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Panteleeva

Why if girl don t want voice, guy like to say you re guy?)

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Not everyone has to its who and what business they don't have to its your SL your Body make your Sl whatever you want.

Edited by Dreamerra

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Only Requirement maybe with this  someone is going first life and Long term That is up to Those people whatever the background ya it should be two way street not just make one person do it person has to be ready it can be in private. Truly whatever If your a girl or guy even if playing a girl no one should pressure you Just have boundaries Like I said its your SL Even if a guy is guy playing a girl some people are trans some guys are in to that that there freewill whatever floats the boat. And their guys Just want girl Just girl wants a guy there guy want guy or girl wants girls  so there someone for everyone the person just has to understand you where your coming from.

 

P.S
I did the voice thing I went three years traveling back in forth in real was long term in the past but I had to know something was there had to feel conferrable not forced to voice.  So its like a demisexaul  thing has to have feelings for the person have a connection in order to voice with someone yes this is true.

Edited by Dreamerra

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On 25/01/2018 at 3:05 PM, Panteleeva said:

Because some guys play with girl avi, because they are gay guys, who afraid to accept it..:D

I have a female avi I use for photography, so I must be gay too.... 

 

images (2).jpeg

As for voice, I got tired of people always wanting to hear my Aussie accent so I turn voice off and blame SL and say it's broken. 

Edited by Vin Soulstar
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I'm a woman in RL and hate using voice with the exception of my SL lover. 99% of the time when I'm on SL, I'm multitasking by listening to music and/or writing. So most of my talking involves long awkward pauses unless I'm really in the mood to be talking to someone.

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Inworld we all create a persona that is closer to who we really are or a fantasy. Voice can spoil that when reality comes into make believe.  You probably wouldn't want a video link up of that good looking avis operator in pajamas with hair not done and mess all over their desk either..

Voice is good for teaching someone to build or explaining complex things and was novel when it first came out but soon gets boring. Staying in the fantasy is more fun.

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On 1/25/2018 at 2:54 AM, Skell Dagger said:

Who knew that SL was a haven for thousands of closeted gay men who are so frightened of their sexuality that they hide behind avatars of a gender they're not remotely sexually attracted to? 9_9

(All the Genuine Straight Dudes of SL must be living in sheer terror of accidentally boinking another dude, by that nutjob's way of thinking.)

I half agree with that. I think some worry more then they should, but the other side of the coin is don't no straight man want to find out later they cybered with another dude. I know alot of women who feel that way as well. More so on the lesbian side of the house. I had one friend she was in a relationship and she voiced and the other person didn't. She was ok with that, but then a year later discovered her girlfriend all along was a dude. So ya I can see it being upsetting to anyone. I personally don't care if someone uses mic or not, but if your talking a SL relationship and you not even miced up one time around me then ya it ain't gonna happen. I see people always saying well if they don't like it if I won't mic up they can leave. I feel exactly the same way just opposite view. If you can't even mic check with me one single time then your hiding something and you can hit the bricks far as a relationship past normal friends goes. It's just that easy and simple for me. I don't even loose sleep over it. It ain't even about being worried about cybering with some dude. It's about respect. If you want to have this deep relationship on SL and you can't even hold one decent conversation on voice then what your telling me is you really just want an rp relationship and need to be your little butt on the rp sim. lol :D

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47 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

f you want to have this deep relationship on SL and you can't even hold one decent conversation on voice then what your telling me is you really just want an rp relationship and need to be your little butt on the rp sim. lol :D

4

This. All this. And the part I am pointing to is the bit about "deep relationship".

/me pulls the cloak off THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

If there is no expectation of a RL commitment then this entire thread is moot; no one cares. it all comes down to the expectation of a RL relationship and that's where it turns into deceit, dishonesty, and all around f*cked*upedness in the case of refusing to "voice-verify" (which is a phrased that should be a red flag to begin with, because I don't need to verify any-dam*ed thing with you). LOL

Personally, I don't really understand the desire to look for these deep relationships inside SL (hey, my own RL backyard is pretty large that I'm sure I can find just about anything I want right here). And the part I don't get is: So you fall all head-over-heels in love together, are you (either one) actually going to buy a plane ticket? Pick up and move to go be with them? Yes, it's happened likes 0.01% of the SL population since SL first started up. Though I hear people proclaim "that's what he said he's going to do" - only to see her heart ripped out a few months later.

