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Ashlyn Voir

Second Life is filled with petty and rude people.

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Even on platforms out of Second Life such as Flickr where a large number of Second Life residents share, I haven’t encountered one decent person as many seem fixated on being rude for absolutely no reason. I wouldn’t recommend the game to anyone really. Do you share the same sentiment as I do for this game? 

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30 minutes ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Do you share the same sentiment as I do for this xxxxxx

no, and ehm...at your sl age calling it a "game" .... / me shakes head

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Nope, I can't say I share your sentiment. Though rudeness exists everywhere in life-it's impossible to avoid it, there's a lot one can do to not let it have as much of an effect. I also find that people will often encounter a lot of what they, themselves, project. If rudeness and pettiness is *all* you encounter, perhaps it is entirely possible that it's not always just them. :)

 

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I agree with you Ashlyn on a general finding. Ever since I joined SL, its been one big e-peen stroke power hungry control fest to be honest. On rare occasion you will find people who are not so absorbed in themselves and what only they want to do or only what they think is right. Oh, and I used to have a parrot named Pamela. Cat ate it .

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Rude is off for the day. Inconsiderate and pettiness haven't signed in yet. We're it for now. BTW, Second Life is not a "game".

As Pamela explained, 90% of the participants in this forum will go far and above to help out with any sincere assistance. If you don't understand the suggestions, simply ask again and explain what it is that you are having trouble with. Someone will help.

However, some come in and don't like the answers they are receiving and begin with insults and frankly, (im)proper responses are returned. We are just human on the other side of the keyboard.  I'm guilty of some such responses, I've had a post removed by mods at one time, rightfully so too. So don't think that everyone here is rude or obnoxious.

If you have questions, ask. Be nice and receptive to suggestions tossed out. If you disagree, fine, be nice about it. Everyone will be happy.

 

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1 hour ago, Alwin Alcott said:

no, and ehm...at your sl age calling it a "game" .... / me shakes head

Well, if your head weren't so big and placed up under and yonder then you might share some of this 'make-believe' sentiment we, the top 10% share without Second Thought.

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1 hour ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Even on platforms out of Second Life such as Flickr where a large number of Second Life residents share, I haven’t encountered one decent person as many seem fixated on being rude for absolutely no reason. I wouldn’t recommend the game to anyone really. Do you share the same sentiment as I do for this game? 

I would hazard a rough guess that - in my ten and a half years in Second Life - I have encountered a total of maybe twenty or thirty people whom I would consider as "rude for absolutely no reason". By contrast, I have encountered thousands who have been "decent".

I guess it depends on one's definitions of 'rude' and 'decent', as well as one's reaction to such. Some consider 'rude' a polite disagreement to a statement they've made, and will instantly shut down potential conversation with an insult, whereas others will engage with the disagreeing person in an equally polite (and, importantly, open) manner, and conversation ensues that may end up in eventual friendship.

I'm a firm believer - both in SL and RL - in 'You get back what you give away'. So, apart from the occasional person who is an arsehole purely because that's how they get their fun, both my first and Second lives have been filled with decent people.

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2 hours ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Even on platforms out of Second Life such as Flickr where a large number of Second Life residents share, I haven’t encountered one decent person as many seem fixated on being rude for absolutely no reason.

There are lots of shy and socially inept people in SL and you also have the general rudeness of the internet plus all the misunderstandings caused by language and cultural differences. So it's understandable that people there often come over as rude. But in my experience, people are quite nice once you get to know them a little bit. Pamela says 90% are nice people, I think she's underestimating it a bit - more like 99.9% in my experience. But of course, the few exceptions are very noticeable - often it only takes a single negative person to ruin a community.

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Based on my RL experience, there seems to be a trend where the definition of "Rude" is being taken as any opposition to their desired expectation or level of entitlement, e.g.

"Can I have? Can I do? I need..."

"NO"

"That's rude!"

This is particularly evident amongst a certain age group.  Given that the above represents a typical vocal exchange, one can see just how easy it is to also take from that their understanding that unhelpfulness also occurred at the same time.

 

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2 hours ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Even on platforms out of Second Life such as Flickr where a large number of Second Life residents share, I haven’t encountered one decent person as many seem fixated on being rude for absolutely no reason. I wouldn’t recommend the game to anyone really. Do you share the same sentiment as I do for this game? 

So you come here telling us we are all non decent, petty and rude people? Thats rude.

Have you ever considered that if everyone you encounter ends up being not friendly with you, there might be a problem at the source? Looking at this and your previous topics and posts on this forum you could come to the conclusion that a social platform like SL is just not the thing for you.

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1 hour ago, Hunter Stern said:

Well, if your head weren't so big and placed up under and yonder then you might share some of this 'make-believe' sentiment we, the top 10% share without Second Thought.

now this is simply really rude..  OP asks for opinions.

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10 hours ago, Hunter Stern said:

Well, if your head weren't so big and placed up under and yonder then you might share some of this 'make-believe' sentiment we, the top 10% share without Second Thought.

