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Lotte1607

Sexual comments/sexual intimidation

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Hi everyone,

I'm pretty new to SL but lately I keep getting IMs saying stuff like nice ass, or nice *****. Does anybody have ideas about how I can avoid this? 

Greetz, 

Lotte1607 

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It can't be helped, there are always some nasty people on the Internet. If you "don't hear" the remarks and just ignore them (Save the shudders and build a nice bonfire later) that generally gets them to stop.

Not a very satisfying answer I know, but it does the job.

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it's sometimes not only the people... but also the place you visit

or the way some people dress

or

what AO you use ... some are ehm... quite inviting for commentary

( not saying you;r dressed wrong, i don't know you)

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I work in the adult industry, so I can't avoid it obviously. But typically it can be avoided based on what sims you go to and choose to hang out in. Odds are if it's an Adult oriented sim, you'll get comments like that.

Basically, watch what sim you're on, what you're wearing, and what AO you're using. 

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i usually just try politeness... i say something like "smiles, thank you" and most times, for some reason, i'll not get another PM...i'm guessin' they think if i'm very polite, i'm not a dirty little wh*re.... lol IF they continue to push, i'll let them know I have a Daddy who treats me VERY well, along with my chain sister, and i am very happy in my relationship as it is... and then again, thank them for their compliment. Usually when you are polite back to them, they aren't as ugly or mean... if you respond being ugly and mean, you'll prolly get it directed right back at you. If they turn into extreme disrespectful buttholes for some reason or another, you can quickly block them. My first week here, I went to Sin City, and some guy accosted me, he was ugly and mean and rude and with it being my first time here, i was very shaken... BUT, i got out my lollipop smasher and beat his butt around tha' SIM.. it was soooo funny! THEN i blocked him! lmao

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NooBs are like that.  I think some guys create new accounts just so they can act like jerks for a while.

Once you get away from the info hubs and starting areas you will get to where sexual harassment is much more of an art form and not just cat calls.

 

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9 hours ago, Lotte1607 said:

Hi everyone,

I'm pretty new to SL but lately I keep getting IMs saying stuff like nice ass, or nice *****. Does anybody have ideas about how I can avoid this? 

Greetz, 

Lotte1607 

Hello, Lotte. 

Its a bit like getting wolf-whistled at by builders in real life.  Ignore if you don't like, and respond if you do, or if you can find a one-liner.

I was having a look around a sim one day when a male avatar opened up an IM:

Male Av: "Hi, you look nice."

Me: "Why thank you, kind sir."

Male Av: "Would you like to see a picture of my c*ck?"

Me: "Would you like to see a RL picture of mine?"

Male Av went awfully quiet in IM and disappeared from the area! (Was it something I said?)

(Real life c*ck photo on real life part of my profile, if anyone is interested.)

 

 

Edited by Marigold Devin
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One response I have found that usually works quite well when fellows IM me to tell me I have a nice body or what have you, is to say thank you, and send them the landmark to where I purchased it and say, there you are, you can have one like it too if you go there.

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Is there a chance that the nice "*****" you have is a "torch"?

If so, I must apologize for Maddy IMing you. She gets carried away when she sees instruments of immolation.

If it's not the case that you're being complimented on your nice torch, I'm sure Maddy would be happy to give you hers. It has been her ardent desire to incinerate someone who offered an unwelcome advance. Unfortunately, that's never happened. The torch, unlike Maddy, remains pristine.

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If someone tells me my avatar looks nice, I politely thank them. That shuts people up for some reason.
If someone comments on my breast or ass - I get to have fun. "I know." get's them just as furious as "Mhm, your exquisite way with words is quite charming." - sometimes I ask them if they tried that approach in RL as well, and how it went. Surprisingly, noone lied and said "Yes, it went well" so far. And as soon as they got mad, I won.

I need a new hobby, heh.

 

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56 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:


 

57 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

If someone tells me my avatar looks nice, I politely thank them. That shuts people up for some reason.
If someone comments on my breast or ass - I get to have fun. "I know." get's them just as furious as "Mhm, your exquisite way with words is quite charming." - sometimes I ask them if they tried that approach in RL as well, and how it went. Surprisingly, noone lied and said "Yes, it went well" so far. And as soon as they got mad, I won.

I need a new hobby, heh.

 


Your "hobby" makes me laugh out loud.

And also reminds me of a hobby I used to have; such "compliments" or unimaginative conversation starters as "nice ass" or "want to ****" and I would sometimes offer a kiss, but as I wore a "Kiss Me Deadly" HUD when I offered that kiss, the men would think they were having a lucky day, and then a moment after the kiss, their avatar would drop to the floor like a stone and they would have no control over their avatar for about 30 seconds.

I suppose this would be seen as a griefer's tool nowadays (or it might actually be "SLillegal" as undoubtedly it would add to my avatar's complexity).

Another quite naughty thing I would do sometimes if I was offered a vulgar chat-up line is I would teleport into the middle of a box of bot avatars, then offer a teleport request to the "lucky gentleman" - they always accepted the teleport, and being faced with a large room full of very silent avatars must have been not what they were expecting.  

Such fun! Such fun :)
 

 

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8 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Your "hobby" makes me laugh out loud.

And also reminds me of a hobby I used to have; such "compliments" or unimaginative conversation starters as "nice ass" or "want to ****" and I would sometimes offer a kiss, but as I wore a "Kiss Me Deadly" HUD when I offered that kiss, the men would think they were having a lucky day, and then a moment after the kiss, their avatar would drop to the floor like a stone and they would have no control over their avatar for about 30 seconds.

