Jump to content
BoraBoragirl

missing someone from secondlife, need help

Recommended Posts

I second Alwin there! NO trackers! That´s just  -  DO NOT GO THERE!!! Not only is it a reason to be banned it is creepy as hell. No matter what he did (which wasn´t the most elegant way I know)!

I mean... imagine you´d find out someone had a tracker on you  - what would you think or say... 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, BoraBoragirl said:

yes, have found such an online tracker and tried for 2 days. He was online, I didn't write him..I wanted but couldnt. Is there also a tracker which say where he is located? Would like to appear there and see if he speaks to me.

 

"Get up and go on with your life. If somebody wanna walk outta your life? Let. Them. Go. Especially if you know that you'd done everything that you could do - you'd been the best man or the best woman that you could be - and they still wanna go? LET THEM GO.

"Half these people, you'd be sitting around crying about it, worrying about it, and two or three years from now you ain't even gonna remember their last name. How many times have you seen them folks somewhere and you'd be like "What the hell was I thinkin?! What was wrong with me? What was I going through? I must have been lonely as hell to have hooked up with you!"

"Some people come into your life for a lifetime, some come for a season. You got to know which is which. And you're always gonna mess up when you mix them seasonal people up with lifetime expectations."

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 27/08/2017 at 5:42 PM, BoraBoragirl said:

Is there also a tracker which say where he is located?

No, such a tracker isn't possible in the scripting language of Second Life.

Look, a lot of good people have given you very wise advice. I can only repeat it so that you don't make a mistake you will regret.

You need to tuck his memory fondly away and move on, it's now time to find new friends.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not so sure I'd put it as nicely as others have, because I see no need to sugarcoat it. What you are suggesting, or desiring, is creepy, beyond stalker-ish, and in RL, would get you in serious legal trouble. 

I have a friend in sl that once had a bf that acted the way you're now acting. It all started pretty innocently with him just "wanting to know if she is still in sl" because he "missed her" after she'd ended things with him.  Then it moved on to him wanting to know where she was, constantly hanging around at places he knew she might go(or places they used to go together). It got creepy super quick, and I'd question the sanity of someone that would go to such lengths. Eventually he went away, thankfully, but it was hellish for her for a bit to constantly have to deal with him. That kind of attachment to someone isn't healthy, in the least, regardless of how sad one might be that someone no longer wants to be with them. Most folks deal with a broken heart, or two, in their lifetimes, but they don't go to these lengths for a reason....I keep using the word creepy, but it's so much more than that. Stalking someone that wants nothing to do with you is criminal in many places in rl, you should view it the same in sl. Honestly, if i were you, I'd be taking a closer look at why I am so very attached to someone I don't even know, then put myself in their shoes and see how I'd feel if someone I didn't want to have any contact with, tried their damndest to ensure that I had to "see" them as often as possible.....gives me the chills just thinking about it..this is how horror movie plots start :P 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Nooooo, they start with "Hey Maddy, can I park my vintage Z28 in your garage?"

...cues a theremin.

Hahahahaha

Can't forget the creepy music, that's just what this plot needs :D 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 18.8.2017 at 11:15 PM, BoraBoragirl said:

 

I'm not stalking him, how? I have no contact information. I only wish to see him again and to talk to him. I know I have to forget him, but I hope he reads it and makes contact with me again. :( 

 

On 27.8.2017 at 9:42 AM, BoraBoragirl said:

yes, have found such an online tracker and tried for 2 days. He was online, I didn't write him..I wanted but couldnt. Is there also a tracker which say where he is located? Would like to appear there and see if he speaks to me. 

Well...now you do, technically.

I can only say what has already been said: Get a thight grip on your obsession. Of course, now its going to be harder, since you have gone down that slipperly slope of finding him on SL, instead of listinging to peoples advice to let go. You know he is online on his original account. This has confirmed, that he has removed you from his friendlist and has not contacted you by his own wish. He hasn't left SL, he isn't held hostage somewhere, he isn't in the hospital or dead. I know it hurts, but that should prove, that contacting him isn't worth it. 

I know, the human brain always wants a reason, a detailed explaination to why things happened as they did. But sometimes we don't get that.

I know how you feel. I once had an online friend. We had been in the same guild for multiple years and played together with others. He was on my skype contact list, like everyone else from our guild. And even after the guild broke apart after changeing the game, contact remained intact. Then, one day, he suddenly vanished, at least for me. I never saw him online in skype anymore, he never replied to messages I send, changed the characters he played....even when we still had a mutual friend, who (along other obvious things) could varify that he was still 'here'.

I never got an explaination from him, even our mutual friend never got one from him. I was angry, sad and sometimes questioned my own sense of reality. Had I done something wrong, but never noticed it?

Today I have made my peace with what happened. I'm not angry or sad anymore. I do think that he had his reason and that it probably had more to do with him, than with me. I believe that at some point he might have been too afraid of confrontation...but whatever. Thats his problem and shouldn't be my burden. I've made new friends, found a new guild and rarely think about him at all.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Boraboragirl, 

I am sorry for your loss, but as others already have mentioned, if he was still interested in you, he would find a way to contact you... 

