Playing as a woman in SL - does it give insight as to how women feel in RL?

[Gopi Passiflora]

I thought this would be an interesting topic to bring up considering the sexual assault and harassment allegations and the #MeToo campaign going on in real life.

I am male in real life but some of my most used characters in Second Life are female human avatars. Needless to say, I have encountered stuff like my avis getting hit on and random compliments. Through SL and other MMOs I have experienced that women are treated a little differently than men.

But my question (mainly to the women of the board) is the degree to which a female avi's experience in SL mirrors that of a woman's experience in RL. Does playing as a woman in SL let me know how women really feel in everyday life? And if so, to what degree? 

 

P.S. I'm sorry if the topic message seemed a bit vague...if you know me by now I'm not a good communicator....

[Madelaine McMasters]

I've never had a #MeToo experience, anywhere. So, I'm not the best person to answer your question. That said, I don't think your experience playing as a woman in SL will give you tremendous insight into being a woman in everyday life. #MeToo isn't so much about gender as it is about power imbalance. SL levels the playing field. We all have the power to mute/block/derender/teleport/logout and we've a lot less to lose here. There's an abuse report mechanism available to everyone and there's no penalty for using it appropriately.

Thankfully, I've never found myself subject to inappropriate sexual behavior, unable to repel it, report it, understand it, or forget it. In SL, you won't either.

Want to know what it's like? Ask your female friends. One of them will know.

Edited December 12, 2017 by Madelaine McMasters
#metoo->#MeToo

[Rhonda Huntress]

Not really.  Maybe a little?  Second Life is a whole little encapsulated experience.  Being a woman in SL will let you experience what it's like to be a woman in SL. All the other minutia of RL just disappears in SL. 

[Klytyna]

9 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

the degree to which a female avi's experience in SL mirrors that of a woman's experience in RL

In RL, I've never had hetro males walk into a lesbian bar, walk up to me while I'm there snogging another lesbian, wearing my leather jacket with the lesbian badges on the lapel, and TELL me I MUST be a guy really, because EVERYONE knows real women don't snog other women except in porno vids, and the woman I'm snogging must also be a guy so we're both guys with "teh gay"

In RL I've never had a guy try to grab my crotch from 100 m away, while I'm clothes shopping, as their arms just ain't that long, and their girlfriends/wives will beat the crap out of them if they try, just before the police arrive to drag them to jail.

And so on... No, Female in SL is remarkably unlike Female in RL

 

[Love Zhaoying]

46 minutes ago, Klytyna said:

while I'm there snogging another lesbian, wearing my leather jacket with the lesbian badges on the lapel

That's hot!

[Aislin Ceawlin]

Nope, not even close, imo 

[MaggiJin]

In my experience people treat you differently in sl then they would in wow or another mmo. speaking from experience in mmos once they found out i was a woman they treated me like i was a newbie, no matter how much skill or knowledge i'd shown before. in sl i havn't gotten that treatment. yet.

[norajulian]

To tack onto everything else, SL is primarily female. There aren't as many men in secondlife for whatever reason, be it that we don't do enough "pew-pew!" guns here or the clothing support for female avatars is better. Also, I think it's fair to say that most women in RL don't scamper around topless, boobs flapping about in the wind. AND I don't have to deal with my monthlies in SL, and I can simply log out if I'm feeling witchy. In Rl we have to hold our tongues and bear our punishments for snapping.

As far as the #metoo comparison - no. Just, no. SL is weird, man. 

Edited December 12, 2017 by norajulian

[Janet Voxel]

I’ve never even thought about it that way. I can’t really add much more than what has been said so far because there are certain aspects a virtual life just can’t relay. The best analogy I can give is it’s probably most like having 20/20 vision (being a woman in real life) and being extremely near sighted (being a male with a female avi).

If you’re doing it to understand women better, I could see it being helpful. But it’s still not the same. You might get a sense how other guys can be creepy. But it’s not the same as a guy really touching you inappropriately or a guy following you on your way somewhere.

To use a nicer example: You might get a sense of what it feels like to feel pretty with trying on new hair, different makeup and nails and shoes. Doing that everyday doesn’t compare to going to get a mani/pedi or a spa day once every couple of months or a new hairstyle you know makes you look super cute. 

So you get a taste of the feels, just not even close to a day in the life.

[Ivanova Shostakovich]

18 minutes ago, norajulian said:

SL is weird, man. 

   This about sums it up. Even so, I love it.

[McGrillen]

41 minutes ago, Ivanova Shostakovich said:

   This about sums it up. Even so, I love it.

SL being weird is the reason why I like it.

