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kurt28

Ladies - what do you think about sex in SL?

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Just now, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Niiiice dodge. I bet you can dodge a wrench.

I see that you didn't answer why you responded to me. To quote you, nice dodge.

I have no fight with you Drake. I only want to discuss the topic. I will ignore all your future posts that are off topic.

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11 hours ago, Dada Beck said:

I see that you didn't answer why you responded to me. To quote you, nice dodge.

I have no fight with you Drake. I only want to discuss the topic. I will ignore all your future posts that are off topic.

To discuss the topic you need to actually participate in the topic. You have said several times that you dont want to do all the work. You dont want to do anything that doesn't please you and only pleases them. Yet you say you havent had SLex in 12 years. 

You do realize that anything you do in SLex benefits both people involved, right? If you make her happy, she will make you happy. DO you do nothing to solely pease a RL partner? Does she have to be working on you at the same time? What a selfish person. 

I responded to you because you have complained several times about what you perceive to be one sided SLex, yet you turn around and say you dont have SLex and habvent in 12 years. How could you possibly have any relevant input to this discussion with info that is that far out of date? 

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15 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

 

Drake, 

Please don't misquote me. I never said that I don't want to do anything that doesn't please only me. Take the only out. 

Yes, if I am pleasing someone, I want to be pleased in return. That's not selfish at all. It's the foundation of a healthy relationship. I am not selfless, but that doesn't mean I am selfish. I believe in the middle ground. You may not, and more power to you then. Keep pleasing women trusting that they will please you in return. I don't do trust, I verify.

I may not have had SL sex in 12 years, but I talk to women all the time on SL. The majority philosophy still is that SL sex has to be what arouses women, and men need to come along for the ride. Otherwise they are a piece of excrement. In fact, I would say that the attitude has shifted a lot more in that direction over the past 12 years. Witness this thread. Only a couple women have talked about pleasing men here.

Anyway, you do as you wish, and I will do as I wish. 

Peace out,

Beck

 

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On 7/26/2017 at 11:31 PM, kurt28 said:

How many of you ladies are into SL sex?  Just wondering if I need to get good at it or not. 

just remember - it may not be a "lady" you are bumping pixels with! 

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I don’t really like sex in SL outside of just for fun with my irl partner when we’re bored in game.

i do however really like doing just about anything and everything else in more public adult spaces, I find a great deal of fun in doing things you can’t realistically do irl, if the place is A rated and the atmosphere and rules permitting, why be timid about anything? 
Got that safety net of a virtual persona, let people look watch if they want. SL lets you do a lot you might not get to experience irl.

i have no problem with fully admitting that I am the furry sexual deviant stereotype, 

Edited by cheesecurd

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On 10/12/2019 at 8:14 PM, cheesecurd said:

i have no problem with fully admitting that I am the furry sexual deviant stereotype, 

But you are so CUTE....  :)

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1 hour ago, Nalates Urriah said:

But you are so CUTE....  :)

I’m more cute without any clothes on ;) 

Fitting a stereotype is fun, and something I’ve learned to support in myself and others is that sometimes you’re just a stereotype and that’s fine. As long as you enjoy being a stereotype then don’t view it as a negative.

I guess I can tie that back into the main topic. I think if you enjoy it and maybe even if you’re only here for it, there’s nothing wrong with sex in SL. Do you what you want to do. A lot of women I meet are super touchy about the topic and go to A rated spaces to be that person at a beach who puts a folding chair where the slow waves are because they don’t want anything more than their feet getting wet. If you’re worried about social response to wanting to do sexual things in SL, it’s doing yourself a disservice to restrict yourself to avoid being affiliated with the oh-so-taboo world of SL sex. A lot of people seem to avoid it because they don’t want to enjoy doing these virtual sexual things, because that makes them a weirdo sexual deviant.

Just embrace the weird, you’re a weirdo and that’s ok.

Edited by cheesecurd
Oh instead of ph
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Sex stuff online is something I can be totally meh about. I've written ERP but it's been with characters, canon or original, and never with "me"  interacting with "them", if that makes any sense. That is something I find totally unappealing and... I don't know, it makes me jittery and want to be like a bunny rabbit and hop away as fast as I can. I also don't find physical enjoyment in it, as there is no arousal.  Now, when I was with my ex, I found it fun - we were mostly long distance and we collected an ass ton of furniture in SL to go along with the various characters we liked to write for. But, since they're my ex I really haven't gone looking around to see how it is. I've thought about scoping out some of the destinations, but I'm not sure I'd stay longer than a few minutes or be more than a wallflower. I could say that I'd be willing to do it for lindens, because 👀 I have a list of things I want longer than a CVS receipt. But, that wouldn't entirely be true because the whole -- egh feeling.

