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Is there such thing as finding real 'love' in a game.


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ive been through some really assholey guys in sl, they usually end up being cheaters, or using me to their own amusement. because my avatar is sort of attractive looking i would think thats the only thing men usually go for in sl, and i understand that some people come to sl for different reasons, but i just want to rant about some men in particular who have hurt girls like me who actually genuinely would love that guy with real pure feelings but in the end gets left disapointed that he sees you only as a game to play with. i can be naive and a girl who dreams to find a guy or even better a guy best friend to connect with in sl..but there is not many that i have connected with on that deep level, that are genuine and true. maybe i may be asking a tall order in a guy from just a game, but it would be nice for once, to have somebody real and as down to earth as me, that i can share everything with. i have once found a guy on here that i fell in love with, but after finding out his true colors, my heart seriously bled on that day when his old lover came online and he abandoned me for her. then told me that she was the one he really loved and it wasnt me. after that incident had happened, i could clearly see that love cant exist the way i want the real thing in sl. thanks to this guy, i realised that there can be those cassanova-type guys who can really say all nice pretentious things for their own amusement, steal your heart, keep you believing you're his only world while their other 'girls' are waiting in line. i vowed myself to not fall for anyone in a game. because i just dont want to have that same mistake. i know i dont need 'love' to have fun in this game, im sure i can find friendships much closer than that but just saying...as i said it would be nice to find that special someone. and its not all about sex for me or a guy with an attractive avatar. its much deeper than that.  

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41 minutes ago, ellaachan said:

his old lover came online and he abandoned me for her. then told me that she was the one he really loved and it wasnt me. 

Sometimes you have to read between the lines. You asked can real love happen here, but I think you already gave your answer, because it happened to that guy. True it wasn't with you which is what you want, but take hope from it, that somewhere out there is the guy who would leave someone else to be with you.

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true maybe i can see it from that perspective that love can definately happen, but the question is what kind of love. that guy who left me for someone else it not love. for me he just found another and i know there has been times when he was with another girl not just her. if he really knows what love is...shouldnt he stay with one person and make up his mind?

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btw i witnessed him being with this other girl while he was with me at the time, then this 'old lover' came back on, thats when i found out he was a player and just playing with all these different girls at once. whatever he said to me 'that he loved her' was just a way to dump me. on top of that he led me on, played me to his emotions, he actually said to me that 'he loves me and only me and he would never hurt me' would you believe that and look how it turned out. he didnt mean any of it, but i must say he was a good actor for romeo rofl

Edited by ellaachan
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"Real love" is whatever is meaningful to those involved. I love my Partner, but she's a LONG way from me - so we talk in SL every night and after a decade, the affection is sort of there to stay.

I know a polyamorous family that seems to genuinely love one another...all three of them. 

SL is home to many facets of "reality" that are unfettered by traditional "Real Life" constraints; how can love be any less-mundane here?

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I'm often amused when I see people expressing the feeling that the things that happen here are different than those that happen in real life. Real life sneaks into SL occasionally. Perhaps it's even here all the time. Love can happen here. Sometimes in ways you might not expect. Surprises can happen. I try to hold, in my mind, what SL is to me. But it shifts and wavers like a distant mirage, defying definition.

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23 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

"Real love" is whatever is meaningful to those involved. I love my Partner, but she's a LONG way from me - so we talk in SL every night and after a decade, the affection is sort of there to stay.

I know a polyamorous family that seems to genuinely love one another...all three of them. 

SL is home to many facets of "reality" that are unfettered by traditional "Real Life" constraints; how can love be any less-mundane here?

interesting, there seems to be some people out there i guess who find that real kind of love as they do in reality, but as from my experience and from the type of people ive encountered i guess are not that serious in a game. just a majority of those residence come to sl to seek escape from real life and create a fantasy or just having temporary fun. i could be looking for love in the wrong places and parts in sl, surrounded by those kind of people...who knows

