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SL vs RL - general thoughts


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For me Second life is a wast social phenomenon of the new era. Some place people can be whoever they want and do almost everything they want. But still, there are some real emotions can be involved. It scared the hell out of me back in 2009 and I preferred to run from it. Now, I have some general thoughts about mixing or keeping separate SL and RL. Is it even possible? Here is a short questionnaire, you can answer some, or all questions, just interesting how different people see it.

1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

Thanks for participation!

 

 

Edited by Karina Leborski
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I've tried to talk about SL to some people who are close to me about SL, but after a while I realized that they thought I was playing with dolls. I was talking about a house I built, and they thought, doll house, and the cool clothes in SL, and they thought doll clothes. In the end they were silently laughing at me, just as if I was saying, "You can be a barbie doll! And the barbie doll walks around! And there are other barbie dolls that you can talk to from all around the world! And you can dress them up and they can live in barbie houses and drive barbie cars..."

Also, after the American version of The Office had its dorkiest character using Second Life, most of the people I worked with laugh at it even though they know almost nothing about it. Which is manifestly unfair, since they spend hours and hours playing Pokemon online and other games.

So, I don't talk about it.  Also, my husband thinks it's some kind of perverted thing. The last time he peeked at my screen, my clothes hadn't rezzed yet, and he said, "I see why you like it."

I do behave differently in SL than RL. I definitely dress differently: I would *never* wear a lot of my SL clothes in RL unless I had bodyguards and dark glasses. Although I'm pretty open to people in RL, I'm a lot more open in SL, because relationships aren't as dangerous in SL. Or relationships, friendships are potentially more dangerous in RL.

SL has definitely changed me in RL. I have tried some things in SL that I haven't been able to do in RL. I've never been on a motorcycle in RL, but in SL I've got my own, and I've ridden on the back of someone else's bike. I've done skydiving in SL, but not in RL. I've tried other things, too, and though I know they aren't real, they felt real enough that I kind of feel I've crossed them off my list of things to do.

 

Edited by kershe
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18 minutes ago, kershe said:

the American version of The Office had its dorkiest character using Second Life,

We are all that character.

18 minutes ago, kershe said:

my husband thinks it's some kind of perverted thing

Where could he possibly get that idea?

 

33E84FE8-CE5E-48BF-85A5-B8F0DEAA9AAE.jpeg

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL? Depends who i am talking with. Usually i am open to only very close friends.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL? no

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive? SL is addictive but i take breaks when i need to. My longest break was 4 years long when i didnt log in even once.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way? hm it didnt change anything. I have found that i behave the same way i do in rl. 

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? Yes , i think its still cheating. I have a boyfriend in rl and i am faithful to him in my sl too. Guys often tell me: "Hey, its ok its secondlife" and i tell them to gtfo.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you? The Friendships i have made.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline? No, unless i argued with someone and logged off without clearing things up. Then yes, it would bother me and not let me sleep.

Edited by Jeny Howlett
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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? yes, Are you open about RL with people in SL? to a point, Do you tell your RL friends about SL? no

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL? yes

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? probably to much, Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? when RL doesn't give me much time for SL, I don't spend much time in SL, Do you think SL is addictive? No, *nervous laugh as eye twitches uncontrollably.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? A little, In a good or in a  bad way? it has helped me to me more expressive of my artistic side.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? it can, but it doesn't have to be. Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? i think so.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you? being able to let loose without being worried about what others think.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline? not any more than I think about RL things.

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Hi lets see

Quote

 

1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL? 