I suppose this would be seen as a griefer's tool nowadays (or it might actually be "SLillegal" as undoubtedly it would add to my avatar's complexity).

Another quite naughty thing I would do sometimes if I was offered a vulgar chat-up line is I would teleport into the middle of a box of bot avatars, then offer a teleport request to the "lucky gentleman" - they always accepted the teleport, and being faced with a large room full of very silent avatars must have been not what they were expecting.  

Such fun! Such fun :)

I already like you, haha.

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18 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

I already like you, haha.

Thank you (laughing in real life) - and another thing I have been known to do when someone has come on to me when I have just not been in the mood (for example, when I was just having a quiet look around the Titanic), is I have said "Does my bum look big in this" and have turned myself into this ...

giant snail.jpg

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44 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Thank you (laughing in real life) - and another thing I have been known to do when someone has come on to me when I have just not been in the mood (for example, when I was just having a quiet look around the Titanic), is I have said "Does my bum look big in this" and have turned myself into this ...

giant snail.jpg

Your bum looks huge in that... if that's your bum.

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Haha, thanks for your reactions guys! Do you think you can avoid this by choosing a male avatar or not? Btw I don't know if I want to be a male avatar, but just curious about experiences from others :) 

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No, it really cannot be avoided. If you make your avatar attractive, regardless of gender, people will comment. If you go in the opposite direction, and make your avatar unattractive, people will comment about how ugly you are. Merely because someone IMs you, you are not obligated to answer them. That is another option. Someone makes a comment, do not reply and just mute them if you feel that strongly about it.  Remember, it is your avatar, a cartoon representation ... not you.

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43 minutes ago, Lotte1607 said:

Haha, thanks for your reactions guys! Do you think you can avoid this by choosing a male avatar or not? Btw I don't know if I want to be a male avatar, but just curious about experiences from others :) 

I have a couple of male avatars too,  and in the main they get ignored completely, unless I go to a dance club. Oddly, when I am in as male, I let the female avatar lead with the conversation, but I have, on more than one occasion, hopped onto a pink dance ball in error!

My little ginger cat avatar on Marigoldspare avatar also gets ignored (the ginger cat is just one of the many library avatars in all our inventories). 

Edited by Marigold Devin

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9 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Your bum looks huge in that... if that's your bum.

Well its certainly not my head - that got stuck in the ceiling!

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2 hours ago, Lotte1607 said:

Haha, thanks for your reactions guys! Do you think you can avoid this by choosing a male avatar or not? Btw I don't know if I want to be a male avatar, but just curious about experiences from others :) 

As Snugs so proudly announced, I don't get enough attention with any avatar to notice much difference. That's probably because of the venues I choose and the infrequency of my public outings. When I do go out, it's usually me that's starting the conversations. My favorite avatar of late is a li'l devil with a fiery trident that I was given by my friend, Parhelion. I now begin conversations with new people by stabbing them a bit. Like Mari turning into a big-assed snail, I find these unusual avatars great fun.

Many of the problems I experience in RL/SL are at least partly my fault, and thankfully somewhat under my control. Challenge yourself to turn your unwanted encounters into teachable moments for the one bothering you, or at least a satisfying moment of self empowerment as you pull from SL's magnificent quiver of tools for avoidance and retribution.

;-).

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2 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

As Snugs so proudly announced, I don't get enough attention with any avatar to notice much difference. That's probably because of the venues I choose and the infrequency of my public outings. When I do go out, it's usually me that's starting the conversations. My favorite avatar of late is a li'l devil with a fiery trident that I was given by my friend, Parhelion. I now begin conversations with new people by stabbing them a bit. Like Mari turning into a big-assed snail, I find these unusual avatars great fun.

Many of the problems I experience in RL/SL are at least partly my fault, and thankfully somewhat under my control. Challenge yourself to turn your unwanted encounters into teachable moments for the one bothering you, or at least a satisfying moment of self empowerment as you pull from SL's magnificent quiver of tools for avoidance and retribution.

;-).

Nothing better than self-empowerment ;) And funnnn avatars :D 

NB: Second photo was taken at Bear infohub - seems appropriate somehow (although not acceptable to come face to ...erm ... face 

with ... !!!

running with scissors.jpg

bare at Bear.jpg

Edited by Marigold Devin
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On 4/2/2017 at 5:28 AM, Lotte1607 said:

Hi everyone,

I'm pretty new to SL but lately I keep getting IMs saying stuff like nice ass, or nice *****. Does anybody have ideas about how I can avoid this?

Quietly mute/block people and move on.

If you're on 'G' land and so are they... Abuse Report them.

I'm generally on 'A' land so I've just learned to 'block' and move on with things, most of the time. Yes the general assumption on 'A' land is such conduct is the norm... but I have no time to bother with people who just look at my avatar without reading my profile...

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On ‎4‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 8:35 PM, Snugs McMasters said:

She lied.

Want to tell her to stop?

*sigh*. The more it changes, the more it stays the same. You're a saint, Snugs. But it's still the same old story.

 

Go ahead—play it, Sam. If she can take it, so can I.

 

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Greetings all!

We are sorry to hear that users have been exposed to comments or private messages from other users that may contain inappropriate language, offers, or other communications. 

As stated, some replies that contain a witty response can remedy the immediate issue with a particular user.  If you chose not to respond to the user and would prefer to ensure that you never receive another communication from the same user again during your Second Life endeavors, you may mute/block the individual and they will be unable to send you any future private messages and you will not be exposed to any communications that they may post in the open channels on a region or parcel. 

 

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