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Wolf Silverpath

IS THIS ***** EVEN JUSTIFIED!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I am so frustrated and pissed off right now!

I don't even know why I am on here ranting, but I need some outside eyes to assess this situation. 

I met a woman who SEEMED nice at the time  we did some ballroom dancing and talking for about 45 mins and we went back to my skybox after that and were intimate. Now last I checked this did not mean there was some unspoken vow to date. So the next day she messages me still very friendly and she wants to hang out . I told her I could not. I really wasn't looking for anything long term or even looking to date anyone. 

Anyway I guess she felt rejected like I broke some wedding vow and she now showed up to my rp sim with many nasty things in her profile about me. At least 3 columns in her picks talking about how nasty and womanizing I am. Also she has things I said to her during the sex in her PICKS!  And it was said in local as it is my private land and no one else was there.  As it was in local she is saying TOS does not apply. 

IS THIS EVEN JUSTIFIED??? To go to this length putting all the private things I said while making love and saying degrading things about me and my libido?????

DO I DESERVE THIS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SEE HER A SECOND TIME?????

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Wolf Silverpath said:

IS THIS EVEN JUSTIFIED??? To go to this length putting all the private things I said while making love and saying degrading things about me and my libido?????

DO I DESERVE THIS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SEE HER A SECOND TIME?????

 

 

No.

No.

Write in your own profile you don't do relationships, only fun flings.

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Bunny boiler. 

You could mute her and ban her from entering your sim.  Or you could just smile like it doesn't bother you and ignore her.  "Honey you weren't so good yourself but I tried to let you down gently.  Do you realise all that in your profile is just going to make the next guy run a mile?"

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Well, we can only see out of the perspective that you provide, so how much of an assessment out of 'outside eyes' we can provide is very limited. 

What 45 minutes of 'being nice' implies is much too vague, and with that as the singular conclusion to go by as far as its contents are concerned, one must make an assumption upon your next statement - that after those 45 minutes you both went to your place for intimacy, and it being SL one must assume that this was entirely consensual by both parties. Now, social convention regarding courtship is a bit iffy these days as there are no clear 'rules', especially in SL - but no, I would personally not think that doing the deed after such a brief acquaintance might be regarded as any statement of intended courtship, but that's more of an issue of the contents of your conversation really.

However, she apparently felt differently, which only tells us that whatever was said, her expectations were different to your intentions - this can of course be attributed to a variety of reasons, each of which only really concludes that there was a failure of communication on this question; the party responsible of which being impossible to discern without hearing her side of the story. 

Now, her reaction to this does rather feel unsympathetic, disproportionate even. It would be easy to frown upon it and say that it is a severe breach of conduct. However, not knowing her side, this would be an unfair assessment. Honestly, her reaction is too overdone to be a simple misunderstanding of intentions and expectations. So, either she's hysterical - which I'm not finding difficult to believe - or, she felt deceived and abused, which wouldn't be difficult to believe either. 

So, do you deserve it? Try asking yourself that once you're composed.

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56 minutes ago, Wolf Silverpath said:

in her PICKS!  And it was said in local as it is my private land and no one else was there.  As it was in local she is saying TOS does not apply. 

If you didn't gave your consent to publish this conversation, it's against the ToS.

 

4 minutes ago, Orwar said:

Honestly, her reaction is too overdone to be a simple misunderstanding of intentions and expectations. So, either she's hysterical - which I'm not finding difficult to believe - or, she felt deceived and abused, which wouldn't be difficult to believe either. 

Sometimes it's related too. I would rarely 'overreact' if I don't feel fooled.

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1 hour ago, Wolf Silverpath said:

Now last I checked this did not mean there was some unspoken vow to date

Well there are a whole lot of people in SL who seem to feel otherwise, and lots of them are guys. Sometimes I even get this from guys that I have charged Lindens for sex. I want to say to them "Dude you paid for a good time and I gave you what you paid for, it doesn't mean I love you" 

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4 hours ago, Wolf Silverpath said:

 As it was in local she is saying TOS does not apply. 