I love having SL relationships and love is an ocean. I just make it clear that chances of our ever meeting in RL in our lifetimes is pretty slim. So if you, my absolutely BFF girlfriend turns out to be some 60 YO guy? Whatever, we still BFFs. If my BF that I pretend cartoon poseball pixelsex with turns out to be some woman getting her kicks? Cooooolll! Most realistic-looking D*ldo evar!

So there you go: the real elephant in the room that no one is bothering to mention. NO one farking cares about men playing women or vice-versa except in the case where you're looking in SL for something you should probably be looking for closer to home. Because even in an SL relationship it's never bothered me to learn that his hunky avatar has a woman typist, and I know a few men typing for SL babes.

It's all good until you demand to look beyond what you see on screen.

If men running around in women avatars and vice-versa actually bothers you, a reevaluation of life priorities may be in order. :) 

Edited by Alyona Su
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My zygote was asexual until it developed bits! I hear that’s normal! Lucky zygotes, don’t gotta worry about which bits they have yet.

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51 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

 

This. All this. And the part I am pointing to is the bit about "deep relationship".

/me pulls the cloak off THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

If there is no expectation of a RL commitment then this entire thread is moot; no one cares. it all comes down to the expectation of a RL relationship and that's where it turns into deceit, dishonesty, and all around f*cked*upedness in the case of refusing to "voice-verify" (which is a phrased that should be a red flag to begin with, because I don't need to verify any-dam*ed thing with you). LOL

Your right you don't need to do anything you don't want to do. I totally agree on that point. That being said neither does the other person and if you were serious about a relationship on here with someone and they said look you need to atleast hold a single conversation with me. Then ya you would NEED to if you wanted that relationship bad enough. Otherwise you really don't. It's really just that simple mate. lol It's still your choice. No one is saying it's not.

Personally, I don't really understand the desire to look for these deep relationships inside SL (hey, my own RL backyard is pretty large that I'm sure I can find just about anything I want right here). And the part I don't get is: So you fall all head-over-heels in love together, are you (either one) actually going to buy a plane ticket? Pick up and move to go be with them? Yes, it's happened likes 0.01% of the SL population since SL first started up. Though I hear people proclaim "that's what he said he's going to do" - only to see her heart ripped out a few months later.

Some people don't look for them. Some just happen. Some people can't get out to meet people the way they would like or feel more comfortable doing so on here. And yes I have had friends who have bought plane tickets and hooked up in real so it's not unheard of. If you find what your looking for in your own back yard then awesome. Good for you sparky. Some people don't. That's just how it is and you shouldn't come across sounding as being judgmental because that is how they choose to rock and roll. Maybe I am wrong, but you seem to come across like you look down on people who do that. Not really anyone's place to judge.

I love having SL relationships and love is an ocean. I just make it clear that chances of our ever meeting in RL in our lifetimes is pretty slim. So if you, my absolutely BFF girlfriend turns out to be some 60 YO guy? Whatever, we still BFFs. If my BF that I pretend cartoon poseball pixelsex with turns out to be some woman getting her kicks? Cooooolll! Most realistic-looking D*ldo evar!

I agree. Why I said deep relationships. When it comes to friends or in general it really shouldn't matter. You wanna play as whatever then that's your SL and I think people should be treated the way they would like to be treated.

So there you go: the real elephant in the room that no one is bothering to mention. NO one farking cares about men playing women or vice-versa except in the case where you're looking in SL for something you should probably be looking for closer to home. Because even in an SL relationship it's never bothered me to learn that his hunky avatar has a woman typist, and I know a few men typing for SL babes.

Actually there is a large majority of people who care. More then what this forum or thread represents.

