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Scaramouche Dryke

Have you been a Victim?

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Has anyone here experience being the victim of an insincere lover? Have you put your heart and soul into another person online only to find they don't return your feelings? I have had this happened to me and hear so much of this going on I wondered if its as common as people say........ Also, how do you spot the signs of a lover/partner who's feelings have changed or were never there? Tips are much appreciated. And what do you do if that is the case while sparing your feelings? Thanks ^^

 

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Frequently.

People who are malcontent with being single will say anything for the affection and attention of a potential partner, I sometimes think that they do not themselves realize what they are getting themselves into. Others are more malicious and think that them only wanting a one-night-stand, an open relationship or an online-only partner means that they 'don't have to' care about the other person's wishes and feelings.

As for how to spot someone genuine - it's usually difficult. Whilst it's true that you can, with well trained perception, detect changes in a person's mood by how they express themselves in text alone, such is difficult; especially if the person in question willfully conceals their emotions.

It's difficult though, as to detect deceit you must be rational - and meeting someone new, we let emotions drive us and we tend to project our ideals onto others, rather than letting their actions speak for their virtue.

In the end, all you can do is try it - if a person turns out not living up to your expectations, that's going to suck. If you decide not to give someone a chance, you'll never know where it could have gone.

 

Then again, I've had people who began learning Swedish, who said they wanted to come live with me and who would write oath-like statements of their endless affection, who would take U-turns out of the blue and suddenly wanted to break up without any explanation, or even vanish never to be seen again (well, until you start shifting a few boulders to see what happened and realize you were played all along, that there were lies and contradictions in all they ever said) - some people, it appears, think it's mighty amusing to go out of their way dedicating themselves to breaking someone's heart.

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The first rule of SL is that everyone gets their heart broken here. No one is immune, not even the gods.

The second rule of SL is never become involved with an alt.

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1 hour ago, Randall Ahren said:

The first rule of SL is that everyone gets their heart broken here.

This is wrong, there is a way to prevent having your heart broken here, leave your heart in RL. I know it sounds cold, and makes you the sort of person who breaks others hearts, but maybe that needs to be part of the discussion, are those who leave there hearts out of SL and end up breaking the hearts of those who bring there hearts in evil? are the heartbroken really victims? Or are those breaking the hearts just doing SL in a safe way, and the heartbroken being foolish?

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4 hours ago, Scaramouche Dryke said:

Has anyone here experience being the victim of an insincere lover? Have you put your heart and soul into another person online only to find they don't return your feelings? I have had this happened to me and hear so much of this going on I wondered if its as common as people say........ Also, how do you spot the signs of a lover/partner who's feelings have changed or were never there? Tips are much appreciated. And what do you do if that is the case while sparing your feelings? Thanks ^^

 

they start askin for lindens or complain when u dont hand over lindens or they are always busy aka doin it with others or if u ask for tp they never reply or 

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1 hour ago, Randall Ahren said:

The first rule of SL is that everyone gets their heart broken here. No one is immune, not even the gods.

The second rule of SL is never become involved with an alt.

this is wrong  forst rule never trust  girls  2nd rule always have tons of alts to be ready for something n to spy on yr gf to see if she cheats or to have fun watchin stuff go down 

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46 minutes ago, Quinn Lysette said:

this is wrong  forst rule never trust  girls  2nd rule always have tons of alts to be ready for something n to spy on yr gf to see if she cheats or to have fun watchin stuff go down 

when seeing how often you'r back searching, you'r method isn't really succesfull... try  something else?

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1 hour ago, Quinn Lysette said:

they start askin for lindens or complain when u dont hand over lindens or they are always busy aka doin it with others or if u ask for tp they never reply or 

Dude, you have apparently been getting involved with the wrong people. You should probably work on how you do your SL.

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You have to read between the lines... he obviously likes to watch  

1 hour ago, Quinn Lysette said:

to have fun watchin stuff go down 

there is a name for that?

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1 hour ago, Quinn Lysette said:

they start askin for lindens or complain when u dont hand over lindens or they are always busy aka doin it with others or if u ask for tp they never reply or 

Escorts will do that to ya, maybe try a person who doesn't need paying lol

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2 hours ago, Quinn Lysette said:

they start askin for lindens or complain when u dont hand over lindens or they are always busy aka doin it with others or if u ask for tp they never reply or 

Hey not true I TP you but then you hang out at the other side of the Sim perving with your cam

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47 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Dude, you have apparently been getting involved with the wrong people. You should probably work on how you do your SL.

You have no idea how much that needs work.

