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On 12/22/2017 at 1:58 AM, EjeFief said:

One lady told me that I "look noob" because of my low resolution nature. I could tell she's not even SL savvy, but I knew what she was trying to say, I look low res compared to most avatars.

for anyone who ever gets this rebuff from others on SL. go on Valve> Steam (it's a game host platform) look through the store there,a ton of the games have character and avatar that are 10000x worse than anything that would constitute 'low resolution', and people love and buy the crap on Steam. SL is far ahead in that aspect imo and when someone comes off with that sort of anti-compliment it only shows their unawareness and lack of depth.

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What an interesting topic. Thank you for posting your thoughts. What follows are some of my own musings on the topic, based on my own personal experience.

As a little background, I am a 31 year old married female. My husband isn't in Second Life, but we've been together for over 15 years and we have always maintained a monogamous relationship. I say this, because I believe our real life circumstances actually play a role in what you are describing. 

People are impulsive 
I honestly believe many of these "I'm looking for friends" posts are impulsive. The consequence of that is that the person really isn't ready to deal with the ramifications of such a post. 

I think it's self explanatory. Others have already mentioned the ramifications of this fact. People treat you like NPCs

Okay, here's where my personal circumstances probably very much color my input here. Since I am a full grown woman, I'm not super naive. I understand that many people use Second Life to meet others for romantic reasons. I try to make it clear in my profile that I only seek platonic relationships in Second Life, but I'm going to be honest -- I'm always wary of whomever I talk with online (irl for that matter). Honestly, it's because I don't want to waste their time or mine. I really, really don't want someone to put in the time and energy in befriending me, all the while thinking their effort might lead to something more. Arrogant? Self-absorbed? Probably. But I don't want to hurt anyone, and that might mean I come off a little more cold to some, especially men. 

At the end of the day, I wish we treated people online more like we would in person -- with kindness and respect. I've given up on the idea of these "looking for friends" posts. I try to find friendship organically in Second Life. My friends list has four people on it... two of them are rl friends. I just accept that people will come and go in Second Life. Some people I will click with, many I won't. Everyone has their own personal motives, and we can't clearly see them. 

Anyway, to finish this rambling post, I just want to wish you and everyone on here luck in finding true friendship. It's precious and rare and should be treasured. 

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  • 1 month later...

"The fact that you think you're entitled to everyones attention is disturbing." -MaggiJin


Obvious bait posts aside, The easily visible Second Life community (outside of the forums, in actual SL) It's difficult to find active/tolerable users, as Hunter Stern said multiple times. People are indeed impulsive, and I'm sure it does fuel the reasons most people post the "b my firen pls" posts.

In terms of my looks putting people off, yes, it does, we have confirmed this. There are much more inviting users that don't really care what you look like and do talk to me, but it happens very rarely. The only reason I started looking on the forums for friends instead of in-world, is because in world everyone is silent/afk and it's impossible to not run into one toxic user. I did begin and still do engage in trying to find people through common interest places.....But well, these days the only places that are populated are "clubs", and that's an incredible vague interest.


Pretty much all I have done in SL for the past year is log in, hop from place to place to meet people, fail, and then leave. This lasts for about 1-4 hours.


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