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Second Life or Skanky Life?


lesazuke Resident
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I'm a brand new player here and am already feeling very out of place and disappointed.  Everywhere I look, the clothing for women looks like sex-fantasy stuff, and that's not really what I'm interested in AT ALL. Within the first fifteen minutes of playing the game, a naked guy walked up to me and started "pushing" my character.  So I had to stop and take time out to learn how to get away from him.  I wanted to find new clothing for my avatar, but can not find a SINGLE SHOP that is not sex-fantasy oriented.  Is there way to find shops and destinations that have more modest appeal?  I want to explore and build really cool places, I want to dress my character in beautiful clothes, or sporty clothes, or fun costumes, but I'm not at ALL interested in sex fantasy stuff.  Am I in the wrong game?  

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32 minutes ago, lesazuke Resident said:

I'm a brand new player here and am already feeling very out of place and disappointed.  Everywhere I look, the clothing for women looks like sex-fantasy stuff, and that's not really what I'm interested in AT ALL. Within the first fifteen minutes of playing the game, a naked guy walked up to me and started "pushing" my character.  So I had to stop and take time out to learn how to get away from him.  I wanted to find new clothing for my avatar, but can not find a SINGLE SHOP that is not sex-fantasy oriented.  Is there way to find shops and destinations that have more modest appeal?  I want to explore and build really cool places, I want to dress my character in beautiful clothes, or sporty clothes, or fun costumes, but I'm not at ALL interested in sex fantasy stuff.  Am I in the wrong game?  

Yes, of course there are plenty of shops that don't cater to "sexy" outfits. Try going to some shopping events. There you will find a variety of styles, can try some demos and maybe find a few designers that are your style. Then join their free groups if they have one and get news on new releases and now and then some gifts.

Here is a list of the main monthly shopping events: http://seraphimsl.com/category/recurring-events/monthly/

Some are hard to get into when they first open, but easier in a few days.   There is an alphabetical drop down menu. I suggest Uber and FaMESHed for the type of things you are looking for, but many events will likely have things you will like. Some things in that list are venues for houses, some for risky stuff (Kinky would be one of those).  So find your events and then visit them monthy or in some cases bimonthly or every three months.

Good luck shopping. 

 

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2 hours ago, lesazuke Resident said:

I'm a brand new player here and am already feeling very out of place and disappointed.  Everywhere I look, the clothing for women looks like sex-fantasy stuff, and that's not really what I'm interested in AT ALL. Within the first fifteen minutes of playing the game, a naked guy walked up to me and started "pushing" my character.  So I had to stop and take time out to learn how to get away from him.  I wanted to find new clothing for my avatar, but can not find a SINGLE SHOP that is not sex-fantasy oriented.  Is there way to find shops and destinations that have more modest appeal?  I want to explore and build really cool places, I want to dress my character in beautiful clothes, or sporty clothes, or fun costumes, but I'm not at ALL interested in sex fantasy stuff.  Am I in the wrong game?  

When I am in world I almost always wear pyjamas, with or without novelty slippers, I like to be comfy. Link to pyjama store can be found on my profile picks if you look for my profile via the in world Search option. 

As for any guy - naked or not - pushing your avatar, always find something to sit on and block/mute the person pushing. Or better still, teleport to somewhere else - easy enough to do if you just click on the icon for the world map that should be on one of the edges of your viewer's screen, and choose a random destination (aim for blue water sims at first, they are usually empty of fools). 

Hang in there, stick it out, your disappointment will fall away after a week or so. It really is a matter of getting your bearings in this vast new world of ours you've entered.  And you will get plenty of good advice here on the forums. 

Have you looked at any of the tutorial videos to help you also? Click on "Knowledge Base" above for more information.

 

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Lesazuke,

Welcome to Second Life!

What you are noticing is, in fact, one aspect of SL.  Yep, sometimes it seems like all the stores in SL start where Victoria's Secret and Fredericks of Hollywood leave off.  But there ARE lots of stores that sell attractive, non-skanky clothes, and also places where you can find lovely period or fantasy costumes.

I think that one reason that the clothing in SL is a lot more...revealing than most Real Life clothing is that in SL, we can (and usually do) look young, slim, and pretty enough to actually WEAR clothing like this and get away with it!  In SL, anyone can be a supermodel...and most of us are!

But it's possible to move past all that and develop a look that has class and style...looking great without tipping over into looking scandalous.  Try some places like Gizza, Legendaire, Purple Moon, and Shoenique.  Use the in world Search function and try some search terms like "retro", "medieval", "period clothing" and "costumes", too.

Besides sedate clothing, you may also want to find places where you don't run into naked guys (or they run into you).  Or at least, not often.  Caledon Oxbridge University is one newbie-friendly place where you'll find friendly, helpful people.

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Thanks everyone for your suggestions.  I feel better already!  I do think they ought to take a look at that tutorial world where new people enter the game and take a look at what newbies are exposed to.   Another weird thing for a new person on day one is to walk past a silent naked person rigidly standing spread eagle- who you find out later is apparently getting new clothes. And then when I wanted to change clothes (found one decent dress finally) I can see my own character go naked as I'm standing out in the middle of the store.  Are  we doing it wrong?  Thanks again!

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5 minutes ago, lesazuke Resident said:

[ .... ] And then when I wanted to change clothes (found one decent dress finally) I can see my own character go naked as I'm standing out in the middle of the store.  Are  we doing it wrong?  Thanks again!

That tells you a couple of things.   One is that you're doing it wrong.  Always add new clothing before you remove the old stuff.  That's easy if you always use the Add option instead of the Wear option, and then select the old item in your inventory and select Detach.  It also helps to remember to change clothing in the reverse order from what you would do in RL, if you are wearing layers.  That is, change your underwear first, then your outer layers.  That way, you always have an inner layer to cover yourself.

Second, it tells you that until you get proficient, it's probably not a good idea to change in public.  Find a nice quiet spot, like underwater on a Linden region like Smith or Pooley, where you are out of sight.  When I was a newbie, I used to change on the roof of a building in a sparsely-populated region.  You will also find that many shops offer a very private changing room where you can try things on.  (There's a lovely one in the shopping area on Linden Lab's Social Island that sends you to a random, safe temporary room in the sky.  Try it. 9_9)  If you have a home, of course, you could always just go there to change. 

Third, of course, it tells you that this is a virtual world, not RL, and your avatar is really just a collection of pixels.  You know this, of course, but it's easy to forget when your mind is immersed in the SL experience.  You are not really naked, any more than you were when your Barbie doll was naked many years ago.  Thanks to the magic of graphics rendering (plus a little help from clumsiness), we all have clothing malfunctions from time to time and most of us learn not to get overly flustered.  If it truly worries you, remember where the Home icon is on your viewer, or keep a handy favorite LM to that safe underwater spot, so you can teleport there in an instant and work off your rush of embarrassment.  Be assured that 95% of the people who might have seen your naked av will not be paying attention.

BTW, congratulations on finding that dress.  There are some really lovely ones in SL shops.  Once you start adding favorite shops to your list, you'll see them everywhere.

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4 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

When I was a newbie, I used to change on the roof of a building.

Just what I'd expect from a professor.

I changed under a barge in a canal.

ETA: Rolig, when she's not stripping on a roof somewhere, is an excellent example of modesty in SL. She sells some bedroom wear in the marketplace, but also some outfits that are perfectly suited for an evening at the library.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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