I find that some people treat SL adult stuff like people do cybering or ERP. Like somehow, you're some kind of gross person for engaging in such things. I remember in MMO's when I was younger people would fly off the handle if they suspected someone was a ERP'r and it's just.. why? Unless they're jamming it down your throat, mind your own business lmao. I also noticed that some people like to throw in voice and other stuff. I don't do voice - I may have been born female, but I have a persistently squeaky voice that is bad enough to me I think I'd die of mortification before I managed to vocalize a proper flirt. Camming is a hell no, because eueughgh.

One of my long time F-list buddies has been on SL for like, 13 or 14 years. She primarily pops on for the Sex™️ since she finds it fun, and has gotten herself into a handful of goofy situations over the years. I've heard lots about the different situations she's ended up in, along with a few stories of "Oh yeah he stopped approaching me for the secks because he got a girlfriend... only to come back three days later when she dumped him." The fact most people head more towards cybering than erotic roleplay is something she handles a LOT better than I do. Especially when it's someone that has a partner in real life. But, I do get a lot of good furniture recommendations from her so there's that. 🤣

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On 11/14/2019 at 12:03 AM, miaminightmare said:

I find that some people treat SL adult stuff like people do cybering or ERP. Like somehow, you're some kind of gross person for engaging in such things. I remember in MMO's when I was younger people would fly off the handle if they suspected someone was a ERP'r and it's just.. why? Unless they're jamming it down your throat, mind your own business lmao.

One of my long time F-list buddies has been on SL for like, 13 or 14 years. She primarily pops on for the Sex™️ since she finds it fun, and has gotten herself into a handful of goofy situations over the years. I've heard lots about the different situations she's ended up in, along with a few stories of "Oh yeah he stopped approaching me for the secks because he got a girlfriend... only to come back three days later when she dumped him." The fact most people head more towards cybering than erotic roleplay is something she handles a LOT better than I do. Especially when it's someone that has a partner in real life. But, I do get a lot of good furniture recommendations from her so there's that. 🤣

Why? Because people are bigots, that's why. I used to play wow for a long time - not since classic, though - mostly doing roleplay and yeah, your reputation suffered when you admitted on doing erp - mainly if you did it for the sake of it, like a random hookup. It was more accepted when you added "I do it to advance my characterdevelopment!!!11" or anything in that vein. Like you had to have a good reason to erp and wheren't allowed to do it because... it's fun? But I guess that has a lot to do with how sex is viewed in rl as well. As in, good girls are pure and chaste, you know? 
I did what most people did and made another account for erp. At one point, I stopped giving a damn about what people think about me, especially when a LOT of those flying-of-the-handle- people do it themselves.
 

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On 7/27/2017 at 1:30 PM, Jeny Howlett said:
  On 7/27/2017 at 1:00 PM, Klytyna said:

Just do what most SL guys do...

Buy a Prison Gym Steroid Abuse Body, marinade it in dark orange spray tan for 72 hours, add some gheto-thug wannabe tattoos, a gold medallion, some baggy crotch at knee height jeans and a pair of canoe sized Faddidas-Crike Clown-Max Inflatable Designer Running Shoes (tm) and some really really bad 'used janitor mop' hair. 

Then tp to a sim with women on it, walk up to the group, say "HELLO LAYDEEEEEES!" after which you stand silently, with your viewer cam-locked on the largest pair of boobs, lean back in your chair, take your hands off the keyboard and press them both to your temples, and concentrate really hard while chanting the mantra... 

"The Power of Macho Compels You... IM Me and beg for sex... Please?"

Over and over for about an hour, then tp to a different sim, rinse and repeat.

Congratulations, you have learned the Art of the Class 1 Loiterer. Note, if you cave in and IM them, you will be downgraded to a Class 2 and forced to live in Eternal Shame because your Macho failed!

ROFL!! Love this reply ...awesome!

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On 11/30/2019 at 7:26 PM, Sukubia Scarmon said:

Why? Because people are bigots, that's why. I used to play wow for a long time - not since classic, though - mostly doing roleplay and yeah, your reputation suffered when you admitted on doing erp - mainly if you did it for the sake of it, like a random hookup. It was more accepted when you added "I do it to advance my characterdevelopment!!!11" or anything in that vein. Like you had to have a good reason to erp and wheren't allowed to do it because... it's fun? But I guess that has a lot to do with how sex is viewed in rl as well. As in, good girls are pure and chaste, you know? 
I did what most people did and made another account for erp. At one point, I stopped giving a damn about what people think about me, especially when a LOT of those flying-of-the-handle- people do it themselves.
 