It is surprising how many people here in SL, who "dies" or dissappear, and then again come back like some kind of the bird Phoenix, with new name and new look. It hurts, yes, but it is a part of SL, you have to accept... Do not waste your hart on a man, who preferes the hare's solution to things he cannot manage.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/4/2017 at 0:46 PM, Muletta said:

Hi Boraboragirl, 

I am sorry for your loss, but as others already have mentioned, if he was still interested in you, he would find a way to contact you... 

It is surprising how many people here in SL, who "dies" or dissappear, and then again come back like some kind of the bird Phoenix, with new name and new look. It hurts, yes, but it is a part of SL, you have to accept... Do not waste your hart on a man, who preferes the hare's solution to things he cannot manage.

Maybe the dude is just scared of stalkers...the way this thread went, I think most folks probably have a good idea of why he bailed, lol. 

 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can be very difficult to ween yourself from someone you have true feelings for. I will admit that every once in a while I will look at my old partners profile even though it was 6 years and 2 avi's ago. The pain is real just like RL, but the consequences are not. Its a trite response but, I can tell you that what I do is remember the good times and don't think about the past. I am glad I had that time with her; the memories make me happy.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So here's what probably happened.... James' wife or girlfriend in RL (that's real life) found out about his SL account, that's second life. She probably made him delete the account or told him if you talk to another chick I'm going to leave. James probably likes real life girlfriend and the things she "gives" him more than talking to someone online. Most men do. For me, personally, I would cut my losses and move on. I know it's hard, it really is when you fall for someone that you do not know, however take this as an example and learning experience that just because you talk to someone and think you know them does not mean you should give them your heart. Also, you mentioned something about you feel you'll die soon. NO ONE is worth that, specially someone that you don't know and apparently doesn't have feelings for you anyways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/27/2017 at 6:22 AM, Akasha Sternberg said:

I second Alwin there! NO trackers! That´s just  -  DO NOT GO THERE!!! Not only is it a reason to be banned it is creepy as hell. No matter what he did (which wasn´t the most elegant way I know)!

I mean... imagine you´d find out someone had a tracker on you  - what would you think or say... 

Don't know about anyone else, but I'd be like whatever

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/30/2017 at 12:24 PM, Callum Meriman said:

No, such a tracker isn't possible in the scripting language of Second Life.

Look, a lot of good people have given you very wise advice. I can only repeat it so that you don't make a mistake you will regret.

You need to tuck his memory fondly away and move on, it's now time to find new friends.

AS one of my sl sisters is fond of saying,  "the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone".

*grins*

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This issue isn't just limited to partners. My best ever female platonic friend vanished on me. She told me she wouldn't be on much because of having to deal with her Mother's health issues, The after a long time of not seeing her, I discovered she was active in SL. She unfriended me, took down the pick on her profile about me and my art. and left the group dedicated to my art,all without ever giving an explanation. She had been partnered to one of my oldest SL friends, and broke up with him pretty much the same way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey everyone I'm new to using forums in SL. I thought that maybe this would be a good place to try and find any info on my missing sister

 Mura Fway Hanami (callmemura)

She hasn't been online since September 24th and she's totally ghosted on me, I can't find her friends because her groups are hidden. If anyone knows her or has any information please send me a message. I'm very very worried and I wanna know what's going on. If anyone knows her or knows anything please message me in world my name is

Shadow Fway Hanami (lilmizshadow)

I'd be so grateful if someone knows anything.

I don't mean to change the subject but I'm searching for my SL sister and i have absolutely no idea what happened to her she just totally ghosted on me and I don't know her groups are hidden. I just wanna know what happened to her if anyone knows I'd be grateful. really really grateful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This can be such a hard issue.  Even when you know the person in real life beyond SL sometimes they can disappear as well.  I had a two-year friendship end without a word in SL about a year ago and we routinely communicated via Skype as well.  The SL account is still active with the profile which has not changed in over a year, and her Skype account is still active as well.  When I left messages on both a year ago they went unanswered.  At first you think it is just busy life stuff but after a few weeks you realize the friendship is gone.  By not saying anything and leaving both accounts open you sit there and wonder what happened?  It is the hard part of forming attachments in a virtual world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know ur feelings hun , i wil tell you what to do , go to chat history of local , im sure there are many pages , if u met him when u were new in sl , then go to page 1 or 2 +++ , and search for conversation , and u will find his name 

But , actually alwin is right , you have to move on girl , im sure that he does't deserve you okay? , maybe he is dead irl , who knows , rip him :):P 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, AngelLdr said:

I know ur feelings hun , i wil tell you what to do , go to chat history of local , im sure there are many pages , if u met him when u were new in sl , then go to page 1 or 2 +++ , and search for conversation , and u will find his name 

But , actually alwin is right , you have to move on girl , im sure that he does't deserve you okay? , maybe he is dead irl , who knows , rip him :):P 

The OP posted this roughly 10.5 months ago.  If they haven't moved on by now, then I'm pretty sure no words from anyone are going to help in that regard.

It is nice that you want to help with offered comments, but you might want to check the dates of posts first to see how relevant it might still be.

image.png.ab2271c20300903448014369b0f4fc19.png

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

76425397.jpg

At least not anymore ;)

Maybe there is some good reason this got revived.

To the topic. You can never even know if the male avi is really a male irl, or the female avi is really a female.

To help find names in SL, click the People button on the toolbar and there should be "nearby, friends, groups and recent", open the recent, there should be seen the whole names. No need to dig from the files if you find the name there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×