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Warning: Long rant pointless drama. Moral dilemma: A creepy admirer (old friend) from the past...


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Storytime ...you might wanna sit back and listen to the whole story. Its long.

One day logging into my old account from my alt account, i came across an old friend who imed me as soon as i got on. He was so happy and asked how are things...etc and this guy was a huge admirer of me and in a creepy way. Creepy because i told him i didnt like him even he kept pursueing me i kept trying to friendzone him becos i felt like he wud always lustfully chat to me in a perverted way and would never back off. And it really made me feel all awkward and gross. But i didnt block him or delete him wich i regretted alot with what happened now.

Talking to him again he sounded nice and i thought he had changed and we cud become good friends again. But no, he didnt turn out what i thought. stupidly, i told him he can add me on my new account thinking i cud give him a chance. Then he sabotages it and goes back to being my super creepy perverted admirer. And this is all becos i needed some lindens. And who do i go to scab some lindens off? My own perverted admirer. So i asked him like it was no big deal and he pays me 200L what i asked. I thanked him happily.

Then, the next day i loggon and he messages me, 'can you pay me 100 lindens?' I didnt have it then cos i alredy  spent all and told him i had 0 lindens left. But i was willing to pay him back as soon as i earned some. Then he offers me, 'well you could give me something else for me instead..' first he asked me to do was to go on voice and moan for him while we have sex. I told him firmly no i would feel weird about it... I dont voice for sexual favors. Then in the end he negotiates to just have sex with me, but it has to be amazing sex. On my impulse i said okay, but only becos i wanted him to stop asking me after this and it will be the only one time i will do it. I just wud do anythng for this guy to leave me alone..but deep down inside i wasnt even comfortable to do it for him.

That night he asked me and i was so tired from staying up on sl to 4am i wanted to sleep. I told him i would have tondo it next time,  but he was being pushy and wanted me to ***** him now. I forced myself to have sex with him and it just felt like im gonna have the crappiest sex, im not even turned on at all becos i dont like this guy. Then as we were beggining to do it, i stopped midway and told him that i was tired n needing sleep. But to make him happy i promised him i would finish the rest next time. In my head i was just hoping, no more next time.

But he is still freakin online WAITING for me. I didnt logon sl after that. And here i am scared in my pants to face him, writing a post expressing my fears in a forum. Sad i know. But i just want to have some advice how to slide this guy off after i took his lindens and a way to never have sex with him. I dont  want to be so hard on him either...becos i cant even say no and too weak to end it...give me some strength people.

 

 

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But you are begging, as per the following: Also: You're already in the same situation again, and you can't even see it. Remember this? Tell me: what were those L$ for? Why did you

Err... let's put some realistic measure into the emotional lament with the sudden switch in direction: All the drama for one freaking dollar and a half. Including fees. Maybe US$ 1.62 if you want to

You already know how to do this. It's in the first part of your post: Simple. If you still feel guilty about the L$, pay him back what you owe him, but do it silently and without fanfare. 

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8 minutes ago, ellawaifu said:

But i just want to have some advice how to slide this guy off after i took his lindens and a way to never have sex with him.

You already know how to do this. It's in the first part of your post:

8 minutes ago, ellawaifu said:

But i didnt block him or delete him wich i regretted alot with what happened now.

Simple.

If you still feel guilty about the L$, pay him back what you owe him, but do it silently and without fanfare.  Don't tell him "Here's the money I owe you"; just pay him. He'll see what it is and who it's from. Then, don't send him any IMs, don't contact him anymore. Not at all. Just one click - block/mute - on both of your avatars. Ban him from any land you own. Don't go to places you both used to visit. If you must, hide your groups so he can't join them and see when you're online.

Last resort - and this one will rely on your own willpower for not contacting him again - create a new avatar.

