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Ashlyn Voir

Second Life is filled with petty and rude people.

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13 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

96 is pretty late in the game to make changes and her health is starting to go. I've got pretty thick skin (skull, same thing) so I can wait her out.

I was meaning in the past...a shame she didn't get treatment...so that her life and those around her was not so chaotic and/or miserable.

Interesting to think about though...just how much plasticity does the brain have...even in such late years...I'd like to think it's never too late to change but that might be too optimistic.

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1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

Ashlyn, when I checked this thread last night you appeared to be in a positive mood when you said:
"I guess to some degree maybe everyone is that way. Maybe not purposely, but it’s human nature I suppose. Either way, this thread accomplished something and I made a new friend from it because they were kind and reached out to me. As many others have said before, what we give out is what we get back. Not always, but for the most part yeah".
 
Then this morning I checked the thread and you were not in such a good mood and said:
"Screw SL. I’m so over this BS and the rudeness that’s been given to me page after page. There’s nothing good coming out of this and you people are all f**king sick in the head".

In between those two posts (made several hours apart) it's obvious you felt insulted by MaggiJin on page 13 and this set you off into negativity again when she said:
"Honestly you sound like someone i'd want to be rude to..."

So in the space of a few hours you changed from thinking there were some good people in SL to thinking there was nothing good coming out of this and that "you people are all f**cking sick in the head".
Can you see how when something negative happens you make sweeping generalizations and attribute one experience to all experiences?  We all can easily slip into this way of thinking when needing a nap, or having bad PMS, or encountering too many problems in one day. And I'm not pointing this out to criticize you -- I'm just hoping you can see this pattern and take steps to minimize it. It's a miserable way to exist and there are steps one can take to remedy it.

Luna, you have been unfailingly kind and generous throughout this thread; I don't know if it will help, since the OP seems rather entrenched in their view, but I wanted to acknowledge your kindness, particularly.  You have tried to understand and empathise, and it was really sweet of you.

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17 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Competition to the end? Sounds like a lovely relationship. /sarcasm

Sadly, dementia meant she couldn't remember if sister was alive. Had I guessed she wanted to hear "no", I would have lied to her!

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1 hour ago, Phil Deakins said:

Someone mentioned that we all need naps, so I guess the mods are having theirs first :)

No, I'm sure they are taking some executive time.

ETA

Quote

I was talking with someone today in RL, who said that my humour sometimes offends people.

Of course it does.  You're from Yorkshire.

Edited by Innula Zenovka
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22 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I was meaning in the past...a shame she didn't get treatment...so that her life and those around her was not so chaotic and/or miserable.

Interesting to think about though...just how much plasticity does the brain have...even in such late years...I'd like to think it's never too late to change but that might be too optimistic.

I suppose the reason she didn't get treatment is that she was surrounded by enablers, me included. I've started pushing back more, but the results haven't been happy.

I share your hope for my own ability to change, knowing that requires my ability to see that change is needed, or to be surrounded by people who care enough to tell me so. This is why it's so self limiting to surround yourself with "yes" people and why it's so limiting to others to be one.

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5 minutes ago, Innula Zenovka said:

Of course it does.  You're from Yorkshire.

Ooo. That hurts :D

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40 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!!??!??" - Spaniard

Great movie :D

:P

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2 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

Ooo. That hurts :D

My mother was from Doncaster, I lived in Leeds for a few years, and my late partner was from Hull   I think I speak from experience here.

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35 minutes ago, Pixieplumb Flanagan said:

Luna, you have been unfailingly kind and generous throughout this thread; I don't know if it will help, since the OP seems rather entrenched in their view, but I wanted to acknowledge your kindness, particularly.  You have tried to understand and empathise, and it was really sweet of you.

Thanks for your acknowledgement, but I don't think of it as being generous and kind. It's more like I realized the OP's initial statement was so distorted that she must not be thinking clearly. If someone is not thinking clearly to such a great degree then it's likely I have the advantage (unless I haven't had my coffee yet ;0). So if I have the advantage then it's not really a fair 'fight'...and so I feel more protective of that person and my own needs are put more into the background.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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49 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

Different people interpret things different. Some time ago there was a post here from someone looking for volunteers to pose as models for pictures. I volunteered, but didn't hear back. When I asked him about it, I eventually got him to admit he thought I was rude. Now I will joke around, but I try to never ever be rude in RL or SL, yet something about my posts here rubbed him the wrong way. I think a  lot of the times people think other people are rude it is just people misinterpreting people, and some people are quick to assume others are wrong, so they see rudeness in almost everyone, while others give everyone the benefit of the doubt and so find SL a friendly place.

lIke you, I try not to be rude. Like others, I sometimes see rudeness through misinterpretation where no intent exists or sometimes no empathy. We all vary in our ability to recognize that our intent is not obvious, that our thoughts are not shared.

As you've described, rudeness is a perception others have of our behavior. People who say "I'm never rude" are often the rudest people I meet. It can be difficult to determine whether that statement arises from inability or indifference, but it often doesn't matter. I see them as unlikely to change, unwilling or unable to recognize feedback.

And of course our attitudes affect those around us and our perceptions of their responses to us. And there are people who feed on negative energy, mystifying as that is until that moment we do it ourselves, hopefully momentarily.

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8 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

People who say "I'm never rude" are often the rudest people I meet. It can be difficult to determine whether that statement arises from inability or indifference, but it often doesn't matter. I see them as unlikely to change, unwilling or unable to recognize feedback.

