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SpinAcces

Decency ? Modesty ?

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Hello everyone !

So ! i hope i'm not going to offend anyone with this topic, as people seems to be pretty sensitive about it  - #PersonalExperiences

 

So the SL world is full of shamelessness, this we know and it's ESPECIALLY visible on the outfit people are wearing.

it's usually very provocative, Sexy, revealing... along those lines.

Though, it's SL, people can do whatever they want i don't judge, i respect, just like i choose to eat Nutella 3 times per day sometimes (Yum yum...)  people can choose to wear Sexy clothing.

Personaly i love decency, Modest outfits. i know we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, and therefore not judge someone by what they're wearing but, i still admire people who can be decent in SL.

So i was wondering, does anyone know a place where i could meet a lot of people that are in to this kind of decency ?

And what's your opinion about the outfits most residents are wearing ?

and please ! do not throw me your chairs ! flying chairs can hurt quite a lot ! Thank you!

 

Edited by SpinAcces

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I don't care what other residents are wearing.Its a free world, there are no decency rules. :D apart from being naked in a G rated sim :D

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26 minutes ago, SpinAcces said:

Hello everyone !

So ! i hope i'm not going to offend anyone with this topic, as people seems to be pretty sensitive about it  - #PersonalExperiences

 

So the SL world is full of shamelessness, this we know and it's ESPECIALLY visible on the outfit people are wearing.

it's usually very provocative, Sexy, revealing... along those lines.

Though, it's SL, people can do whatever they want i don't judge, i respect, just like i choose to eat Nutella 3 times per day sometimes (Yum yum...)  people can choose to wear Sexy clothing.

Personaly i love dencency, Modest outfits. i know we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, and therefore not judge someone by what they're wearing but, i still admire people who can be decent in SL.

So i was wondering, does anyone know a place where i could meet a lot of people that are in to this kind of decency ?

And what's your opinion about the outfits most residents are wearing ?

and please ! do not throw me your chairs ! flying chairs can hurt quite a lot ! Thank you!

 

also interested what you define as decent? buttoned up shirts? no miniskirt? please enlighten me :D

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1 minute ago, SpinAcces said:

Oh yes ! yes for exemple, that would be perfect to me : D

 

haha (X

flop... looks like i'm not modest when it comes to forum posts... my appologies.

 

question, are you a guy or a girl? and remember you can't control what other people are wearing or doing, you can only control yourself :D

Edited by Jeny Howlett
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44 minutes ago, Jeny Howlett said:

question, are you a guy or a girl? and remember you can't control what other people are wearing or doing, you can only control yourself :D

 i'm a man. and Yes of course, that's not my point, like i CLEARLY said, i totally respect others choices of clothing. i just have a liking for decency is all. so i'm trying for hints to where i could find people that like it too.

Edited by SpinAcces

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Just now, SpinAcces said:

 i'm a man. and Yes of course, that's not my point, like i CLEARLY said, i totally respect others choices of clothing. i just have a liking for dencency is all. so i'm trying for hints to where i could find people that like it too.

Hm not sure where you could find people like that.

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Fun fact: One day i was looking for a group about it in the SL search, so i typed "Dencency" for the group section and the first group that came out was a very explicit one with a super explicit Group Profile Image. lol

i think the SL search engine is trolling me.

 

Edited by SpinAcces

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1 minute ago, GinaMarie Writer said:

Please have the decency to learn how to spell the word.  It's no wonder when you typed it in a search box it got confused.

ah right,  i spelled it "decency" in the search engine actually. Still got me messed up results though lol.

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28 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

I think my sexy clothes look pretty decent.

Maybe it is. i think that everyone has different opinion of what they consider decent or not.

I think i should have ask in the first message "what do you consider to be decent?"

i'd be interested to know about peoples view on that.