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

 

1. SL and RL are mixing very often, yes i´m open about RL with FRIENDS! No not telling RL people about SL, if they do not know it it´s pointless

2. No, i can do things impossible in RL (jobs, dances ...) but else it´s me

3. I have spend more time in SL than good but suddenly a few things put me off SL and now i´m very rare online

4. Yes it did in good and bad (do not ask ;))

5. SL only is impossible for me because i do not RP feelings, that´s why SL relations are hard to manage when they go too deep

6. It was do things i cannot do in RL

7. Yes 

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?
• I keep them quite apart, telling about my RL just some basic things. Some RL friends know that I'm in SL but we never talk about it.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?
• I'm still me in SL, but I surely can act and sometimes indeed do act differently.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?
• Yes, I spend a lot of time in SL, but RL demands come always first. Sure, SL is very addictive.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?
• I think that SL has changed my RL self in some ways positively. I'm more relaxed among people.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?
• It's relaxing other world with lots of interesting things to see and do.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?
• Occasionally I think about some nice things what has happened in SL. Not a lot anyway.

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

-I don't typically discuss SL with RL other than my husband who is convinced everyone logs on for a grid wide orgy.   He doesn't understand the freedom to have all these clothes, and jewelry, awesome wigs & perfect manicures- that I could never afford in the RW.  I am open to a point about my RL with friends in SL- a few are in my RL via FB, gift exchanges, phone calls, skyping etc.   

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?  

-I'm WAY more outgoing in SL.  It no doubt is the perception of myself that I project to others.  IMO my avi is perfect and gorgeous, and she is certainly more witty & humerous. 

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive? 

-I don't think SL is addictive (for me) but I've allowed it to become habitual.  Due to RL health constraints for a long time I wasn't able to enjoy simple things like a night at the movies or a trip to the park.  So being at home, on the sofa with Netflix on & Pixie logged in on my laptop became a lot of my life, my way of existing outside my home.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

-No doubt I've learned a lot about others ways of life thru SL (& lots of sexy times things I don't think I'd ever be exposed to without SL).  I do know even if I don't like to admit it, that I allowed SL to take the place of my writing- I once had plans of being self published in the bored housewife romance genre online.  

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble?  

-Clearly that depends on that SLers partner, and their understanding of their relationship.  I know some couples come on together to swing and swap and explore separately.  .  They may or may not fill the other then.  There are then those that sneak on while the RL significant other isn't looking, and logs without notice... we all know why.  I think for those people, they would consider what they are doing to be adultery.  For myself, I have an odd RL situation and I honestly don't feel comfortable slapping the explanation down here :) 

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

-Oh I could be virtuous and say "my friends" and of course they are important, but my friends list is small and I might go 3-4 days without actually speaking to anyone.   So I think for me it is the Barbie doll wardrobe & sunny beaches and quaint English countryside ready for my enjoyment at the click of the mouse.  

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

-Eh, not deliberately- maybe if some drama flared up.

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

Well, I spend my real time in SL, so it is in my opinion impossible to keep them totally apart. I usually behave similar way in both, but I am less open about facts from my real life, because I don't think they should matter, especially when I have just met someone. It also depends on the nature of possible relation.

I tell my RL friends about SL only if they ask. But they don't.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

Not so much, as I said. I don't pretend to be someone else however I visit clubs, venues, different places more often in SL than RL because it is simpler

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

I don't think so. There are weeks when I am online every evening but there are months when I am not online even for one hour. If RL demands, I spend my time in RL and it is not a problem. Yes, SL can be addictive but it is not my addiction. 

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

It might but I am not aware of that. But I'd say no, it doesn't affect me. 

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

I think it is possible, depending how the relationship is defined. There are people in rp-relationships, there are others who are in open relationships in RL etc so I don't believe it is easy to say when it is cheating and when it is not. I personally don't have much experience, I don't get involved much. 

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

Freedom of choice.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

Not really.

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I keep them apart.

