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MargieG

Objects of the dead

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On 05/10/2017 at 7:43 PM, Madelaine McMasters said:

There's nothing in my SL inventory to memorialize anyone or anything that happened here. I do wear a broken SL pocket watch like the RL one passed down from my great grandfather to my father to me, and I did have a Monster Door in my skybox reminiscent of the one at the bottom of a wall in my RL childhood bedroom. Those are more expressions of a way of seeing the world that was passed down to me than a memorial to those who passed it. If I have a sentimental object in SL, it's Maddy. If I have a sentimental object in RL, it's me. The way I am is, I hope, reflective of all those who've affected me over the years. It's a lot more fun to channel old friends than just be reminded of them.

Snugs is the last vestige of an online friendship I had with a fella long before coming to SL. I thought he might like it here, and so I created an avatar for him. He was a softy with a gruff exterior. I named his avatar "Snugs Eisenhart" as a tease. Rather than follow me into SL, he got married. He passed away a few years later, followed by his wife. When I returned to SL after a brief hiatus, I resurrected Maddy and Snugs, both as McMasters. The banter you see between them is much like that between that old friend and me, my late Father and me, Mom and me... between anyone I hold dear and me.

There's a memorial to Ever Dreamscape in Bay City which is an example of the sort of well deserved memorialization that happens when lovable characters exit the stage in SL.

This topic has come up before and it's an interesting thing to contemplate. Long ago, there was a website called "usernotfound" at which people could grieve over the loss of online friends. Unlike the RL death of a loved one, the disappearance of an online friend can leave lots of room to wonder what happened. Like RL, the loss is real.

You should write a book, or books. 

 

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There’s a tiny 32m2 plot of land near my place which is devoted to a Garth FairChang, who had passed away September 2009.  The avi is 14yrs old.  I’m not sure who’s kept it for all these years.  But it’s always sad to open his profile and have a read of it.  Who-ever has kept the small land going after all these years has done an extraordinary thing.   In the land’s description it says ‘Read about Garth and Pituca in  'Memoirs of an Oldbie'.  But sadly the web pages are long gone (have been since I’ve known about the small memorial)

Garth FairChang Memorial Park, Brown (34, 130, 23)

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Friends with health problems have left SL for reasons like hospitalisation and haven't returned. I don't know what happened but there's no way I'll ever remove their names from my friends list. Because there was no physical memory, and nothing in the physical world to remind me, the digital one becomes more important.

There are things from friends still living that I treasure, wee gifts, photos and things they made, that I'll keep as long as SL is going and will stay in Bitsy's inventory long after I'm gone myself.

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You become close to people when you roleplay with them. So far I've lost 3 close friends from where I play.

One was the person that really taught me how to roleplay. She had a wicked sense of humor and was fearless in her RP. She was diagnosed with cancer and didn't have the strength to play the last couple of years.

Another was a big bear of a man in SL and, from his SL/RL significant other, he was like that in real life, even to his looks. He had a massive heart attack and died.

The third had hooked up in RL with his SL partner. He passed from a ruptured stomach ulcer.

We had a memorial for them. I created a slide show frame with all the pictures I could round up, funny, touching, serious, pictures that remind us of them. We also have stores or streets named for them in our sim.

I really miss them. Feel free to contact me in world or use my stories if you like.

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In my early (ish) years, I had an SL married couple living next door. We became close friends. In RL, he was from New York, and she from Brazil, they were engaged in RL until he died of a heart attack. The people on the sim we lived on were all very friendly with each other. We created a PayPal account for donations to get her to New York for his funeral, and we actually collected quite a good amount. What we didnt collect, his family covered for her trip. I sat "shiva style" with her for 2 days before she left for New York, as she was so distraught that SL was the only thing that comforted her, the home that they had built together. One by one, neighbors came to sit with us, and tell funny stories about him. It was heartbreaking, and I will never forget him. I still have all the notecards from then, my "eulogy' that was passed among the neighbors. I still visit his profile every now and then and remember him. 

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On 10/6/2017 at 4:43 AM, Madelaine McMasters said:

There's nothing in my SL inventory to memorialize anyone or anything that happened here. I do wear a broken SL pocket watch like the RL one passed down from my great grandfather to my father to me, and I did have a Monster Door in my skybox reminiscent of the one at the bottom of a wall in my RL childhood bedroom. Those are more expressions of a way of seeing the world that was passed down to me than a memorial to those who passed it. If I have a sentimental object in SL, it's Maddy. If I have a sentimental object in RL, it's me. The way I am is, I hope, reflective of all those who've affected me over the years. It's a lot more fun to channel old friends than just be reminded of them.

Snugs is the last vestige of an online friendship I had with a fella long before coming to SL. I thought he might like it here, and so I created an avatar for him. He was a softy with a gruff exterior. I named his avatar "Snugs Eisenhart" as a tease. Rather than follow me into SL, he got married. He passed away a few years later, followed by his wife. When I returned to SL after a brief hiatus, I resurrected Maddy and Snugs, both as McMasters. The banter you see between them is much like that between that old friend and me, my late Father and me, Mom and me... between anyone I hold dear and me.

There's a memorial to Ever Dreamscape in Bay City which is an example of the sort of well deserved memorialization that happens when lovable characters exit the stage in SL.

This topic has come up before and it's an interesting thing to contemplate. Long ago, there was a website called "usernotfound" at which people could grieve over the loss of online friends. Unlike the RL death of a loved one, the disappearance of an online friend can leave lots of room to wonder what happened. Like RL, the loss is real.

