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Amusing idea but, generally, the parcel owners, or officers in the land group do the asskicking when it's needed, you will be hard pressed to find a land group who will give asskick authority to an unknown party who turns up asking for a job as an asskicker.

They are more likely to simply asskick the asskicker-wannabes ass...
 

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You could apply for being a host. Most likey hosts are needed in clubs.
You can say hello to everyone, you can annoy entertain the guests by your barrage of silly gestures like "Tuuuuuuune", "This DJ gives me an eargasm" or any kind of ascii art, and probably you will kick some asses.

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10 minutes ago, Resi Pfeffer said:

You could apply for being a host. Most likey hosts are needed in clubs.
You can say hello to everyone, you can annoy entertain the guests by your barrage of silly gestures like "Tuuuuuuune", "This DJ gives me an eargasm" or any kind of ascii art, and probably you will kick some asses.

you forget  "show some linden love" ......urghhh  ( this last not by the host  :)  )

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