I am much more political in RL than in SL. Also SL is very 'ethnic' of an ethnic group ("white people") that I don't see as much of in RL where they are not that numerous and those here are radically different due to multiculturalism - I have to 'code talk' a lot more in SL or deal with freakouts when I speak more openly. Plus because SL is so 'ethnic' from my POV, there are a lot of things like fashion, decor, and music styles that I just don't see in RL where I am. I couldn't replicate that in my RL even if I tried. For me SL is a bit like a 'National Geographic portal' into gawking at what white people look/act like when 'not around the rest of us' (aka: what they're like outside of California I suppose). I find many situations in SL where I am sitting there thinking "I have no idea how to respond to that... that was just totally weird" - in terms of just "different", not in terms of discrimination. More like somebody saying 2+2=green - your mental frame expected one thing but you got something wholly different. There's a vast list of things I do do in SL that reflect idealized fantasizes about how I wish the world lived in RL, but do not attempt at all in RL. Things that in RL would make a target of somebody's "panic attack at that freaky person of color" (even here in Cali) and invite armed attention...

Not spending as much time lately. My social circle in SL has dwindled down to 'contacts' after drifting apart from early friends and one friend passing away. So even when on I'm usually not active. Just kind of on my own on my SL lands.

SL did effect my RL in a major way... a notecard I once picked up 'filled a gap' in my understanding of Reggae... that led me to understand what 'Rasta' was, and then to realize that I had been one since my teens... curiously since about the time I first heard Reggae. So SL... outed my RL 'religion' to myself... But the notecard... really just got me to the point where I had an itch to scratch and went out in RL to find out how to scratch it. Going back to how I act in SL vs RL... the whole nude and xxx aspect of my SL, is NOT something that would sit well with this aspect of my RL... Almost everyday in SL my fingers hover over the delete button for every aspect of that side of my SL... and then I decide this is a safe way to blend two radically different aspects of my personality.

I don't do SL relationships and never have. Not even back in the days when my circle of 'friend friends' was large. I've lost a friend or two over refusing, but I am fine with that. I do not need to get my emotions confused between my RL and a 'video game'. I am fully open to friendships, but that's where I hold the line.

Not really sure why SL matters to me. It does... but it's not easy to codify.

Really don't care what other people are doing in SL when I'm not online. It's not like I need to have all my mesh body friends gearing up for a raid on the new tier of Furry Castle or something... or preparing for a PvP match against the system bodiers... so... why worry. On the other hand, I don't exactly turn off my security orb when I go offline... Too much hassle, and I don't need someone starting to squat in my skybox and thinking they belong there when I come on.

 

EDIT: On phrasing. If you wonder why I use phrases like 'ethnic' to describe white culture, and note how SL is like a 'National Geographic outing' for me. Consider how often you will see things labeled as 'ethnic' when referring to non-whites, or how we get called 'exotic' for frankly... just being our normal everyday selves. I'm not 'ethnic' or 'exotic', I'm a person that gets up in the morning, has breakfast, does my daily routine - works, food, family, etc, and goes to sleep at night...

 

Edited by Pussycat Catnap
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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?  I keep them apart, mostly, except with close friends in SL. With everyone else I will talk in a very general way about my RL but nothing specific. I've told a couple of RL friends about SL, but those who aren't gamers think its weird and those who are gamers think it's boring.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL? Not really, no. I'm just much better looking in SL.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?  I think I spend about 6-8 hours a week on average, and yes I definitely spend less time if RL demands it. (i.e; I would be in SL more often if I had more time).

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?  SL itself hasn't but several of the people I've met have, for sure. I have met some very wonderful and inspirational people here. I've been a supporter of Virtual Ability in SL for many years and I love how it gives freedom to people who aren't able to access the same freedoms in RL due to physical limitations.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble?  I think what makes this problematic is when you get up to things that make your RL partner unhappy. It's not adultery if all people involved are aware and comfortable with whatever is happening. If you have to hide it, it's adultery. Personally, I can't do it. I've stopped having romantic relationships in SL since getting involved with someone in RL, because I don't feel that it would be fair on my RL partner. But I know other people who can make it work in a way that everyone is happy.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?  Half of it is the people, and the other half is being able to express my more magical/pagan/spiritual side, which I've been doing more in SL lately.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?  Very rarely. 

