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I forgot how toxic this community can be!


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Hi all! I have been trying to go with out a skybox for a week now and all it seems i run into are people who want to start drama and cause chaos. I don't know whats going on with people these days, but I'm in a open relationship and have updated my profile to blast that as loud as i can over a loud speaker, but for some reason people just love to throw around loose accusations when ever I'm with a girlfriend of mine! 

What the hell is the problem with people these days? Can they not read? Can they not understand that I don't get in there business, they shouldn't get in mine?  Imean come on. Its a wonder I haven't taken a break from sl because of just the small gas cloud of ***** that just hit me the last few days. 

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This. You want people to read your profile, so I just read it. It immediately strikes me as both defensive and confrontational: the former because you're clearly reacting to things that have happ

What community? I never saw the people who happen to use Second Life has one community. They usually don't have too much in common.

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Maybe find different people to hang out around or different places to hang out?  The way your profile reads lets others know that being accused of cheating is something that will get under your skin - maybe find a different way to indicate you are in an open relationship (just in your picks perhaps) and then let any comments just roll off.  

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Whether or not I agree with others' approach to things(and I can't say in this instance because..no one is here to defend whatever it is they said to you and the whole game of telephone thing that exists in life).....if you put it in your profile, and then want people to read your profile, you're putting it out there for discussion sake. If you want it to be "none of their business", then don't make it their "business". It's much easier to keep a private life private when you actually make it so. Not that this excuses piss poor behavior...assuming it was in the first place...of course. 

Sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.

Best advice...ignore, ignore, ignore...it works wonders :D

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21 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

If you want it to be "none of their business", then don't make it their "business". It's much easier to keep a private life private when you actually make it so.

This.

You want people to read your profile, so I just read it. It immediately strikes me as both defensive and confrontational: the former because you're clearly reacting to things that have happened (repeated accusations of cheating), and the latter because you're telling people to 'f*** off' and 'go f*** yourself'.

I'll be honest and say that when I see a profile like that there is no way I would even consider striking up a conversation. It's a huge warning sign that potential drama may follow this person around. Maybe that's why you've worded it that way. Maybe you don't want people talking to you. But if you do want people to talk to you, I'd consider re-wording both your 'about' section and your picks.

If you want to mention in your profile that you're in an open relationship, do exactly that. No more, no less. Something like: "I'm in an open relationship, and the others in that relationship with me are fully aware and supportive of it". That's all you need. And if anyone gives you crap about it, mute and move on. Life is too short to be allowing people to know that they've got under your skin.

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You say you get grief because you say you are in an open relationship in your profile. I had in mine that my SL husband said I could play with others, and that I would play with anyone who paid me. Basically saying hey I am in an open relationship, and I am a whore, yet I never got any grief over that. Fact is the same few people are the ones who get all the grief, this is because those few people bring it on themselves.

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2 hours ago, Reaos Heartsdale said:

What the hell is the problem with people these days? 

Welcome to my world.

Since 2010 I have been assaulted, griefed and harrassed  - both inworld and on this toxic forum - for daring to dissent from the sheeple who have turned SL into a ZX Spectrum version of Playstation Home.

My first ever post in this sick forum - a  modest proposal to grant noobs 'welfare' Linden dollars so that they could participate in the game and prepare themselves for work (and NOT find themselves joining sandbox griefer gangs, to extract revenge on the platform that denied them easy access to decent clothes, skins and shapes!!!)  - was met with a torrential outpouring of abuse so vile that Rodvik Linden himself wisely deleted the whole thread.

I have had abuse from griefers and from landowners; from 'noobs' and from the sickening 'Forum Cartel' (rot in pieces! RIP) These people fear me; there is no other explanation. I tell the truth, and this they despise. Just look at the bile vented at me for having the ***AUDACITY*** to stand up for POC and to oppose blackface ("B...buh...buh...racism's part of our fun on SL, boy!!!" - an irrelevant 'PN' from 2009). 

My advice: be strong, do not buckle. Let these trolls wither and die. 

Thou SHALT survive!!

 

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2 hours ago, Reaos Heartsdale said:

Well most people should

Well, the world (both SL and RL) is full of "shoulds".

I did go read your profile and WOW, just WOW.  I fully undestand now.  I'm pretty sure you are one of those people that are just always in the middle of some sort of drama.  As much as you might b!itch about not liking it, you won't actually do any constructive about it because deep down you don't really want it any other way.