Well, to be honest I do loathe the eRP "community" in WoW. Not because I'm a bigot, but because of how terrible those people are. A players repuation suffered rightfully, if they were labled as an eRP-player. And from my viewpoint it always had very little to do with the fact that they were playing out adult relationships, because thats actually quite common, although its nothing openly discussed (as that would be somewhat awkward tbh).

Your reputation suffered, because being an "eRPler" meant that you were explicitly driven by out-of-character motivation, instead of following character-consequence and logic. An eRP-player plays with whats inside their pants, instead of their brain. Their roleplay serves the purpose to fap to some elves, to put it blundly and a lot of them are absolutly terrible roleplayers in general with ridicoulus character designs. Being associated with that is like admitting you are part of the bottom of the barrel in terms of roleplay quality. 

Another big reason (at least in the past) why they were so hated was, that they were ruining things for us all. They had successfully managed to ruin every roleplayers reputation in the general playerbase. 

The only aspect, where I can see some connection to how sex is viewed in RL, are probably the screenshots, that hit the public forums years ago. Weird and questionable kinks really do not fly well with the general public.

 

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12 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

Well, to be honest I do loathe the eRP "community" in WoW. Not because I'm a bigot, but because of how terrible those people are. A players repuation suffered rightfully, if they were labled as an eRP-player. And from my viewpoint it always had very little to do with the fact that they were playing out adult relationships, because thats actually quite common, although its nothing openly discussed (as that would be somewhat awkward tbh).

Your reputation suffered, because being an "eRPler" meant that you were explicitly driven by out-of-character motivation, instead of following character-consequence and logic. An eRP-player plays with whats inside their pants, instead of their brain. Their roleplay serves the purpose to fap to some elves, to put it blundly and a lot of them are absolutly terrible roleplayers in general with ridicoulus character designs. Being associated with that is like admitting you are part of the bottom of the barrel in terms of roleplay quality. 

Another big reason (at least in the past) why they were so hated was, that they were ruining things for us all. They had successfully managed to ruin every roleplayers reputation in the general playerbase. 

The only aspect, where I can see some connection to how sex is viewed in RL, are probably the screenshots, that hit the public forums years ago. Weird and questionable kinks really do not fly well with the general public.

 

Syo, you know I platonically love you to bits, but here's my perspective. (A little late, yeah, but I like you, and hitting you with walls of text instead of spitefully giving you the laughter emote is my way of saying I like you. *ducks* )


The way you make it sound, or rather, how I read your words, is that "eRP'er" as a label is a substitute/synonym for "bad roleplayer".  Which I do disagree with, of course. I am NOT saying there aren't a lot of terrible roleplayers in the erp scenes - because there are; in the same way that there are a lot of terrible roleplayers in every other scene. I think the leader of one of the biggest guilds on the server we both played on is a bad roleplayer because she literally told and didn't show, never payed attention to other people, and plays a princess with a perfect singing voice. Like.. dunno,that's considered good roleplay, please shoot me down. (You don't hve to be a special snowflake to make an interessting charakter, often times, giving a few more obvious flaws and quirks is plenty, but I'm digressing. I just don't want you to think I view someone asbad because they're not "uniqueeee" enough) . I've seen "higharchmage" as a title, dragons, races not belonging into the universe, anime-edgelords. I can't even say "Oh, erper's are more sexual in their descriptions!" because, dunno, I found non-sexualized descriptions of female characters are the exeption, actually. But erp'er tend to be more openly lewd in description and design, I'll admit that. And they tend to flock together, yes, because shared goals. But not all, since erp's are as varied as other rp'ers. Some value more story, some just a little.  People who point at goldshire to say "look at all those freaks" are actively looking for the freakshow, and will absolutely gloss over anyone who's not openly part of it. I am not saying there are not absolute trainwrecks of characters, mind you. But it's not as it's just the erp'ers. But it's a little more complicated than that, since not every erp'er is a goldshire visitor, and vice versa. I can tell, cause I am, or was, one of those.
Though not as successfull there, since I've looked for mostly storydriven content, as opposed to a quick hookup, that that's a bit harder to find their, at least on random.

