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MaggiJin

How many times a day is too many times a day to get creeper messeges?

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*disclaimer* Prior to reading my comment please take a deep breath and calm yourself. if you usually take things personally then i would skip this comment entirely :)

 

On 12/16/2017 at 9:56 PM, MaggiJin said:

Its not my fault that they're reading into something in the worst way possible. their problem, not mine.

actually Maggi, in this case it would seem to be becoming your problem as you are in the forums talking about it :).

please understand that in written communication, you do have to be very clear with what you mean as otherwise people will assume their interpretation is correct.

the person on the other side can't see your face to see what expression you have, they can't see how you stand to get cues from your pose, they have only your words to guide them on what you may want.

having said that, please see below:

 

On 12/14/2017 at 11:38 AM, Madelaine McMasters said:

Your profile may be inviting above average interest from those who read profiles.

"Looking for friends and maybe more." and "Possibly looking." are both flags.

My profile shows Snugs as my partner. That's an extreme measure to ward off advances, but it allows me to believe that I've warded off advances.

Madelaine Nailed it above as to why you may be getting these messages a lot.

when you show yourself with a partner in your profile and then write "friends and maybe more"  to many people that means that you have a partner but are hooking up with others.  it those two things together means you may be in an open relationship or your partner doesn't mind or you don't tell your partner.  to put it bluntly, you would see that in a profile for someone that would bounce around on top of other avatars a lot. 

 

if you remove the "maybe more and possibly looking" and write, "looking for friends only and would NEVER cheat on my partner", then you could lower the messages you get by a significant amount. probably still won't eliminate them unless you get a 4ft furry avatar with a massive 6 foot male appendage attached but even those may still get you messages from someone with that as a fetish.

 

at the end of the day, you really need to reread your profile to see how people view it vs what YOU think it says.  Otherwise, it would not really make sense to complain about something when you haven't really listened to things people have pointed out that may be causing the issue in the first place.

 

now please, before replying, breathe and take a quick walk in case you are angry with me reply :)    *breathe in, breathe out*  ;)

 

 

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5 hours ago, lostsoul2017 said:

*disclaimer* Prior to reading my comment please take a deep breath and calm yourself. if you usually take things personally then i would skip this comment entirely :)

 

actually Maggi, in this case it would seem to be becoming your problem as you are in the forums talking about it :).

please understand that in written communication, you do have to be very clear with what you mean as otherwise people will assume their interpretation is correct.

the person on the other side can't see your face to see what expression you have, they can't see how you stand to get cues from your pose, they have only your words to guide them on what you may want.

having said that, please see below:

 

Madelaine Nailed it above as to why you may be getting these messages a lot.

when you show yourself with a partner in your profile and then write "friends and maybe more"  to many people that means that you have a partner but are hooking up with others.  it those two things together means you may be in an open relationship or your partner doesn't mind or you don't tell your partner.  to put it bluntly, you would see that in a profile for someone that would bounce around on top of other avatars a lot. 

 

if you remove the "maybe more and possibly looking" and write, "looking for friends only and would NEVER cheat on my partner", then you could lower the messages you get by a significant amount. probably still won't eliminate them unless you get a 4ft furry avatar with a massive 6 foot male appendage attached but even those may still get you messages from someone with that as a fetish.

 

at the end of the day, you really need to reread your profile to see how people view it vs what YOU think it says.  Otherwise, it would not really make sense to complain about something when you haven't really listened to things people have pointed out that may be causing the issue in the first place.

 

now please, before replying, breathe and take a quick walk in case you are angry with me reply :)    *breathe in, breathe out*  ;)

 

 

I don't think you understand what a relationship is. it is NOT *****ing every random dude that asks. the fact that you think every dude is entitled to be a *****head just ebcause i say i'm looking for a boyfriend tells me everything i need to know about you :)

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3 hours ago, MaggiJin said:

I don't think you understand what a relationship is. it is NOT *****ing every random dude that asks. the fact that you think every dude is entitled to be a *****head just ebcause i say i'm looking for a boyfriend tells me everything i need to know about you :)

please note, my way of thinking is not that, but that is what is said in discussion groups and if you were to give  a profile with those words on it to people to read, you may be surprised by what you would get back as to what they think the person is saying. obviously you do not really seem interested in listening to what others have to say and seem to only be interested in repeating what you believe but it's all good. you are entitled to your views as the rest of the people are entitled to theirs.  no further point in commenting on this thread as you did not bother to even read what i wrote and just assumed you did. 