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4 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

You have to read between the lines... he obviously likes to watch  

there is a name for that?

voyeuring aka peepin

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I've never had my heart broken in SL 'cause I'm too busy messin' myself up in RL. In SL, I just say crazier and crazier chit until the other person runs away screaming. Am I doing it wrong?

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On 11/03/2018 at 12:20 AM, Randall Ahren said:

The first rule of SL is that everyone gets their heart broken here. No one is immune, not even the gods.

The second rule of SL is never become involved with an alt.

It is hard to know about whether he or she is an alt.  Not long ago my ex sl bf was into some kind of rp thing.  This rp is he married an alt play by one of our common friend.  Post all their wedding pictures and tell the whole world they are so into each other.  On the other hand ask me to understand what they are doing.  Hahahah so it is hold lot of different level of sincerity.  

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On 3/10/2018 at 12:40 PM, Talligurl said:

 are those who leave there hearts out of SL and end up breaking the hearts of those who bring there hearts in evil? are the heartbroken really victims? Or are those breaking the hearts just doing SL in a safe way, and the heartbroken being foolish?

This is a very subjective, and individual sort of thing, imo, and can't really apply to most/all instances. Are some of the people breaking others' hearts evil? I wouldn't use the word evil, it's a pretty strong word I reserve for truly heinous acts, but I'm not even sure that's really the right question to ask, or the right question to start with. I would refer to the "are those breaking others' hearts being honest upfront about their intentions, goals, desires, etc.." question, before I'd blatantly paint all situations the same(not that you are, of course). Then I'd refer to the question "can *this* particular person actually separate rl from sl, entirely, or is this person only capable of dong so partially?" (which I think applies to more people than not, semi-combining rl and sl is still combining them after all, just to varying degrees).  I think honesty up front is absolutely imperative, and it needs to be a 2-way street too. Can *some of those people breaking others' hearts be seen as bad people, or at least doing something wrong? Of course they can, that's what makes it so subjective.  I've seen plenty of people like that in sl over the years, we see it all the time on the forums too. It's just as possible they're doing it on purpose, as it is they aren't. If they're doing it on purpose, then yes my opinion of them would be that they're not very nice people, and probably aren't all that capable of any type of meaningful relationship (because dishonesty would reign supreme over honesty). If they're doing it unintentionally, I wouldn't say they're not so nice people, but I'd have to question them if it occurred more than once. Clearly, that's a pattern, and only they can adjust that pattern, regardless of what anyone else thinks of it/them. 

As for whether or not those having their hearts broken, or at least feeling that way at some point, are being foolish....Yes, no and maybe. Again, it's completely subjective and individual, and cannot be applied to most/all instances. It's entirely possible people are being foolish with their own hearts, feelings, etc. It's also entirely possible that deceit along the way on the part of the other party is a contributing factor. So, I'd go back to the whole honesty is important thing. 

I can say, however, that trying to mingle folks that combine rl and sl together, in any capacity, with those that want to completely separate them...is a recipe for disaster. Rarely ever does that recipe not end in someone, if not both, having some regrets(also to varying degree), hurt feelings, and such. If one has absolutely NO intention of ever mingling sl with rl, that person ought to make an effort to avoid getting in relationships with those that do not, or at the very least being completely upfront about that intention. Even friendships between the two people may prove to be difficult, sometimes tremendously so. Anything more than friendship...odds are good it may implode, or explode, at any given point. 

In either case, people need to be cautious, and careful with their words and their actions, if for no other reason, to save themselves some headaches down the road. It can also save them from coming across as a bad person, heartbreaker, foolish, or whatever other negative thing people want to attribute to that kind of behavior.  Emotions (hell humans in general, lol) rarely are rational, after all, yet the vast majority of people are, at various points in their life, driven by them (consciously or not).  As mighty as the human mind truly is..sometimes the irrational proverbial heart is mightier ;) 

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On 10/03/2018 at 6:51 PM, Quinn Lysette said:

this is wrong  forst rule never trust  girls  2nd rule always have tons of alts to be ready for something n to spy on yr gf to see if she cheats or to have fun watchin stuff go down 

You're still wrong.

1st rule is, never take anything Quinn says seriously.

2nd rule is, actually don't ever listen to Quinn in relationship advice.

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On 11/03/2018 at 1:03 AM, Quinn Lysette said:
On 10/03/2018 at 8:14 PM, Cindy Evanier said:

You have to read between the lines... he obviously likes to watch  

there is a name for that?

voyeuring aka peepin

I think she means you like to be cuckolded.

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Nothing quite brings out the zest for life in a person like the thought of a new experience. Some people just can't appreciate what it is that they have in the moment.

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Nope , cuz i don't wear my heart on my sleeve. And i never looked up to online hookups ect.

Edited by Jeny Howlett
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