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Scaramouche Dryke

Have you been a Victim?

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Luck of the draw. It’s the same in RL without the TPing. Real people are behind the avatar, so... how do you approach your RL relationships? Everyone has been a “victim” at some point.

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For those of us more seasoned folks think of SL as an episode of The Love Boat

image.png.f1a95881f793cc3d972f73ca051b7252.png

Everyone gets on the ship and stuff happens.  At the end of the show everything usually got resolved but yes even on The Love Boat a few hearts got broken:(  I like to think if we all acted like Captain Stubbing or Julie we should be ok cause they generally kept out of harm's way in the love/relationship department and they had some pretty funny lines.  I myself liked Gopher cause he was kind of bumbling and ended up being elected to Congress.

 

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I experienced this with my ex fiance in sl. A huge red flag was him wanting to move way too fast, even for sl standards. My best friend told me to be careful but I chose to believe him because why not give people the benefit of the doubt?

Eventually he ghosted me and within a week had some new arm candy while I got ignored. So my advice is to really get to know the person and try not to move too fast. Easier said than done, especially with a medium like second life that makes every date feel like you've won yourself a spot on the final episode of the Bachelor, but hey that's all I can say to do. I'm trying it with the guy I'm currently seeing and so far, so good which is great considering it's been almost 2 months and I'm still as head over heels for him as I was when I first met him.

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Whenever and wherever people interact with each-other these things happen. Both in RL and SL. I know people, myself included, who have been played with in RL too. It's surprisingly common actually how many people use other people only for their own benefit and when they have achieved a certain goal or are getting bored they run off or come up with something that will end a relationship. However, it is probably more common in SL because it is easier to pretend and the consequences are less severe than in RL. Because we can hide behind an avatar and a screen we automatically tend to do things we normally wouldn't do in RL face to face. 

For those that make the impossible possible by completely separating SL from RL. Try to separate your feelings from yourself. Or create feelings outside yourself for that matter. Even if you create fake feelings you are creating feelings that are real. And if that doesn't make sense to you right away, please contemplate on it.

 

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as an it tech, i have no concept of offline lol. met my husband online so there's that...

did i fall for wrong people? sure, we all do and usually they're not evil, scheming bastards - just don't fit or are at different point of life. love and passion don't make a relationship - add friendship and communication plus loads of hard work. a tip? with right people that work part is not a burden and even worst moments matter to you.

don't stress on dishonesty though, same with suspicions - it'll drive you bonkers more than the other party will feel guilty. look at stuff between you and if something doesn't tick and you don't think your partner's into fixing it or even noticing an issue ... whelp, could be invested in someone else or just not right for you.

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It is possible that one person has fallen in love with another who simply wants to be friends. In every relationship there is always an imbalance of feelings. There may not be such a thing as insincere love but rather that person doesn't need as much love as the other.

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2 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

It is possible that one person has fallen in love with another who simply wants to be friends. In every relationship there is always an imbalance of feelings. There may not be such a thing as insincere love but rather that person doesn't need as much love as the other.

Yet, love is not a zero-sum game. With love, 1+1=3.

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On 3/16/2018 at 10:25 AM, Love Zhaoying said:

Yet, love is not a zero-sum game. With love, 1+1=3.

Love is a game two can win. But if you're not careful with your game play, you'll probably be played.

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Without respect, love is lost. Without caring, love is boring. With out honesty, love is unhappy. Without trust, Love is unstable.

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I've managed to avoid it primarily by just not dating anyone in SL at all.  The one time I did, it was with someone I already knew in RL, and the SL relationship ended when the RL one did too (although we're still friends, in RL and SL).

I have another relationship in RL now and he is not interested in joining SL, and I'm not interested in complicating things with online relationships as well.

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On 18/03/2018 at 4:20 AM, Randall Ahren said:

Love is a game two can win. But if you're not careful with your game play, you'll probably be played.

You look like Heston Blumenthal 

Blumenthal-PA.jpg

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We’ve all been there. There’s a couple of red flags I look for to minimize.

5) Is he a “hang out” kinda guy? No, not that kind of hang out. If he’s one of those guys that just stands around on hang out sims, you can be sure he’s hanging out when you’re not on....doing the same thing he was doing when you met him.

4) Does he copy and paste his conversations with other people without you asking? There’s a word for this kind of guy...

3) Take a look at his picks/groups. Are a lot of women in there or sex places?

2) You ask him about his last relationship and he says something like “She was yelling and screaming at me!” You’re going to find out why that happened soon enough.

1) He only talks about himself. Any conversation you have gets redirected to himself. Skillfully or not...it’s “me me me”. He’ll rarely ask anything about you besides superficial type stuff.

 

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17 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

1) He only talks about himself. Any conversation you have gets redirected to himself. Skillfully or not...it’s “me me me”. He’ll rarely ask anything about you besides superficial type stuff.

I don't always talk about me.  I like to hear Clover talk about me, too.

 

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16 hours ago, janetosilio said:

 

1) He only talks about himself. Any conversation you have gets redirected to himself. Skillfully or not...it’s “me me me”. He’ll rarely ask anything about you besides superficial type stuff.

 

To be honest I'm the most interesting thing so yes I will talk about me. And I like ppl how talk about interesting things like me. 

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On 3/18/2018 at 11:16 AM, Dreamerra said:

Without respect, love is lost. Without caring, love is boring. With out honesty, love is unhappy. Without trust, Love is unstable.

I am lost!

I am boring!

I am unhappy!

I am unstable!

D*mn, I’m having a bad day!

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42 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I am lost!

I am boring!

I am unhappy!

I am unstable!

D*mn, I’m having a bad day!

don't worry tomorrow going to be worse

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