It's all good until you demand to look beyond what you see on screen.

I am sure all the people who have had long term relationships with people who lied to them would agree, not! lol Everyone I have met inworld has cared. In fact it's why that question is asked so often. It's not rocket science. lol :D

If men running around in women avatars and vice-versa actually bothers you, a reevaluation of life priorities may be in order. :) 

My life priorities are fine. I don't need your advice on them tyvm. Not after reading your reply. lol I personally don't care what someone does, but I will be real about this topic. The real elephant in the room as you put it is that people are double standard and hypocrites. It's all well and good when someone don't want to mic up and everyone wants to play the what you see is what you get game. Nobodies mentioning about the rights of the people that don't want to deal with that BS. Not everyone wants to play their SL in a relationship with some old fat guy pretending to be a chick or vice versa. I don't hear nobody talking about those peoples rights not to deal with crap. Everyone wanna whine and say I don't gotta mic up and they right because it's their SL. They also got the right to keep it moving and put that on someone who wants to deal with it. I mean saying that about people in SL to me that's the same thing like saying in rl a woman who used to be man don't have to tell the guy she slept with that she used to be a man. lol That's BS too and more often then not comes with bullet in the ass risk. So if no one takes nothing from anything I said atleast understand this much. If you want your rights to be respected then respect other peoples rights too. Plain and simple. :)

Edited by Velk Kerang

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8 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

that's the same thing like saying in rl a woman who used to be man don't have to tell the guy she slept with that she used to be a man.

She doesn't. And anyway, if you're talking about a trans woman, she never was a man.

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8 minutes ago, LexxiXhan said:

She doesn't. And anyway, if you're talking about a trans woman, she never was a man.

Your right she don't and that is exactly why I said it comes with bullet in the ass risk. lol Also your wrong. Alot of trans women started off as men. I also know afew who got their ass shot for sleeping with men who found out they used to be men before they were women. So they can not tell if they want to. That's the risk they take. lol :D

On a side note good to see your in support of that type of shady crap. Morally speaking you should inform your partner of everything and respect their rights to make an informed decision. Everybody should have been taught that in school. ;)

Edited by Velk Kerang

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Ah yes, I forgot about that constitutional right to not be offended. Buahaha.

Hey, if you want to go "deep" in your SL relationships there's nothing wrong with that. Just understand that it is that desire that turns you paranoid. And if being paranoid is okay with you then that's fine also. However, neither I, nor anyone else owes you anything and respect have nothing to do with it.

If you *earn* your 'lovers' respect, then they will tell you, voice-verify with you, expect that plane ticket from you. See how that works? Don't put the cart in front of the horse. No one owes you anything, least of which is an explanation of who they really are and how they play the game. If you, however, earn that respect, the rest will likely flow freely.

S.

I. M.

P.

L. E.

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2 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

Also your wrong. Alot of trans women started off as men.

Being born into a body that hormonally develops into what we consider a 'male' body is not the same as 'being a man'.

4 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

I also know afew who got their ass shot for sleeping with men who found out they used to be men before they were women.

I'd interpret that as they were subjected to violence by guys who couldn't get their tiny homophobic brains around the fact that...they met a woman, found her attractive, attractive enough to have sex with her, enjoyed the sex...and basically had a pleasing heterosexual experience with a woman. Yet they they're still terrified that the straight sex they enjoyed with this woman might infect them with the gay...

9 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

That's the risk they take. lol :D

I don't think shooting or otherwise harming innocent people because of one's own sexual insecurities and ignorance is much to laugh about.

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Just now, Alyona Su said:

Ah yes, I forgot about that constitutional right to not be offended. Buahaha.

Hey, if you want to go "deep" in your SL relationships there's nothing wrong with that. Just understand that it is that desire that turns you paranoid. And if being paranoid is okay with you then that's fine also. However, neither I, nor anyone else owes you anything and respect have nothing to do with it.

If you *earn* your 'lovers' respect, then they will tell you, voice-verify with you, expect that plane ticket from you. See how that works? Don't put the cart in front of the horse. No one owes you anything, least of which is an explanation of who they really are and how they play the game. If you, however, earn that respect, the rest will likely flow freely.

