What is wrong with men from Thailand ?

[Odie001]

Hello everyone, 

I have a question that I would like to have an honest and straight forward opinion from all of you. Please note that this topic is not meant to create any conflict, it is just out of my innocent curiosity. 

I am a Thai woman from Thailand, my main account is female, but i also have an alt account as a male form for the purpose of making SL machinima, but i never used him in the public. Last week i decided to try him out in the public to see how i would experience as a male avi. So, I went to Frank's Place Ballroom, and I randomly started a private conversation with 5 women there (one at a time), they were all Americans (specified in the profile). The conversations went very well as i was very polite, respectful, and no sexual at all, just general conversations. Just after about 10 lines, they asked me where i am from. So i told them that i am from Thailand. Suddenly they all went silent, no words from them after that, one of them even left the scene without saying anything.  

I did not ask them what's wrong. At first i thought that they were afraid of the cultural differences, but later on, i came to think that i never had that problem as a female avi before (my female account has been regularly active since 2010), as a female avi when i told people that i am from Thailand, they were all fine, most of them replied that they liked my country or they have been to, something like that, and they all continued the conversation. 

But why it's different to my male form ? What's wrong with appearing to be a Thai man from Thailand ? 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2018 by Odie001
correction

[Callum Meriman]

A sample size of a mere five people isn't a great way to judge the worth of people in general.

Being in a male body instead of your normal gender, you could be noticing other things too, the dynamic is quite different.

[Odie001]

43 minutes ago, Callum Meriman said:

A sample size of a mere five people isn't a great way to judge the worth of people in general.

Being in a male body instead of your normal gender, you could be noticing other things too, the dynamic is quite different.

Please note that the 5 people i met them consecutively  (one following another), no gap of other people in between them. It's not like 5 people in different occasions. They were all in the same time, same place, same occasion. 5 out of 5. And although i was acting as a man, i did not say anything out of the ordinary, it was just a proper introduction like "How are you ?", "I am fine thank you.", "Do you come to this place often ?".  

And i have never experienced that as a female avi. Not even once. 

Edited March 21, 2018 by Odie001
added

[Resi Pfeffer]

3 minutes ago, Odie001 said:

And i have never experienced that as a female avi. Not even once. 

SL is known to be a dating platform for a lot of people, even if they dont flirt from the first second.
And asian countries like thailand are known to attract a special sort of men from western countries who try to get, what they cant have at home.
I never heard about western woman or men going to thailand because of the men living there...

Please dont take this as an offence. Its just what i can say as an european citizen.

[Odie001]

5 minutes ago, Resi Pfeffer said:

SL is known to be a dating platform for a lot of people, even if they dont flirt from the first second.
And asian countries like thailand are known to attract a special sort of men from western countries who try to get, what they cant have at home.
I never heard about western woman or men going to thailand because of the men living there...

Please dont take this as an offence. Its just what i can say as an european citizen.

So you were saying that asian women are attractive , but asian men are not ? (from western perspective) I know for sure that in my country it's very common to see a western man walking with a Thai woman, but in the contrary, it's very very rare to see a western woman walking with a Thai man.    

[Pamela Galli]

My guess is that it is because short/small men are often  less valued in Westrn cultures (not by me, I like them better short), and Thai men are thought to be short. 

[Paul Hexem]

37 minutes ago, Odie001 said:

So you were saying that asian women are attractive , but asian men are not ?

Yes 

[Resi Pfeffer]

34 minutes ago, Odie001 said:

So you were saying that asian women are attractive , but asian men are not ? (from western perspective) I know for sure that in my country it's very common to see a western man walking with a Thai woman, but in the contrary, it's very very rare to see a western woman walking with a Thai man.

Just imagine the typical "client".
He is german, about 50 years old, he lost a lot of hairs on his head but gained weight on his hips and belly, he works since 25 years in a small office and earns not that much money (for german standards), and maybe he is still virgin and lives with his mom. And maybe he has an SL account (doesnt matter if he appears to be a male or female inworld"

And now think about the typical asian women. Most of them are beautiful and gorgeous. And probably they have even less money than the german weirdo.

Do you think he feels more willing to talk to asian men or to women?

[Love Zhaoying]

22 minutes ago, Gadget Portal said:

Yes 

I’ve dated a lot of Asian men so, it could just be a matter of taste.

[Pussycat Catnap]

3 hours ago, Odie001 said:

Hello everyone, 

I have a question that I would like to have an honest and straight forward opinion from all of you. Please note that this topic is not meant to create any conflict, it is just out of my innocent curiosity. 