And she is wrong.

Read the community standards about disclosure yourself.

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You can file an abuse report and support ticket against her for privacy violations as well as the ever popular 'sexual harassment' report. Then promptly block, lock and ban, and be wiser this go round :)

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8 hours ago, Orwar said:

 

However, she apparently felt differently, which only tells us that whatever was said, her expectations were different to your intentions - this can of course be attributed to a variety of reasons, each of which only really concludes that there was a failure of communication on this question; the party responsible of which being impossible to discern without hearing her side of the story. 

 

i can only agree with you. It wouldn't be  the first time I see this kind of thing happen, when a guy in SL misleads a woman just for sex.

We can only guess what you said to her for 45 minutes to get her to go with you and when the 'thing' was done she became old news for you. I think she would have reacted diferently if she knew what she signs up for.

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7 hours ago, Kortney20 Crystal said:

i can only agree with you. It wouldn't be  the first time I see this kind of thing happen, when a guy in SL misleads a woman just for sex.

We can only guess what you said to her for 45 minutes to get her to go with you and when the 'thing' was done she became old news for you. I think she would have reacted diferently if she knew what she signs up for.

I'm not taking sides and I will neither condone nor condemn either party's action.

However, I have had men basically think we are married because of one interaction.  I had a guy once ask me why I had not added him to my picks to let everyone know how we felt about each other after 5 minutes of dancing.   I kid you not.  "Where are you from? What do you do? Why haven't you told everyone we are a couple?"

 

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22 hours ago, Wolf Silverpath said:

  the private things I said while making love

Note the part that I bolded above.  That phrase seems quite inconsistent with this other statement you made:

22 hours ago, Wolf Silverpath said:

I told her I could not. I really wasn't looking for anything long term or even looking to date anyone. 

 

So, did you use the 'L' word at all that night?  In any context?  

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On 11/30/2017 at 4:09 PM, Wolf Silverpath said:

IS THIS EVEN JUSTIFIED??? To go to this length putting all the private things I said while making love and saying degrading things about me and my libido?????

DO I DESERVE THIS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SEE HER A SECOND TIME?????

 

No, from what we have heard, it does not sound justified nor does anyone necessarily deserve such treatment. Like others have said, best thing to do would be to ignore her and try to stay away. Try not to let her ruffle your feathers too much.

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On ‎11‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 5:09 PM, Wolf Silverpath said:

IS THIS EVEN JUSTIFIED??? To go to this length putting all the private things I said while making love and saying degrading things about me and my libido?????

DO I DESERVE THIS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SEE HER A SECOND TIME?????

 

 

You so don't deserve this.  It seems the nice lady is unbalanced and revengeful and sprinkled in nutty.  I'd report her, mute and block her and just get on with my sl if I were you.     

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If you are telling the truth (which I am for some reason inclined to believe you are) then you know full well you stumbled upon an utter nutjob. Report and block, try to forget about it. Even if you don't she'll still get bored of trying to humiliate and harass you as soon as they give her nightly meds. 

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I had a psycho go off on me once because i told her I didn't want to partner anyone right now then I turned around and partnered someone else.

Note: When some one says they don't want to be partnered to anyone, it usually means they don't want to be partnered to YOU

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On 30 November 2017 at 11:09 PM, Wolf Silverpath said:

all the private things I said while making love

Hahaha... Just for the record, technically, if you are having a one time one night stand with a total stranger you never expect to see again, it's not "making love", it's "having sex", or "tomcatting around", "having a quick fumble", "chasing tail" etc.

Just so you know, I suspect your confusion on this issue MIGHT have included saying things during "having a random shag" that MIGHT have led her to think you gave a damn.

So while you probably don't deserve all this, you certainly are not an "innocent and blameless victim" are you?