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On 5/20/2017 at 10:01 PM, ellaachan said:

ive been through some really assholey guys in sl, they usually end up being cheaters, or using me to their own amusement. because my avatar is sort of attractive looking i would think thats the only thing men usually go for in sl, and i understand that some people come to sl for different reasons, but i just want to rant about some men in particular who have hurt girls like me who actually genuinely would love that guy with real pure feelings but in the end gets left disapointed that he sees you only as a game to play with. i can be naive and a girl who dreams to find a guy or even better a guy best friend to connect with in sl..but there is not many that i have connected with on that deep level, that are genuine and true. maybe i may be asking a tall order in a guy from just a game, but it would be nice for once, to have somebody real and as down to earth as me, that i can share everything with. i have once found a guy on here that i fell in love with, but after finding out his true colors, my heart seriously bled on that day when his old lover came online and he abandoned me for her. then told me that she was the one he really loved and it wasnt me. after that incident had happened, i could clearly see that love cant exist the way i want the real thing in sl. thanks to this guy, i realised that there can be those cassanova-type guys who can really say all nice pretentious things for their own amusement, steal your heart, keep you believing you're his only world while their other 'girls' are waiting in line. i vowed myself to not fall for anyone in a game. because i just dont want to have that same mistake. i know i dont need 'love' to have fun in this game, im sure i can find friendships much closer than that but just saying...as i said it would be nice to find that special someone. and its not all about sex for me or a guy with an attractive avatar. its much deeper than that.  

 Even women can really mess up guys. Just from a personal experience

I've met people in SL who i know .. Got married in RL. Depends on what you are seeking here. And how important it is to you. So yes. You sure can find the right person.

I've moved on to find people who are really good friends rather then girlfriends. I believe if you search enough you would meet all type of people some real, some fake. some are pretentious and some play. I remember my first day in SL i found the virtual world myself and thought i could start a new life from scratch be who i really want to be. Meet new people and make awesome friends. But even SL is not very far from RL . Your character nature and attitude and the values that you are born with make you like or unlike people. Some people will CLICK together very fast, some pretend to click. Those who stick together at the end of all the hardships are the only one you can count upon. So don't lose hope. You would find that right one. It takes time. So build thick walls around your heart and only let the right one in. 

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On 5/22/2017 at 4:43 AM, Duke Avelino said:

 Even women can really mess up guys. Just from a personal experience

I've met people in SL who i know .. Got married in RL. Depends on what you are seeking here. And how important it is to you. So yes. You sure can find the right person.

I've moved on to find people who are really good friends rather then girlfriends. I believe if you search enough you would meet all type of people some real, some fake. some are pretentious and some play. I remember my first day in SL i found the virtual world myself and thought i could start a new life from scratch be who i really want to be. Meet new people and make awesome friends. But even SL is not very far from RL . Your character nature and attitude and the values that you are born with make you like or unlike people. Some people will CLICK together very fast, some pretend to click. Those who stick together at the end of all the hardships are the only one you can count upon. So don't lose hope. You would find that right one. It takes time. So build thick walls around your heart and only let the right one in. 

Thankyou so much for your knowledge and advice i feel very inspired now and your so right about the kinds of people we meet in sl. theres so many people out their with different morals and values and i will one day find the people who will click. ^_^ i still havent been here long enough to say ive had enough experience. only a couple months, i may have concluded too soon about my journey in sl.

Edited by ellaachan
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On 5/22/2017 at 5:45 AM, ellaachan said:

Thankyou so much for your knowledge and advice i feel very inspired now and your so right about the kinds of people we meet in sl. theres so many people out their with different morals and values and i will one day find the people who will click. ^_^ i still havent been here long enough to say ive had enough experience. only a couple months, i may have concluded too soon about my journey in sl.

Have fun Exploring! You need to go see live music, go sailing, ride a whale, play golf, be a vampire, have a family, shopping you could do everyday lol. but people you would meet doing something in SL would be more productive and more genuine then players on the lookout for easy time.

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I'd say it IS possible. In fact I met my fiance in World of Warcraft and now we've been living together for over a decade. Games can be just like any other social activity. There's so many people that you'll meet some good ones and some bad ones and anything is possible.

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Just to add my opinion....I like all the positive answers and I too agree that it's possible and even under certain circumstances probable. Once an avatar starts 'talking' to another avatar, you can call it roleplay in a game all you want, but it is still two humans communicating directly unless it's an out and out roleplay scenario (and sometimes even then). If one of them is a bad person that will eventually be learned, same as it would in RL. Has nothing to do with SL at all.

Yes, it is possible to fall in love in SL. Some of us have to fight like hell to avoid it, tbh (not always successfully). It's possible to fall in love in a bomb shelter during an air raid, I imagine. Pretty sure someone once wrote, "Love will out."

If that hasn't been written before, it has now. :-) Take it slow, Ellaa. The One is probably here somewhere; you'll know when you start talking if you're going in the right direction.

Edited by Dillon Levenque
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