I am a Thai woman from Thailand, my main account is female, but i also have an alt account as a male form for the purpose of making SL machinima, but i never used him in the public. Last week i decided to try him out in the public to see how i would experience as a male avi. So, I went to Frank's Place Ballroom, and I randomly started a private conversation with 5 women there (one at a time), they were all Americans (specified in the profile). The conversations went very well as i was very polite, respectful, and no sexual at all, just general conversations. Just after about 10 lines, they asked me where i am from. So i told them that i am from Thailand. Suddenly they all went silent, no words from them after that, one of them even left the scene without saying anything.

Racism actually explains BOTH sides of your story. Why you get approached as an Asian female and avoided as an Asian male. ESPECIALLY in a place like Frank's that highly caters to an older, less likely to be internationally fluent, generation.

Western women have been trained for a very LONG time to have a highly negative bias against Asian men. At least in the USA... we get a constant barrage of BS about how Asian men are supposed to be domineering, abusive, effeminate, have small genitals, and so on.

Supposedly the belief is that all Asian women are meek passive creatures (basically the complete opposite of the truth), horribly abused and repressed, and need White Men to come rescue them... (when I lived in Asia I met a constant stream of white dudes with this fantasy) For Thai men, there is also a common joke about 'ladyboys' that pops up anytime Thai men get mentioned.

There's a reason one of the founders of the Black Panthers was an Asian man.
I grew up hearing 'Yellow-N-word' as a term, with the 'N-word' fully said, in the 1970s.

Bruce Lee seems to mark a singular point in western history where an Asian Man broke through and was seen as 'hot'. He tragically died before western media had to 'take him out' with some kind of publicity scandal.

As a quarter Asian through my paternal line I've been hearing this racist stereotype tossed my family's way my whole life. I still hear it in jokes when people forget to 'code talk' around me...

Consider that at one point in the USA it was illegal for Asian to marry, at all, period, and the ONLY profession an Asian woman was allowed to have, by law, was prostitute. If they got pregnant, they were deported to British China. SOME Asians were allowed to marry Chinese Brides as a 'victory award' after WWII, but the law against them marrying did not go away until the mid 1960s... Immigration was specifically banned for all Asians outside of work visas from the late 1800s until the mid 1960s.

There used to be a lot of 'Yellow Menace' propaganda against them - much of it targeted at the "threat" Asian men were claimed to pose... the old stereotype of 'greedy, scheming, villainous' is very similar to the slanders often thrown at the Jewish community, and has overtime converted itself to the 'model minority' idea 'good in business, intelligent, secular'... And the stuff about 'abusive towards women' and 'small genitals' is just the usual kind of hate that gets attached to any ethnic group that might pose a 'race mixing not controlled by OUR men' threat...

Personally I find Asian men can often be strikingly good looking (as did my South American grandmother and Appalachian-roots mother) and many that I've met have amazingly good manners, strong listening skills, and rarely pushy. Here in California things are changing. Most of the Anti-Asian racism STARTED here... but this place rapidly changed after the 1960s, and now I even often see Asian men with women of other races.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Pussycat Catnap

[RisingGrace]

I find some of these posts sad my brother in real is internationally married to a woman that is from a different country yet my brother is white US citizen in my opinion it is really the mind of the individual not the whole of what they are willing to accept in other people to some skin color ethnicity does not matter for me I could not care what country you came from I love my sis in law now speaking of SL I find people tend to judge or precieve without getting to know someone based of preconcieved ideals or notions that society has played a part in you see its easy to sit there and say all these things are why but at the end of the day people are scared of what they do not understand and it is much harder online than in real to gage if someone is here for genuine purposes or for other reasons so that needs to be taken into account so many will walk away not even giving people a chance in order to protect themselves and how their SL is being played I find it sad yet i also understand it too 

[Callum Meriman]

1 hour ago, Odie001 said:

Please note that the 5 people i met them consecutively  (one following another), no gap of other people in between them. It's not like 5 people in different occasions. They were all in the same time, same place, same occasion. 5 out of 5.

Well, I was trying to be nice to the Americans, and suggest they had left racism behind in the 1950s.

[Phil Deakins]

25 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I’ve dated a lot of Asian men so, it could just be a matter of taste.

In RL or SL? The reason I ask is because I think there's a big perceived difference between people living 'next door', so to speak, and those living in their ancestral countries, such as Thailand.

I find the things that have been been posted in this thread to be very sad, and some of it is very surprising to me, but I do recognise some of the stuff that's been posted in it.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Phil Deakins

[Love Zhaoying]

5 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

In RL or SL? The reason I ask is because I think there's a big perceived difference between people living 'next door', so to speak, and those living in their ancestral countries, such as Thailand.

I find the things that have been been posted in this thread to be very sad, and some of it is very surprising to me, but I do recognise some of the stuff that's been posted in it.

RL.

[Bitsy Buccaneer]

2 hours ago, Odie001 said:

Please note that the 5 people i met them consecutively  (one following another), no gap of other people in between them. It's not like 5 people in different occasions. They were all in the same time, same place, same occasion.