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?
I keep them separate but also, I don't separate who I am.  I am open in SL, to a point and sometimes I get the feeling it is a point farther than Clover is comfortable with.   My RL friends know I am in SL.  My RL acquaintances don't matter.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?
About some things, yes I do act differently.  I don't buy random strangers gifts in RL.  Otherwise I like to think my personality is the same.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?
Not recently no, I haven't been spending much time in SL.  It goes in cycles for. Soon I will be in world for 4 to 8 hours a day every day again.  It depends on my obsessive swing ....

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?
SL is part of my RL.  I have met wildly different people in disparate cultures and they have all changed me in their own little ways.  Once you pile all of this extra knowledge and experiences that I would never get in RL, how can anyone say they have not changed?

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 
Ah, the old "is it cheating" question.  If any one who is involved feels like it is cheating, then it is.  HOWEVER, it does not fit the definition of adultery so no.  Finally, just like any poly relationship, yes you can if all those involved agree and you communicate with each other.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?
Mesh boobs!
Actually, people. What I love most about SL is the ability to meet and chat with people from all different places and cultures and learn a little about what life is like for them and realizing just how much we are all the same no matter haw different we are.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?
Yes.  I do.  I think about fun time, arguments, fights, holding Clover, where I want to go in SL, what I want to do in SL and I even dream about SL all the time

 

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL? Yes but at one point I did not. I am open but no one really ever asks. Sure I tell them.. 

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL? No unfortunately, I had hoped it would help with a lack of social skills, but I found it is just the same as in RL. Awkward and extremely click driven.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive? I spend less time lately, it has become a bit boring for me.  Same people, same high school drama...

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way? I dance a lot better in rl now.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble?  Yes and No.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?  not much anymore.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?  Yes. 

 

Thanks for participation!

 

 You're welcome.

 

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?
    I share certain parts of my rl self in SL with SL friends, up to a point. My husband and kids, and a few close friends know that I spend time here. Only my family really understands it... sort of. Friends just shrug and accept it with a simple "Ok."

They're all cool about it, even if some of them don't really understand it.

   But, I don't really need any of them to understand it.  I know what SL is for me. And YOU guys understand it. That's enough for me.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?
   I don't. I'm just as quirky, dorky, stable, sensitive, sane, and wonky in Real Space®. It never occurred to me to try to act differently. As shy as I was at first, I probably couldn't have anyway.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?
   I believe SL is addictive. I used to spend A LOT of time online. I'd send my kids off to school, take a 30 minute walk, feed the cat, and it was off to the races. But then I got a job. Stupid money. grumble grumble

   There's a part of a song which pretty much sums it up, in my head at least:

    I used to be consumed for hours
   Without consequence
   Burning at both ends
   With blasphemous indifference

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?
   SL definitely changed me, in a good way. I'm an introvert (INFP) . SL brought me further out of my shell than I would have thought possible. I'm more confident. I talk to random people now more than ever in the past. I can actually make conversation, letting out the words that used to remain stuck inside my head, bouncing around. I will still sometimes stand awkwardly at parties, unsure of what to do or say. I just feel less weird about myself for it. I'm ok with me.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 
   In any relationship, If anyone feels they have something to hide, they need to reconsider what they're doing, and why. Even in an honest, open, hybrid virtual/non-virtual polyamory.... thing, there is inherent risk. Emotions are unpredictable. The answer to "can you stay out of trouble" will depend on the individual(s).

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?
   The People. I came to SL, to this virtual world, for its promise. I stayed for the people. I come back again and again, for the people.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?
   I think about the things that have happened, the things that will happen, and things that could happen, things I hope might happen. I stay awake at night sometimes thinking about what I have in SL. Sometimes, it's enough. Sometimes it's not.