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I think defining "decent" for other people is a really slippery slope, at times. I'm not saying others also don't do it..I honestly think we all make judgment calls on others based on our own ideals, our own opinions, our own ideas of what's "right", what's "wrong"..and everything in between. I'm not going to throw a chair at you..I get them chucked at me for my opinions now and then too...and I accept that fact. Some of my opinions are way louder than most, and there are some topics I am not nearly as willing to see both sides to, even if I try...so, I get that. But, you must realize that you are, indeed judging people. See the difference between when I have done it, and what you're doing here, is that I have no qualms admitting that's precisely what I am doing. I have often found folks that judge others the most, often times the most harsh..are the folks who shout "I'm not judging", a lot. But that's just been my experience in life...rl and sl ;) Just be honest about your opinions, you may still get some chairs, but even if I(and probably others) don't agree with ya, we might just have a bit more respect for someone that can honestly say..yep, I'm judging..even better if you can explain why(though not necessary I suppose). Some folks will still throw chairs though ;) 

What I will say, however, is that you asked a very, very loaded question.

I'll address the first one, first. Where to go....

It depends entirely on your tastes, your ideas of fun, etc. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing? If you are looking for something more modest(I do not equate modesty with decency, I believe they are, in this context, at the very least, slightly different..at best, vastly different, lol) your best bet is to stick to G rated sims. I am not saying places do not exist on others, but you're less likely to see that which you do not want to see, on G rated sims. You're also more likely to run into less people, though, so be prepared for that too. Loads of folks enjoy those places but these places are few and far between. If you want to hang out with other people, you're limiting yourself severely when you limit those you wish to hang out with based on how they dress. 

As for my opinion on what people wear....well....I'm not going to lie and say I don't judge..I'm human, and judging is human, we all do it.so I know I do it too.I do still try to get to know folks for who they are, and there is only one instance where apparel, well one particular piece, will throw me off a bit and make it MUCH more difficult for me to not be judgy mcjudgerson towards someone else. It's due to my own hangup, and while I won't say I avoid those folks completely, I'm far, far more cautious with my interactions, again, due to my own hangup and issues-not necessarily anything they did or didn't do(context matters there too, though). Otherwise..while I may judge at first..as most people do..I still give people a chance. People that lie and say they never judge others are, well, not to be trusted, so, yeah I don't give them much of a chance.  

Some clothing isn't my taste, and that's perfectly okay, others love it, and it works for them. In sl I wear dresses and long skirts, mostly, they're probably too revealing for someone wanting something modest, depending on whichever one I'm wearing this month, or year, lol. In rl, I am so far from girly it's not even funny, ok it is kinda funny. I don't wear makeup(I have worn it once in my life, after I went  into remission, to the only school dance I ever attended...and that's it, never again). In sl, it kinda comes with my skin. Generally speaking, I don't let what others around me are wearing prevent me from hanging around them...minus my one hangup, and I do try to work on that, sometimes, other times, nuh uh no way. 

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5 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

I think defining "decent" for other people is a really slippery slope, at times. I'm not saying others also don't do it..I honestly think we all make judgment calls on others based on our own ideals, our own opinions, our own ideas of what's "right", what's "wrong"..and everything in between. I'm not going to throw a chair at you..I get them chucked at me for my opinions now and then too...and I accept that fact. Some of my opinions are way louder than most, and there are some topics I am not nearly as willing to see both sides to, even if I try...so, I get that. But, you must realize that you are, indeed judging people. See the difference between when I have done it, and what you're doing here, is that I have no qualms admitting that's precisely what I am doing. I have often found folks that judge others the most, often times the most harsh..are the folks who shout "I'm not judging", a lot. But that's just been my experience in life...rl and sl ;) Just be honest about your opinions, you may still get some chairs, but even if I(and probably others) don't agree with ya, we might just have a bit more respect for someone that can honestly say..yep, I'm judging..even better if you can explain why(though not necessary I suppose). Some folks will still throw chairs though ;) 

What I will say, however, is that you asked a very, very loaded question.

I'll address the first one, first. Where to go....

It depends entirely on your tastes, your ideas of fun, etc. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing? If you are looking for something more modest(I do not equate modesty with decency, I believe they are, in this context, at the very least, slightly different..at best, vastly different, lol) your best bet is to stick to G rated sims. I am not saying places do not exist on others, but you're less likely to see that which you do not want to see, on G rated sims. You're also more likely to run into less people, though, so be prepared for that too. Loads of folks enjoy those places but these places are few and far between. If you want to hang out with other people, you're limiting yourself severely when you limit those you wish to hang out with based on how they dress. 