This is such an evocative post which has given me lots to think about. It touches upon exactly the kinds of ways of thinking and talking about memory, love, relationships that we want to write about and include in our book. With thanks :)

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On 10/8/2017 at 12:27 AM, Aislin Ceawlin said:

In my early (ish) years, I had an SL married couple living next door. We became close friends. In RL, he was from New York, and she from Brazil, they were engaged in RL until he died of a heart attack. The people on the sim we lived on were all very friendly with each other. We created a PayPal account for donations to get her to New York for his funeral, and we actually collected quite a good amount. What we didnt collect, his family covered for her trip. I sat "shiva style" with her for 2 days before she left for New York, as she was so distraught that SL was the only thing that comforted her, the home that they had built together. One by one, neighbors came to sit with us, and tell funny stories about him. It was heartbreaking, and I will never forget him. I still have all the notecards from then, my "eulogy' that was passed among the neighbors. I still visit his profile every now and then and remember him. 

Amazing story of the connection made between sl and rl family and friends and the care taken to support those in grief and honour the dead through that important work of sharing stories. Thanks so much for this beautiful account. It would be amazing to talk further. 

 

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37 minutes ago, MargieG said:

Amazing story of the connection made between sl and rl family and friends and the care taken to support those in grief and honour the dead through that important work of sharing stories. Thanks so much for this beautiful account. It would be amazing to talk further. 

I would be more than happy to.

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6 minutes ago, Aislin Ceawlin said:

I would be more than happy to.

Thanks. I will IM you. If you are free soon that would be great! I would really like to see the eulogy and notecards too.

 

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5 minutes ago, MargieG said:

Thanks. I will IM you. If you are free soon that would be great! I would really like to see the eulogy and notecards too.

 

I won't be available till tomorrow. I just got home from work, and have to get some sleep before I have to be back (I work 7p to 7a). If tomorrow afternoon would be okay for you, that would be perfect. I'll get in and dig up the note cards! 

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1 minute ago, Aislin Ceawlin said:

I won't be available till tomorrow. I just got home from work, and have to get some sleep before I have to be back (I work 7p to 7a). If tomorrow afternoon would be okay for you, that would be perfect. I'll get in and dig up the note cards! 

Sounds really good. I will need to check the time difference - I am in Australia Brisbane. I think my 8am on 11th will be your 3pm. Does this sound OK. I am can do 9am to your 4pm too. :)

 

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2 minutes ago, MargieG said:

Sounds really good. I will need to check the time difference - I am in Australia Brisbane. I think my 8am on 11th will be your 3pm. Does this sound OK. I am can do 9am to your 4pm too. :)

 

I am going by Los Angles time which may not be right for where you live. 

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3 minutes ago, MargieG said:

Sounds really good. I will need to check the time difference - I am in Australia Brisbane. I think my 8am on 11th will be your 3pm. Does this sound OK. I am can do 9am to your 4pm too. :)

 

let's plan on my 4 for now,  that way I can get a nap in when I get home in the morning:) In the meantime, you could go inworld and look up the profile of (I imagine it's okay to say his name here) Willworkfor Food (we called him Will) if you'd like to see it.

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8 minutes ago, MargieG said:

I am going by Los Angles time which may not be right for where you live. 

Oooo, no! I'm in the Eastern time zone!

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3 minutes ago, Aislin Ceawlin said:

Oooo, no! I'm in the Eastern time zone!

Ok. I have just worked this out. Is it 10.05 am for you now on the 11th? it is not 12.05 pm for me on 11th. Gosh I hope this is right!

 

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Just now, MargieG said:

Ok. I have just worked this out. Is it 10.05 am for you now on the 11th? it is not 12.05 pm for me on 11th. Gosh I hope this is right!

 

lol, yes, it's 10 am here on the 11th! 

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1 minute ago, Aislin Ceawlin said:

lol, yes, it's 10 am here on the 11th! 

Phew, I got something right. Although I think it is now 12th Oct for me to your 11th. This conversion of time freaks me out. I am terrible at looking up movie times with friends and often stuff up. So what time would suit you on the 11th your time?

 

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36 minutes ago, MargieG said:

Phew, I got something right. Although I think it is now 12th Oct for me to your 11th. This conversion of time freaks me out. I am terrible at looking up movie times with friends and often stuff up. So what time would suit you on the 11th your time?

 

Brisbane QLD, Australia is 14 hours ahead of Lansing, MI

10:36 AM Wednesday, in Lansing, MI is

12:36 AM Thursday, in Brisbane QLD, Australia

Okay, I think I've got this now, lmao! If we did it at 8 pm my time , it would be 10 am your time (the next day....how weird, lol) Would that work for you? 

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9 hours ago, Aislin Ceawlin said:

Brisbane QLD, Australia is 14 hours ahead of Lansing, MI

10:36 AM Wednesday, in Lansing, MI is

12:36 AM Thursday, in Brisbane QLD, Australia

Okay, I think I've got this now, lmao! If we did it at 8 pm my time , it would be 10 am your time (the next day....how weird, lol) Would that work for you? 

Ok sounds good logging on now. Hope you are there!

 

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I have two memorial/sentimental objects in Second Life, one that is shared and one that is not. Both are SL pets but have different meanings; One is to memorialize a passed pet and the other was bought for me by a friend that sadly looks to be on her way out.

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15 hours ago, MargieG said:

Okay, I think I've got this now, lmao! If we did it at 8 pm my time , it would be 10 am your time (the next day....how weird, lol) Would that work for you? 

Ok sounds good logging on now. Hope you are there!

 

lol, I was referring to 8pm my time tonight

Edited by Aislin Ceawlin

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