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bebejee

Gay men and straight clubs in SL

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I never see men dancing with each other in straight clubs but occasionally women can be seen doing so, beach or ball room as well, why are men inhibited?

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It is probably a carry over from RL. If you frequent nightclubs you aren't going to see men dancing with other men. You will however see girls dancing with other girls. Why don't they? Who knows ... Does it matter?

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Does it matter? no, but am curious to know why people are not comfortable doing so in a virtual environment.

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1 hour ago, bebejee said:

I never see men dancing with each other in straight clubs but occasionally women can be seen doing so, beach or ball room as well, why are men inhibited?

You've titled this thread "Gay men and straight clubs in SL". You've then followed that title with the reasoning that - because men don't dance with other men in straight clubs - they must be inhibited. Since the title suggests you're only referring to gay men, I can only assume that you think gay men are inhibited because they don't dance together in straight clubs.

Maybe you should visit some of the gay clubs where gay men dance with other gay men. You won't see much inhibition there ;)

ETA: Unless, of course, you're creating a variant of MSM, which is MDM (Men Who Dance With Men). In which case, your guess is as good as mine.

ETA 2: Ohhhh, wait. Now I think I get it! You're inferring that men don't dance with other men because they're afraid people will think they're gay. Am I getting warmer?

Edited by Skell Dagger
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I have seen plenty of men dance with other men, in all kinds of different places, just like I have seen women dance with other women in all kinds of different places. I don't personally have the experience of either being rare, or even uncommon.  I suppose what  and who you encounter depends a lot on the places you go, and the folks you hang around with. 

 

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1 hour ago, bebejee said:

Does it matter? no, but am curious to know why people are not comfortable doing so in a virtual environment.

for me it has nothing to do with not being comfortable... if i want to dance i do.. single or couple..

but the good couple dances for guys are rare... so single dances mostly look better.

I only know humanoid has real male couple dances... most others are obvious and clearly for straight couples

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I see men dancing together in a lot of different clubs..Heck I was at SDI last night and there was a few couples of guys dancing together..

I don't think straight guys do it that much though unless they are doing like a crew thing.. But then again,I don't go to the clubs as much as I used to,so times may have changed some..

hehehehe

 

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1 hour ago, MattNight84 said:

I would if I knew someone who wanted to dance with me, lol.  I am just usually dancing alone.

i wouldn't mind a dance :)

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I've seen M+M in clubs that are not strictly non-Hetero, but its not common IMO

Girls dance with girls (if they're not INTO girls) because it turns guys on (in some cases)..........the male of the species is visually stimulated.

Edited by AmandaKeen
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30 minutes ago, AmandaKeen said:

Girls dance with girls (if they're not INTO girls)

Must be why my friends don't dance with me.

31 minutes ago, AmandaKeen said:

because it turns guys on (in some cases)

That's why I don't dance with my friends.

 

6 hours ago, bebejee said:

ball room as well

Not sure that many gays are into ballgowns and not sure there are that many ballgowns for boys either, while I can find tuxedos.

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16 minutes ago, Morgan Rosenstar said:

Must be why my friends don't dance with me.

That's why I don't dance with my friends.

I never let any guy's drooling stop me from dancing with whom I want to :-)  They'll just have to contain their jealosy........

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9 hours ago, bebejee said:

I never see men dancing with each other in straight clubs

Maybe it's an American thing. Try a Euro club?

Here is a photo of my SL partner and I at a nice "straight" German club we go to a lot.

20170115085400-5be56cab-me.jpg.c120409a51f2db857047be183219f08a.jpg

 

Edited by Callum Meriman
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8 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

I never let any guy's drooling stop me from dancing with whom I want to :-)  They'll just have to contain their jealosy........

They usually prefer my IMbox to contain it.

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I regularly see gay men dancing together in my club. Not as many as women dancing together, but we have one regular couple of guys every week, and another couple on occasion.

 

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4 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

Is a club straight, when it does not state any connection to a certain sexual orientation?

this question is definitely a carry over from RL. In the state of Idaho for example , no club or establishment may be considered in legal term for license as a 'gay club/bar', they may use the term alternative or college though. So the debate is valid. I do have to say I have seen gay couples in both rl and sl 'straight frequented' clubs dancing and going about the usual club business. Not always, but these place do exist. 

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It's most likely a hang up from RL you go out some place in RL and you will see girls more than happy to dance around their handbags with a bottle of alcopop in tow with other girls but for men dancing in clubs isn't seen as very macho they are more shy and embarrassed about doing anything more than a side shuffle or foot tap and head nod at most with out having the mick taken out of them at the pub or sports they may take part in

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14 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

Girls dance with girls (if they're not INTO girls) because it turns guys on (in some cases)..........the male of the species is visually stimulated.

Yes I was going to say this, but she beat me to it. We often do it to get guys attention. Of course we also do it because we want to dance and none of the guys want to, of in SL because there are there are not enough guys, or at least guy avatars.

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I do not know what clubs you go to, but the straight clubs I have gone to and danced a gropey couples dance or waltz or such tend to be jazz clubs or ballrooms with both me and my fellow wearing tuxedos. I have seen other male couples at such venues as well.  In general though, if it is not an intentionally romantic venue or event, I do not see couples dancing together  ... oh the occasional couple here and there, dancing some slow romantic dance to high energy dance or rock tunes, but I think I speak for more than just myself when I tend to think "gosh, can they not just get a room?"

As for being inhibited, well in general, a club that defines itself as "straight" can be full of straight men, and while no, they are not going to drag me outside and beat me up for being gay, as it is SL after all, they can (and do) make snarky, hateful, anti gay comments in IM or open chat. The prevalence of such unpleasant conversations is far less than it used to be, but still, who wants to go out for a nice time and have nasty remarks and such directed toward them?

In gay clubs, there are straight men who come for the music, for the dancing, and to hang out with friends. Some bring their girlfriends, others do not. No one is inhibited. I am a stripper at one such place and the straight fellows will tip me and not balk at a sexy emote for a thank you from me.

From what I have seen and experienced, a good many gay men prefer to dance in sync on someone's chim, in pairs or a row. I do not quite grasp that, as it always reminds me of a chorus line or dancers on those 1970s era variety shows (WOW, I am in a gay version of the Donny and Marie Show!).

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Alot of places do not prevent it. Due to LL policies as well. THe ones that try to don't survive and disappear.

Even places like Franks ELite jazz bar allow it. They are happy when gay couples come and are trying to find ways to get more people together. 

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I agree with most of what's been  said here...that's it's a carry-over from RL. I also think (if it hasn't been said already) that it's an expected norm to go into a club and see men and women dancing together as well as women dancing together, but not men. Besides, most guys at straight clubs aren't going to IM another guy and ask them to dance. It could get them harassed...even in our enlightened day and age.

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