Mute, de-render, move on to your next "bunny-boiler-to-be" and next rime, just have sex, ok, forget the "making lurve baybeeee" crapolla, and save us all from having to wade though your post coital drama...
 

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It does not matter what the OP originally said or did not say, do or did not do , wore or did not wear, etc. No means no. I really love the double standard in this and essentially victim blaming. There is a lot of raging going on over the fact on other media corners if a victim is so much as insinuated as any inkling of the cause. OP did not bring in any name, or the exact thing that was said against them. They simply asked if this situation was the norm in some view and acceptable behavior from anyone. The tryst , it seems it irrelevant to context to some degree.

In more than 95% of articles too, the victims are always women (the fault lies in the fact that men do need to speak up and stand up for themselves) because of societal beliefs that men should be able to stand up to such a situation and the thought of them being a target is laughable in most peoples eyes, but when it's an attack of text against our character can any of us really say we saw it coming and knew just how to handle it? Whether it's online interaction or RL real time face to face physical, vocal or text. No means no . man or woman.

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8 hours ago, Hunter Stern said:

It does not matter what the OP originally said or did not say, do or did not do , wore or did not wear, etc. No means no. I really love the double standard in this and essentially victim blaming. There is a lot of raging going on over the fact on other media corners if a victim is so much as insinuated as any inkling of the cause. OP did not bring in any name, or the exact thing that was said against them. They simply asked if this situation was the norm in some view and acceptable behavior from anyone. The tryst , it seems it irrelevant to context to some degree.

In more than 95% of articles too, the victims are always women (the fault lies in the fact that men do need to speak up and stand up for themselves) because of societal beliefs that men should be able to stand up to such a situation and the thought of them being a target is laughable in most peoples eyes, but when it's an attack of text against our character can any of us really say we saw it coming and knew just how to handle it? Whether it's online interaction or RL real time face to face physical, vocal or text. No means no . man or woman.

Wait a sec Are you comparing this to real life sexual assault? You're disgusting. No one was sexually assaulted. you do disservice to us real victims/survivors.

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On 11/30/2017 at 6:09 PM, Wolf Silverpath said:

I am so frustrated and pissed off right now!

I don't even know why I am on here ranting, but I need some outside eyes to assess this situation. 

I met a woman who SEEMED nice at the time  we did some ballroom dancing and talking for about 45 mins and we went back to my skybox after that and were intimate. Now last I checked this did not mean there was some unspoken vow to date. So the next day she messages me still very friendly and she wants to hang out . I told her I could not. I really wasn't looking for anything long term or even looking to date anyone. 

Anyway I guess she felt rejected like I broke some wedding vow and she now showed up to my rp sim with many nasty things in her profile about me. At least 3 columns in her picks talking about how nasty and womanizing I am. Also she has things I said to her during the sex in her PICKS!  And it was said in local as it is my private land and no one else was there.  As it was in local she is saying TOS does not apply. 

IS THIS EVEN JUSTIFIED??? To go to this length putting all the private things I said while making love and saying degrading things about me and my libido?????

DO I DESERVE THIS BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SEE HER A SECOND TIME?????

 

 

You probably led her on all evening just to get her into bed, then kept it up during your lovemaking.

Next day shes all happy to see you after a wonderful romantic evening, and you blew her off.

Nice.

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11 hours ago, Hunter Stern said:

It does not matter what the OP originally said or did not say, do or did not do , wore or did not wear, etc. No means no. I really love the double standard in this and essentially victim blaming. There is a lot of raging going on over the fact on other media corners if a victim is so much as insinuated as any inkling of the cause. OP did not bring in any name, or the exact thing that was said against them. They simply asked if this situation was the norm in some view and acceptable behavior from anyone. The tryst , it seems it irrelevant to context to some degree.

