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But if you are looking to go real the person your looking I would be 100 percent upfront with them but between you and them. Just Advice don't have take it but been there done that.  But If someone is Married and hiding saying they want real they get off line so fast because there wife of husband is home that excuses keep coming up and the person is waiting around for them the person is going to walk away sooner or later a person will find out the truth. People that are looking for real walk away don't wanna get hurt want to be with someone that 100 percent truthful same goes with friendship and dating in real. Because I done the whole Sl turning in to Real I Meet my ex lasted three years you live and learn. But they will want to voice and Cam see you everyday they will want you  meet in real in order for my ex married me on second life he wanted me to meet in real that was the deal.  I wrote on myself with his name he wanted know I was telling the truth its not want you say its what you do. If the person does not show up it can be disappointing person wont really want years they want to meet you in few weeks or few months to a year. There are many people that meet on second life they had had to show their true ways as the other. 

Edited by Dreamerra

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On 08/08/2017 at 9:10 AM, Jeny Howlett said:

Judging much? We all have our reasons. Maybe she has been stalked online and wants to keep her rl private this time.As a stalking victim i can say its devastating and can easily drive one to a suicide.Also her sex life is none of your business lol..

Right. And if I've to be judged as "fake" because I want to use my freedom to choose what I want to show, when, where, with whom and why, then it doubly proves that this level of privacy makes sense.

I often have to pretend I'm a male in many mmos or I would be overwhelmed by flirts, sexual invits, etc...

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9 hours ago, Dreamerra said:

It all depends if your staying in Sl But if you want real they gonna want the whole nine yards.

The OP stated (bolding mine) quite clearly:

On 03/08/2017 at 5:07 PM, twilk14 said:

Hello Second Life residents, this is Lady Lanell (twilk14). I am single, and I am looking for a SL relationship. I am a straight female. I will only do a SL relationship, not one in real life. If you're interested in being a potential suitor and learning more, please send me an IM :)

She didn't say at all that she "wanted real" - in fact she categorically denied that she did - so I'm not sure why your comment was necessary. You frequently comment on posts about SL relationships that are taken to RL and the fact that people want to know if the person behind the avatar is really the gender they claim to be, so I can only assume that you regard Second Life as a RL dating platform. That may be what it is for you, but that's not what it is for everyone else, such as the OP.

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@twilk14 Best of luck to finding what you want and need in SL. Me, I'm just seeking a few good male friends without benefits or looking for a permanent girlfriend or wife.

 

 

Edited by Jayleema

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9 hours ago, Morgan Rosenstar said:

I often have to pretend I'm a male in many mmos or I would be overwhelmed by flirts, sexual invits, etc...

What mmos are you playing?

Just ... you know, just because. Like maybe so I know what to avoid. yeah, we'll go with that.

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23 hours ago, Morgan Rosenstar said:

I often have to pretend I'm a male in many mmos or I would be overwhelmed by flirts, sexual invits, etc...

I did that for the longest time as well. What annoyed me wasn't even the poorly attempted flirts and such - I'm really good at giving people the coldest of shoulders - what got to me, was that as soon as some people found out that I'm female, they decided that I need help with EVERYTHING. And as an insanely proud person, that sucks major time.
Hower, I didn't want to pretend to be someone else to be left alone, so I stopped doing that. But since I play mostly alone or with some close friends, it doesn't happy much to me anymore anyways. And if, due to chance and ciscumstances, it happens again, I just ask them to stop that, once, and if that wish is ignored, I either just put them on ignore, or I crush their egos with a well placed, hearthy laughter. (For example, after someone had the guts to ask me out for "coffee" after plain annoying me for a week. Needless to say, you can't mention coffee around him anymore else he angrily storms off. :] )

Edited by Sukubia Scarmon
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Someone may said in world or first life but yes it all depends its there free will what they are looking for hope the best for them. The last part was only advice take it or leave. We live ans learn.  I have friends that are just looking for in world or just be friends or just want company see how it grows. And hope the best in your search.

Edited by Dreamerra

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'The human heart has hidden treasures... in secret kept... in silence sealed; The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures... Whose charms were broken if revealed.'
- Charlotte Brontë

statment.jpg

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3 hours ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

(...) they decided that I need help with EVERYTHING. (...)

I don't really mind. Free endgame gears? Sure give them to me, I will even do my nicest smile. No problem.

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On 8/12/2017 at 7:57 PM, Maik971 said:

Totally agree with you.
Have a SL relationship (without other direct contact via phone or video) is not cheating. Maybe is symptom you are bored, but is not cheating. Like is not cheating to read erotic literature, watch porn and *onanism*. These are ways to avoid cheating. Especially when the intention is to keep it strictly virtual.
You get it 100% when you said is like writing a romantic-erotic story. That is what SL really is, to write stories together with remote/anonymous writers. But of course can start a cheating when you go beyond and begin to have contact with the real person on the other side.
If i write an erotic story, that does not mean I have an affair with the reader.

