Too Many RL Questions

[kershe]

I've had a couple of experiences that I wanted to unload. The theme is generally too many RL questions.

I don't have a problem telling my age/sex/location - it doesn't matter; no one is going to find me with that information. Often a guy will follow up with more questions, but they're usually harmless. But there were two times when the follow-ups really irked me.

The first time, the guy was very polite and friendly and we talked for a good while until he asked my RL name, just my first name. My first name is very common, especially in the city I live in, so I told him. Then he started calling me by my RL first name. A lot. Like in every sentence. And for some reason it pissed me off incredibly, so I made an excuse for logging out, and next time I logged in, I dropped him off my friend list. (I even said BOOM! as I did it.)

The other time was just two nights ago. After some small talk this guy started asking me questions. How tall am I? What color hair? What size shoes do I wear? What's my build? What size bra do I wear?

At first, cause I was a little tired, I was just answering him without thinking, but then I thought, what the hell is this? I moved to another sim, which he didn't seem to notice, and I said, "Why are you asking me all this stuff?" And he said, "Just answer the questions."

It turned out that the answer to his next question was Ctrl-Q.

It didn't make me angry or anything like that. He wasn't exactly rude (except for the last bit). The reason I'm writing is that I'm a little confused about why these things bothered me. I mean, I don't give away anything that would let someone identify me in RL -- I'm very careful about that after an incident a couple years ago. And it's not that I mind talking about my appearance. And I don't think it mattered that it was a guy doing this. It was about the attitude behind the questions.

I don't know... it's kind of like, I feel, I'm here, we're here, in this SL world, but you want to talk about this other world. My RL isn't a secret I need to keep - I mean, except insofar as not wanting some SL person to knock on my RL door unbidden.

I think what it is, is that I feel like my SL avatar isn't being taken seriously. That the little me on the screen is not being respected.

Does that make any sense to anyone else?

Edited April 16, 2018 by kershe

[Sagadin]

12 minutes ago, kershe said:

I think what it is, is that I feel like my SL avatar isn't being taken seriously. The little me on the screen is not being respected.

Does that make any sense to anyone else?

It makes perfect sense to me. I've spent so much time (not to mention $L :P) on my avi and you want to know about what someone else besides her looks like?? [block with impunity]

Edited April 16, 2018 by Sagadin

[Rhonda Huntress]

There is a big difference between chatting and collecting data.

You are much more patient than I am.

My RL first name is The.
My RL last name is [Moderator Edit - No Profanity Please, even masked]

Edited April 16, 2018 by Dakota Linden
Moderator Edit - Removed Masked Profanity

[Akasha Sternberg]

16 minutes ago, kershe said:

I've had a couple of experiences that I wanted to unload. The theme is generally too many RL questions.

I don't have a problem telling my age/sex/location - it doesn't matter; no one is going to find me with that information. Often a guy will follow up with more questions, but they're usually harmless. But there were two times when the follow-ups really irked me.

The first time, the guy was very polite and friendly and we talked for a good while until he asked my RL name, just my first name. My first name is very common, especially in the city I live in, so I told him. Then he started calling me by my RL first name. A lot. Like in every sentence. And for some reason it pissed me off incredibly, so I made an excuse for logging out, and next time I logged in, I dropped him off my friend list. (I even said BOOM! as I did it.)

The other time was just two nights ago. After some small talk this guy started asking me questions. How tall am I? What color hair? What size shoes do I wear? What's my build? What size bra do I wear?

At first, cause I was a little tired, I was just answering him without thinking, but then I thought, what the hell is this? I moved to another sim, which he didn't seem to notice, and I said, "Why are you asking me all this stuff?" And he said, "Just answer the questions."

It turned out that the answer to his next question was Ctrl-Q.

It didn't make me angry or anything like that. He wasn't exactly rude (except for the last bit). The reason I'm writing is that I'm a little confused about why these things bothered me. I mean, I don't give away anything that would let someone identify me in RL -- I'm very careful about that after an incident a couple years ago. And it's not that I mind talking about my appearance. And I don't think it mattered that it was a guy doing this. It was about the attitude behind the questions.