Edited by Skell Dagger
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I thought about it, paying him back and say nothing and its going to take  awhile for me to make 200l without a job. A easy option but a long process And i will have to go on deep focus to making it until i can finally block that pervy ass

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1 minute ago, ellawaifu said:

its going to take  awhile for me to make 200l without a job

You can make that fairly quickly in the Linden Realms:

http://secondlife.com/destinations/realms

 

1 minute ago, ellawaifu said:

i will have to go on deep focus to making it until i can finally block

You can block him now. No need to wait until you have the money. Block him now, save the money, then make the payment (be aware that this will unblock him, so you'll need to block him again afterwards).

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You're welcome :)

And for future reference, don't ask for/take money from guys who creep you out, and take Maya Angelou's wise words to heart when it comes to people like him: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

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But seriously, I wouldn't pay him back, if you feel you owe him another sexual encounter, just set your avi on a poseball with him and let him have his fling while you look at the Marketplace to figure out what you want to spend his money on. Every now and then you can come back with a "Oh this is so good". When he asks for it again, ask him for more money.

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3 hours ago, ellawaifu said:

Talking to him again he sounded nice and i thought he had changed and we cud become good friends again. But no, he didnt turn out what i thought. stupidly, i told him he can add me on my new account thinking i cud give him a chance. Then he sabotages it and goes back to being my super creepy perverted admirer.

As someone who's dealt with a lot of friends and non-friends from the past, you can still block him. You are not obligated to keep in contact with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. 

 

3 hours ago, ellawaifu said:

And this is all becos i needed some lindens. And who do i go to scab some lindens off? My own perverted admirer. So i asked him like it was no big deal and he pays me 200L what i asked. I thanked him happily.

Gurrrrrrrrl, no!
 

3 hours ago, ellawaifu said:

But he is still freakin online WAITING for me. I didnt logon sl after that. And here i am scared in my pants to face him, writing a post expressing my fears in a forum. Sad i know. But i just want to have some advice how to slide this guy off after i took his lindens and a way to never have sex with him. I dont  want to be so hard on him either...becos i cant even say no and too weak to end it...give me some strength people.

You can say no to having sex with him. You're not comfortable, and you shouldn't have to. There's also mixed opinions about whether or not you should just pay him back. You know, I would just pay him back in full and block him. If you don't, he could keep coming after you, claiming you owe him money. It's just another reason for him to keep pursuing you. You would also have clean hands (or a "clean conscience" as Resi said). You would owe him nothing. 

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I, too, am going to disagree with Talli. And I'll re-post the OP with my reasons for disagreeing highlighted:

3 hours ago, ellawaifu said:

Storytime ...you might wanna sit back and listen to the whole story. Its long.

One day logging into my old account from my alt account, i came across an old friend who imed me as soon as i got on. He was so happy and asked how are things...etc and this guy was a huge admirer of me and in a creepy way. Creepy because i told him i didnt like him even he kept pursueing me i kept trying to friendzone him becos i felt like he wud always lustfully chat to me in a perverted way and would never back off. And it really made me feel all awkward and gross. But i didnt block him or delete him wich i regretted alot with what happened now.

Talking to him again he sounded nice and i thought he had changed and we cud become good friends again. But no, he didnt turn out what i thought. stupidly, i told him he can add me on my new account thinking i cud give him a chance. Then he sabotages it and goes back to being my super creepy perverted admirer. And this is all becos i needed some lindens. And who do i go to scab some lindens off? My own perverted admirer. So i asked him like it was no big deal and he pays me 200L what i asked. I thanked him happily.

Then, the next day i loggon and he messages me, 'can you pay me 100 lindens?' I didnt have it then cos i alredy  spent all and told him i had 0 lindens left. But i was willing to pay him back as soon as i earned some. Then he offers me, 'well you could give me something else for me instead..' first he asked me to do was to go on voice and moan for him while we have sex. I told him firmly no i would feel weird about it... I dont voice for sexual favors. Then in the end he negotiates to just have sex with me, but it has to be amazing sex. On my impulse i said okay, but only becos i wanted him to stop asking me after this and it will be the only one time i will do it. I just wud do anythng for this guy to leave me alone..but deep down inside i wasnt even comfortable to do it for him.

