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SAGEofTHEsixPATHS

need some adivce wanting to try slave/sub first time

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so I've been on sl using it to have fun. there was a time I was looking for a master/mistress but couldn't get one. got offers and at least went through the talks of what was expected but with me being new to this and never trying it I do not know what I should do to actual get one and wether or not it a sub or slave (as I know there is a difference in what I might be to some.)
for me, i want to be used and told what to do. since I haven't found any limits I don't know my limits. I know of 2-3 limits that I have. but anything else so far goes in my book. when I ever started talking to those people ill tell them. if you try something and I learn I don't like it ill tell them and be willing to talk about it, but ill be willing to try it at least once.

what should I do? is there a good place to go to to find master or mistress?

also not good at the whole rping yet for this. I mean its basic and would like to improve but unsure how unless I see others do it. when doing group activities like this I pay attention to what the others do and try them my own way to improve but haven't done heavy rp or decent yet.  
this is not me asking for im in the world to offer to be master/mistress but just for help so I can see if I can find one on my own

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I am still trying to figure this out for myself lol

I was looking for a master for awhile, I came across some ppl, just by joining groups that cater to this and talking in the chats on and off

From what I have experienced so far, its not an easy task to just whip out a master in thin air and have it work perfectly 

It will take awhile, trial and error to find someone that is going to suit you and what you are looking for

There are many places and options you can put yourself out there to explore this more, that being, Groups on SL, Open Collar Temple, Gor, looking on the forums here for other ppl looking for the same thing or announcing new places that offer this services

As for RP, well you need to just practise, I am still practising with my RP but I had to stop due to not having enough time as I am busy with other things like my business

What I have found that ppl are pretty nice and decent most of them understanding that you are still learning and don't put to much pressure on yourself with it, I find myself not able to RP well if I am putting to much pressure on myself. Don't Try to aim to write a book either, most ppl I've talked to rather have someone emote a  sentence that is to the point and descriptive rather than wait 2 hours for a paragraph from a book.

So yeah, you just have to give it a go explore, put yourself out there, talk to ppl

 

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Honestly, you will just have to put yourself out there and talk to people. Its hit and miss, sometimes you will find someone willing to guide you and teach you, and sometimes people will exploit that part (there is always those people out there). 

I would suggest finding some places that do BDSM discussion, research, and so forth to learn more about what you are interested in. When it comes to limits, you want to have anything that would make you cringe, you get a sinking feeling in your gut and so forth and put those as your limits for starters. As you continue on your way, you can always tip toe across those limits and try them. Those things that get you wet/hard thinking about, smiling when the thought crosses your mind. Those would be your kinks. 

If you ever want someone to talk to about starting in the lifestyle, you are welcome to im me, and i can also point you to dome discussions (Yes, i will even offer for you to come ot the one i lead lol) can help you find others to talk to, and more. 

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A couple of thoughts;

(a) - At one time SL had several groups that offered a course of training for Submissives. I will try to dig up information and post that for you as well. If you can locate one of those, it will give you exposure to the terminology, customs and the more Accepted Practices of the BDSM community. It might also get you started off without falling into the hands of a Dominant who does not have your best interests at heart. Once you build up a baseline of experience, you will know more about your limits and kinks.

(b) - If you re looking for a Female Dominant, the Velvet Thorn is a very welcoming community (I used to host there in Saturday's). I would reccommend that you go to one of their events, find someone with a Velvet Mistress tag and ask permission in Local to speak to them in IM about learning more about Velvet Thorn and FemDom. They should be able to offer insight and perhaps direct you to a Dominant who can help you.

(c)..Be sure of what you want. If you read item "b" and said to yourself "why the hell do I need to ask in local for permission to IM someone ?", then Bondage and Discipline might not be your "thing". If it made Perfect Sense, then continue....... No judgement there, it's just that many people who want -only- erotic bondage really don't want bondage and discipline outside the bedroom, and a big chunk of the SL BDSM crowd are focused on "Lifestyle" bondage that takes place in and out of the bedroom.

(d) - I would really reccommend that you start off pursuing the Submissive role. "Slave" is a whole other gig and time as a Submissive would tell you whether or not Slave is really up your alley.

Hopefully this helped a little. If you want to chat, feel free to PM me. I am not looking for a Submissive right now, but maybe I can help with information :-)

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Stay away from discussion groups, training classes, guidance committees, etc.

Theres is, in RL and SL, a group of about 10% of the "BDSM Scene" who *THINK* they are the 90%, they appoint them selves to committees and formulate rules and guidelines and dictat and dogma.

"The Officially Official Members of the Officially Official Committee to Officially Promulgate the Officially Official Guidelines on How to Officially do Officially Official BDSM Officially!"

And of course, the other 90% of BDSM people don't count as BDSM people because they are automatically excluded by the Rules passed by the 10%ers.

The kind of "Protocol Whores" who'll tell you that you are not REAL BDSM people if you don't know the official meanings of the official colours of the official Ying/Yang/Yong symbol they invented for their official website, regardless of the fact that you might have been involved in the Scene RL when they were still playing with alphabet blocks...

Som wander around the various places in SL, that you can find on search, watch the 90%, ask questions, talk to people.
 

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Talk to people and try find a Master/Mistress who accepts you for play sessions at first, and go for the sub role, so that you can learn whether that really is your thing or not. You can still explore the slave role later on if you want.

That being said, it can be a slippery slope from being a play-session sub to becoming a TPE-slave.

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Klytyna that is not always true. There are several discussions that are held in world that are held by those that are in a D/s relationship outside of sl. I for one lead one of those discussions. Now I will agree, that many that claim to be in the lifestyle are sl only and they will take the dynamic completely out of context. Those that demand HP (High Protocol) for example are those group of people that do not understand what it really is and what it involves in rl. 

The first step honestly though, is to do your own research. Find out what submissive style works for you, what you are interested in. Finding those that are like minded in interests and kinks can help you to discover if that aspect of the lifestyle, or the lifestyle in general is for you. 

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I used to be a submissive and now I want to start as a dominant (I really didn't find myself at the submissive role). If you want IM me and we can chat, or even try something if we have compatible timezones.

It's like the others said, go to groups, auction houses, and eventually you'll find a good master.

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I went through sub training under a different avi a while back but have found it hard to find a master outside of that training.  Any advice?  I've hung around some of the BDSM areas hoping to find someone who knows what they are doing.  

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hang out at like mind places, one is sure to find you, don't rush it & be careful, explain from the start what you will & will not do, what you are looking for and your title as in sub or slave their is a huge difference

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Hello lilithsilk and SAGEofTHEsixPATHS,

 

i hope things have are going well for you :)

if you have already found a partner , then that is great. however, if you have not found a partner yet for your BDSM activities, please send a message in game and i would love to discuss if maybe we may be a good fit as i'm New to the Dom Role and would love to learn with someone who is new to the Sub role.  this way we can both learn and grow.

you can also send a message through the forums by going to my profile and clicking message at the top.  that way we can find a time that works for us to set aside to discuss this.

i've been into the RP side for a while so i don't mind helping you learn that side if you are interested.

have a great day and hopefully your SL is as fun as you hoped it would be.

 

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