PLEEEEEZE!!!!! help me and be my friend cause SL is so boring when you are lonely and alone

[Talligurl]

First the title of this tread does not accurately reflect the opinions or writing style of the poster.

To all those who post here looking for friends, I thought maybe a little advice would be helpful.

First, if you want to meet people, you need to get out there and talk to people. I know this is really hard to do in RL, but this is SL, it is so much safer here. People in SL cannot bite you for talking to them, they can't spit on you, they can't slap you upside the head, OK maybe they can but if they do it won't hurt. All you have to do is say hi to people, yes random people who you are not yet friends with. These can be people you who's avis you see near yours, or it can be people who's name you see on the list of people nearby. Will everyone like getting random IMs from total strangers, of course not, but hey if they don't like it they need to log off and read a book or something. Some people are going to be happy to have someone who wants to chat, and some of those will become friends, and some of those will end up being good friends you get to hang out with and have fun with doing lots of cool SL things. So basically that is it, don't be shy, people can't hurt you, the more people you talk to the more friends you will have.

 

Second, Stop looking for some else to make your SL fun. This one is a tough one, it took me a while to figure this one out, I almost quit SL because it wasn't fun and it wasn't fun because other people were not doing what I wanted them to do. Eventually I figured out that the only person who needs to make my SL fun is me. You need to realize the only one who will make your SL fun is you. Do what you want when you want the way you want. The thing is when you start to do that, you do a better job of making the SLs of other more fun, and so they want to be with you, so you get more friends. Stop standing in the audience waiting for someone to play a song you like, get up on stage and play that song yourself and watch the audience that starts to gather. Remember the best view in a rock concert is the view from the stage, so get up on stage.

[Syo Emerald]

14 hours ago, Talligurl said:

Second, Stop looking for some else to make your SL fun.

Excellent point. I think it can actually hinder you in making friends (and especially forging lasting friendships) if you put the other person under the pressure for being responsible for your entertainment. It also makes you more interesting for others, if you have something you like doing here, instead of just saying "well, I'm always bored".

The rest boils down to keeping a conversation going and to be open, dare to make first steps and rewarding the first steps other make. Be out there, be open to it.

[Sagadin]

 

16 hours ago, Talligurl said:

First, if you want to meet people, you need to get out there and talk to people. I know this is really hard to do in RL, but this is SL, it is so much safer here. People in SL cannot bite you for talking to them, they can't spit on you, they can't slap you upside the head, OK maybe they can but if they do it won't hurt.

It's been amazing to me how much SL has brought my social anxiety to the surface. When I first stumbled upon this place I would run like hell whenever there was another avatar around. Then I saw that and was like, "Why?, What the hell are they going to do to you, talk, bump into you, throw a bunch of man parts at you (yes that did happen early on in one of the SL gateway type sims)? But who cares after all?" And in RL I am pretty shy but that lasts usually only until I open up my mouth. So more and more I strike up random conversations, and sometimes people ignore you and sometimes not. Anyway this is a bit rambling, but I do appreciate what you are saying here. 

And on that note, anybody who wants to be friends, do IM me! I can't guarantee that I'll never respond, but then again I might get hit by a truck tomorrow and nobody here will ever know...

[Snugs McMasters]

9 minutes ago, Sagadin said:

I might get hit by a truck tomorrow and nobody here will ever know...

If we're talking about SL, and it's a fire truck or a tractor, Maddy will know.

[Talligurl]

51 minutes ago, Sagadin said:

I might get hit by a truck tomorrow and nobody here will ever know...

I was run over by a train once,didnt even knock me down

[BilliJo Aldrin]

darn, I was gonna send u a friend request.

[Talligurl]

LOL, I still take requests even run over.

 

[Nostoll]

 

привет

My first rule to get friends is to be crazy and totally insane, I was like that from the first day I never took things too serious so i was talking to everybody, talking in local chat, even if no one respond I keep talking alone, I go to random sims like japanese, korean and use translator,each time I tp on a sim I message everyone I see on the map  now i ve more than 300 friends on my list  and I never got a second free, when I login I get a lot of ims and tps and try to manage that, now I organize parties everyday in random empty sims and sandboxes also make flash mobs

Мир и рок-н-ролл

 

 

[Sagadin]

46 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

LOL, I still take requests even run over.

 

Me too! **limps along trying to keep up.**

[Syo Emerald]

3 hours ago, Sagadin said:

I might get hit by a truck tomorrow and nobody here will ever know...

I actually thought about this on a few occasions. Makes me consider to write a letter to instruct my parents about how and where to inform people that I'm forever offline.

[Ivanova Shostakovich]

   I too was shy at first, very reluctant to talk to anyone. I remember a few times, when I would walk into an in-world store, if I noticed the owner was present, (which used to happen a lot more often than it does now) I would usually become very self conscious and leave. I see it was silly now, but then... it's just how I was, with many social situations.

   The argument "They can't hurt you" is true. However, I am reminded of the 'sticks and stones' mantra, which, in reality, is sometimes true, sometimes not true, and sometimes a little of both. It gets a little fuzzy.

 

 

   The thing to remember here, is it can be important to grow a thick skin. But it's also good to remember what is important and what isn't. And it can help to have a bit of an analytical approach. If or when someone says something bad about you, or to you, but they don't know you, it's really as inconsequential as a breeze.

[image from xkcd.com]

[Aislin Ceawlin]

14 hours ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

darn, I was gonna send u a friend request.

LOL, when I saw the title and who posted it I thought "WOW! That sure doesn't seem like our Talli"!! Which is exactly why I had to open it! 

[Aislin Ceawlin]

13 hours ago, Nostoll said:

 

привет

My first rule to get friends is to be crazy and totally insane, I was like that from the first day I never took things too serious so i was talking to everybody, talking in local chat, even if no one respond I keep talking alone, I go to random sims like japanese, korean and use translator,each time I tp on a sim I message everyone I see on the map  now i ve more than 300 friends on my list  and I never got a second free, when I login I get a lot of ims and tps and try to manage that, now I organize parties everyday in random empty sims and sandboxes also make flash mobs

Мир и рок-н-ролл

 

 

OMG, I am ABSOLUTELY sending you a friend request, lmao! 

[Aislin Ceawlin]

12 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

I actually thought about this on a few occasions. Makes me consider to write a letter to instruct my parents about how and where to inform people that I'm forever offline.

I got an "app" from LittleMe Jewell that does something like that. If you don't log in for an amount of time specified by you, it alerts someone that you have chosen and I believe gives them your log in info so they can alert people. I'm not 100% on the details, I haven't read the documentation or set it up yet, so I'm relying on my faulty memory of how she described it, lol. 

Edited June 18, 2017 by Aislin Ceawlin

[Aislin Ceawlin]

BTW, I am absolutely accepting applications for new buddies, lol! Feel free to send me a friend request!! 

[Talligurl]

On 6/18/2017 at 3:34 AM, Aislin Ceawlin said:

LOL, when I saw the title and who posted it I thought "WOW! That sure doesn't seem like our Talli"!! Which is exactly why I had to open it! 

You know I actually got a few IMs from people who said something like. "I know how hard it is when you are lonely" and sent a friend request. Now if I was nefarious I would have dropped a truck on their head and set them on fire for not reading through the whole post, but instead I just smiled and thanked them.