I think they're locked into believing that all conflict must be resolved by making one party or the other into 'the bad person', when in reality there are so many nuances and mitigating circumstances when attempting to decide who is 'right or wrong'.  Black and white thinking is so much easier.

And yes it really is hard to get people to change when they're addicted to black and white thinking!

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For what it's worth, I was brought up never to argue or try to justify myself when people complain I've offended them.

If I didn't intend to offend them, then I immediately apologise, and also tell them that I hope they will accept my apology and also my assurance that I had no intention of offending them, and that the offence I have caused is a result of either my ignorance or my careless choice of words rather than the result of malice.   Then, whatever may be my feelings on the matter about how unreasonable or oversensitive they're being, I make a mental note to avoid saying whatever it was again.

If, on the other hand, I did intend to offend them, then it is, of course, a completely different story.

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Agreed, Innula. It's why I apologised to him. Not because what I said was actually offensive, but because his misunderstanding caused him to take offense, and therefore affected his feelings. Unintentionally affecting his feelings was what I apologised for.

Edited by Phil Deakins

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7 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

Agreed, Innula. It's why I apologised to him. Not because I did anything that should be apologised for, but because his misunderstanding caused him to take offense, and therefore affected his feelings. Unintentionally affecting his feelings was what I apologised for.

An English gentleman never gives offence unintentionally.

Edited by Innula Zenovka
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Ooo. We Yorkshiremen are rated as English gentlemen, eh? :D

We are, actually. Or at least some of us are :)

ETA: Hmm. I misread your post. It's not difficult to cause offense when someone doesn't immediately grasp what you said ;)

Edited by Phil Deakins
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I'm cranky as stars after spending the day waiting to appear as a witness, only for it to be moved to March cause they ran out of time. Not that I blame the court. I want to metaphorically bash together the heads of the two idjits who caused us to be there in the first place but I'm far too exhausted. Anyone want to get properly angry for me? Maybe Maddy could be a sweetheart and fireball them:SwingingFriends:

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43 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Maybe Maddy could be a sweetheart and fireball them:SwingingFriends:

You want me to do both?

...skewers the two idjits on her trident, like tiny cocktail wieners, then hurls them into a burning dumpster.

I'll come back later to de-ice a sidewalk with their ashes. I worry that someone might slip and fall.

 

 

How'd I do?

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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35 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

I'm cranky as stars after spending the day waiting to appear as a witness, only for it to be moved to March cause they ran out of time. Not that I blame the court. I want to metaphorically bash together the heads of the two idjits who caused us to be there in the first place but I'm far too exhausted. Anyone want to get properly angry for me? Maybe Maddy could be a sweetheart and fireball them:SwingingFriends:

Sounds like you need someone to go crazy for you..

I got this everyone..Stand back! \o/

See,

im-the-kind-of-crazy-you-werent-warned-a

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12 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

You want me to do both?

...skewers the two idjits on her trident, like tiny cocktail wieners, then hurls them into a burning dumpster.

Shall I come back later to de-ice a sidewalk with their ashes? I worry that someone might slip and fall.

 

How'd I do?

You're a star Mads x.

It's howling a gale outside but isn't due to go below freezing until Thursday night. I think parts of the U.S. might need them more. It's very kind of you to think of this.

8 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Sounds like you need someone to go crazy for you..

I got this everyone..Stand back! \o/

You too, Ceka x.

Now I'm imagining Garfield roaring around the neighbourhood breathing fire. It's not the wind after all :D

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I've just reported this thread (specifically the post that I'm amazed is still standing). The OP is determined to drag this down into an "everyone posting here is a racist" spiral, and I am not playing that little game.

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40 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Anyone want to get properly angry for me?

Hmm, good and angry.
Change every other noun to "buck" or "bucker"
Add "bucking" before every verb.
Change all adjectives and adverbs to "bucking"

Quote

I'm bucking cranky as buck after bucking spending the day bucking waiting to bucking appear as a bucker, only for it to bucking be bucking moved to Buck bcause they bucking ran out of buck. Not that I bucking blame the buckers. I bucking want to bucking bash together the heads of the two buckers who bucking caused us to bucking be there in the bucking place but I'm far too bucking exhausted. Anyone want to bucking get bucking bucking angry for me? Maybe Maddy could be a bucker and bucking fireball them.

Not perfect but I think it gives the proper intent.

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11 minutes ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

Hmm, good and angry.
Change every other noun to "buck" or "bucker"
Add "bucking" before every verb.
Change all adjectives and adverbs to "bucking"

Not perfect but I think it gives the proper intent.

Peaky Blinders meets Mrs Browns Boys. Oh my xD

Edited by Bitsy Buccaneer
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It would appear that the OP is indeed either a troll or simply someone who is far too fragile (to be as polite as possible) for online interactions.

Who you are offline is something we can only know if you choose to share that information and being brutally honest, not a single person here has any reason to believe anyone when they disclose this "information" about themselves - most especially when it either comes out of the blue or when one attempts to use this "information" as a weapon to silence others.

The OP came in swinging and made very few positive posts within this thread. The PMs sent out have been nothing but vitriolic and seem to be based solely on whatever they can scrape up.

Dovetailing off of that: @Ashlyn Voir I am many things within Second Life, my profile simply reflects a facet that the majority of my friends are used to seeing. You have made it very clear that you do not care one whit about finding nice people and that you yourself are the very reason you have found rude, petty people.

Grow up.

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