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About me?


Ian Undercroft
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It's evident from replies to threads started by residents seeking advice or guidance on making friends that many SL residents see the "About Me" section of our profiles as a way to "sell" themselves to others and believe thats it's worthwhile giving that section of their profiles careful thought and attention. No doubt, older residents over time will have altered or tweaked the "About Me" section of their profiles based on their experiences of how others have reacted or responded upon reading that section.

I confess that I approach the "About Me" section of profiles with a degree of cynicism.

However, assuming I'm in a minority, it occurs to me that it might be useful for older residents to share for the benefit of less experienced residents particular things that they have found it useful or effective to include in the "About Me" section and particular things which they have previously included, but now deleted, because their erstwhile inclusion gave the wrong impression or attracted the "wrong" type of resident to them.

 

 

 

 

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Yes, this is what happened to me.  I've been here almost four years now and in the beginning, I had all of that filled out plus pics, etc...until some PITA kept pestering, following, showing up.  Became a real nuisance.  Someone had mentioned that they could pick up a lot of detail from what I wrote, where the pics were taken and so forth.  I emptied my profile then...these type of people kind of take the fun out of everything :( 

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The "about me" section is quite useful for residents who engage in adult RP. It allows us to list our likes and dislikes (in a very careful, borderline G-rated manner) and avoid being chatted up by people who don't share our interests. At the very least, adult role-players will probably want to list their gender preference/s. Of course it can also be used to inform others of the fact that one isn't looking for any kind of romantic activities.

Things one might want to avoid are pretentious literary quotes and song lyrics (they always give the impression that one has nothing original to say), as well as insults. With insults, I mean lines such as "if you are one of the tards who can't even / treat others like / think that they [delete as applicable and insert personal pet peeve], do me a favor and bugger off or die in a corner", or "MissSweetCheeks82 is the love of my life, mess with her and I'll bleeping mutilate you and eat your ozimal chickens for breakfast".

These are rather harmless examples. I've read much worse in people's profiles. They don't seem to be aware that even if one does not fall into the specified group of offenders, and wouldn't want to touch MissSweetCheeks82 with a ten-foot megaprim even if she came with a complementary sculpted fruit basket, the reader will still feel deeply insulted by the aggressive tone of these profile ramblings.

Another turn-off / warning sign is an excessive number of "don'ts" in someone's profile. Don't treat me like this, don't call me that, don't expect me to, and NEVER talk to me without first. Ironically, most of these divas who publish an outright user manual in their profile text and their picks (the "about me" section is usually not enough to list all their personal guidelines and terms of service) self-identify as submissives, which says pretty much all there is to know about BDSM in Second Life.

Not that I want to publish my own list of do's and don'ts here. If I had any say in the matter, SL residents would be free to fill their profile with any content they like, without the bothersome constraints of maturity ratings and ToS regulations. It's just that I often find myself wondering why people would join a social online platform and write up profile texts that can only cause everyone else to slowly back away or run off screaming.

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I always pre judge people with profile disclaimers, you know the ones that try to circumvent the TOS/CS on the sharing of IM logs.  I know I shouldn't pre judge but I do.

"No drama" irritates me. 

I have tried leaving my business info in and out of my profile About Me section as I like to write non business/contact stuff in it, but it is just more practical for it to be in there for me.

I used to think the "no copy, no modify, no transfer" line in profiles was cute until everyone started doing it.

"Taken" - And the point of that is...  It never acts as a deterrent.  Why don't they just partner and be done with it.

Profiles are very subjective, mine changes with my mood.

 

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Ian Undercroft wrote:

Sorry to hear about your stalker, Kylie. 

It's perhaps sensible to "create" pics at a public location (such as an infohub or whatever) and then change the picture and the text. This way no stalker will find his/her way to your home or favourite hang out.

Actually, he really wasn't a stalker in the normal sense...he just knew that it royally p*ssed off my partner at the time, knew it pushed his buttons and riled him up.  It kept things interesting for this person, I'm sure :smileyindifferent:

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I don't know how many people read profiles. Many say it is not important to them. I am an avid profile reader and use what I read as a way of gauging the personality of an avi, and if I like what I read, initiating a conversation with them.  Assuming there are other people out there who do the same, I like to populate my profile with whatever info I feel like conveying at the time.

I can't say that there is any one thing that I have removed due to it conveying an impression that has resulted in unfavorable attention / outcome. I change and tweak it more out of fancy than necessity.

I agree with Ishtara that I find the profiles with warnings and lists of "don'ts" a turn off, however I quite like the inclusion of poems, quotes and song lyrics.  Regardless of content, I would rather see a profile populated than blank.

Ultimately there is no right or wrong way to use your profile space, and you can be sure that no matter how you populate it there will always be people that like it and people that don't. I do recommend populating your profile. As far as the content goes - whatever blows your hair back ...

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My favorite is the use of Profiles to attempt to create binding contracts or agreements. The Terms Of Service and the Community Standards are the primary governors of SL. Simply declaring something in your Profile does not create an enforceable contract.

Additionally, Residents are entitled to Peaceful enjoyment of SL. In social exchanges, if a Resident states in their Profile that they prefer to be addressed (or not) in a particular fashion, I offer that Resident the courtesy and respect I would want for myself.

 In matters of Business, I prefer that the Resident I'm conducting business with, acts in an coherent professional manner.

I believe that less is more when considering the quality and quantity of information a Resident chooses to include in their SL Profile. My viewpoint on clothing is the opposite, leave something to be discovered.

 

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I have friends who fill out their profiles in great detail, and other friends who leave it blank. It's just a personal preference, I think. I put some basic info in my profile in hopes that if some one wants to talk to me, they will take a minute to read it and we can skip over the a/s/l type beginnings. I enjoy reading profiles, and can often tell if the person is someone I might want to chat with, or have something in common with, etc.

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Here's one of my favourite turn offs when I read a profile: "My IMs are capped".

It transcripts to this:

A.) "I'm a merchant (or manager) who doesn't want to bother with your complains about a failed delivery or a bad service. I have your money, and that's all I want. So shut up and leave me alone! If you're such a noob that you don't know that I can receive all your IMs by e-mail, uncapped, you don't deserve a better treatment!"

B.) "I'm a VIP who receives zillions of IMs per minute, because I'm so popular, desired, and whatever. I really don't have the time to deal with a nothing like you. Even if you know that I can receive all your IMs by e-mail, uncapped, it doesn't make a difference, because I'm soooo popular, desired, and whatever, and I can't spend a second of my precious time to look down at you from a window of my ivory tower, because I'm sooooooooo special, and desired, and whatever, that I'd might miss an IM from the REALLY important people if I'd bother with YOU." 

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Oh, I forgot option C. It transcripts to this:

"I'm an incompetent fool, who doesn't even know that I can receive all your IMs by e-mail, uncapped. You better don't fall for me when you're looking for a real professional in merchandising, building, scripting, or general knowledge. But since I wanted to point out how occupied and important I'm already are, I put this "capped" remark in my profile. I might be an uncapable noob, but I'm still smart enought to outwit a real idiot like you!" 

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