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Love Zhaoying

Coming Out as a New Woman

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35 minutes ago, Kristen Beornssen said:

He was exaggerating when he said "full Incan regalia", he was a drama queen who loved to embellish the truth as to make his stories more interesting

I'm familiar with what Peruvians and Amazonians look like. :D Here in Dallas, we get people from everywhere, so depending on your social circle, you are bound to encounter a variety of different people from nearly every corner of the globe at some point in time. Interesting reading though, thanks for the cultural lesson.

I figured as much on both counts. The sim in question gives a notecard about 'looking appropriate and native' or something... but what you get is anything but...
In my review of the place I was actually kind to it. The Amazon is under such extreme threat that ANYTHING that gets people to want it to still be around is useful...

RL... yeah... I've got my own tales, and people who didn't make it...

I never learned how to 'dial it down', and I slip up in trying to 'code talk' and end up speaking truth way too easily.

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58 minutes ago, Kristen Beornssen said:

*passes you the boxing gloves* You'll be Rocky and I'll be Mickey.

"Go for the ribs! "

Maybe slow down a wee bit. Are you really happy to lay into a rape survivor like this?

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6 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Maybe slow down a wee bit. Are you really happy to lay into a rape survivor like this?

What?

No, "Mickey" sat on the sidelines (I'm not sure how familiar you are with Rocky movies). I'm not "laying into" anyone. The boxing gloves were for Pussycat, if she so chose to defend her statements. If you read my comment before about "choosing your battles", you'd see why I made that statement. When it comes to rape, I have my own personal experiences with that, So I'm not even venturing into that topic.

Edited by Kristen Beornssen

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20 minutes ago, Pussycat Catnap said:

I figured as much on both counts. The sim in question gives a notecard about 'looking appropriate and native' or something... but what you get is anything but...
In my review of the place I was actually kind to it. The Amazon is under such extreme threat that ANYTHING that gets people to want it to still be around is useful...

RL... yeah... I've got my own tales, and people who didn't make it...

I never learned how to 'dial it down', and I slip up in trying to 'code talk' and end up speaking truth way too easily.

I think we are from the same generation, or at least I got that impression from your earlier statements. So as you know, back in the day, learning how to "code talk" was as common as learning your ABC's. I'm not sure if many minority households still practice that today, but I think it's a testament to how important our parents felt it was to know how to navigate through a world that views us as a threat or inferior.

Dialing it down didn't come easy to me, it took a long time to learn how to deal with the constant stream of microaggressions that we come across on a daily basis. You simply can not allow everything to effect you -  because living in a near constant embattled state will leave you worn down, embittered, and depleted in the long run. It takes its toll.

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34 minutes ago, Kristen Beornssen said:

What?

No, "Mickey" sat on the sidelines (I'm not sure how familiar you are with Rocky movies). I'm not "laying into" anyone. The boxing gloves were for Pussycat, if she so chose to defend her statements. If you read my comment before about "choosing your battles", you'd see why I made that statement. When it comes to rape, I have my own personal experiences with that, So I'm not even venturing into that topic.

Might be worth going back to read through the exchange after emotions have cooled.

To an outsider, it looks like you and Pussycat were laying into a rape survivor. Or perhaps it was just Pussycat who was actually laying into her, with your role being to encourage Pussycat and then celebrating a victory over her opponent. Either way, you were both involved. I should have made that clearer in my post.

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15 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Might be worth going back to read through the exchange after emotions have cooled.

To an outsider, it looks like you and Pussycat were laying into a rape survivor. Or perhaps it was just Pussycat who was actually laying into her, with your role being to encourage Pussycat and then celebrating a victory over her opponent. Either way, you were both involved. I should have made that clearer in my post.

I can't speak for anyone else, but this is just a typical topic of discussion for me. No emotions involved. As for it looking like I was "laying into a rape survivor" not sure how you came about that, considering I said nothing to her and I was responding directly to Pussycat after talking to her about choosing her battles.

I think anyone who's actually been following the conversation will see that I was essentially saying to Pussycat - "this battle is yours, I'm not getting into that". The message isn't cloaked in mystery and it isn't hard to figure out. The "Go for the ribs" at the end was sarcasm on my part.

Now IF I really wanted to attack her, I'd address her directly. But why would I do that when she has said nothing offensive or even remotely disconcerting to me? And no, we were not 'both involved', but you seemed determined to involve the both of us anyway. You are reaching.

 

Edited by Kristen Beornssen
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How was I, or any other reader, to know that the "Go for the ribs" was sarcasm?

How was I, or any other reader, to know that it wasn't meant as encouragement?

If I remembered a movie I saw 40 years ago, would that have helped?

1 hour ago, Kristen Beornssen said:

Wonderful! Now we can keep the discussion going uninterrupted. Pussycat Catnap, you're up!  :D

That's from you and it came across as celebratory. If you weren't involved, why did you write it the way you did? "Wonderful!" sounds pretty happy about things.

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Just now, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

How was I, or any other reader, to know that the "Go for the ribs" was sarcasm?

How was I, or any other reader, to know that it wasn't meant as encouragement?

If I remembered a movie I saw 40 years ago, would that have helped?

That's from you and it came across as celebratory. If you weren't involved, why did you write it the way you did? "Wonderful!" sounds pretty happy about things.