 

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

I kinda have to... Kasha is sitting on a beachthemed parcel in Tshirt and skirt - I´m beneath my heating on full power, looking at snow, Kasha is 6ft...8ish I think (which was a realistic height difference to the average male shape in 2011-13), I´m 5ft4... and chubby which she´s not.... we do have the same eyes though...
I am open to quite some point I think and well quite a lot of know about my SL cos I use my SL pics as a reference ever so often

 

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

I try in some parts... I see Akasha as a Character... a PART of me... I always said (or say for my other chars) Kasha is Alex but Alex is more than Kasha... Sometimes she´s what I want to be or consider cool but don´t need that myself (Coyote Ugly style bartending comes to mind... Kasha and one other char of mine did that - I used Kasha´s looks for Rhian^^). I wouldn´t dress like that (I wear ONE model of jeans, ONE bra-model, usually ONE brand of knickers, Shirts... so usually my RL clothes shopping is like "walk in... how many, this and this colour, GTFO), though I noticed I don´t put Kasha in too sexy clothes anymore, use dresses as shirts.... Uh and Kasha did dance, gogo, too - I wouldn´t even enter fetish clubs (basically- if they have any dresscode I tell them where to shove it ) let alone dance (when I still went to clubs my "dancing" was basically this back and forth walking, no weird arm moving included - i HATE that )...HM ... I noticed a change in that for Kasha, too...Plus I try to use dances with little arm movement, too nobody wants to see pits no matter how well shaven or not ...just NO^^

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

Did, Didn´t, Do-ish... I can now and it kinda is, yeah

I mean back in 2011/12 I blogged myself into depression borderlining burnout... 3-4 posts back to back,  promo for each post seperately in IDK how many SL fashion FB groups... damn I was on that posestand for 12-18 hrs a day ,I didn´t go near SL in 2014-17 after some disgusting RL breakup followed by my PC just being too old

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

I´ve learned a lot about other cultures, lifestyles, and then... as I mentioned my chars are all part of me, Kasha is my oldest char. We tried things I tought about (SL is a safe environment for that, spech for first attempts of trying), Kasha became more socially awkward and weird, she influenced my other characters in some way or another, other characters influence her... not as much for all of them, but spech the aforementioned Rhian... she´s the reason why I kept quite a number of system stuff and need to be able to switch to a very certain look at once (= if I need new pics xD)

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

meh idk... seen too much, had both in the past, the last one was with the same guy (goes for all my chars, damn my poor twi'lek had to have an accident with amnesia so I could split that happy perfect couple up , nowadays well... I tend to mention my RL bf a ...lot.... *coughs* and he´s very interested in my SL but doesn´t want his own. I don´t have the time nor energy for an SL relationship, flirting, any kind of SLex so Kasha is becoming an asexual

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

there´s VERY little limits lookswise which makes it a great creative outlet for me

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

I know they do... effs sake I get 25group notices and that annoying thing "too many instant messages" EVERY time I sign on A lot of places are actually quite lively in my night hours, concerts and what have you, parties...

 

 

 

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

I do tell everyone in RL about SL! (They already think i'm nuts so why not?!). I am open about RL, to a point, with those I consider friends, but I do keep a lot of RL to RL as I need to use SL as an escape.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

Not really, other than I have no worries landing in a bar full of drunk men when alone, and I don't use an umbrella if it rains. I can't get my humour across so easily by text wheras RL people all say I make them laugh a lot.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

I spend *way* too long in SL, but I definitely can spend less time here when I need to. I do think it can be kinda addictive yeah

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

Yes, it has. In a good way, because I get to meet guys and have almost no interaction with them RL (friends or to chat, not relationships). Bad because I have extremely severe communication & emotion regulation issues RL, and struggle to understand by text (& everyone I chat to uses text only sadly). It can cause a lot of misunderstanding and extreme pain.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

Yep, I do think it can be & while it's possible, I guess, to manage both with no problems, if anything is hidden then I think in the end it probably will come out

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

Being able to have some social life and the people I call friends

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

Yes, because the people in SL are real people and I do care a lot about those i'm friends with