I don't know... it's kind of like, I feel, I'm here, we're here, in this SL world, but you want to talk about this other world. My RL isn't a secret I need to keep - I mean, except insofar as not wanting some SL person to knock on my RL door unbidden.

I think what it is, is that I feel like my SL avatar isn't being taken seriously. That the little me on the screen is not being respected.

Does that make any sense to anyone else?

yep ... makes perfect sense!!!!!

If someone gives me such an attitude I´ll hand them their backsides on a silver plate .... finely sliced.... with a rusty spoon..... There´s enough RL info on my RL tab, I HATE my RL name (both... thankfully the last name will change in the mid future).... DAMN... Gosh ...
If I feel like it I mock them or ask them stupid stuff in return.... or start to discuss until they vanish... if they start to be rude I´ll AR them ...

 

but yeah... people like that are the reason I don´t explore clubs or sims I know that will be crowded anymore... leads to loneliness but ah well...

 

[Jae Villa]

It is a really weird problem. I'm a guy and I come on SL to talk about fun stuff. Life is boring and work is hard, SL is my chill time when I can just relax. So though I'm not one of those who put "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT RL!", I do wish people wouldn't talk about it all the time. And, as a male avi, people tend not to. We have a laugh. We dance. We explore. We make jokes. It's great. 

My brief, and horrifying, time using a female alt was a totally different experience. Men, who appeared to lack any sense of humour, sense of fun and sense of imagination, just constantly wanted to know about RL. I wasn't interested in that, obviously, but the persistence and the use of stalker alts really made mad. It also made me end that experiment pretty quickly. Female avis may get all the nice stuff but they also get all the weirdos so I'll never complain about there not being enough male stuff at shopping events ever again. 

So I totally get what you're experiencing and what you want. SL is an expression of yourself. How you present yourself there is how you wish to be seen and what you want to discuss. That seems almost self-evident in the concept of SL itself. I honestly haven't a clue why some people (men in my experience) can't get their head around that. It's like "We're currently dressed as wolves, riding a rollercoaster in an abandoned theme park and you want to know what town I'm from??? PRIORITIES PLEASE!"

 

[Rhonda Huntress]

4 minutes ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

but yeah... people like that are the reason I don´t explore clubs or sims I know that will be crowded anymore... leads to loneliness but ah well...

You can always hang out with me.

BTW, do you have a nickname you call your breasts?
What's blood type?
Not counting Wisdom teeth, are you missing any teeth?
Where is the closest mental facility to where you live?
If you were to call the fire department, how long in seconds would it take them to respond?

Just curious.  Idle chat. 

[Liaa Nova]

2 minutes ago, Jae Villa said:

It is a really weird problem. I'm a guy and I come on SL to talk about fun stuff. Life is boring and work is hard, SL is my chill time when I can just relax. So though I'm not one of those who put "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT RL!", I do wish people wouldn't talk about it all the time. And, as a male avi, people tend not to. We have a laugh. We dance. We explore. We make jokes. It's great. 

My brief, and horrifying, time using a female alt was a totally different experience. Men, who appeared to lack any sense of humour, sense of fun and sense of imagination, just constantly wanted to know about RL. I wasn't interested in that, obviously, but the persistence and the use of stalker alts really made mad. It also made me end that experiment pretty quickly. Female avis may get all the nice stuff but they also get all the weirdos so I'll never complain about there not being enough male stuff at shopping events ever again. 

So I totally get what you're experiencing and what you want. SL is an expression of yourself. How you present yourself there is how you wish to be seen and what you want to discuss. That seems almost self-evident in the concept of SL itself. I honestly haven't a clue why some people (men in my experience) can't get their head around that. It's like "We're currently dressed as wolves, riding a rollercoaster in an abandoned theme park and you want to know what town I'm from??? PRIORITIES PLEASE!"

 

This! I get Hi . . How are you? (They can NEVER ask in one sentence) then the 'Where are you from?' q . . if I ask why they want to know they blame timezones (how would I know after speaking for one sentence if I want to login when he does, and I use SLT anyway as i'm on randomly) or they say language reasons, instead of 'Do you speak x?'