In more than 95% of articles too, the victims are always women (the fault lies in the fact that men do need to speak up and stand up for themselves) because of societal beliefs that men should be able to stand up to such a situation and the thought of them being a target is laughable in most peoples eyes, but when it's an attack of text against our character can any of us really say we saw it coming and knew just how to handle it? Whether it's online interaction or RL real time face to face physical, vocal or text. No means no . man or woman.

The hell?

Who said no here? 

Why are you comparing what the OP says happened after to some kind of assault....I don't even want to venture into what it sounds like you're trying to compare it to. 

I am really hoping you just worded your reply terribly though, and the comparison it *seems* you're trying to draw, doesn't actually exist. 

We have no clue if OP is even telling the truth, and as is often the case, there are always three sides to every story, side A, side B and the truth, which sits somewhere in the middle. Lots of folks have posted about odd ways they've been treated by someone else after an event of some sort....and they all pretty much get the same kind of responses. Some stand with them, some stand against them, and some stand in between. I sit in between, in most cases, because it's really hard to make a judgment call when you've only got one side of a story, and you can't even be sure that's truthful. I feel bad for folks that think they've been treated badly, sure...but I'm not just going to believe them about what happened simply because they said so. I've sen way too many he said/she said that are the exact *opposite* of the story often told by the one that feels they've been harmed in some manner.  If they were someone that I speak with a lot here on the forums, or even inworld, sure..I feel I "know" them a wee bit better, taking them at face value is a lot easier when there's some familiarity.  But a perfect stranger? Nah, at least, not when it comes to something like *this*.  Let me see the whole picture and then I can offer advice, perhaps even "pick a side", but I'm not keen on doing so with a one-sided report of events, that requires way more assumption than I'm willing to work at giving out :D

 

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3 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

The hell?

Who said no here? 

Why are you comparing what the OP says happened after to some kind of assault....I don't even want to venture into what it sounds like you're trying to compare it to. 

I am really hoping you just worded your reply terribly though, and the comparison it *seems* you're trying to draw, doesn't actually exist. 

We have no clue if OP is even telling the truth, and as is often the case, there are always three sides to every story, side A, side B and the truth, which sits somewhere in the middle. Lots of folks have posted about odd ways they've been treated by someone else after an event of some sort....and they all pretty much get the same kind of responses. Some stand with them, some stand against them, and some stand in between. I sit in between, in most cases, because it's really hard to make a judgment call when you've only got one side of a story, and you can't even be sure that's truthful. I feel bad for folks that think they've been treated badly, sure...but I'm not just going to believe them about what happened simply because they said so. I've sen way too many he said/she said that are the exact *opposite* of the story often told by the one that feels they've been harmed in some manner.  If they were someone that I speak with a lot here on the forums, or even inworld, sure..I feel I "know" them a wee bit better, taking them at face value is a lot easier when there's some familiarity.  But a perfect stranger? Nah, at least, not when it comes to something like *this*.  Let me see the whole picture and then I can offer advice, perhaps even "pick a side", but I'm not keen on doing so with a one-sided report of events, that requires way more assumption than I'm willing to work at giving out :D

 

ooooo we could invite her in here to give her side, then start a pool about how long before the thread is shut down by a Linden.

I pick 24 hours after her first post.

:)

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So then what are you all comparing it to. They weren't picking digital flowers, according to the OP. Lets see, the nature of the relationship was one of 'sexual' or adult in nature and also tack onto that harassment as well as disclosure and possibly disturbing the peace ( check your CS again guidelines again Disturbing the Peace , actions that interfere with or disrupt the Service, servers, or other systems related to the Service will not be tolerated in any form. If LL agrees with this interpretation in this particular case, I do not know, that is up to LL.)

I am NOT stating anyone is to blame. I am mererly pointing out that regardless of who said what or did what that we agree (or atleast I should only hope we do) that we deserve to be treated with common decency. And YES , if you want to get down to brass tacks, regardless if the conversation or interaction was RL or Virtual (text) it can be taken as sexual harassment in some areas, yes you can file a real life complaint if warranted against another party for unwanted text or communications if they persist for any number of reasons. But aside from that you can include the complete nature of the behavior and communication/content in an AR/support ticket and that is what the OP was advised to do. File an AR and/or support ticket.