As for my opinion on what people wear....well....I'm not going to lie and say I don't judge..I'm human, and judging is human, we all do it.so I know I do it too.I do still try to get to know folks for who they are, and there is only one instance where apparel, well one particular piece, will throw me off a bit and make it MUCH more difficult for me to not be judgy mcjudgerson towards someone else. It's due to my own hangup, and while I won't say I avoid those folks completely, I'm far, far more cautious with my interactions, again, due to my own hangup and issues-not necessarily anything they did or didn't do(context matters there too, though). Otherwise..while I may judge at first..as most people do..I still give people a chance. People that lie and say they never judge others are, well, not to be trusted, so, yeah I don't give them much of a chance.  

Some clothing isn't my taste, and that's perfectly okay, others love it, and it works for them. In sl I wear dresses and long skirts, mostly, they're probably too revealing for someone wanting something modest, depending on whichever one I'm wearing this month, or year, lol. In rl, I am so far from girly it's not even funny, ok it is kinda funny. I don't wear makeup(I have worn it once in my life, after I went  into remission, to the only school dance I ever attended...and that's it, never again). In sl, it kinda comes with my skin. Generally speaking, I don't let what others around me are wearing prevent me from hanging around them...minus my one hangup, and I do try to work on that, sometimes, other times, nuh uh no way. 

Thanks for sharing your opinion.

 

I think that what you said about judging is true. I guess it's pretty much judging.

but if i do, i still hope i won't hurt or not much, because i don't like to do that. but i do like talking about opinions.exchanging ideas and all.

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I believe the op's question has been asked and answered, outside of the font size/color critiques.

With that said, I'll be the first...

flogging_dead_horse_what.jpg

 

 

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This topic is quiet atypic, and i find it interesting. usually when peoples reply next of the subject even if they have understood it, and start to critic it, it show that in fact they are simply annoyed by it.

This is a complex subject, i believe as in past dressing with revealing clothing was perceived like the dress code for prostitution, today a woman dressing the same in Real life  or second life is perceived like someone normal, any women can dress with very sexy clothing, still some cultures may perceive it differently and as it may look bad for a part of them, the others feel offended. Some women feel like they frighted to be able to wear mini skirt and then if we touch this subject they show their tooth. 

Now to find places where women doesn't dress sexy in second life is quiet impossible because it's like a way to get attention for most of them. Hopefully, sexy or not, we shall find interesting discussion and beautiful personality in both, but if i can add something i find it a good idea for peoples to experiment, instead of creating something they can't have in real life to chose to look less attractive visually and give a chance to their self to feel  loved only for their inner beauty and more often. Even if some peoples have fun by looking sexy, some others do that by use, and lack of self esteem.

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2 minutes ago, 0liveGreen said:

This topic is quiet atypic, and i find it interesting. usually when peoples reply next of the subject even if they have understood it, and start to critic it, it show that in fact they are simply annoyed by it.

This is a complex subject, i believe as in past dressing with revealing clothing was perceived like the dress code for prostitution, today a woman dressing the same in Real life  or second life is perceived like someone normal, any women can dress with very sexy clothing, still some cultures may perceive it differently and as it may look bad for a part of them, the others feel offended. Some women feel like they frighted to be able to wear mini skirt and then if we touch this subject they show their tooth. 

Now to find places where women doesn't dress sexy in second life is quiet impossible because it's like a way to get attention for most of them. Hopefully, sexy or not, we shall find interesting discussion and beautiful personality in both, but if i can add something i find it a good idea for peoples to experiment, instead of creating something they can't have in real life to chose to look less attractive visually and give a chance to their self to feel  loved only for their inner beauty and more often. Even if some peoples have fun by looking sexy, some others do that by use, and lack of self esteem.

Thank you for sharing your Opinion.

And i agree that in the past the dress codes that are now seen as totally normal was often used in prostitution, though even in the past i think there was some societies that were accepting the daily sexy outfits too.

i think the political background counts too, like in France for Example, Women where deprives of lots of rights until the last century. so they had to fight for them pretty hard, and i guess that the dressing code was one area in where they felt restrained, so now it became a symbol of their freedom i think.