One did admit in case I was close enough to have 'fun' with, err ok lol

At least talk to me a while first!

[kershe]

6 minutes ago, Jae Villa said:

It is a really weird problem. I'm a guy and I come on SL to talk about fun stuff. Life is boring and work is hard, SL is my chill time when I can just relax. So though I'm not one of those who put "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT RL!", I do wish people wouldn't talk about it all the time. And, as a male avi, people tend not to. We have a laugh. We dance. We explore. We make jokes. It's great. 

My brief, and horrifying, time using a female alt was a totally different experience. Men, who appeared to lack any sense of humour, sense of fun and sense of imagination, just constantly wanted to know about RL. I wasn't interested in that, obviously, but the persistence and the use of stalker alts really made mad. It also made me end that experiment pretty quickly. Female avis may get all the nice stuff but they also get all the weirdos so I'll never complain about there not being enough male stuff at shopping events ever again. 

So I totally get what you're experiencing and what you want. SL is an expression of yourself. How you present yourself there is how you wish to be seen and what you want to discuss. That seems almost self-evident in the concept of SL itself. I honestly haven't a clue why some people (men in my experience) can't get their head around that. It's like "We're currently dressed as wolves, riding a rollercoaster in an abandoned theme park and you want to know what town I'm from??? PRIORITIES PLEASE!"

Thanks, that was pretty interesting. Actually, just last night I had a hour-long conversation with a guy I had only just met, and he wanted to talk about the sim he was trying to start, and after reading your comment, I realize he told me absolutely nothing about his life and asked me nothing about mine. There was so much to say, and all of it SL.

Like you, I am not a "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT RL" either. I think it was an attitude that bothered me more than the questions themselves.

Edited April 16, 2018 by kershe

[Akasha Sternberg]

3 minutes ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

You can always hang out with me.

BTW, do you have a nickname you call your breasts?
What's blood type?
Not counting Wisdom teeth, are you missing any teeth?
Where is the closest mental facility to where you live?
If you were to call the fire department, how long in seconds would it take them to respond?

Just curious.  Idle chat. 

I´d love to but you´re never pnline when I´m home and awake woman btw see your inworld chat  for more on that

 

EFF I couldn´t go with the don´t talk to me about my RL  stuff -  I met a guy who I met in RL in SL (RL first XD) so....we do talk about that quite often

[Rhonda Huntress]

4 minutes ago, Liana Wildmist said:

then the 'Where are you from?' q . . if I ask why they want to know they blame timezones

My favorite way to ask that question is "What part of the world do you call home?"  I am more interested in culture than timezone but it leaves the answer wide open to be as vague or specific as they like.

[Lucia Nightfire]

We really need that hug emote, I'm tellin' ya.

[kershe]

10 minutes ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

do you have a nickname you call your breasts?

Dear god, I never heard that one. I had a friend who had names for everything, even different aspects of his personality ("the philosopher", "the dharma bum", "the collector"). It used to make me feel inadequate and disorganized that I hadn't cataloged myself like that.

I never asked if he had a name for his man part, but I'm sure he did. At least one.

Edited April 16, 2018 by kershe

[Sagadin]

21 minutes ago, kershe said:

I never asked if he had a name for his man part, but I'm sure he did. At least one.

Hopefully THAT wasn't "the collector!"

[So Whimsy]

1 minute ago, Sagadin said:

Hopefully THAT wasn't "the collector!"

Oh my god did you just...

 

[Fionalein]

3 minutes ago, Sagadin said:

Hopefully THAT wasn't "the collector!"

my microbiology skills tell me that would be no good one =^.^=

[kershe]

8 minutes ago, Sagadin said:

Hopefully THAT wasn't "the collector!"

Yeah, he was like that. I think if he could have cut notches on it, he would have.

He was much much older than me, so for that, and other reasons related to how we met, he saw me less as a collectible and more like a daughter or a friend-that-was-somehow-female.

Once I had to do a RL Ctrl-Q on him, but luckily we reconciled before he kicked.