Did you not see that part where she said she was putting Pussycat on ignore? And I said "Wonderful!", now she won't have to read the conversation between us any further, and get offended by anything that's said. Hence - Pussycat and I can now carry on with our topic of discussion uninterrupted without fear of upsetting her further . THAT's why I said that.

I mean you could have asked what I meant at first, instead of assuming and jumping to conclusions. I would have gladly explained it.

Personally, I don't announce when I'm putting someone on ignore, I just do it and get on with it, but that's her prerogative.

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4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

JFC, and I get in trouble for derailing threads. I’m a leave this right here.

3BC62E23-09EB-4394-ACBC-1A0BE00A1A59.jpeg

LOL, it's all good Love. Just another day on an internet forum. Same stuff different day.

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Yes, I saw where she said she was putting Pussycat on ignore. I also saw pain underlying her words and actions.

I did ask you a question. Did I not ask it right, according to your requirements?

Why are you assuming that I'm "assuming and jumping to conclusions"? You've only asked me one question. If I'm understanding your advice to me, then shouldn't you have asked me more questions first in order to better understand what I mean?

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9 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Yes, I saw where she said she was putting Pussycat on ignore. I also saw pain underlying her words and actions.

I did ask you a question. Did I not ask it right, according to your requirements?

Why are you assuming that I'm "assuming and jumping to conclusions"? You've only asked me one question. If I'm understanding your advice to me, then shouldn't you have asked me more questions first in order to better understand what I mean?

You asked me after you made the assumption that I was 'laying into a rape survivor'. Which I told you I was not, but you seemed steadfast determined to prove that I was. You didn't ask me any questions at all before you came in with your accusatory statement. So the "question asking" should have started with you before you even decided to post that.

Anyway, if you aren't satisfied with that answer, there's nothing I can do about that *shrugs*. Because in all honestly, how you chose perceive what I said to Pussycat is your business. So, I'll leave you with that. If Pussycat wishes to carry on the topic of discussion, we can, since we had a good dialogue going. Cheers!

 

Edited by Kristen Beornssen

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Right. So I didn't ask my question right according to your requirements. At least that's cleared up.

I am not steadfast determined to prove anything. Please refrain from making things up about me. Thank you.

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11 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Right. So I didn't ask my question right according to your requirements. At least that's cleared up.

I am not steadfast determined to prove anything. Please refrain from making things up about me. Thank you.

You made an accusation - I explained why I said what I did and you weren't satisfied with the answer and kept pressing the matter further.. And yes, we cleared that up.

As long as you refrain from making things up about me. Thank you.

What I say and how you choose to perceive it is not my concern. So I'm going to leave this here. Read it and mull over it for a while, and consider the message. And if you are still pressed about it afterward, oh well, you'll get over it. LOL

With that, I bid you a good day, Madame! 

218223-People-Only-Understand-Their-Level-Of-Perception.jpg

Edited by Kristen Beornssen
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I was molested as a teen, luckily stopped the offender just short of penetration. Later in my 30’s, was given HIV through non-consensual sex. (Not AIDS, will probably be HIV-undetectable the rest of my life.) So, please remember that males also have similar issues to females when it comes to rape. Obviously, HIV comes with stigmatization.

In addition, I’m so tight with the Trans community that I’m a founding member of our Trans ministry and several of my best friends are Trans. Trans people have the highest probability of being raped and murdered. I basically identify as Trans because of all this.

Obviously, I’m gay so have been marginalized most of my life and was bullied in school. 

So, please have respect when discussing issues of abuse, victimization, stigmatization, and appropriation on MY threads.

Edited by Love Zhaoying
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On 2018-03-23 at 1:05 AM, kershe said:

I know others won't agree, but I don't think you need a head.

In any case, you need a nice shape.

I didnt think i needed a mesh head either before i tried some and finally when i tried my Lelutka head there was no way back. Although i tried, I couldnt go back to default. I just had to open my wallet and I dont regret it. Its just amazing how "alive" it is compared to the old one. Im hooked. But not every mesh head works for you, its quite personal and u have to try on a few before you find the one thats "you" :)

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1 minute ago, Majskakan said:

I didnt think i needed a mesh head either before i tried some and finally when i tried my Lelutka head there was no way back. Although i tried, I couldnt go back to default. I just had to open my wallet and I dont regret it. Its just amazing how "alive" it is compared to the old one. Im hooked. But not every mesh head works for you, its quite personal and u have to try on a few before you find the one thats "you" :)

Lelutka makes great heads!

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6 hours ago, Majskakan said:

I didnt think i needed a mesh head either before i tried some and finally when i tried my Lelutka head there was no way back. Although i tried, I couldnt go back to default. I just had to open my wallet and I dont regret it. Its just amazing how "alive" it is compared to the old one. Im hooked. But not every mesh head works for you, its quite personal and u have to try on a few before you find the one thats "you" :)

I can't contradict what you said, since I've never tried a head, but I have noticed that most shapes (I mean the shapes you use without a head) don't have good faces.  I've found some that I think do have lovely faces, and so I don't feel the need to find a head.

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11 hours ago, kershe said:

I can't contradict what you said, since I've never tried a head, but I have noticed that most shapes (I mean the shapes you use without a head) don't have good faces.  I've found some that I think do have lovely faces, and so I don't feel the need to find a head.

I think its the animations of the heads and the eyes that makes the biggest difference. U can still find or create beautyful default heads but the eyes doesnt look as alive as on animated mesh heads me thinks. But thats only my opinion :)

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