[LittleMe Jewell]

SL life as a female is nothing like RL life as a female.  Guys are actually creepier and more blunt here than RL.  While I've had my share of sexual harassment in RL - it was pretty normal/common in the era I grew up in - I still never had a guy just come up to me and say 'UR hawt, wanna f**k?' in RL.

There is no easy way to compare them. 

[mortalum]

I think it really depends on where on SL you are and where in RL you are to be honest. I've lived in different cities across the world both in SL and RL, each one is different. I sometimes notice  that SL is a predominantly female world- but in RL still male. 

I've lived in places both RL and SL where you get no harrassment- or you can't walk to the shop without it. It's the same in that way- but in  terms of the fact that RL women are oppressed because of their reproductive systems and physical strength, no- it's not the same. It's really not. 

[Paul Hexem]

[Tari Landar]

Everyone else already gave better answers than I can..but...

Nope

The two, while similar in some rights, are still, generally speaking, worlds apart in far more ways than they have in common  

[Theresa Ravenheart]

Not even a little Gopi. You can click that little [x] and escape any situation, nothing can happen to your physical body and anything that effects your mental health, you are allowing it to happen by not leaving/blocked/closing SL. I am sorry, but being a female in SL can never, ever, compare to what it is like in RL!

[Talligurl]

17 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

SL life as a female is nothing like RL life as a female.  Guys are actually creepier and more blunt here than RL.  While I've had my share of sexual harassment in RLr - it was pretty normal/common in the era I grew up in - I still never had a guy just come up to me and say 'UR hawt, wanna f**k?' in RL.

There is no easy way to compare them. 

Well of course not, since in RL we are no where near as hawt, which is another huge difference in RL we stress over our appearance and spend all sorts of time and money trying to look good, and still walk out of the house feeling ugly. Here we can easily be gorgeous and we feel gorgeous.

Edited December 13, 2017 by Talligurl

[Chaser Zaks]

In Second Life, I have avatars of various genders, however regardless of gender my avatar currently is, I have been asked for "fun times" by both genders. I either just ignore them or try to creep them out at that point.

[Rhonda Huntress]

9 minutes ago, Chaser Zaks said:

or try to creep them out at that point

Going by some of the requests I have received, that would just turn them on.

 

 

[ThorinII]

On 12/12/2017 at 5:57 AM, Gopi Passiflora said:

 

Does playing as a woman in SL let me know how women really feel in everyday life?

As far as I know, playing a woman in SL simply makes you experience how women in SL are treated. However, how you feel in a particular situation  might be similar to how a real woman might feel in the same situation. However, you can't compare SL and RL in that regard. Most males are much more blunt here, as I have to admit shamefully.

A girl of mine once told me what she had to endure when she was newbie helper at a Community Gateway. How she was treated (and her other female colleagues as well) by male newbies and oldbies alike, compared to the male helpers. It wasn't a pleasant tale, believe me.

Unfortunately, there are many places in SL where a woman is seen as inferior to a man - and moreso if she wears a collar.

[LittleMe Jewell]

1 hour ago, ThorinII said:

As far as I know, playing a woman in SL simply makes you experience how women in SL are treated.

This.  You may get an idea of how often a woman is hit upon in SL compared to men.  Or maybe you'll see how crude so many men are here.  

Granted, if some men think that they can behave towards SL women that way, that alone may give some insight into how those guys think in RL and thus what any RL women in their lives might have to deal with.

[Janet Voxel]

I think it depends on where you live, occupation and lifestyle too. 

I’ve known RL women that played SL in the day and danced at night.

I also used to work at a Big Box store, doing orders for contractors. Let me tell you, some of the things contractors say and do are just like some of the wackiest, shameless things a man can say to you on SL, but for real.

But then again I live in a major east coast city, some woman in the Midwest  probably never experienced things, I wouldn’t even bat an eye at, because they happen so often.

[Rhonda Huntress]

4 hours ago, ThorinII said:

As far as I know, playing a woman in SL simply makes you experience how women in SL are treated.

 

3 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

This.

 

On 12/12/2017 at 7:47 AM, Rhonda Huntress said:

Being a woman in SL will let you experience what it's like to be a woman in SL

*sniff*

Oh, I see.  I say it and it doesn't mean anything.  Some hunk of beef cake comes along and it's This! ..

/me sobs dramatically.

 

 

[LittleMe Jewell]

On 12/12/2017 at 6:47 AM, Rhonda Huntress said:

 Being a woman in SL will let you experience what it's like to be a woman in SL.

This, of course !!

 

 

[NevaehHeartstrings]

On 12/11/2017 at 11:57 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

 P.S. I'm sorry if the topic message seemed a bit vague...if you know me by now I'm not a good communicator....

Thats OK ...sometimes we need to think outside the box.

 

 

 

Edited December 14, 2017 by NevaehHeartstrings