That night he asked me and i was so tired from staying up on sl to 4am i wanted to sleep. I told him i would have tondo it next time,  but he was being pushy and wanted me to ***** him now. I forced myself to have sex with him and it just felt like im gonna have the crappiest sex, im not even turned on at all becos i dont like this guy. Then as we were beggining to do it, i stopped midway and told him that i was tired n needing sleep. But to make him happy i promised him i would finish the rest next time. In my head i was just hoping, no more next time.

But he is still freakin online WAITING for me. I didnt logon sl after that. And here i am scared in my pants to face him, writing a post expressing my fears in a forum. Sad i know. But i just want to have some advice how to slide this guy off after i took his lindens and a way to never have sex with him. I dont  want to be so hard on him either...becos i cant even say no and too weak to end it...give me some strength people.

The OP has clearly stated that this guy is pushy, forceful, refuses to back off, makes her feel gross, wanted her to connect her RL self sexually to his RL self (by voicing with him), and that she's scared of him.

There are too many women in SL who receive unwanted sexual advances in IM. We see threads and posts about it all the time here. By using him to get more money in the suggested way (if she could even bring herself to do it), she would just be confirming to him that his tactics of being forceful and demanding and refusing to back off actually work. Which, in turn, would probably lead to him doing it to even more women.

By all means have sex for money in SL. There are no laws against it here. But - just like IRL - only do it if both partners are willing. Otherwise you're just validating an abusive mindset.

Edited by Skell Dagger
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23 minutes ago, Resi Pfeffer said:

I dont agree with Talli.

You should pay back the loan, no matter how creepy he is.
Makes him unable to say, you just ripped him off, and you also get a clean conscience.

Was it a loan? Did you ask him to give you the money or loan it to you, if you asked for a gift and he agreed then that is how you should treat it, if you agreed before to pay him back then do that, but do not let him change the terms. 

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Just now, Talligurl said:

Was it a loan? Did you ask him to give you the money or loan it to you, if you asked for a gift and he agreed then that is how you should treat it, if you agreed before to pay him back then do that, but do not let him change the terms. 

Indeed, she didnt say, its a loan, but after the money flew he asked for sex, and she forced herself... I dont know much more detail.

So, she should just pay it back, and things are solved.
If i would be in that situation, i would pay back 250 LD instead of 200, just to tell him, im not dependant on him. Like: "You can keep the rest, creep."

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3 hours ago, ellawaifu said:

Storytime ...you might wanna sit back and listen to the whole story. Its long.

One day logging into my old account from my alt account, i came across an old friend who imed me as soon as i got on. He was so happy and asked how are things...etc and this guy was a huge admirer of me and in a creepy way. Creepy because i told him i didnt like him even he kept pursueing me i kept trying to friendzone him becos i felt like he wud always lustfully chat to me in a perverted way and would never back off. And it really made me feel all awkward and gross. But i didnt block him or delete him wich i regretted alot with what happened now.

Talking to him again he sounded nice and i thought he had changed and we cud become good friends again. But no, he didnt turn out what i thought. stupidly, i told him he can add me on my new account thinking i cud give him a chance. Then he sabotages it and goes back to being my super creepy perverted admirer. And this is all becos i needed some lindens. And who do i go to scab some lindens off? My own perverted admirer. So i asked him like it was no big deal and he pays me 200L what i asked. I thanked him happily.

Then, the next day i loggon and he messages me, 'can you pay me 100 lindens?' I didnt have it then cos i alredy  spent all and told him i had 0 lindens left. But i was willing to pay him back as soon as i earned some. Then he offers me, 'well you could give me something else for me instead..' first he asked me to do was to go on voice and moan for him while we have sex. I told him firmly no i would feel weird about it... I dont voice for sexual favors. Then in the end he negotiates to just have sex with me, but it has to be amazing sex. On my impulse i said okay, but only becos i wanted him to stop asking me after this and it will be the only one time i will do it. I just wud do anythng for this guy to leave me alone..but deep down inside i wasnt even comfortable to do it for him.

