[[Template core/front/global/favico is throwing an error. This theme may be out of date. Run the support tool in the AdminCP to restore the default theme.]] Jump to content

Virtual relationship


Guest
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 3418 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

I mean a relationship is not like Facebook right where you can sign in or out whenever you want right?

But that's all I do: the virtual sign in sign out.   I sign in to second life and she is always there to greet me.  I sign on to twitter and she is always there with a tweet.   I sign in to facebook and she is always there with a message on my wall.  I log into skype and it immediately rings - she is always there.  I login to my gmail she is always there requesting a chat.  I turn on my iphone and she is there with several text msgs, a voice mail and tweets.   I'm on shelfari books and she is always there discussing my books.  I play WoW and she is in my guild - she is always there.  I sign in to myspace and she is always there.  I sign into this forum and she is always there.  I sign into my blog and she always leaves a comment - even if i didn't write anything - she is always there.  

We have never met in RL, but we spend 14 hours a day in the electronic and virtual worlds.

I no longer date in RL - why should I?  She is always there!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well .. that's one problem with Alts .. huh? *wink*

Are you sure it's not a case of stalking? That really does sound like a relationship driven by obsession, not by passion. I guess it depends on her perspective.

If she's thinking "I sign in to _____ and he's never there" then probably it's leaning toward stalking. But if instead she's thinking "I sign in to _____ and he's always there" .. then it's probably more a constructive and supportive relationship.

How does she feel about it? Have you asked?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm going to ride on the coat tail of Darrius for my response was going to be pretty much the same.  This does not sound like a healthy relationship to me.  Hide your bunny, for if ever you should not log into one of these mediums, she will hunt you down in real life, and she'll never let you out of her sight, not for one minute.

On the plus side, at least neither of you will catch a disease or smell each other's farts!

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Upon seeing the title/author, I thought he is like a machine.

Kinda cool how you speak of the grid/net/systems as she.

Yes, it is virtually always there to answer interest or excite.

Moderation is one of the keys to longevity.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 


Storm Clarence wrote:

 

Darrius Gothly wrote:

How does she feel about it? Have you asked?

Feel?  I don't want to know her 'feelings'.  We exist "together" in electronic form - I don't want my phone or computer to have feelings. 

 

 

Ahhh ... *ding* I get it now. "She" isn't a specific person, she is a generic term for the connections you achieve via your electronic paraphernalia.

in THAT case .. dude! You are saving a TON of money on chocolates, dinners and "I'm sorry I was an idiot" apology presents.

Link to post
Share on other sites

i think adding a sexual factor to all communication is giving sex too much importance. sex is just a small fraction of ourselves that we only share with a few people, while communicating goes beyond all people we have talked to.

one time someone told me that love and sex were the same, i disagree completely because i love my father and i dont have any desire to have sex with him.

sex is not that important. not even in love that is a fraction of communication.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The terms "virtual" and "real" have largely outlived their usefulness. They imply a binary "EITHER/OR" opposite when the two are in fact much more of a gradiated spectrum. Someday, I suspect we'll have celebrated the singularity and exist in a world of post-pixel consciousness that is as unbelievable to our reach now, as we are to cavemen.

Link to post
Share on other sites

[[[ The terms "virtual" and "real" have largely outlived their usefulness. They imply a binary "EITHER/OR" opposite when the two are in fact much more of a gradiated spectrum ]]]

I understand the reality spectrum you are talking about BUT

   When we lose track of what's real, we lose sanity.  Sanity is being HERE, in the natural world of Earth, same as our dog. Granted, the world isn't totally rational all the time BUT it is part of the Astronomical Cosmos whether we understand it all or not.

  I think this topic is an excellent one. I just had a crush in sl and she found a bf and it was a heart bruise.  I have feelings for avatars, just like a fell in love with Liz TAylor and she was nothing but the reflection of moving lights on a canvas screen. But boy, how she could move those lights.!

Link to post
Share on other sites

 


Beanstalkr wrote:

<snip>

  I think this topic is an excellent one. I just had a crush in sl and she found a bf and it was a heart bruise.  I have feelings for avatars, just like a fell in love with Liz TAylor and she was nothing but the reflection of moving lights on a canvas screen. But boy, how she could move those lights.!

 

I, too, thought it was an excellent topic. :-)

I had/have a crush on a forum avatar as well, and she, too, just go married - in RL :-(

But boy, how she could move those lights. :-|

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

My avi's in love. He got a gf and set some ground rules.

I want to keep rl and sl separate so we agreed; no direct contact between the avatars' motivars such as emails and exchanging texture photos of faces. We use each others' rl first names when we want to directly communicate, which is seldom and we do not know each others last names.

I suggested to her owner, her motivar as i call it, that we use the term "indirect love" for the feelings that us human operators may develop for each other. Its like the old English "courtly love" its pure and chaste from afar like in the song The Impossible Dream from The Man from La Mancha.

To me, this means that no crime or sin is committed in rl. The sl game stays a game when there is no direct contact between actors. The emotions the game engenders are game emotions provided by a video media mechanism.

Boundaries and separations can keep sl romance in sl where it belongs. [hopefully ;-]

Link to post
Share on other sites

SL can be addictive and SL Romance in particular can get out of hand for some people.  Just as a person needs to know him/herself well enough to judge whether they can be trusted to go to into  a bar and have a couple of cocktails or perhaps stay clear away, the same thing applies to SL.  

I've not had any problems keeping SL romance in SL and maintaining strong boundries, between SL and RL, but I've experienced many a RL person I've been friends with in SL who claim to be married with kids in RL, get too emeshed in a SL romance/friendship.  In some cases these people admit to attempts to glean whatever RL info they can get on the other person and other stalkish types of activities.  I'm not talking about aquiring  info for self-protection.  I mean obessive need to know the RL info about the other person once they got hooked into the relationship and found the other party withdrawing.

I do think directly outlining "rules of engagement" is an excellent idea...and the more specific the better.  Personally, I've not had any problems maintaining proper emotional distance, but I have experienced situations where I felt it was wise to disconnect because the other person started to ask too many leading questions or discuss RL to enough  an extent that I was concerned about over-involvement by the other party.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...