Edited April 16, 2018 by kershe

[norajulian]

Honestly, people are really weird and there are a group of people in SL who log in to fullfill certain “desires” that they might not fill out in the REAL world, if you get my drift. I’ve straight up been told by men (male avatars, anyway) that they’d be “thinking of me all night” and at this point in my SL if it gets to any place I’m uncomfortable with, I call them out on it. You don’t have to tell anyone jack diddly. 

Also, my breasts are nicknamed “Bonnie” and “Clyde.”

[So Whimsy]

14 minutes ago, norajulian said:

Honestly, people are really weird and there are a group of people in SL who log in to fullfill certain “desires”

Well, that's the entire reason why every single one of us logs in. We all have that 'certain desire', it just varies greatly from person to person as to what exactly it is.

[Janet Voxel]

I don’t mind “Where are you from?” In the first few conversations with someone I just met. The real name, blood type, social insurance number? No, we’re in the creep zone now.

Its not that extreme too often, but I always wonder who shares all that stuff with strangers? Someone is doing it.

[norajulian]

3 hours ago, Syn Anatine said:

Well, that's the entire reason why every single one of us logs in. We all have that 'certain desire', it just varies greatly from person to person as to what exactly it is.

Yeah, but there is another part of that sentence that you didn't quote *chuckles* 

[SodaGnome]

If you look like this in game, no one will ever ask you for rl information.

If I play a sexy young female avatar... ya I get bugged a lot.

 

[Chase01]

I have a lot of close friends in world, people that I have known for years that still don't know my first name, nor do I know theirs. I prefer to keep RL separate from SL for the most part, and outside of answering a few basic questions, that's where I prefer to leave it.

I think you had an issue with it because you questioned their intent. Its kinda like some random guy giving you a compliment and you know what's probably coming next. I especially enjoy the sneak in questions, as if to mask their true intentions. It is a an obvious dance and I see it coming from a mile away. Most of the time I end up blocking them right away, on occasion I call them out on their lackluster attempt. 

Edited April 17, 2018 by Chase01

[Paul Hexem]

8 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

You can always hang out with me.

BTW, do you have a nickname you call your breasts?
What's blood type?
Not counting Wisdom teeth, are you missing any teeth?
Where is the closest mental facility to where you live?
If you were to call the fire department, how long in seconds would it take them to respond?

Just curious.  Idle chat. 

I guarantee you that there is a man somewhere that does have a nickname for yours, even if you don't.

8 hours ago, kershe said:

Dear god, I never heard that one. I had a friend who had names for everything, even different aspects of his personality ("the philosopher", "the dharma bum", "the collector"). It used to make me feel inadequate and disorganized that I hadn't cataloged myself like that.

I never asked if he had a name for his man part, but I'm sure he did. At least one.

The best names are the ones with a story behind them.

[Akasha Sternberg]

2 hours ago, SodaGnome said:

If you look like this in game, no one will ever ask you for rl information.

If I play a sexy young female avatar... ya I get bugged a lot.

 

I dream of a day where we can LEGALLY have a DECENT (as in screen accurate decent....pet peeve of mine...) SW stuff in SL (I have a nice TIE fighter to fly in  - with no chance of an interior shot as there´s no cockpit and stuffs....) Plus the only chance to get some decent armour was an offer by some weird dude in a new sim´s RP group that was VERY rude and yierks in groupchat- and it takes a lot for me to post that....).... kudos for your attempt though.... I´d have at least commented on it...

*coughs BTT everyone....BTT!!

if some random man with his hand down his pants has a name for my babyfeeding organs... DAMN that one needs a life....he should join this so called Real Life....

[Pixie Kobichenko]

Oh where to start with listing the oh so original questions  & accusations that crawl into my box...

You like sex? -no honestly I do not. (If that does not suffice I then regale them with my gyno history but they tp out before I can get to the fun stuff)

Will you voice to prove you are a female? -um no?  What were we supposed to go out & pick out china patterns & get married? 

Do you look like your avi in RL?  -well we both have 2 arms 2 legs a head.....

You are a man or really fat since you won't "prove yourself"  -Hey man whatever gets you thru the night.