Now About SL, i did meet a few nice people that where actually looking very decent.

And i also have a lot of friends that doesn't dress especially decently in my opinion, but are still very good friends of mine.

no matter what they wear, everyone can be very interesting and make us learn.

 

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I do have a hard time with my image of decent behaviour and other peoples´crashing into eachother...

for me it is INCREDIBLY rude to walk up to someone REAL close and/or IM them "hi" (and that´s it). It happens all the time in London which is a starter sim  (but still it shouldn´t).

New users popping in, 5 Minutes old but having Skinny Dipping this, Sexy that grouptitles already or 8 Days old and still looking like they first rezzed in a minute ago.

I mean while it won´t hurt to invest 5-20$ you don´t really HAVE to with freebies (yes there ARE freebies that do not want to make you throw your eyes into some acid) and groupgift, styling groups and stuff. That´s a part of decent behaviour for me, too. 

I try to be not too revealing in my outfits  but of course a summery dress or an outfit I wear because I´m either at a rock club or about to visit one isn´t as modest as a pair of jeans and a pullover.  I vary a lot in styles - change at least once a day so you´ll see me in all kinds of outfits within some limitation though. I even wear undies under skirts  - I know how sneaky some cammers are...

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7 hours ago, SpinAcces said:

So i was wondering, does anyone know a place where i could meet a lot of people that are in to this kind of decency ?

Search GOR

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7 hours ago, SpinAcces said:

So the SL world is full of shamelessness, this we know and it's ESPECIALLY visible on the outfit people are wearing.

Should I be ashamed when i am dancing naked on my own sim.  I am not wearing an outfit.

 

5 hours ago, SpinAcces said:

Being dressed Sexy kinda triggers a lot attention to the body of the person, his or her sexual attractiveness.

Hey I paid a lot for this body,  judge away if you want.  Meanwhile I am just having fun and not caring what people choose to wear.

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9 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

Should I be ashamed when i am dancing naked on my own sim.  I am not wearing an outfit.

2

well at home it´s absolutely ok imagining all the things we do naked at home in RL (yes I even used my bathroom in SL when I had land^^)

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7 hours ago, SpinAcces said:

So the SL world is full of shamelessness, this we know and it's ESPECIALLY visible on the outfit people are wearing.

Shameless:  (of a person or their conduct) characterized by or showing a lack of shame

Shame: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior

 

I sure as heck hope there is much shamelessness in SL.  There is nothing wrong with how anyone dresses in SL as long as it is appropriate for the sim rating.  Therefore folks should definitely NOT feel any shame about it.

 

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While I personally agree that the fashion trend of late (even more than always) has been toward "*****wear" and was actually discussing that with a moderator of a venue the other day, some of it is truly gorgeously made and fits perfectly and so while it wouldn't be something that I would wear in RL (not SFW at all) I do blog things in this vein.

I agree with the comments that the OP's attitude needs to take a turn in a more moderate way (that in itself is pretty funny) but the ANSWER to the original question would be to stick to G rated sims (clearly marked in the destination guide) and maybe look up some church type groups.  

As noted everyone has a choice here and if someone chooses to consider a group of people "unfit" (my word) based on their mode of dress they can certainly avoid them.  Another option would be to turn the jellydoll setting so that most people were rendered in solid colors --- then the OP wouldn't see what they are wearing - LOL,

EDIT:  LOL. I didn't know that we had some words we couldn't use.  Those ****s are not mine, but likely an automatic "editing" feature ^^.  Interesting. I am sure you can figure out the original word. 

 

Edited by Chic Aeon
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well I agree with you in general Chic,  I´ve had to swallow my "be pro" pill once or twice while blogging and tried to make it as little skimpy as I could.

For G rated sims, even there and especially there can be trolls so unfortunately that doesn´t help. I tend to clubs again but they´re not open 24/7 anymore xD

Plus it´s not only the looks but the behaviour ... I keep blocking people

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24 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Shameless:  (of a person or their conduct) characterized by or showing a lack of shame

Shameless can be so..unf- because it implies innocence!

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