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Really struggling to fit in anywhere


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Hello everyone,

I am relitivley new here and really having a hard time meeting anyone new. It seems like where ever I go, the rooms either silent, or just not noticing me. I really want to make friends through this site and I spend a lot of time wandering from one place to the next hoping to meet people but nothings working. Any tips or anything that could help?

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Welcome to SL 2016, sadly it's not what it use to be. Most places are very empty now and even the busy places seem to be very quiet also. People dont seem to reach out much anymore and the rumors of people talking more in IM I suspect false. I would guess that even the busy clubs are full of alts and bots to increase traffic. There are some fun places out there and some nice people depending on what interests you. JUst keep looking and try speaking first, I am sure you will find a place yopu like if you don't give up. 

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A few suggestions:

 

1. Take a look at everyone's profile. In public chat, make comments on their profiles or avatars. Someone's profile says they like to travel? Try saying "<Name here>, I see you like to travel. Been to any interesting places recently? I recently visited <insert place here> and loved it!"

 

2. Make comments on people's avatars. Most people invest time and some invest considerable money in their appearance. Many appreciate being noticed. Even better than the generic "You look great," try something like "<insert name here>, I really like your wings. They are a great touch!" or something along those lines.

 

3. Fill out your own profile and really take your time. Most people are only going to check your profile once. So really make it count by filling it out as if this is your only chance. Upload some nice photos and clearly state if there is anything you are looking for or not looking for. This is a great opportunity to help save people wasting their time with you. (For instance if you don't want to have sex, are not interested in relationships, only want sex with a certain sex, etc.)

 

4. Make your avatar stick out, if you want. For example, I am almost always with a KittyCat. This makes me pretty memorable.

 

5. Keep the focus on OTHER people. People like to talk about themselves. Ask questions about them instead of focusing on you. It may seem unfair at first, but this actually benefits you. This really helps you learn more about that person quickly, and thus identify if you want to invest much time in pursuing a friendship with them.

 

6. Landmark places and quickly scan them multiple times. Often you might just miss someone by a few minutes. They arrived and found no one there, so they left. You arrived and found no one there, so you left. Spend five minutes or so somewhere and try back again later.

 

7. Remember people. People really like if you remember things they've previously said. Someone said they weren't feeling well? Next time you see them, ask how they are feeling. Someone recently told me they are working on a book, so I frequently ask them about it. If you have trouble remembering details, use the note function in their profile.

 

Good luck.

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I really liked Nalytha's comments and I'm planning to use some of them myself, since I'm not really good at making friends, either.

I'm not sure you will find friends on the forums. It is a great place to get and give information, but inworld I find that joining groups that share my same interests is better. Figure out what you want to do, then look for a group that shares that interest. One thing to be careful of, though, in the long history of Second Life many groups have formed and then become dormant. Click on the group and look for more detailed information - is anyone on the member list online? - are notices sent out regularly?

If you are interested in building then Happy Hippos, Builder's Brewery, and Dreams Builders are good. Newcomers could benefit by joining NCI or Helping Haven. Gamers might like to join Mad Peas, etc....

Just going to concentrations of green dots is not always reliable. I always find piles of bodies at the Zindra Infohubs, but most of them are not looking for the same things I am. Hope this is a little help.

 

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Nalytha wrote:

 

 

7. Remember people. People really like if you remember things they've previously said. Someone said they weren't feeling well? Next time you see them, ask how they are feeling. Someone recently told me they are working on a book, so I frequently ask them about it. If you have trouble remembering details, use the note function in their profile.

 

Good luck.

Nalytha gave some really good points, i'd like to add a little feature that will help with this last one... if you talk to people, note some basics you want to remember about them in the profile of that person, there's a special tab for making notes that only you can see.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I could be your simple friend, bacause loke you, i'm new here and finding out to make my way around here..

 

One way, you could live better with this ignore from the rest of the world, is by thinking that maybe the problem it's them, your perfectly normal and cool.........it's a better way of making your way in this world

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