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2 hours ago, clivesteel said:

Welcome to my world.

Since 2010 I have been assaulted, griefed and harrassed  - both inworld and on this toxic forum - for daring to dissent from the sheeple who have turned SL into a ZX Spectrum version of Playstation Home.

My first ever post in this sick forum - a  modest proposal to grant noobs 'welfare' Linden dollars so that they could participate in the game and prepare themselves for work (and NOT find themselves joining sandbox griefer gangs, to extract revenge on the platform that denied them easy access to decent clothes, skins and shapes!!!)  - was met with a torrential outpouring of abuse so vile that Rodvik Linden himself wisely deleted the whole thread.

I have had abuse from griefers and from landowners; from 'noobs' and from the sickening 'Forum Cartel' (rot in pieces! RIP) These people fear me; there is no other explanation. I tell the truth, and this they despise. Just look at the bile vented at me for having the ***AUDACITY*** to stand up for POC and to oppose blackface ("B...buh...buh...racism's part of our fun on SL, boy!!!" - an irrelevant 'PN' from 2009). 

My advice: be strong, do not buckle. Let these trolls wither and die. 

Thou SHALT survive!!

 

doc-vs-patented-preparation-v-butthurt-cream.jpg.6975643d52acb6d656d6b53137b1bc62.jpg

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6 hours ago, Reaos Heartsdale said:

Hi all! I have been trying to go with out a skybox for a week now and all it seems i run into are people who want to start drama and cause chaos. I don't know whats going on with people these days, but I'm in a open relationship and have updated my profile to blast that as loud as i can over a loud speaker, but for some reason people just love to throw around loose accusations when ever I'm with a girlfriend of mine! 

What the hell is the problem with people these days? Can they not read? Can they not understand that I don't get in there business, they shouldn't get in mine?  Imean come on. Its a wonder I haven't taken a break from sl because of just the small gas cloud of ***** that just hit me the last few days. 

That's sad :-(  My Partner and I have an open-ish relationship, and I have never caught grief for it - but I tend to hang out around places and people who are OK with the idea of Poly.

My issue with Poly in SL is that its hard to find a Third who really wants to be in a Poly "relationship" as opposed to just being a regular sexual partner with no other commitments. Still, looking is fun :-)

giphy.gif

Edited by AmandaKeen
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7 minutes ago, AmandaKeen said:

My issue with Poly in SL is that its hard to find a Third who really wants to be in a Poly "relationship" as opposed to just being a regular sexual partner with no other commitments. Still, looking is fun :-)

So what you are saying is that the three are free to have sex with each other, but are faithful to the threesome?

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Just now, Talligurl said:

So what you are saying is that the three are free to have sex with each other, but are faithful to the threesome?

That's pretty much it :-) Its not limited to three, but beyond that it takes some managing. 

Even those relationships can be "open" if everyone consents (that's how they add more members).  The big pitfall is when Third joins who only really wants to be with *one* of the two existing Partners - meaning they didn't really want a Poly family anyway.

One way this can work is to kind of balance out the emotional and sexual needs within the family as well.

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3 minutes ago, AmandaKeen said:

That's pretty much it :-) Its not limited to three, but beyond that it takes some managing. 

Even those relationships can be "open" if everyone consents (that's how they add more members).  The big pitfall is when Third joins who only really wants to be with *one* of the two existing Partners - meaning they didn't really want a Poly family anyway.

One way this can work is to kind of balance out the emotional and sexual needs within the family as well.

Interesting. I am kinda unsure of what direction I want to take my SL relationship wise at the moment, parts of this sound appealing however. 

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Amanda, I do have at least 3 girls that i am regular with, and meet occasionally others. Timezones help but when its with out a skybox, thats when its hard to keep any of them because of so many trolls trying to block you. Hell, alot of the trolls that i ran across even messaged my partner, and went to such lengths to try to create a rift. Thankfully she didn't take any of them seriously and hopefully understands that this happens like that sometimes with out a skybox, but at the same time, you guys now kinda see my point? 

Edited by Reaos Heartsdale
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Talli, its ok to explore both aspects of it. If you want to be monogamous, thats fine! if you want to have more then one, thats fine too. Its what you feel more comfortable with that is what counts. With me in sl i feel more comfortable with poly, as it allows me to explore women and learn how to understand them more quickly. 

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