S.

I. M.

P.

L. E.

Why do you think I am paranoid when I have stated atleast twice I don't care. lol You made one tiny flaw in your statement though on the *earn* your 'lovers' respect part. The way I rock and roll you don't make that status until much later anyway and definitely after we have voiced. I don't worry about it. I don't care. As I said I do NOT loose no sleep. As in like NONE at all over it. lol I wasn't even discussing me when I made my statements. I was pointing out the other side of the coin on how it is. At the end of the day I don't care what people do as long as they leave me out of it. lol :D

 

5 minutes ago, LexxiXhan said:

Being born into a body that hormonally develops into what we consider a 'male' body is not the same as 'being a man'.

Ya I get it. Dudes feeling like they were always women. I am not even gonna get in to that debate because really to each their own.

I'd interpret that as they were subjected to violence by guys who couldn't get their tiny homophobic brains around the fact that...they met a woman, found her attractive, attractive enough to have sex with her, enjoyed the sex...and basically had a pleasing heterosexual experience with a woman. Yet they they're still terrified that the straight sex they enjoyed with this woman might infect them with the gay...

That's a F'ed up interpretation and explains alot about you.O.o

I don't think shooting or otherwise harming innocent people because of one's own sexual insecurities and ignorance is much to laugh about.

I don't think people being shot is funny in general, but people reap what they sow. When a person does shady crap like that sooner or later they get served. I laugh because karma is a FM'er and people like you that think it is ok to do that kind of shady and foul mess eventually find out the HARD way that sooner or later everything get's a return. lol :D

Now I am done with this convo., because anyone who thinks that is ok to do is far way entirely to far off the reservation and has issues. Have a blessed day everybody. ;)

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@Velk - my impression is that you are coming off opposite my view in a confrontational way, which is why I have replied the way I have. Though in your most recent comment above this that I write now you give a faint impression you are actually on my side of the discussion. It's okay if you are not, in which case I shall hereby publicly apologize to you if anything I have said has agitated you into taking any defensive posture, that was not my intention.

Now with all that said, I should also refresh all readers' memories that my initial post was written to be and generally intended as a stand-alone without any specific call for a direct reply, even though I knew some would come.

@Velk - you came, you raised defensive and offensive posture, I simply assumed battle-stations.

No winners or losers here. It is what it is, as many like to say. I still see that elephant pretty clearly and, I do suspect and shall presume, most others lurking and participating in this particular thread see it, too.

And no, I do not believe it is pink.

Edited by Alyona Su
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On 3/6/2018 at 4:28 PM, Alyona Su said:

@Velk - my impression is that you are coming off opposite my view in a confrontational way, which is why I have replied the way I have. Though in your most recent comment above this that I write now you give a faint impression you are actually on my side of the discussion. It's okay if you are not, in which case I shall hereby publicly apologize to you if anything I have said has agitated you into taking any defensive posture, that was not my intention.

Now with all that said, I should also refresh all readers' memories that my initial post was written to be and generally intended as a stand-alone without any specific call for a direct reply, even though I knew some would come.

@Velk - you came, you raised defensive and offensive posture, I simply assumed battle-stations.

No winners or losers here. It is what it is, as many like to say. I still see that elephant pretty clearly and, I do suspect and shall presume, most others lurking and participating in this particular thread see it, too.

And no, I do not believe it is pink.

@Alyona Su I was actually thinking about you today which is why I came back to the forums and it's funny because you basically beat me to what I came here to do. lol I wanted to apologize for the other day because after having thought about it I felt the way my type came across in relaying the message I was trying to send had more aggressive under tones in it then I would have liked which often happen when I am blunt in my type and also I felt I may have misread yours as well as being more personally directed at me which put me in a defensive stance, but after having reflected on it I thought it was more a case of what happen to me alot of times and simply just being misunderstood. Which after having read your post I am really glad I did think about it and decide to come back.