 

take care :)

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12 hours ago, MaggiJin said:

I don't think you understand what a relationship is. it is NOT *****ing every random dude that asks. the fact that you think every dude is entitled to be a *****head just ebcause i say i'm looking for a boyfriend tells me everything i need to know about you :)

You are kind of unfair towards lostsoul. Nothing that has been said by them is a statement about how they think relationships are supposed to be or if those men are entitled to IM you with those requests.

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On December 14, 2017 at 9:53 AM, Clover Jinx said:

zero... I'm obviously doing something wrong.

I have over time worked to make my avi more attractive, It seems the better it looks, the less IMs I get, like somehow a great looking avi intimidates them. So I can well imagine they are afraid to talk to Clover.

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On 12/14/2017 at 2:53 PM, Clover Jinx said:

zero... I'm obviously doing something wrong.

It could be bad breath.....

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On 12/26/2017 at 9:34 AM, Talligurl said:

I have over time worked to make my avi more attractive, It seems the better it looks, the less IMs I get, like somehow a great looking avi intimidates them. So I can well imagine they are afraid to talk to Clover.

or it could be that they have already hit on you 5 times already this month.  so maybe they are just waiting till the new year to try again? maybe they are hoping your new years resolution to sleep with men who send messages saying "hi"  then staying around staring at your virtual boobs.

or yes, it could be your avatar looks too good and they are afraid you will have expectations.  by high expectations i mean, they might be afraid you might want them to have a personality and string 5 words together into what sounds like a sentence.  it could definitely scare some men.

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42 minutes ago, lostsoul2017 said:

  by high expectations i mean, they might be afraid you might want them to have a personality and string 5 words together into what sounds like a sentence.  it could definitely scare some men.

You left out if you have a personality and can string together a sentence too or have a hobby besides boinking. Pretty much deal breakers right there.

Douchebag: So what do you like doing in SL

Me: I spend most of my time making mesh clothing and building mesh structures in blender.

Douchebag: ........so what ELSE do you like doing in SL?

Me: That’s pretty much what I do as a hobby while I’m on here.

Douchbag: Oh...*turns to face another woman*

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1 hour ago, lostsoul2017 said:

or it could be that they have already hit on you 5 times already this month.  

Yeah maybe this, this morning I spent 15 minutes in a sim I rarely visit and I got hit on 3 times.

 

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5 hours ago, janetosilio said:

You left out if you have a personality and can string together a sentence too or have a hobby besides boinking. Pretty much deal breakers right there.

Douchebag: So what do you like doing in SL

Me: I spend most of my time making mesh clothing and building mesh structures in blender.

Douchebag: ........so what ELSE do you like doing in SL?

Me: That’s pretty much what I do as a hobby while I’m on here.

Douchbag: Oh...*turns to face another woman*

Wait, Janetosilio, are you implying that the Douchebag was not already messaging 15 female avatars already seeing which one would say yes first to pixel grinding?  if so, that is a rare Douchebag indeed.  sounds like a Douchelite 1.0  ....half the douchyness and half the playing.   probably someone new to douchbaggery.  but don't worry, i'm sure he/she/it will become more adept at disappointing more women at the same time soon.

Edited by lostsoul2017
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1 hour ago, Talligurl said:

Yeah maybe this, this morning I spent 15 minutes in a sim I rarely visit and I got hit on 3 times.

 

Talligurl, wow you really are not getting hit on as much nowdays.  you made your avatar look too good i think.  time to switch back to the system body again so you can enjoy the horrible douchy attention again.  i find the thought that only 3 men/women/weirdfreakypeople wanted to grind your pixals.  what is the Sl world coming to when a woman can't even be sent messages of "sex" anymore. 