Technically, any SL relationship is only half written by you. The other half comes from the people you interact with. So, in that mindset, I can easily see how a SL relationship could easily be cheating. You are interacting with another person. Would you be pleased to find your SO "chatting up" a cam person? 

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21 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

 Would you be pleased to find your SO "chatting up" a cam person? 

He did specifically say "without direct contact via phone or video".  If you are going to disagree with him, then you need to at least keep it within the parameters that he has set in his own statements.

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25 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Would you be pleased to find your SO "chatting up" a cam person?

Without me? Hmm.  Maybe.  It depends on our budget and how much he spent.

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On 8/8/2017 at 11:11 PM, Rhonda Huntress said:

I have a girl friend.  My husband knows about my girlfriend.  My husband encouraged me to have a girlfriend.  My husband introduced me to my girl friend.

Am I cheating?

Yes. Yes you are. YOU ATE MY COOKIES! I know cuz I followed the crumbs all the way back to your skybox. (And leaving the empty wrapper behind was such a gut-punch too! Shame on you!)

:D

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I have this avatar specifically to avoid cheating. If i want to cheat i can start talking on messenger with ladies of my town that already like me. If i am here texting and interacting with the avatar of a person living in another continent, is not because is my only chance to date someone, is because i like to chat without RL bindings, without even risking to cheat my RL partner. This is my situation and I am fine with it. Of course I accept that need to chat with someone else can be symptom that something is missing in my RL relationship. But if i want to cheat, I cheat in RL, in my town. Anyway, if i am not happy of my RL partner, i just change it, without to hide, without cheating, without lies.

This does not mean that SL relationship is never cheating, just that is not always cheating.

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7 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

He did specifically say "without direct contact via phone or video".  If you are going to disagree with him, then you need to at least keep it within the parameters that he has set in his own statements.

point taken.. 

How about a skype call with no video? Or hell, just on voice in SL. All that heavy breathing and moaning. Personally, i wouldn't be pleased to walk in on my wife in that situation and would indeed call that cheating. However, my wife and I have decided that SL is SL and we both know where home is. So, in that case, it isn't cheating to US. Keyword there.. US.. What any of us call cheating only really matters to the two RL people involved with each other in RL. Our opinions are just that. No one should judge anyone on how they decide to run THEIR SL. 

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36 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Keyword there.. US.. What any of us call cheating only really matters to the two RL people involved with each other in RL. Our opinions are just that. No one should judge anyone on how they decide to run THEIR SL. 

^^ This - and it can't be emphasized enough.

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i always tell people at the very start of any second life relationship that whatever we have will stay in sl and never go to to rl. they can accept that or move along.

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3 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

i always tell people at the very start of any second life relationship that whatever we have will stay in sl and never go to to rl. they can accept that or move along.

Please don't think I'm trying to call you out or anything of the like, I absolutely am not. But have you given any thought to what might happen, say a few months down the road, should things take on an emotional tint that goes to a level that cannot be restrained to SL? I mean, it happens. We humans, though we start out with the best of intentions, often times can find ourselves going beyond our original limits. Even when there is a strong emotional resistance to "stepping over the line", the gradual chewing away at the wall can land you in a predicament you never intended. The old "frog in boiling water" analogy kinda thing.

And it may not be you that suffers this frailty, it might be your partner. Even though they may have fully intended to hold fast to the mutually agreed line, events outside your control, in their real life, may have twisted their head and heart enough that suddenly the virtual and limited SL relationship suddenly becomes much more important and alluring.

How would you handle such an eventuality? Would you be able to cut things off without implementing a "Scorched Earth" offensive? Could you have compassion for the other person even though you might be angry and hurt that they broke the rules?

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as long as they didnt start pushing for rl voice cam or whatever things could continue but yes if they started pushing for that id drop them.

ive been partnered to the same person in sl for over three years we care for each other very much and yes there has been some bleedover but neither of us has any desire to move to rl and dump our rl partners

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i may or may not be as slim young and beautiful as my avatar and neither may my sl partner but our hearts minds and souls inhabit our avatars and that mental connection is what makes us click.  

in sl she is sexy as hell and so much fun to be with but there is no way it can transfer to rl not with her and not with anyone else

i tell anyone looking for rl to go look in rl or at least look in rl forums and to stop trying to use sl for something it is not

in fact i often tell my sl boyfriend that nothing would make me happier than for him to tell me hes seeing someone in rl

Edited by BilliJo Aldrin
added paragraph at end
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