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

I separate what needs separating, as it needs it. I share what I feel I need, or want, to share. I have rl friends that know about sl. If the topic comes up somewhere, I have no qualms discussing it with other people.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

Um, in the activities I participate in, yes. I'm a chicken ***** in rl, I have never been on an airplane, I don't skydive, I don't go bungee jumping. There are loads of things I can do in sl that I cannot do in rl. But, I'm still me, I don't change who I am in sl, if that makes any sense at all. I still have the same feelings, the same emotions, the same responses, etc...as Tari does.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

I used to, I don't anymore, I have too many other things to do. When I did, and do, if rl has demands, rl gets taken care off and sl can sod off. I don't think sl is addictive, it isn't for me, and I don't think it is for most other people either.  I think a lot of people make it seem so, and I can understand why, they're very strongly attached, so I get it. I am strongly attached too, but not to the point that I'd ever let ANYTHING else take precedence over rl, ever, no matter what.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

Yes, in both positive and negative ways, far more positive, however. Mostly due to the people I've met, encountered, chatted with, discussed with even on these forums, etc..

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

Yes, I do believe the vast majority of cases are indeed adultery. I can't speak to them all, but I believe those that are not, are a teeny tiny minority, barely negligible, often shrugged off with the "it's just sl" mantra. I would also like to say that an sl only relationship has never interested me, and never would. I don't think most people can pull it off, either, hence the countless stories we hear and read about...primarily due to the answer I gave to the first part. Some folks can, but, again, negligible portion of folks, at best. I think far too many people look for "sl only", without thinking of potential repercussions, or even attaching any repercussions at all to it even after thinking about them briefly....goes back to the whole "kit's only sl" thing, again. Then again, what do I know, I'm an oddball when it comes to relationships and I certainly have my own biases and opinions when it comes to relationships, both rl and online.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

People, but not always in the positive sense. Just, people, coming together for what seems like ages now, all over the world, in a virtual environment. The combination of all their imaginations has made sl such an amazing place, even when it feels uber empty. I've also met some amazing folks in sl, had the great pleasure of being able to work collaboratively with them on various projects, share my own visions and enthusiasm while enjoying their's, so, I guess, just people and what people are capable of. I love being able to create, and without people, that would be impossible, so there's that too.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

I think fondly back to a lot of things that have happened in sl, I've even had negative thoughts about negative things that have happened. I wouldn't say the latter happens a lot, but the former, all the time. That is to say, I like having fond memories, and I cherish them frequently. But, I do the same in rl too, I fond;y think back to prior events all the time, especially from a visual perspective. I have a lot to take in after all, because at some point, there will be no incoming new visual memories to think fondly upon.  I savor each and every one I have, from seeing the smallest speck of annoying dirt or dust, to seeing mountains in the background, from the tiniest little pixel in sl, to the greatest sims I have ever set my eyes upon. I don't think I am explaining this all that well, and I highly doubt I could...but yes, I do think about sl frequently, just not likely in the way you intended with the question, certainly not to the point that it has some kind of negative impact on rl, or anything like that.

 

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Hello,

First, excuse my english and may be some misunderstanding ;)

1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?
Yes. For reasons that I explain in the 2.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?
Yes. A personality is made up of several faces. RL according to the character of each we show a few rarely. For various reasons but in general to stay in the norm. That's my case. This is also one of the reasons why I prefer RP. But I also have "friends" SL who know about me some things RL but I avoid giving information too personal because if I had to meet them RL our relations would be distorted I think.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?
I stay inked in the RL. I favor my RL friends. But let's say that I have periods where I would be more connected than others

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?
Currently not ;)

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 
There is no simple answer. It all depends on the step back that we take with SL

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?
This allows me to open the cage of some of my impulses and meet and meet personalities that I would not cross RL

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?
No when I'm offline...I'm offline ;)

++

Edited by Eurythmia
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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL? My SL and my RL stay completely separate.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL? I don’t think so, I am rather quiet in both places.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive? I am just over ten years old and I log into SL every day. I can only think of a couple time when I was traveling that I did not log in, and I don’t travel much.  And RL always comes first.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a bad way? No changes as far as I can tell.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? For all those people that scream from the mountain tops that SL is not a game, then yes it can be considered adultery, relationships are not a game. I’m married and don’t do relationships in SL.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you? In a word, fun.