So having said all that I do want to publicly apologize to you and say I am very very sincerely sorry I misunderstood your type and for my aggressive undertones in my blunt type behavior for lack of a better term. I actually think we are saying alot of the same thing because I do agree with alot what you said. I think this is merely a case of driving to the same destination, but taking different paths to it. Over all I think we are on the same page more or less.

@LexxiXhan I do want to apologize to you as well. I know I came at you sorta hard because I felt some of what you said is seriously wrong. However that is no excuse for my behavior. I will just say that I only hope you rethink your position on some of that because of how severely damaging that type of deception can be to a person. I feel if people respect themselves and each other honesty is always the way to go when you care about people. That having been said I do realize I opened a Pandora's box of sorts using that scenario as an analogy. Had I not done that then that conversation would not have taken place. So for that and my behavior in regards to it I want to apologize to you as well. I am very very sincerely sorry for that.

 

To everyone over all I just want to say this in regards to the actual topic and see if I can express myself more clearly. If I don't then I do apologize for my short comings on that.

I don't feel anyone should have to do anything they don't want to do. I want to be clear about that first. I, myself stay off mic most the time on SL unless someone I am close to asks me to turn it on so they can voice. That being said as we know alot of people evolve in to relationships on SL some even go on to become RL relationships for a lucky few. I always felt success in any relationship be it personal or with my friends was based of honesty and trust.

I don't want people to think I am saying they have a right to demand you to be on voice. I am saying it is a privilege and one of which if your in a relationship that is close friends, intimate, or more importantly emotional then to me I feel like they should have already earned your respect and the privilege.

That being said it is still YOUR choice to decide when, if ever you want to share that privilege with them. What is more important is that your simply just honest with them and yourself.

For me if I had been asked to mic check from a person I care about. I probably would have been offended at first like anyone naturally would be, but also I'd have thought to myself if I truly respect and care about this person and value them then holding a conversation on voice is not alot to ask in order to simply just put their mind at ease. That's just me. I don't see a problem in doing that.

At the end of the day it's your SL and as long as your not hurting anyone or yourself I say play it as you see fit and have as much fun as you possibly can and make the most of it and be the best you can possibly be.

I hope I did a better job of relaying my thoughts in to type this time. Be good to each other. Love you all. I wish you all nothing, but the best. Have a blessed day. I am out for now. :)

Edited by Velk Kerang
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On 3/6/2018 at 6:53 PM, Velk Kerang said:

I half agree with that. I think some worry more then they should, but the other side of the coin is don't no straight man want to find out later they cybered with another dude. I know alot of women who feel that way as well. More so on the lesbian side of the house. I had one friend she was in a relationship and she voiced and the other person didn't. She was ok with that, but then a year later discovered her girlfriend all along was a dude. So ya I can see it being upsetting to anyone. I personally don't care if someone uses mic or not, but if your talking a SL relationship and you not even miced up one time around me then ya it ain't gonna happen. I see people always saying well if they don't like it if I won't mic up they can leave. I feel exactly the same way just opposite view. If you can't even mic check with me one single time then your hiding something and you can hit the bricks far as a relationship past normal friends goes. It's just that easy and simple for me. I don't even loose sleep over it. It ain't even about being worried about cybering with some dude. It's about respect. If you want to have this deep relationship on SL and you can't even hold one decent conversation on voice then what your telling me is you really just want an rp relationship and need to be your little butt on the rp sim. lol :D

Why must someone be hiding something? I don't voice with some people ever but am not hiding anything

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On 3/2/2018 at 6:20 AM, Vin Soulstar said:

I have a female avi I use for photography, so I must be gay too.... 

 

images (2).jpeg

As for voice, I got tired of people always wanting to hear my Aussie accent so I turn voice off and blame SL and say it's broken. 

Ruin my fantasies why not lol

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On ‎3‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 1:20 AM, Vin Soulstar said:

I have a female avi I use for photography, so I must be gay too.... 

Now all of a sudden I have the coming out scene from "In and Out" running through my head.

