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So many lonely people

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I was looking for somthing else and came across this and it is kind of sad really so many people in sl there should be no reason for anyone to be lonely.

I have a great family and a wonderful group of friends,  I dont mind sharing them so if you need if just look me up you can never have to many firends.

Hugs to the lonely and happy hunting.

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It may seem difficult to believe that people can be lonely, but there are. 

Perhaps they are too shy to make the first move and say hi to someone, but feel better about coming to a forum and telling a bit about themselves.  At least if they get a reply they know the person is at least interested in being friends.

Perhaps they meet a lot of people, but haven't clicked with anyone due to a lack of common interests.  The forums can be a way of finding people like that.

A lot of newer people complain no one will talk to them even if they make the first move to open a conversation.  Unless you are really extroverted and are willing to try again and again that can lead to loniless too.

I commend you for posting and welcoming people to share your friends though. :smileyvery-happy:

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Well that makes sence but still kind of sad.  My advice would be get out and speak up then.  You never know who out there is feeling the same I guess.  

Snickers and yes it was pretty darn generous of me to offer my friends up..lol, now that you bring it up.

Best to all

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page Putzo wrote:

I was looking for somthing else and came across this and it is kind of sad really so many people in sl there should be no reason for anyone to be lonely.

I have a great family and a wonderful group of friends,  I dont mind sharing them so if you need if just look me up you can never have to many firends.

Hugs to the lonely and happy hunting.

Sorry mate, The Beatles got there first and said it much better.

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Loneliness sucks. When no one is willing to be there for you in all things it sucks. When no one is willing to even give you a chance because they're already happy with others it sucks. That's why I always keep others in mind. Sometimes I even share life stories with a stranger and we get on and get close. Open up on a personal level. When people know I'm there it makes them feel better. And me too when I'm feeling like **bleep** myself.

But how does one get long term company in that way? We all have our own needs. Many will even have RL needs. Many will also be too afraid to take it to RL because they're escaping. Probably afraid more of themselves then anything. I generally know the feeling in the worst way possible. No such thing as being a burden around me though. Not when it comes to those I care about at least.

Now as for that way it's all in the wording and establishing what's needed without making it feel like it's an obligation. Let's take my owner for example. Walked up to her at club yiff (of all places). We got on and clicked. So I asked if it would be possible to be a RL pet down the line if we get that close on SL first. This is something I need to know so that I know I'm kept in mind (I'm not looking for a yes or no so much as a maybe so). I also need to know real life genders too. Don't care what the gender is, I just want an honest answer and opening up establishes trust. I love guys as much as girls even if there's a lack of sexual attraction. I want to know if people will be there for me or not. To be honest with me or not. If no one is willing to do that then I can't be there for them. It's actually surprsing how many are willing to be both open and honest (and even there). But it can be easy to give the wrong impression too and I had to learn the hard way how to get "down the line" established without giving people the wrong impression.

Thing is, strangers tend to be mistrustful and assume the worst of things. Yes someone wants you to be there for them. No you're not obligated to be. They won't be there for you if you're not there for them either though. That's not to say I give strangers a chance easily right off the bat, only that I always leave the door open for it. It sucks when someone approaches you, adds you on skype and then unfriends you just for "a clash of interests". In this case it wasn't even in that way. Too many people avoid each other for being different. Doing things together is important of course but I'd never unfriend someone just for being different. And I can't get into different things if I'm not around them either. Way I see it it's their loss. Mine too to a lesser degree but I stopped caring about the person at the point they unfriended me. Mistrust and fear I get, avoding me/others due to be different is not something I will ever stand for though. It only ever hurts people in the end. And makes people lonely. I keep in touch with people very different from me. Why? Because no one has to be like me for me to get on with them. Technically I'm the more different one but the same logic applies. Wait, this means others I know don't avoid me for being different. Yay!

Oh, also with that owner thing I'm a pet to her and a part of her poly family now. We're all quite different to each other too. But in the end everyone is human and similar because we all have emotions and all that.

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It's weird but I made a friend in SL over the weekend. We talked a lot and we had stuff in common. Then she just unfriended me for no reason. It's such a weird thing. I guess stuff like that happens but a part of me always wants to know why.

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After a 3 year retreat from SL I can write under that socially, things have changed quite a bit. I guess it mirrors the harsher climate we live in globally where there is fear and reluctance all around. We have become less talkative because we are more afraid to say something wrong, we find it harder to start a conversation because of fear of what the other person might think of us.

When I first came into SL people could start a conversation or at least say hello without them having a tip-jar around them. Nowadays the ones that say hello are the ones doing it because of work / money. I like to read a  person's profile and some people have interests that we could talk about, but people just are on ignore mode most of the time. Most likely also AFK. 

It is therefore not a surprise people start to feel isolated as we begin to live a more and more isolated live ourselves in RL as well. 

On a positive side, there are still people that value others and are open for a chat about whatever it may be. But this is mostly a community of people that the majority frown upon still and rather engage with as privately as possible out of fear what others might think of them. 

 

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Elijah, the way I get past the New Modern “you must agree with me or we can’t speak” trend is just to talk to lots of people :-)

The ones who insist on absolute conformity to -their- idea of non-conformity won’t get a second conversation.  The ones who are open to genuine conversation are the keepers.

I sift many grains of sand, the reward is the occasional diamond :-)

Thats as it should be. Nothing valuable comes without a little effort.....

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This is one of the things I noticed about the SL community as a whole, the way there is so many lonely, sensitive and easily hurt people using it to try to socialise.  

Unless you are interested in one of the more common activities people congregate at meeting people is not easy and you can find yourself at a loss for something to do. 

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I meet people who are messaging me loads, chatty etc then as soon as I add them, they disappear & blame rl. I know people have busy lives that must come first, but personally I always MAKE time for friends whether rl is busy/difficult or not.

I have one person on my friends list who barely logs in, and get sick of bugging people (if I message them always I feel that way). In the end I just take the hint & go.

I feel like many only want friends when it suits them, but as soon as other stuff comes up they stop bothering, maybe as they don't understand we're real people not avs (or it's easier to treat online ppl badly than rl?)

So while i'm really alone in both worlds & have an illness that means that is worse for me, i'd rather that than fake friends where I need to make all the effort

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Meeting people in SL is a lot like meeting people anywhere in RL. Some people you just "click" with. Often times one good conversation is all you'll get, but you can't let that discourage you. I definitely agree that finding others with mutual interests helps a lot, but even more importantly it would help if people put effort into their message.

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There are a lot of lonely people in SL and I am one of them.
Almost 12 years in SL . In the early years of SL people were all socializing, lively chat in crowded clubs and in no time you had 30 names on your list.
It were not all true friends but at least you knew a lot of people.
I find it very difficult to make new friends. SL has changed from a virtual world into a roleplay game.

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So many people are lonely because they are waiting for someone else to make the first move. Still others want that “first move” to be blatantly sexual and that can make people a little leery about “just talking” to others as many mistake friendliness for a come-on.

Personally, I still like to talk to people, and after a while you get better at dropping ice-cubes in the pants of the over-eager ones....

What you meant by saying “Hello, welcome to SL..”

giphy.gif

What he thought you meant..

giphy.gif

What happened next....

giphy.gif

Edited by AmandaKeen
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and once they move fast like that (see images in above post) and you tell them about it, they are deeply offended by it and the daily guilt trips begin!

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