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I forgot how toxic this community can be!


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On 7/13/2017 at 10:23 PM, AmandaKeen said:

That's pretty much it :-) Its not limited to three, but beyond that it takes some managing. 

Even those relationships can be "open" if everyone consents (that's how they add more members).  The big pitfall is when Third joins who only really wants to be with *one* of the two existing Partners - meaning they didn't really want a Poly family anyway.

One way this can work is to kind of balance out the emotional and sexual needs within the family as well.

 

On 7/13/2017 at 10:29 PM, Talligurl said:

Interesting. I am kinda unsure of what direction I want to take my SL relationship wise at the moment, parts of this sound appealing however. 

I have a "niece" (she's actually the niece of one of my life long best friends) who is part of a poly relationship in RL, they are an amazing family, and so respectful of each other. It's really inspiring.

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This. You want people to read your profile, so I just read it. It immediately strikes me as both defensive and confrontational: the former because you're clearly reacting to things that have happ

What community? I never saw the people who happen to use Second Life has one community. They usually don't have too much in common.

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10 hours ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

And yet... there's guys with a partner and a declaration of undying love and affection to their one and only, totally committed to, sexually exclusive wife, constantly showing up at the escort sim I work at, looking for sex.

Oh but they have this strange notion that somehow sex you pay for isn't the same as sex you get for free. So paying for it means they are not really cheating on the wife. I get they same thing but from the opposite direction when I ask a guy to pay me for sex. "Oh baby I love you, you are my one and only, you should make love to me for free." Oh great, you love me, then you want to make me happy, so you are going to give me shopping money and let me go shopping and not expect anything in return. Not one of those guys who love me so much has taken that deal. I even had one guy who kept acting like he was my boyfriend, who I asked one day, if he cared so much why had he never bought one of my paintings for his apartment (he had spent plenty of money on other things, so I knew he could afford it.) I get back "I think you should give me one because you love me". I didn't say anything to him in response, just removed him from my friends list and blocked him.

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7 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

Would have done that already in the moment he started to act like my boyfriend.

I kept hoping he would buy a painting so i put up with him, when everyone is a potential customer for a business it complicates things LOL

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On ‎7‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 7:44 AM, BilliJo Aldrin said:

And yet... there's guys with a partner and a declaration of undying love and affection to their one and only, totally committed to, sexually exclusive wife, constantly showing up at the escort sim I work at, looking for sex.

I always say "Hi there, there looking for a present to bring home for the wife?"

One married guy that said he was too poor to pay my rates, I told him his wife needs to give him a bigger allowance.

:)

In my admittedly somewhat limited experience, this is the case with partnered SL males possibly more often than not. I do recall one very memorable night out dancing when the exact opposite was happening. A partnered couple came to the gig, none of us knew them. His profile was almost a love poem to his partner. He was also a total sweetheart of a guy. By the end of the night every female in the club—transgender, straight, even the lesbians—was hitting on him shamelessly. His partner just laughingly let it go right on. Easily one of the most enjoyable nights I've spent in SL.

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When talking about sexuality, it's good to remember that this is SL and SL is not the same thing to everyone.

When I was stripping and working as an Escort, it became apparent that there were MANY avatars of both avatar-genders who look at SL as a solely a sex-game. Therefore, they presume that other people see it the same way and act accordingly. They're doing what they believe is normal here - reaffirmed by the fact that sex is big business here.

When I was in the role play sims more, it became apparent that there are a LOT of avatars who consider all of SL a Live Action Roleplay. For them, everything is permissible because; "It's all roleplay and therefore not real".

Me, I have no expectation that SL need to have any relation to RL. When I interact with people, I make sure of what they are doing with their SL. I'm Ok with roleplay as long as everyone knows it's roleplay. I'm a big fan of sex, but the context is important to me. Especially as the internet has so many people whose RL social skills are not yet well-developed.

Its a hairball, so it's good to be up front about how you view SL and any "relationships" here.

Ambiguity has caused a lot of hurt.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Yes I know that from experience Amandakeen, i was young and dumb once and that's why i live by that new code. Let people know before things get serious, and if they still get pissed off about it, its on them not me. Its nice that people can actually handle different views and beliefs here. So many people get in a rage over nothing, when people believe in something others hate. 

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