Yes, that's a good example of the "general rudeness of the internet", quick, thoughtless snide remarks with no other function than to sour the mood. But you find that everywhere on the internet, even on this forum. If you thinkSecond Life is bad there, try Twitter! :P

 

Edited by ChinRey
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11 minutes ago, Zeta Vandyke said:

So you come here telling us we are all non decent, petty and rude people? Thats rude.

Have you ever considered that if everyone you encounter ends up being not friendly with you, there might be a problem at the source? Looking at this and your previous topics and posts on this forum you could come to the conclusion that a social platform like SL is just not the thing for you.

Maybe. 

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3 hours ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Even on platforms out of Second Life such as Flickr where a large number of Second Life residents share, I haven’t encountered one decent person as many seem fixated on being rude for absolutely no reason. I wouldn’t recommend the game to anyone really. Do you share the same sentiment as I do for this game? 

It's weird, most people I meet are really nice people. In my decade of this virtual world we share the number of rude people I've stumbled over has been minimal, and that's with owning a club too.

A friend of mine has this in his picks.

Quote

 

A traveler came upon a farmer plowing his fields. Eager to rest, the wanderer hailed the farmer, who seemed happy enough to talk.

"What sort of people live in the next town?" asked the stranger.

"What were the people like where you've come from?" replied the farmer, answering the question with another

"They were a bad lot. Troublemakers all, and lazy too. The most selfish people in the world, and not one of them to be trusted. I'm happy to be leaving the scoundrels"

"Is that so?" replied the old farmer. "Well, I'm afraid that you'll find the same sort in the next town

Disappointed, the traveler trudged on his way.

Later another stranger, coming from the same direction, stopped to talk. "What sort of people live in the next town?" he asked.

"What were the people like where you've come from?" replied the farmer once again.

"They were the best people in the world. Hard working, honest, and friendly. I'm sorry to be leaving them"

"Fear not," said the farmer "You'll find the same sort in the next town"

 

 

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13 minutes ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Maybe. 

Dont give up too fast. Its all related to the thickness of your skin. If you feel like an elephant, you did it right.

Edited by Resi Pfeffer
typo

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I've no doubt that there are large numbers of avatars behaving in rude and petty ways in SL. However, I find it much easier to avoid them inworld than anywhere else on the internet, including the forums. The closest I get to it most days is if someone tries to start things in a group. Doesn't happen very often, it's usually short-lived and it's always easily escaped.

If you don't like the people you're running into, go different places and do things different things. There's a lovely generosity amongst many builders/creators, especially those of us who are doing it simply because we enjoy it. Find that sort of thing for yourself and your SL can be full of kind, interesting people too. :)

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Just a general, mildly off topic observation: If you complain about people being rude on an internet forum, there will always be lots of people eager to prove you right. :P

 

Edit:

and a mildly off topic quote too - this is by Tom Lehrer:

" I know there are people in the world that do not love their fellow human beings and I hate people like that."

Edited by ChinRey
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SL is like any other social platform or game or even RL.

 

Most people assume stupid ***** and aren't worth it. Then you meet some that appreciate you for who you are. The problem isn't "SL". There's going to be stupid and rude people anywhere you go. Ditch them, burn them, look in other places in SL until you find someone that isn't like that. Which, like anywhere else can take a while.

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Real Life id full of petty and rude people, but often they hide it because they are face to face with people, or are dealing with co-workers, customers, or some other relationship that makes them not want to reveal their true feelings and nature, SL is a place where you can be who you really are inside so all that ugliness that people hide comes out.

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There are rude and petty people on SL. It’s still a part of the internet and people tend to do that. They can’t see you and there’s no filter, so the gloves come off.

It’s mostly funny though. The things people get rude and petty about are really, really funny.

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When all you have is the written word any mood, attitude, the personality you get from is it 95% your own personal injection of feeling. What I see in SL are a lot of people who are not that great at communicating; saying what they really mean and meaning what they really say. What I see are a lot of disillusioned people, disappointed people, hurt people, people whom have experienced something they wish not to repeat so they tend to be rather guarded and jaded.

I see many profiles that come off as rude and harsh, for example," Read this before you dare IM me..." and so on. This does not make a rude or mean person, this makes a hurt person whose walls have been thrown up tall and thick.

Even these people are friendly and nice if you actually make a fair attempt to find out.

You see, to most in SL this is not a "game" - and because of there are a lot of people who were really and genuinely hurt by others. And when that happens, well, you get the idea. As for pettiness, yes, depending on the context of the scenario there are a lot of petty people in SL. But "petty" is not a bad word.

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Basically it comes down to this, are you going to let others dictate to you what mood you are in? and secondly, are you going to be better than the rest, or not? 

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7 hours ago, Ashlyn Voir said:

Even on platforms out of Second Life such as Flickr where a large number of Second Life residents share, I haven’t encountered one decent person as many seem fixated on being rude for absolutely no reason. I wouldn’t recommend the game to anyone really. Do you share the same sentiment as I do for this game? 

OK, so what can we do to make you feel at home?

For a start we don't see it as a game, we see it as a social platform where we play a role.  Some of the roles we play are not cuddly, I admit, but it is almost always just an act.

So, how about we start on a fresh footing?  Welcome to the General Discussion Forum.

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