What you said about motivation can be said about a lot of non-erp'ers as well, given that I've experienced a lot of people not giving a damn about consequences or logic. That's actually one of the biggest gripes I have with my fellow roleplayers - that many of them not even try. For example - "no chardeath!" and yet their character behaves absolutely reckless because the player KNOWS they can't die. That's inconsequential. I understand that people don't want their chars to die, but I think they should still behave like they COULD.
And, out-of-character motivation... yeah, I've known quite a few roleplayers who used rp as a means to an end. On the flip side, I'm an erp'er who tries to adhere to logic and consequence (and lore) as much as I can, and in case of wow, that's fairly easy since the setting actually allows a lot. Am I driven by an out of character motivation? I think that depends on viewpoint. I don't have erp with characters of mine who would not. I'll do that with characters that would. And yes, if I don't have a character that would, I can make one. Is that an ooc motivation? Then how is it different from making a character because you want to play in a certain plot that's, for example, racelocked - from my point of view, that'd also be ooc motivated.  

The part about their roleplays purpose... I see nothing wrong with it? If that's what they want? What I don't like is people trying to press erp onto people who don't want, or simply assuming they want to, but again, this a flaw of the human behind it, not the type of roleplay per se. God knows there's people who try to powerplay without ever thinking of getting in your pants. They usually just want to kill people - mostly to feel powerfull. Ironic.
And no, it's not admitting being part of the bottom barrel - it'S soley and only admiting to erp. The rest is interpretation by other people, and frankly, those people usually aren't the creme de la creme of roleplay, so I am not sure if I should concern myself with pots that call kettles black. I'm not saying I'm the super best roleplayer, but I am sure as hell not bad. I'd say I am average and let other people decide. 

What screenshots? Dunno, I never visited the forums there much, since I didn't like the people there, too much elitism for me - but that might be a whole other discussion. And while people for some reason loved to gossip to me, I never really listened. However, I don't live under a rock THAT big, so I think i had something to do with sabercats? I've actually newer seen them myself, nor was I there at the time. However, I can deduct the content/what happened. Yeah. Of course that doesn't fly well with the general public, very few things do. The general public on the other side of the pacific regulary flies of the handle when they accidentaly see a female nipple, for example. Whatever floats their boat, I guess?

I do disagree that erp'ers ruined it for others. First - online roleplay wasn't socially acceptale in the past, at all. People pictured us as fat, basement dwelling nerds because they assumed those where the kind of people who played games on the internet AND did (P'n'P)-roleplay, thus they're also the ones that'd do online roleplay. We're the ones who "talk funny/old timey" and got made fun off, despite it not being true. Luckily, those times are becoming past. Second - it got blown up because it contained sex, and sex sells, that's also true for negative press and word of mouth. 
If it wasn't the erp'ers, people would find another group as a stand-in scapegoat. That's people being people. I don't think it's ruined for anyone. I have no problem telling people that I liked to do roleplay. Most ask a few questions, and that's it, never got shunned for it, nothing. I always had more trouble with my fellow roleplayers than I had with non-roleplayers in regards to stuff like that. 

I know you're not a bigot Syo - I do understand your points, that's not the problem. I just think everything is a bit more complicated because it involves people, and ultimately, people are complicated. So don't loathe me, but keep liking me! ;_;

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Thank you, for your indepth answer Sukubia. I admit, I was initially a bit worried, after I hit the "send" button of my tiny eRP-rant (and I do share that platonic love and its the first time we disagreed ...sort of).

4 hours ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

So don't loathe me, but keep liking me! ;_;

I'll never loathe you! 🥰

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6 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

Thank you, for your indepth answer Sukubia. I admit, I was initially a bit worried, after I hit the "send" button of my tiny eRP-rant (and I do share that platonic love and its the first time we disagreed ...sort of).

I'll never loathe you! 🥰

I think disagreeing on some subjects is only normal - after all, we're not the one and the same. I had more trouble going over how to word certain things, because that'd have been much easier in german. But yeah, I was low-key worried there as well, lol.


Also, on a side note, that send me on a wild trip down the memory lane. You'd not believe the things I've seen or heard. I need brain bleach!

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11 hours ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

I think disagreeing on some subjects is only normal - after all, we're not the one and the same. I had more trouble going over how to word certain things, because that'd have been much easier in german. But yeah, I was low-key worried there as well, lol.


Also, on a side note, that send me on a wild trip down the memory lane. You'd not believe the things I've seen or heard. I need brain bleach!

 

I get you on that. I had written out a really long paragraph to try to explain myself a little bit further and more precise, but wasn't satisfied with it and deleted it again.

If you find the bleach, hand it over to me. Its been years and I could still tell you the content of those screenshots I mentioned... people are weird and disgusting.

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4 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

 

I get you on that. I had written out a really long paragraph to try to explain myself a little bit further and more precise, but wasn't satisfied with it and deleted it again.

If you find the bleach, hand it over to me. Its been years and I could still tell you the content of those screenshots I mentioned... people are weird and disgusting.