That night he asked me and i was so tired from staying up on sl to 4am i wanted to sleep. I told him i would have tondo it next time,  but he was being pushy and wanted me to ***** him now. I forced myself to have sex with him and it just felt like im gonna have the crappiest sex, im not even turned on at all becos i dont like this guy. Then as we were beggining to do it, i stopped midway and told him that i was tired n needing sleep. But to make him happy i promised him i would finish the rest next time. In my head i was just hoping, no more next time.

But he is still freakin online WAITING for me. I didnt logon sl after that. And here i am scared in my pants to face him, writing a post expressing my fears in a forum. Sad i know. But i just want to have some advice how to slide this guy off after i took his lindens and a way to never have sex with him. I dont  want to be so hard on him either...becos i cant even say no and too weak to end it...give me some strength people.

 

 

Fortunately, this is something you did within SL, so unless you were silly/naive enough to give him any real life details, you can block/mute him and forget about him - move on, and don't do this again! No matter how skint you are.  Unless you want to do *that* for a living - and frankly, for 200L$, all I would be prepared to do is leave a bot avatar hanging on a dancing pole somewhere (I did this accidentally once, just parked my avatar while I went for a real life number two, and when I got back, I had a really long IM from an obviously lonely, but really quite sweet older guy, and nothing at all pervy, he just chatted away for a while, then said he was sorry to have bothered me, thanked me for listening, and slipped 400L$ across to my avatar!)

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Last night I was battling myself whether the right thing to do was to pay him back and throw him back with the extra interest or let this one go and ignore it. But really inside I felt I wouldn’t be able to feel okay about this knowing I had some unresolved mess. Especially from a guy i do not want anything to do with in the future. blocking him didn’t erase anything from my mind. honestly don’t like oweing money to anyone.he didn’t say it was a loan after he gave me 200L but he didn’t say either you don’t have to pay me back. But, I made a promise to him already when I said I would Continue to have sex with him. Instead I broke my promise I’ll just go with what I originally told him. I’ll pay him everything back as soon as I earn some, and include the extra interest to make up for the unfinished deal.

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59 minutes ago, ellawaifu said:

Btw only give if you want to. I’m not going to beg here..it’s just for helping me.

but you DO it, and even try to find excuses for it... ugly and just very bad attitude.

Your post gets a lot clearer now.

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1 hour ago, Alwin Alcott said:

but you DO it, and even try to find excuses for it... ugly and just very bad attitude.

Your post gets a lot clearer now.

Don’t be so quick on judging me without knowing me in person. I only asked. I never said anything bad to anyone. It’s my a freedom of speech and your choice if you want to help. If you don’t have any good advice don’t be here telling who is the one with the bad attitude. Have respect.

P.s I warned you at the description at the top.

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1 hour ago, ellawaifu said:

Don’t be so quick on judging me without knowing me in person. I only asked. I never said anything bad to anyone. It’s my a freedom of speech and your choice if you want to help. If you don’t have any good advice don’t be here telling who is the one with the bad attitude. Have respect.

P.s I warned you at the description at the top.

sweety it's a forum, not a personal owned blog or website, and you showed clearly what the problem is.

And because i don't speak bad in any way, just make conclusions from what you wrote yourself, it's also my freedom of speech to do so.

My good advice would be: dont give a dime, it's caused by th OP herself.

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Err... let's put some realistic measure into the emotional lament with the sudden switch in direction:
All the drama for one freaking dollar and a half. Including fees. Maybe US$ 1.62 if you want to pay back L$ 250.

Is that seriously worth the social trauma and the degradation on a public forum, begging for someone else's dollar?

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