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18 hours ago, Morgan Rosenstar said:

Question : who would consider a SL sexfriend as a sexual cheat?

As I have said before in this thread and others, it all depends on the two RL individuals involved. By that i  mean SLer A and their RL partner. If they consider bumping pixels cheating, then to them it is. Personally, I think it matters more what you are doing in RL while bumping pixels. If you are playing candy crush, or watching a movie on TV, or some other non self pleasuring activity, I would be far less inclined to say it was cheating. 

That being said. I don't care how much you say you keep SL and RL separate, there is always emotional cross over. 

I have a challenge to all of those that say they can keep SL and RL 100% separate.
Picture your best SL friend, the one you have known forever in SL. The person that lights up you day when you see them log in.
Now picture yourself logging in one day to a notecard from that person stating that:
"I am sending you this notecard to inform you that my {mother/father/uncle/whatever (your bestie)} has passed away in RL. They wished me to inform all of their SL friends of their passing"
tell me you would have no feelings.

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Not a popular opinion I know but I find the "its not cheating if the person is a different gender to my partner" thing...  bizarre.  Male, Female, Unknown, Goat...  its all the same.  if your other half is fine with it cool, if they ain't, its cheating. 

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2 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

As I have said before in this thread and others, it all depends on the two RL individuals involved. By that i  mean SLer A and their RL partner. If they consider bumping pixels cheating, then to them it is. Personally, I think it matters more what you are doing in RL while bumping pixels. If you are playing candy crush, or watching a movie on TV, or some other non self pleasuring activity, I would be far less inclined to say it was cheating. 

That being said. I don't care how much you say you keep SL and RL separate, there is always emotional cross over. 

I have a challenge to all of those that say they can keep SL and RL 100% separate.
Picture your best SL friend, the one you have known forever in SL. The person that lights up you day when you see them log in.
Now picture yourself logging in one day to a notecard from that person stating that:
"I am sending you this notecard to inform you that my {mother/father/uncle/whatever (your bestie)} has passed away in RL. They wished me to inform all of their SL friends of their passing"
tell me you would have no feelings.

*raises hand*

Yes, I'm one of those who claim that i don't mix SL and RL and even your question happened to me recently. The only one friend I could trust eyes closed on SL just passed in RL few months ago. I felt empty. I kept logging in but something was missing. But I still don't mix SL and RL which means I still try to not let my RL to affect my SL (I won't log in if I'm in a bad mood) and vice versa.

 

You would probably call me a cheater because for me, cybersex/erp, it has to turn me on or it misses the spot.

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3 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

As I have said before in this thread and others, it all depends on the two RL individuals involved. By that i  mean SLer A and their RL partner. If they consider bumping pixels cheating, then to them it is. Personally, I think it matters more what you are doing in RL while bumping pixels. If you are playing candy crush, or watching a movie on TV, or some other non self pleasuring activity, I would be far less inclined to say it was cheating. 

That being said. I don't care how much you say you keep SL and RL separate, there is always emotional cross over. 

I have a challenge to all of those that say they can keep SL and RL 100% separate.
Picture your best SL friend, the one you have known forever in SL. The person that lights up you day when you see them log in.
Now picture yourself logging in one day to a notecard from that person stating that:
"I am sending you this notecard to inform you that my {mother/father/uncle/whatever (your bestie)} has passed away in RL. They wished me to inform all of their SL friends of their passing"
tell me you would have no feelings.

 

10 minutes ago, Morgan Rosenstar said:

*raises hand*

Yes, I'm one of those who claim that i don't mix SL and RL and even your question happened to me recently. The only one friend I could trust eyes closed on SL just passed in RL few months ago. I felt empty. I kept logging in but something was missing. But I still don't mix SL and RL which means I still try to not let my RL to affect my SL (I won't log in if I'm in a bad mood) and vice versa.

 

You would probably call me a cheater because for me, cybersex/erp, it has to turn me on or it misses the spot.

That's my whole point.. You do mix SL and RL. You just said you felt empty and like something was missing. If you truly kept them separate you would have zero feelings about anyone in SL. It is impossible as humans to shut off feelings when we interact with other humans. 

ETA, I wont call you a cheater.. Thats not my business or place and i am not your RL spouse or partner. That's their call. Personally, i prefer SLSlex that turns me on.. Kind of boring if i would rather watch TV or play games, and a waste of time.

Edited by Drake1 Nightfire
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5 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

 

That's my whole point.. You do mix SL and RL. You just said you felt empty and like something was missing. If you truly kept them separate you would have zero feelings about anyone in SL. It is impossible as humans to shut off feelings when we interact with other humans. 

ETA, I wont call you a cheater.. Thats not my business or place and i am not your RL spouse or partner. That's their call. Personally, i prefer SLSlex that turns me on.. Kind of boring if i would rather watch TV or play games, and a waste of time.

For me, it sounds more like an extreme definition. Zero or all. I'm not a bot therefore I do feel but because I like to have SL friends it still doesn't mean I mix SL and RL.

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This is a bit of a transgression from the OP question about cheating.  It is more about the separation of SL and RL, but for many that does play directly into the concept of cheating.