Feel free to, though. The more information I get on someones viewpoint, the better I can understand it, and it allows me to reflect on myself. :P

Eh, I don't really mind. I mean, I may make fun of some, because I'm sometimes a hypocritical a-hole, but ultimately my point of view is: Live and let live, as long as they don't harm anyone. And it's not like they spend christmas begging Santa to give them certain kinks. I know I didn't ask for mine, and some of them are weird, and probably disgusting, from some point of view. 

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Drake is almost funny in his confusion. Women can't ask for something because it's a "me-me selfishness", but should "understand what men need an try to fulfill it". Well, you can use professional service, there is a lot of areas in SL where girls will be happy to satisfy your needs, even (ugh...) cuddling - with a proper payment for our time.

Let me tell something from yesterday.

There I was opening gifts and trying clothes when some contact - I use to visit "adult sims", so guys find me and sometimes I have no idea where - called me. "Hey".

"Here we go again..." I said to myself, but for fun, decided to let it happen. "Hey" back, and after a few minutes, no other word, the guy sends a picture of his big virtual friend from South. Already laughing, I had no time to say anything before a TP offer pops. "Let's see how deep this can be", and accepted the offer. The guy was using one of those TELLAQ bodies (maybe this https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/KARA-AVATAR-BY-TELLAQ/6986043) with a emo wig and a gigantic, REALLY BIG member.

"Let's go doooown" I think laughing. He says "sit". I sit down. The action begins; I try to say something, with no answer for like five minutes. Not a single word typed

I understand he was using his hands :P. Does he undestand that it was absolutely boring to stay there being used for his enjoyment? If I let that happen all time, it would be common, but I usually don't give attention for "hey".

Besides, I TP away after that. He types "hey?"

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2 hours ago, angelikiinha said:

Drake is almost funny in his confusion. Women can't ask for something because it's a "me-me selfishness", but should "understand what men need an try to fulfill it". Well, you can use professional service, there is a lot of areas in SL where girls will be happy to satisfy your needs, even (ugh...) cuddling - with a proper payment for our time.

Let me tell something from yesterday.

There I was opening gifts and trying clothes when some contact - I use to visit "adult sims", so guys find me and sometimes I have no idea where - called me. "Hey".

"Here we go again..." I said to myself, but for fun, decided to let it happen. "Hey" back, and after a few minutes, no other word, the guy sends a picture of his big virtual friend from South. Already laughing, I had no time to say anything before a TP offer pops. "Let's see how deep this can be", and accepted the offer. The guy was using one of those TELLAQ bodies (maybe this https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/KARA-AVATAR-BY-TELLAQ/6986043) with a emo wig and a gigantic, REALLY BIG member.

"Let's go doooown" I think laughing. He says "sit". I sit down. The action begins; I try to say something, with no answer for like five minutes. Not a single word typed

I understand he was using his hands :P. Does he undestand that it was absolutely boring to stay there being used for his enjoyment? If I let that happen all time, it would be common, but I usually don't give attention for "hey".

Besides, I TP away after that. He types "hey?"

I do believe you mean Dada Beck and not me... I have no problem making whomever i am with happy. 

Perhaps if you didn't give these idiots satisfaction they "might" learn to do something. Not that i think they will, but even a broken clock is correct twice a day.. I mean, would you lay on the floor and let some neanderthal in RL have his way with you just because he walked up to you and said , "Ugg ugg, open legs" ?

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The whole question of sex, or even just intimate touch, is a confusing, emotional mess for me these days, in both rl and sl: yes, I have a libido, and plenty of ideas about what I like, but 15 years in an unhealthy rl relationship combined with confronting truths about my gender and sexuality has really pulled the rug out from under me, such that engaging sexually with another person feels insurmountable because I just don't know what would work or not with someone I'm attracted to any more.

The one short SL relationship (and sex) I've had, with someone who is still a dear friend, was exciting and fulfilling in terms of sharing who I am with someone, but the RL timing emotionally, and my lack of SL experience and knowledge at the time, meant it didn't work out. I'm not sure how sex in SL would work for me now, as physical touch has become so important to me in RL, although I can see the potential for fulfillment through mental stimulation and other forms of intimacy. And I know that the sensible path for me is to leave off getting involved in relationships until I've decompressed and feel more empowered as an individual in my real life.

But hey, maybe it wouldn't hurt to chill and explore a little.

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I don't do Slex that much. For me, without a connection in IM first, it's pointless. And I don't lay down after one IM chat either. I wait until I get connection. Then it can be fun. But it's basically just a small part of my SL. ;)

 

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