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3 hours ago, Spin Barbosa said:

Now all of a sudden I have the coming out scene from "In and Out" running through my head.

He could use my female av for photography anyday lol

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19 hours ago, Liana Wildmist said:

Why must someone be hiding something? I don't voice with some people ever but am not hiding anything

Well when I made that statement I was referring to people in close relationship situations. Is it true for everyone? Probably not, however in most situations on SL where I have personally seen people go threw that situation it is 9 times out of 10 you have a case of the person not being what they claimed and at this point what started out as something small where no ones feelings were involved grew in to something more serious where heavy emotions were involved. So once the truth comes out and it eventually always does you have a situation where alot of heart ache was created and mental and emotional damage has been done to a person that is not very healthy at all. So I just personally think and just feel like it is very irresponsible as a human being to create those type of situations and in the same breath claim to care about someone or even people in general. If a person truly cares then they will care enough not to create those kind of situations that will ultimately result in that type of damage in the first place. ;)

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9 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

Well when I made that statement I was referring to people in close relationship situations.

I think the beauty of SL relationships is that you can "fall in love" with someones mind and personality without the obstacles of real life. I have a girlfriend in SL with who I am very close. I do not ask for voice verification, I would actually hate it because her voice will never match my mind image I have of her. And who knows, maybe she is a guy in RL. I really don't care as long as I don't know my mind image of her stays in tact. I love her for how she is in SL and we are having an awesome time together here. And with absolutely no need or intention to take it outside of SL why would we want to include to much RL anyway.

As soon as RL gets seriously involved for me it breaks down the relationship more than it would ever build up. And that's how it works for me and probably a lot of other people too. And there's also people who love RL mixing and for them it only adds to the quality of their relationship. So to each their own. There is no good or bad way, just respect each others ways.

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4 hours ago, Zeta Vandyke said:

I think the beauty of SL relationships is that you can "fall in love" with someones mind and personality without the obstacles of real life. I have a girlfriend in SL with who I am very close. I do not ask for voice verification, I would actually hate it because her voice will never match my mind image I have of her. And who knows, maybe she is a guy in RL. I really don't care as long as I don't know my mind image of her stays in tact. I love her for how she is in SL and we are having an awesome time together here. And with absolutely no need or intention to take it outside of SL why would we want to include to much RL anyway.

As soon as RL gets seriously involved for me it breaks down the relationship more than it would ever build up. And that's how it works for me and probably a lot of other people too. And there's also people who love RL mixing and for them it only adds to the quality of their relationship. So to each their own. There is no good or bad way, just respect each others ways.

I think you've nailed it.

TO BE FAIR: @Velk also has a point and it's a valid one. The thing is everyone is different and so are their situations and scenarios and all the rest. I, personally, fall into Zeta's description and I suspect most others likely do as well. Of course, that doesn't mean those who choose to go 'deeper' as @Velk describes are any less right about it.

I think the main catalyst for this thread, as it started out, is when the two "types" of relationship-desired gets mixed up. For example, Zeta and Velk together (YESSS! You two are gonna be my example! Muahaha) - if what either wants isn't communicated clearly then misunderstanding will follow and each may become more distrustful of the other until it's splitsville with a bad taste.

For every single relationship, I have ever been in myself we always started off with "Ask me anything you want and I'll tell you the truth." The next subject was always "This is how I like my SL and how far I am willing to go with it" (in terms of where it will stop, such as "even if you buy me a plane ticket, life's too complicated to use it" kind of thing. So we set our boundaries and expectations up front. Nothing is ever set in stone, but *expectations* are clear. Every time I've ever separated from anyone it has always been on friendly, amicable basis and we remain close friends going forward.

More people should try this recipe, I call it truth and honesty, it tastes great. Really, it does.

Edited by Alyona Su
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I have photo of myself in picks with real life photo with sticker says my avatar name ya that is good enough. 

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On 1/25/2018 at 1:12 AM, Zeta Vandyke said:

If people want you to voice and you do not like to, that's their problem not yours. Ignore them. You are in SL for your entertainment, not theirs.

^ This. Just... this.

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