All five were still in Frank's and Frank's is.... Well, I wouldn't use it as a norm for any kind of study.

There could also be another explanation, like someone with a male av who says he's from Thailand has been causing trouble there and it was assumed you were his alt. I experienced a version of that on a dating site, though the bloke was more likely bored than out to cause trouble.

But bottom line, all five occurences were in Frank's and Frank's is strange.

 

Edited March 21, 2018 by Bitsy Buccaneer

[Qie Niangao]

Far be it from me to deny the existence of racism, but we have extraordinarily scant data from which to draw any conclusions about anything here.

At the simplest, we have a female trying to play a male publicly in SL, apparently for the first few times, with limited success. Sure, each time the limit was evident just when geography was mentioned. And sure, there's some association between that geography and race. But that doesn't prove race was the reason for the reaction -- especially inasmuch as this avatar has been in view the whole time, so if the avatar's "race" is a problem, why did it only arise when the topic shifts to specific geography?

I'm not suggesting that there's some widespread reaction to Thai geopolitics or something, but we seem content to ascribe the reaction to "race" despite that hypothesis having no better support by objective data from this situation.

Also, before going too far down this path, I'd want to establish that this female would have better success portraying a male avatar from somewhere not especially associated with any particular race. Cleveland, perhaps.

[Orfeu Miles]

It always amazes me how everyone seems to know so much about Thailand, compared to its neighbours...Laos for example...or Cambodia.
The people with the strongest opinions on Thailand have often never visited it, and get their info from bottom feeding news sources.
I am a Brit who has lived in Thailand for 6 years, Thailand is a large country...about the same size as France...its people are hard-working...courteous...kind hearted.

There is a tiny criminal element here, probably the same as in your country, but overall it is the nature of the people that makes so many holiday-makers return over and over again.

On my island I see many young western girls dating young Thai men...I also see many older western men with older Thai ladies...all of this is far from the ignorant stereotypes propagated by the gutter press.
 

I guess people only see what they want to see.

[Syo Emerald]

Now that I think about it...I've never met anyone (knowingly) from Thailand. Neither men nor women. So I assume its probably not the behavior of men from Thailand in Second Life, that caused those women to suddenly not be so interested in talking to you anymore. My gut feeling is also, that the type of place that Frank's is and the type of people that usually go there has a strong impact on how those conversations turned out.

Some people have opinions about countries. Some of those opinions are very strong and misguided.

[Sig Shinn]

To this day in cosmopolitan San Francisco with a vibrant Asian Community, it is common to see a Western man walking with an Asian girl. But, whispers abound about seeing the mysterious 'Unicorn'- an Asian man with a Western girl. Some chalk it up to protective Asian mothers concerned about their lineage.

[Janet Voxel]

I respond to IMs equally. Conversations that give off a trolly or “U beautiful, we sex now” vibe or even the old “Come over here...”

In other words, people I respond to best are people I can have an actual conversation with.

I’m sure I’m not the only one.

[Rhonda Huntress]

7 hours ago, Callum Meriman said:

Being in a male body instead of your normal gender, you could be noticing other things too, the dynamic is quite different.

I don't think it has to do with your country as much as the time zones.

Human Sexuality 101:  Men think short term and women think long term.  That 6 hour (more or less) time difference can be hard on a relationship. But to a man's point of view, you are here right now so you will always be here right now. 

Does that make sense?  You could tell them you are from Kazakhstan and I doubt the reactions but be much difference.

[Qie Niangao]

9 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

“U beautiful, we sex now”

Maybe, after ASL, that's the next male line of the script at Frank's.

[Ceka Cianci]

5 different women at the same club? Not too wide of a range there really..

Could it be that you are used to it being easier as a woman in general vs being a man? Men usually have to put in a bit more effort than we do from what I gather..

Have you tried other clubs? You could have wandered into a clique..

 

[Lindal Kidd]

I think you are asking the wrong question.  You should be asking yourself, "What is wrong with the women at Frank's?"

I'm not being facetious here, I am quite serious.  Could it be that the ladies who go to Frank's to get picked up are prone to prejudice?  If so, why?  I can think of a number of reasons, but they all boil down to, "these are not the sort of people you really want to know anyway."

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I think you are asking the wrong question.  You should be asking yourself, "What is wrong with the women at Frank's?"

I'm not being facetious here, I am quite serious.  Could it be that the ladies who go to Frank's to get picked up are prone to prejudice?  If so, why?  I can think of a number of reasons, but they all boil down to, "these are not the sort of people you really want to know anyway."

Agree, title makes it sound as if poster thinks there is something wrong with Thai men!

There’s nothing wrong with Thai men, I’ve personally checked!