Consider the following scenario:  Person A meets person B and they spend time talking and doing things together.  Soon they both profess feelings for the other, however one of them is really just a 'player' and says that to all the men/women they fool around with.  Then one day, the player pretty much falls off the map - no more communication at all.  

Interestingly enough, that could be RL or SL - I've seen it happen in both.  The "player" continually uttered phrases and statements indicating undying love (or at least extreme emotion), but it is just an act for them, just a 'role' they are playing to get what they want. We've seen many forum posts from someone heartbroken because their SL lover turned out to not take it in the same serious manner that they did.  

Much of the RP in SL is the same - an utterance of a lot of words that are describing a story, but it is not really happening. I am not really shooting that enemy regardless of what I have emoted, and despite some storyline I'm involved in, I am not at all really afraid in RL.  During the scene, it is like participating in a play or reading a good story that I am contributing to. Given that, I can easily see how people in SL can RP a relationship, imparting all sorts of feelings into it.  That does not mean that those specific feelings are true RL feelings.  Yes the two possibly care about each other, but the "true" feelings could be more like a good RL friendship, rather than a RL partner-love releationship.  Or it could be more like the 'player' - in love during the scene only.

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For one, we're all real people here in the real world and cannot deny it.

If a person is married RL, and go for a relationship with another rather it online or outside their front door RL, it still cheating even if they are in sexual relations, yes it is cheating... if a couple is married RL and seperate ways in SL, it not gonna work out, you're cheating on eachother. 

people in SL you see and talk to are people no different than walking outside your front door.

 

Married RL claiming single on social media is just wrong on so many levels. Either you are happy with your RL relationship or you are not. If you are not happy with your RL marriage and choose to neglect them for another in SL, go be with that person..

 

Edited by Dragon Ruby
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55 minutes ago, Dragon Ruby said:

For one, we're all real people here in the real world and cannot deny it.

If a person is married RL, and go for a relationship with another rather it online or outside their front door RL, it still cheating even if they are in sexual relations, yes it is cheating... if a couple is married RL and seperate ways in SL, it not gonna work out, you're cheating on eachother. 

people in SL you see and talk to are people no different than walking outside your front door.

 

Married RL claiming single on social media is just wrong on so many levels. Either you are happy with your RL relationship or you are not. If you are not happy with your RL marriage and choose to neglect them for another in SL, go be with that person..

 

don't necro... and perhaps others are allowed to be what, where and about they want? Judge less, it shows so much about yourself when you drag RL so clearly in it as standard.

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I am married in Both SL and in RL to the same person. We SL together as man and wife just as we are in RL. However, I HAVE had experiences with another man trying to take my wife away from me in RL.....Fortunately I caught him at his game and nailed him on it. My wife did not give in to his advances. But You HAVE to be careful what the person's motives are. There are many people on SL (male and Female) who are equally guilty of this. To these people, SL is either "just a game" and they forget there is a RL person (or people) behind the avatar. Or They look at SL as a matchmaking service (Albeit not a very good one...I mean Who here looks EXACTLY like their Avatar in RL?)

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Never understood how this can be unclear. Can (and did) you tell your RL partner about your SL partner? Yes? Its not cheating. No, its cheating.

Same the other way around, does your SL partner know about your RL partner? Yes, its ok, no, your cheating.

 

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A partner  that I broke up with 6 years ago just came back into my SL the other week and we picked up exactly where we left off, including her becoming my twin and resuming her old display name (BobbiJo Aldrin).

My current partner likes her, my bf likes her, we are one big happy poli family.

One can't have too many friends/lovers that you care about.

SL is good

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On 8/10/2017 at 10:33 AM, Phil Deakins said:

 :D  SL whores can do that, of course, because it's just a job, and they can churn it out even from a script without any emotions being involved at all

I know this if off topic, but on this one you are wrong.

For most SL whores, it is not a job but a fantasy.

Just saying.

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2 hours ago, carolinestravels said:

I know this if off topic, but on this one you are wrong.

For most SL whores, it is not a job but a fantasy.

And you know most SL whores, right? lol. So you've no idea if I'm wrong or not, and you made a false statement ;)

I don't know most SL whores either, so I prefer my view.

Edited by Phil Deakins

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2 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

And you know most SL whores, right? lol. So you've no idea if I'm wrong or not, and you made a false statement ;)

I don't know most SL whores either, so I prefer my view.

I think both are right. All this is my opinion based on my experiences of course :)

For the majority of "SL whores" I know (and I actually do know quite a few of them thanks to my past business of running a sex sim) it is both a job and recreational/fantasy.

I mean, not many people do jobs in SL pure for the money. There's always exceptions, jobless people who make a little in SL, or the few people that actually make more in SL than they do in SL (big time creators and such) for example, but generally speaking, rl work, even the *****tiest jobs, pay way more in time/effort than SL jobs.

Every SL working girl I know loves the experience of a good sex roleplay. They enjoy it as a fantasy. But being working girls, they will not always get clients who are attractive to them, or skiled in roleplay, or just when they are not in the mood. In those cases they indeed turn of any emotions and just go by "the script" just as easy.

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16 hours ago, carolinestravels said:

For most SL whores, it is not a job but a fantasy.

the fantasy is shopping, the   escorting  is   the job that supports it. 

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