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline? No.

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Thanks everybody for participation and sharing the deep stuff. Didn't expect to so many answers to it :) I'll answer the questions myself too:

1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

I care for my identity, will never go to skype/ Facebook, etc. out of SL. I do share some parts of my RL to some extent. In RL few people know about me being on SL, and most of them don’t know what it is really, 2 of them tried it themselves in the past. Anyway, I don’t share too many details.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

More outgoing, more talkative, willing to try more things. But overall, it’s pretty much me, I think. I try also not to hurt any one and act with respect.

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

For me it is addictive, but I have it for all kind of other things too, I can be addicted to Sims 3, or some cool computer game. I just LOVE nice 3D graphics. And yes, I spend less time if I have stuff in RL.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a bad way?

Wasn’t there enough to tell. But it is a window for new experiences and learning about different cultures, which is cool.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? 

I wouldn’t do both, seems wrong to me.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

Meeting interesting people from all over the world, I wouldn’t be able to do it otherwise. Hearing new music, learning new things. And of course, looking cool and customization ? I just love this stuff, can spend hours on it )

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

For now, yes, but it’s still fresh for me after 8.5 years of pause. I think it will gradually calm down.

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1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? Are you open about RL with people in SL? Do you tell your RL friends about SL?

  • I keep SL and RL separated as much as possible
  • Closer friends I am quite open about what I do in RL and such. I will never mention any detail though that would make it possible to ever be used to figure out my RL identity.
  • No one in RL knows I play SL because of the terrible reputation it has, and the google results it will give do not make that much better. There's no need for it anyway.

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL?

  • Yes. I am quite introvert and shy in RL (in private, not in business), I use SL to express myself in ways that I could  never do in RL. And even though I run a business in RL and SL both, the SL one is basically running a whore house. Very different than RL ;)

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Do you think SL is addictive?

  • I spend a lot of time in it yes, but it is by choice
  • I can spend less time if I would feel the need or would not enjoy SL. The time I spend in SL now I would otherwise spend watching Netflix, TV or other in home entertainment.

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? In a good or in a  bad way?

  • It provides a platform for entertainment, stress relieve and fills in certain social needs. So I would say yes slightly, in a good way.

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble?

  • I think the answer to this is any case is, do you have to keep the SL relationship hidden from your RL one? Yes? Then its adultery. No? then its not. And same the other way around.

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you?

  • The social aspect
  • The creative outlet

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline?

  • Usually not really, unless something really unsettling happened.
  • I do sometimes think about my business in SL, on how to approve, new ideas and such. But those are "planned" moments to think about it (shower thoughts!), its not that SL thoughts just randomly pop up in my mind all day or keep me occupied.
  • I do check and keep up with the SL forums from work every now and then. But that again is a chosen moment where otherwise I would probably do something else on internet to take my minds of work for a moment.
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On 16/03/2018 at 5:51 PM, Karina Leborski said:

1. Do you keep SL apart from RL? No

Are you open about RL with people in SL? Yes

Do you tell your RL friends about SL? Yes

2. Do you act very differently in SL than in RL? No

3. Do you spend a lot of time in SL? Yes

Do you think you can spend less time, if RL demands it? Yes

Do you think SL is addictive? No

4. Do you think SL affected or changed your RL self? No

In a good or in a  bad way? n/a

5. Do you think SL only relationship can be considered as an RL adultery? Yes

Can you manage both relationship without getting in trouble? n/a

6. What is the most important thing there is about SL for you? Don't know

7. Do you think a lot about things that happened in SL when you are offline? No

Thanks for participation! y/w

 

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