 

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Quote

I had to leave a sim because a guy kept following me around trying to get me to insult him for having a small *****. A bit... odd.

 

A troll, not a perv. Block, derender, movelock and, if the place has a staff or reporting system, use it.

 

 

Quote

I’m starting to think I should just make an unattractive avatar.

Dress for yourself, not for (or against) others.

 

 

Quote

I don’t hang around sex sims [...]

Go where you want, for any reason you want.

 

Unless you clearly state that you want to be hit, whoever jumps to that conclusion, the onus is still on them to backpedal –you owe them no answer or attention.

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I keep my AFK message on for this very reason - it's kind of like my virtual answering machine and I use it to field PM's.

I used to notice that when it wasn't on, the persistent male/female would keep messaging until they got blocked, despite me closing out the IM multiple times, but once they get my AFK message, it stops them dead in their tracks. I guess they lose interest when they think no one's reading their text.

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You can also choose to just ignore the messages. Its just a text showing in a chat window. Close it and not pay attention if it bothers you. Consider it unsolicited spam mail.

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Yeah, I get such gems as:

*Random dude* 23cm *****

*Me* I'm pleased for you! It'll be easier to hang yourself with it :)

*Random dude #2* Shall we exchange naked rl pics?

*Me* Can't wait to see if your ***** is as big as mine xD

*Random dude #3* Wanna see my BBC babe?

*Me* Well it can't be that big or wouldn't I know what it looked like without using highlight transparent?

Non.stop.bs even in hair sims

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guess it´s part of where you´re hanging out.... in ...certain...known.... (starter*cough*) sims you get that like 10 in 5 seconds at times... Now I finally manage to shy away from those places and yeah - no IMs either :)

I´m to be found in either my home (which is known to only a few^^), several shopping groups and some of the sims advertised in them (if the preview pics tickle my taste that is^^)

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8 minutes ago, Liana Wildmist said:

Same, doesn't matter what sim at all, Truth hair is full of them!

oh? never been hit on while at Truth... hmmm I´m actually quite tempted to check  xD

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27 minutes ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

oh? never been hit on while at Truth... hmmm I´m actually quite tempted to check  xD

Yep, there was I, camming around at the hair, a guy starts to chat, he's fine so I left him filling my IM while I ignore him to shop. Look at his IM, and it's full of incest, totally vile, stuff. I think I said wow, does telling a 6'3 dude that excite u just as much, he calls ME sick & boots.

There has been several since, maybe these are the ones someone mentioned hang out in female stores, tho I think Truth does male too

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3 minutes ago, Liana Wildmist said:

Yep, there was I, camming around at the hair, a guy starts to chat, he's fine so I left him filling my IM while I ignore him to shop. Look at his IM, and it's full of incest, totally vile, stuff. I think I said wow, does telling a 6'3 dude that excite u just as much, he calls ME sick & boots.

There has been several since, maybe these are the ones someone mentioned hang out in female stores, tho I think Truth does male too

I´m there right now....nothing so far...damn...

hmm yeah I think he did male styles, too.... idk what´s wrong with these people...

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1 minute ago, Akasha Sternberg said:

I´m there right now....nothing so far...damn...

hmm yeah I think he did male styles, too.... idk what´s wrong with these people...

lol can have some fun with some of them, they don't like their fantasies spoilt. Maybe you'll get lucky yet!

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7 minutes ago, Liana Wildmist said:

lol can have some fun with some of them, they don't like their fantasies spoilt. Maybe you'll get lucky yet!

Lexxi did the job, too distracted now xD lil troll she can be xD

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I once had a female alt. I actually found it pretty stressful receiving the sort of messages I got from guys on Second Life. Much persistence. Much stalkage. I quickly turned her into a cute guy and that alt's life has been much better ever since. 

As a gay guy I can say yes, men do receive unsolicited requests for sex but... the way it's done is on a whole better level than 80% of the guys who messaged my, short-lived, female alt. 

Female avatars, you really do have to put up with some rubbish. Total respect for sticking at it. 

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