The OP was not asking whether you believe him or not. He was taken aback by untoward behavior of another resident and wanted to know if his feelings we founded.  We don't need another side to the story because in the end it is not up to us other than we can shun one party or the other or both should any of us run into them or simply move on and wish either the best in RL and SL.

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On 11/30/2017 at 3:23 PM, Sybaine Falconer said:

No.

No.

Write in your own profile you don't do relationships, only fun flings.

Actually you would be the one doing a disservice to most people, implying that if you don't have some disclaimer in your profile, then you just might deserve to get that mistreatment. Honestly , people shouldn't have to put anymore (or anything) than they want in their profile and still be treated decently. If anything that might just make one a target for in world trolls at best looking for just the right crumbs to pick up on and push buttons.

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1 hour ago, Hunter Stern said:

So then what are you all comparing it to. They weren't picking digital flowers, according to the OP. Lets see, the nature of the relationship was one of 'sexual' or adult in nature and also tack onto that harassment as well as disclosure and possibly disturbing the peace ( check your CS again guidelines again Disturbing the Peace , actions that interfere with or disrupt the Service, servers, or other systems related to the Service will not be tolerated in any form. If LL agrees with this interpretation in this particular case, I do not know, that is up to LL.)

I am NOT stating anyone is to blame. I am mererly pointing out that regardless of who said what or did what that we agree (or atleast I should only hope we do) that we deserve to be treated with common decency. And YES , if you want to get down to brass tacks, regardless if the conversation or interaction was RL or Virtual (text) it can be taken as sexual harassment in some areas, yes you can file a real life complaint if warranted against another party for unwanted text or communications if they persist for any number of reasons. But aside from that you can include the complete nature of the behavior and communication/content in an AR/support ticket and that is what the OP was advised to do. File an AR and/or support ticket.

The OP was not asking whether you believe him or not. He was taken aback by untoward behavior of another resident and wanted to know if his feelings we founded.  We don't need another side to the story because in the end it is not up to us other than we can shun one party or the other or both should any of us run into them or simply move on and wish either the best in RL and SL.

Its not disturbing the peace, lmao, someone being a jerk in their profile towards another person-assuming that happened-isn't interfering with the *service, or servers, in any manner), it's merely potentially disturbing towards another resident, but otherwise, LL will agree it's not disturbing the peace. It also doesn't have to have an impact on one's sl experience, it's quite easy to avoid and ignore, in fact. Annoying as it may be(and yes, I agree, it would be), OP has tools at their disposal to handle it. It's a resident to resident dispute, something which LL is vehemently against getting involved in until, or unless, there are real actual consequences.  Harassment, even treating another resident terribly, a jerk move, yes perhaps...but again you're basing that off the assumption that OP is telling the truth. I'm not sure why you're blindly believing it, but, kudos to you for doing so. I won't tell someone their feelings about an act, or acts are justified if I don't know the acts actually took place. That's just my take though, and I'm likely alone in that thinking. I rarely blindly believe people...I've enough blindness in my life ;)

I don't need to compare it to anything. I don't like telling people "yeah, you're right, you did nothing wrong, your feelings are justified, other party is an asshat" when I can't be certain that's even remotely true. Maybe the OP did, in fact, lead someone on, and do something to contribute. Maybe the other party did not in fact say nasty things about the OP in her profile, or retaliate after merely one romp in the hay. Maybe the OP is in fact, spot on, and the other party was more than just a wee bit of a jerk. I don't know...I can't say...I sure as hell won't compare it to a rl assault though-that's just...meh. I don't want to go down that road, it's not cool to do so, at all...there IS no comparison here, even IF the events set before us are true...no comparison at all. 

 

 

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