught or slip up. 

[Panteleeva 12,734]

Once i informed partner of my ex, that he had me on his alt and played cancer person. And she was like "huh wtf?sh*t, bullsh*t,f*ck off,etc".lol

Edited June 21, 2018 by Panteleeva

[Sukubia Scarmon 2,938]

That's quite common. People do not WANT to believe that the person they love does *****ty things. They rather ignore it and/or blame everyone else, hoping it'll never come up/happen again.

[Quinn Lysette 207]

On 4/22/2018 at 3:04 AM, Orwar said:

I was down at a store today, just having a look at a few things, when someone walks up to me and sends me an IM: 'Hey, wanna have some fun? ;)' - being me, I of course open the profile to see what person this is, and apart from a fairly blank profile which tells me nothing about her, there is a partner and a couple of pics dedicated to him, with hearts and airy meme quotes about him being the greatest thing in her life. I also check his profile, and he has similar picks of her, on top of an otherwise fairly ordinary profile.

I turned her down, simply saying that I'm not interested due to her partnership. 

But the moral question is, do I tell him? I know I can't take a screenshot of the IM she sent me and give him hard proof due to Linden Lab's ToA. On the one hand it's hardly my business, and who knows - he might well be in on it. On the other hand, if it were my partner picking up strangers in a store, I would very much like to be made aware of it so that I could confront her about it.

Would you let him know?

i have encountered those kinds of profiles it turns out both profiles belong to the same person its just a trick and most of the time they r both males so  basicly just losers out to trick ppl

Edited June 22, 2018 by Quinn Lysette

[Panteleeva 12,734]

i m not sure if that partner will believe me,hehe

Edited June 24, 2018 by Panteleeva

[Kendraskyye 28]

I would hope someone would let my partner know. It would make his night, lol.